


That Which Matters Most

by Grace Kay (Drummerchick7)



Series: Music and Mayhem [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/F, Romance, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-02-20 01:10:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 84,061
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2409581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drummerchick7/pseuds/Grace%20Kay
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Amidst the blood and gore of war, there are tender moments. There is sorrow and joy, anger and laughter, fear and love. Follow Samantha Traynor and Ashley Williams as they discover those things which matter most amidst it all.  [On Hiatus for now, I may get back to it at some point.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Title thanks to Raven Sinead. Cover art thanks to LannMelo. Second Installment of the Music and Mayhem series, sequel to "Check and Mate". All characters belong to Bioware.

**Ashley**

There was nothing more attractive to Ashley Williams than the sight she currently beheld. Samantha was poised on top of her, her fingers interlaced with Ashley’s as the lieutenant-commander supported her. She rocked back and forth on top of Ashley, shuddering with pleasure as a single drop of sweat that had beaded on her chest slowly traced its way down between her large, swinging breasts. If Ashley hadn’t been in the zone, moving unconsciously with Sam in just that special way, then she would be utterly still, captivated by the sight. Occasionally her eyes stole down to the place where their bodies met, watching the clever device that was also buried inside of Ashley disappearing into her girlfriend before making brief, rhythmic reappearances.

The intriguing thing about the toy she was using – indeed, it was the thing that made them purchase it two weeks before – was that it transmitted sensation. So every move, every gyration, every grinding motion, and any involuntary clamping of Sam’s muscles sent amazing sensations dancing over Ashley’s clit as well as sailing along inside of her.

All of a sudden, Sam’s fingers tightened in Ashley’s. The LC felt an accompanying intensity with the toy as Sam’s inner muscles clamped down on it. Sam shuddered, barking out a cry of pleasure as she threw her head back.

Ashley felt the drop of sweat finally hit her stomach as her own muscles tightened in preparation for her orgasm. Her back arched, causing Samantha to rise into the air a little as waves of pleasure washed over her.

It was several moments before she finally collapsed, a boneless communications specialist following suit.

No words were said. Ashley merely threw an arm around Sam and rested it there as they caught their breaths. Sweat gathered wherever their skin touched, but they didn’t mind. In fact, it just made Ashley feel even more secure, as at the moment a snowstorm raged outside the single window of Samantha’s tiny studio apartment. The fact that they could be so warm when outside it was so cold made the contented feeling of having the woman she loved in her arms even warmer, more comfortable, and in a way, even sexier.

After a moment she tightened her grip on Sam, bodily lifting the woman off of her temporary member before rolling them to their sides. The smaller woman let out a whimper at the loss of fullness, but Ash quickly had them pressed together again, supplying a large amount of skin contact to offset the empty feeling.

“God, Ashley,” Sam murmured, even the sound of her voice long and languid as she almost absently nuzzled her face back and forth into the cleft between Ashley’s breast and shoulder. It was something she did often, especially in this delicious moment after sex, in order to get as much direct skin contact to her face, and to smell what she called Ashley’s “glorious sex-smell,” whatever that was. Ashley assumed it was her drying sweat, but she wasn’t going to complain. Having a beautiful woman love the scent of your very _body_ was a feature, not a bug.

Ashley grinned slowly, everything feeling just a bit sluggish in their post-sex haze. “That good, huh? Can’t even finish what you were going to say?”

Sam didn’t respond right away. Instead she pulled herself up to give Ashley a long, lingering kiss. As she did so, her hand slipped down to the toy still firmly embedded inside of Ashley. She gave it a few almost loving strokes, which only served to set all of Ashley’s nerves on fire, leaving her undecided as to whether it hurt or felt _amazing_. Then Sam was removing the toy, gently freeing it from Ashley’s center before tossing it carelessly to the end of the bed. She pulled back a little, a smile on her face that made it clear she was _entirely_ pleased with herself.

“Happy anniversary, darling,” she murmured. Ashley just smiled in response, reaching her arms up to engulf the smaller woman in a bear hug.

But Samantha didn’t let her. She ducked out of Ashley’s embrace, rolling onto her other side and reaching down over the side of the bed.

“Baby? What’s going on?” Ashley asked, utterly confused. Was something wrong?

Sam didn’t answer, instead righting herself. Pushing herself up to her knees, she shushed Ashley with a look before pushing her hair behind her ears.

That’s when Ashley noticed the box, and her heart stopped even as Samantha smiled coyly and opened it.

“Jesus _fuck_ , Samantha!”

It came out without Ashley quite being aware of it. It took a moment for her heart to speed back up. In that moment, Samantha had started speaking.

“My dear, foul-mouthed woman,” she began with a smirk. “One year ago today, you asked me all about my sordid past on a shuttle. You then saved me from the big, scary table, let me sing to you, and generally charmed my pants right off. And then my pants really _did_ come off, and somewhere along the line I realized I was falling rather fast and hard for this woman who was supposed to be a fling while I was home on leave. Then you saved me and my family, and ever since you have been an absolute _thorn_ in my _side_.”

Ashley let out a snort of laughter despite her stunned, awed silence up to this point. She knew she was gaping like a fish, but she couldn’t help it: Samantha was proposing to her, and Ashley had _not_ seen it coming.

Samantha took a deep breath before continuing. “I find that the thorn is comfortable, and I would rather miss it if I were to remove it. So I thought I’d propose that the thorn stay forever and ever, but now I think this metaphor has gotten away from me, so I’ll just say it. Ashley Williams… will you marry me?”

Ashley didn’t really know _what_ to say. They’d sort of talked about marriage, enough to know that they each wanted it in the future, but no solid plans had been made or anything. They’d been together for a few weeks at the beginning, followed by six months of only seeing each other once a month if they were _lucky_. The last six months or so, however, had been _amazing_ , both of them stationed at Alliance HQ in Vancouver, where Sam worked on the retrofits for the dry-docked Normandy. Ashley was to be XO on the vessel when it was once-more space worthy, under the command of Admiral Anderson.

In fact, she had been dreading the coming weeks because the ship very nearly _was_ ready to fly. It meant that Ashley would have to leave Sam behind again. She would have to put herself in danger, risk her life and her body’s capabilities in the line of duty. She had thought a time or two about proposing before then, but it was extremely difficult to ask that of Sam. It was a common thing, she knew, for soldiers to be unable to ask that of their significant others. The lack of proposal, and the constant danger, had ruined more than one relationship.

But Sam knew that – they had talked about it – and now knelt before her, asking her anyway. Asking despite the risk, asking despite the uncertainty. She’d even gotten a ring – white gold with several small diamonds, Ashley’s birthstone – and was now holding it out, gazing into Ashley’s eyes, completely hopeful and guileless. Her eyes held every emotion they’d spoken of together – deep affection, lust, happiness, contentedness, safety and trust – and the answer was on Ashley’s lips mere seconds after Sam had finished her little speech.

“Of course, doofus!” she laughed, pulling the other woman in for a kiss that was bruising in its intensity. But as intense as it was, it was short-lived, Sam pushing back and delicately placing the ring upon Ashley’s finger.

“I know you can’t wear it at work,” she started, slipping the thing home, “but I sneaked a scan on my omnitool for size, so I wanted to see that it was, indeed…”

“A perfect fit,” Ashley finished for her, smiling as she held it up to the faint light coming in through the window from the streetlight outside. It felt a little funny, because she wasn’t used to having a ring on, but it fit like it was supposed to be there, nonetheless. “I don’t care that I can’t wear it at work, baby. I’m not at work right now.”

“No, you’re not,” Sam sighed with a gleam in her eyes before shoving forward and tackling Ashley back to the bed. “You’re right here with me, and I don’t intend to waste a single second of it,” she said as she began to stoke the coals in Ashley’s loins into flames all over again.

Ashley was all too happy to oblige.


	2. The Invasion of Earth

**Samantha**

Samantha was a jittery mess when she went in to work the next day. She didn't actually have an engagement ring – the downside of actually _doing_ the proposing – but she still felt like she was broadcasting her current marital status ( _pre-marital status? Somehow that just sounds dirty…_ ) to the world. She was _incredibly_ pleased with herself, and generally with how her anniversary had gone, _despite_ not having the day off, but she was now jumpy, expecting people to say something left and right, even if they had no way of knowing she was now well on her way to being made an honest woman – or, rather, making an honest woman out of herself.

Part of this was because of the endless string of practical jokes she and Joker had sprung on each other over the last several months. They had met six months before, on her first day stepping foot on the _Normandy_ , and almost immediately started up a relationship not unlike brother and sister – specifically not unlike her relationship to her _own_ brothers. Which meant that mere weeks in to the retrofits, she had come to her station only to find a mysterious box sitting on her console. The moment she touched it, it had sprung open, a rubber snake flying into her face, startling her so badly she let out a shriek. The shriek was shortly followed by the pilot's mad cackle, and from that moment it was _war_.

She was currently in the lead, meaning she kept coming aboard the ship just _waiting_ for some trick to be sprung upon her. She would check her console thoroughly, the high ceiling of the CIC, the space beneath her console… each day for the last week, nothing. She was beginning to think that there was no prank, and his goal was to simply drive her mad waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Despite her best efforts at remaining cool, it was working.

So today's jitteriness was partly due to Joker's antics, and partly due to what he might say or do if he could smell her engagement on her.

She got through the airlock just fine, however, silently coaching herself to keep it cool ( _keep it cool keep it cool you totally look normal keep it cool_ ). Once past his seat and his pleasant, "Mornin', Sam," she almost giddily ran to her station, visually confirming the lack of any obvious traps or pranks before dropping her duffel bag in the Pile Of Nameless Shit that was in front of the new bulkhead leading to what used to be the armory and which was now the port side of the War Room.

Today was Friday, and she and Ashley would be spending the weekend with Ashley's mother. It was a last-minute idea. Well, no, "idea" was a misnomer. It was a last-minute _demand_ made by Ashley's mum when the LC had called her mother late the night before – midmorning in France where her mum was – to show her the engagement ring. Mrs. Williams had then informed them that the guest bedroom would be ready the next night, and she would be expecting them for dinner.

"The woman is like a no-nonsense version of _my_ mum," Samantha now mumbled, opening up her usual windows after inputting her security code. Her mail was the usual, with an updated task list, an ANN newsletter, various spam messages, and… porn. He actually embedded porn in her task list!

"Jesus H. Christ! Joker!"

Her only answer was the pilot's usual cackle up from the cockpit.

Narrowing her eyes, Sam hurriedly deleted the message, finding the original _actually_ sent by the requisitions office and opening it up. Fuming silently to herself about Joker's "joke", she almost missed the little ray of joy and sunshine the message held for her.

"Dammit. I _hate_ crawling through the ducts…"

* * *

Sam was in a black mood when she re-emerged from the ducts aft of the conference room. She had zapped herself four times, been prodded for whether she needed help or not by the ( _at least astonishingly sexy-sounding_ ) EDI VI ( _still dubious on the status of Virtual Intelligence – I wouldn't put it past Joker to lie about that)_ , and had had to ignore several calls from her mother, who knew she had planned on proposing the day before and clearly wanted to know all the details (Samantha had at least sent her a holo of the ring on Ashley's finger – she wasn't _completely_ heartless). The only saving grace was that every time she remembered that she had proposed, it put the biggest grin on her face.

"I really need a ring," she mumbled to herself now, putting the tools she had placed in her pockets back into their case. Ashley had said she would get Sam one, even doing a quick scan of the specialist's hand for sizing purposes. Sam had tried to let Ashley know her tastes, but the LC had simply smiled, shaken her head, and informed Sam that she had the perfect thing in mind. If that phrase had come from her brothers – or Joker – Sam might be scared, but she felt confident Ashley wouldn't get her one of those ring candies or something else totally awful for something as important as _this_.

Right?

_Oh shit, now I have no idea_ -

Suddenly, the floor shifted, sending Samantha sprawling to the ground from her knelt position. "What the bloody hell-"

"All hands, report to stations," EDI's voice intoned. "Hostiles detected, lockdown overridden." A pause, then, "The _Normandy_ is engaging in evasive maneuvers. Brace yourselves."

_Well, it's hard to be more braced than flat on your stomach on the floor_ , Samantha couldn't help but think to herself, before truly thinking about the situation. _Wait. Hostiles? On Earth? Shouldn't there have been some_ _ **warning**_ _?_

Trying to push herself to her feet only resulted in her hitting the floor once more as the ship jolted to the side. Other than the ship's jerking, however, the room was silent. Only the sound of her heart and her ragged breathing was the soundtrack to her confusion and slowly growing terror.

After a minute she tried again, getting to her feet cautiously before stumbling to the conference table and catching herself on the edge. Giant cabling that had yet to be buried under the floors tried to trip her, but she managed to keep her feet. Working her way around the table, she aimed for the windows, hoping to get some clue as to what was going on. At the same time, she began talking to EDI.

"EDI, I know you're busy aiding Joker, but what on earth is going on? Who's attacking us?"

Just as EDI answered, Sam braced herself on the window and looked up. Looming before her was an image worse than the nightmares of the Collector ship seen on Horizon that sometimes haunted her. "Giant" only _started_ to describe it. Blacker than any night she had ever experienced, it had tentacle appendages that reached down from the sky like a great hand ready to pluck her from the ground. Originating somewhere above – she couldn't make out the details – was a piercing red light, like a great eye trying to ferret out the smallest details below it.

With her heart sinking into her gut and her body frozen in absolute terror, her mind barely registered EDI's words.

"The Reapers are here, Specialist Traynor."


	3. The Mad Dash to the Normandy

**Ashley**

"Anderson!" Ashley settled into a salute. The admiral returned it before holding out the same hand, which she took, shaking with him. She was _just_ about to tell him her good news – honestly, she felt like a fucking schoolgirl, but she couldn't deny that being engaged to Samantha make her feel giddy as _fuck_ – when she caught just who the people he had been speaking with were.

"Shepard?"

"Ashley?"

Before she could respond – with _what_ she didn't know – Anderson asked her, "Lieutenant-Commander, how did it go in there?"

_Right. I was just in with the Council of Admirals. Telling them what I knew about Sovereign, and the Collectors. Right._

She shook her head as she focused back on Anderson, Shepard and Vega coming up behind him. "I can never tell with them, sir. I'm just waiting for orders now. I think at this point it's clear I'm likely to not get to visit my mother this weekend as I'd planned, though."

He snorted softly, also shaking his head. "The things we do for duty, eh?"

"Lieutenant-Commander?" Shepard asked, furrowing her brows in confusion. The other woman looked as she always had, with short black locks of hair in a persistent muss atop her head. Her skin was a dusky tan, freckles showing over her cheeks and nose. The landscape of Shepard's face had changed, her complexion almost soft. It was a little disconcerting, given that the soldier had had a slash from just under her eye that traveled down through her lips before, a relic of the Skyllian Blitz. The eyes, though… _those_ were the same as they always had been, a blue made brighter by the dark hair and long lashes. The height, too, was the same as it had always been, just a few inches below Ashley's own.

It was clear even under her uniform that Shepard had kept up with her usual fitness regimen while in her odd form of house arrest on base after she'd blown up that mass effect relay. Ashley hadn't seen her at _all_ during that time, not since Shepard had silently relinquished control of the _Normandy_ over to her on the Citadel all those months ago, also turning herself in to Alliance custody. To see her now, in the flesh, the first time actually speaking since their fight on Horizon… Ashley really wasn't sure what to think, other than that it was weird.

Luckily, Anderson saved her from having to puzzle it out in the middle of a conversation. "You didn't know, Shepard?"

"No," Shepard murmured with a headshake. "I'm a bit… out of the loop these days."

Almost unconsciously Ashley was apologizing. "Sorry, ma'am. Didn't mean to keep you out of the loop."

Shepard's expression softened. She always _had_ worn her feelings on her fucking face. _Some marine. Good thing she's a sniper. Keep the enemy from seeing it_. "I'm sure you had your reasons."

"I guess I did," Ashley said with a nod. Somehow she knew they were acknowledging their fight, which she appreciated. Nothing would suck more than to _actually_ pretend like it hadn't happened. Though where that left them, she didn't know. In her eyes, Shepard had still sold herself out to Cerberus, and that wasn't just something you said "Sorry, my mistake" about. You owned up, you did your time, and you _earned_ the respect and loyalty of your people again.

Ashley just hadn't seen Shepard even _try_ to do that yet. And it pissed her off, even though logically she knew it was because her former CO had been incarcerated.

"Admiral," the yeoman who'd been leading Anderson interrupted.

Anderson sighed. "Right. C'mon, Shepard, the War Council wants to see us."

They walked off without another word, but Ashley and Shepard locked gazes for a second while she passed. What Ashley saw was a rock-hard confidence that she had missed terribly since the other woman's death, and it loosened the doubt some. The doubt that Shepard wasn't Shepard, and was instead some construct, some being that was _less_ than her best friend. Given the flurry of activity in the building, the fact that something was going _down_ , it definitely made her feel a little more at-ease. If they had the old Shepard on it, then there was really no chance they could lose.

"You knew the commander?" Vega asked her, getting Ashley's attention back from Shepard's retreating back.

She couldn't hold back the contempt, despite the revelation she'd just had. "I _used_ to," she scoffed, then shook her head. "C'mon, Vega. You knew I served with her, didn't you?"

He just shrugged. "Must've forgotten somewhere along the lines."

She shook her head again as she began walking. "C'mon, I've got some news to share with you."

"Oh?" he asked, falling into step beside her.

In answer she merely held up her hand, wiggling her fingers meaningfully. He looked at it for a second, glancing away, then did a double-take. Stopping, he grabbed her hand to stop her so he could gape. " _Dios mío_! I didn't even know you were seeing someone serious, Ash!"

She snorted, entirely pleased with his response. Her run-in with Shepard was now nearly forgotten. "I spend almost every night at a girl's apartment in the slums, Vega."

He colored a little as he let her hand go. "I, uh… thought that was just a fuck buddy…"

She just gave him a sardonic look. "Well, she's not. She's my girlfriend. Or, _was_ my girlfriend. Now, she's my fiancée." Just saying it made her heart flutter. _A fucking schoolgirl. Jesus, Ash, get your shit together._

"So you proposed last night, then?" he asked as they started walking again.

"No. She actually proposed to _me_. I'd been thinking about it, but… well, that's a lot to ask of a non-com, you know?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I do. It's why I haven't been serious with anyone in a while."

She nodded her own understanding. "But _she_ asked, and she _knows_ what she's asking, what she's signing up for. She's literally asking for it, in as non-rapey a way as possible."

He chuckled before asking, "So is it that girl you brought along drinking a few weeks ago? I can't quite remember her face."

It was Ashley's turn to color a bit. "It's kind of an open secret, because she's, uh… well, she's on the retrofit team…"

"And technically under your command. Yeah, I can see why you would be careful about it. But now that you're engaged it won't matter. Especially since the ship's almost ready for the black."

She blinked stupidly for a moment. "You… you really don't care?"

Vega shrugged. "Why would I care about that? You do your job, you get shit done. As long as she's not on the ground with you, it's not really a danger, right?" He shrugged again. "It's your business. Besides, the rule's still on the books, but it's not enforced unless it's that kinda situation."

She nodded. "That's why we're not super secretive, just quiet. It's not enforced, but the right – or wrong – people would certainly frown on it. I'm just gettin' over the Williams Curse. I don't need that kind of shit on me, especially if I'm hoping to make a little family here. Though like you say, now that we're engaged we can make it all… _official_ and shit."

"So show me a picture or _somethin'_ , Ash. A girl can pin a girl like _you_ down I wanna _see_."

She chuckled, shaking her head, but humored him, pulling up her omnitool and scrolling through the somewhat embarrassing number of pictures of Sam. A fair few were definitely _not_ for anyone's eyes but hers, but those required a whole shit-ton of personal identification – in the form of passcodes and eye scans – in order to access, _just_ in case her omnitool was ever snatched. It was possible to hack, of course, but unlikely to happen just for a few nudies of a nameless woman.

Finding one of her favorites, Ashley enlarged it, slowing down so Vega could get a good look. It was a morning picture of Sam, still sleepy, her hair still mussed. It was actually a screen-shot she'd taken during a morning conversation while they were still apart, when Sam was in Tokyo and Ashley was on the Citadel, when they would video-chat daily. Given the time difference, Ashley would call right before bed, acting as Sam's alarm for the morning. This meant she got the most delicious views of a sleepy, naked Samantha Traynor. They would talk as the comms specialist got dressed for her morning run – something she now did regularly instead of only in preparation for her fitness test, at Ashley's encouragement (and now that she lived off-base and could eat better food, it was a sustainable habit). This particular snapshot featured Sam in a ratty running shirt and a pair of properly fitting gym shorts Ashley had gifted her with ("in return for the shorts you stole from your brother for me," she had said at the time). Sam's eyes were half-lidded, and she was just beginning a beaming smile at some compliment Ashley had given her, making the image have a bit of a tip-of-the-tongue feeling.

"Niiiiiice, Ash," Vega murmured, smiling almost cutely. Certainly, he wasn't leering, which was… unexpected, coming from the huge flirt that Vega was. "I remember her now. _Muy linda_. You can see how much she likes you just from her smile."

"A poet!" Ashley exclaimed, a few different stanzas from a few different works coming to mind. Each was more eloquent than what he'd said, but still.

He snorted, shaking his head as she closed her omnitool. "Naw, Ash. I'm just a connoisseur of pretty gir-"

Suddenly, the world exploded in red fire. As Ashley fell to the ground, all she could think was that recognized that explosion, and the sound accompanying it. _Sovereign._

The Reapers were here.

* * *

Ashley felt big hands grab at her, pulling her toward a solid, warm body, cushioning her fall, keeping her conscious. She blinked the dust and smoke out of her eyes even as she pushed herself up, finding that Vega had indeed saved her skull from being staved in on the edge of a desk. She helped him to his feet before pulling up her omnitool again, getting rid of the picture of Sam with a flick of her fingers before pulling up communications.

"Shit. General communications are down. Hold on."

He looked over her shoulder. "You know a work-around?"

She nodded. "Having a nerdy comms specialist for a girlfriend, you pick up a few tricks. There, that should do it."

{ _This is Admiral Anderson. Report in, anyone!_ } The sound was patchy.

"Anderson, can you hear me?" she asked into her omni, fiddling with the signal she'd hacked. Rather than a broad-band frequency, she had linked directly to Anderson's omnitool, hoping he'd be alive and able to answer.

His answer was much clearer. { _Williams, is that you?_ }

"Yes, sir."

{ _What's your status?_ }

"I'm with Vega. We were on our way to the Normandy to check on some things. What happened, sir? Is it Reapers? I have no goddamn windows."

{ _Yes, Williams. The Council is dead, but I have Shepard. I can't raise the Normandy; you head there. I'll meet you at the landing zone._ }

"Aye, sir," she said, patching her communications into the earbud Vega handed her before closing her omni. She then started to run full-tilt. They needed to get to the ship and open communications on it as soon as possible.

And she needed to reach Samantha sooner than that.

"We need to get outside," she huffed, Vega nodding in understanding. Luckily – though the reason for it obviously sucked – the entire floor was a goddamn fenced-in porch at this point, so finding access to the outdoors was rather easy. Not so lucky was that they were at least a hundred stories off the ground.

_I have to get to Sam. I need to make sure she's okay, make sure she's on the ship. Fuck,_ _**this** _ _is why they had that fucking rule to begin with. I don't even care about all these other people right now. I just need to keep Sam safe…_

Swallowing her panic down and shoving it aside was difficult, but she managed it, as she always had. Working their way down to a maintenance walkway, they were finally able to build up some speed just as Anderson's voice piped into her earbud once more.

{ _Lieutenant-Commander, do you read me?_ }

"Loud and clear, Anderson," she huffed, not bothering to keep the strain of sprinting out of her voice.

{ _I'm patching Shepard in._ }

"Roger. We're almost to the _Normandy_ ," she said, spotting the gleaming new paintjob of its sleek hull as they rounded the corner of the outside of the dry dock's building. Pointing, she silently informed Vega to climb up the ladder ahead so they could run along the _top_ of the embarkation tube, allowing them to hail the suspended ship and get on board. "I've got Lieutenant Vega with me still. No enemies, but we've had to be clever about our routing," she huffed as she took a running leap onto the ladder herself. Vega turned when he was up, holding down one beefy arm. His giant hand closed around hers and he lifted her bodily from the ladder and placed her on her feet. Then they were running again.

{ _Good. We're about ffffffiiiiiiiive-ive mmmm-mmmiiinnnuuuuuutes ooooo_ -}

The transmission cut out. "Anderson! Anderson! Jesus fuck!" she swore. She didn't have time to stop and fiddle with their connection. She merely kept running, spying the hatch open up ahead and feeling her heart somehow begin to pound faster. She couldn't stop. She had to get to Sam.


	4. Getting Communications Back

**Samantha**

"Specialist Traynor, I am having trouble connecting to outdoor personnel and could use your assistance."

Sam furrowed her brow. _EDI is a VI, but she just said "I." That's not right…_ "I'm working on it, EDI," she answered. "Why are the inertial dampeners not working correctly?"

"Engineer Adams is seeing to it. They should be fully functional momentarily." Just as EDI finished, a low hum reverberated around Samantha, followed swiftly by the sudden evening out of the ground she was standing on. Her path now free and clear, Sam went running, forgetting all about her toolkit as she burst into the security screening room.

"Shit," she let out, stepping into the screen as two very harried-looking, rifle-wielding security officers activated the scan. Chomping at the bit, trying very hard not to actually jump up and down with her impatience, Sam was out of that screen as soon as humanly possible, launching herself through the door and sprinting to the Captain's Yeoman's station.

"Okay, EDI, I'm in," she said, though obviously the VI would know that… _Whatever, I talk to myself. So what?_ Her Inner Monologuer was threatening to be her Outer Narrator, which was fine. Anything to get the job done, really.

Before she could do more than start looking at what the problem might be, however, she was practically tackled from behind.

"Oh, thank God you're safe!"

"Ashley?!"

Sam managed to turn in Ashley's embrace, burying her face in the leather of Ashley's father's blue leather jacket. She was immediately surrounded by the familiar scents of lavender, lemongrass, the leather of the old jacket, and that ever-present tobacco-ish scent that followed Ashley wherever she went, and the relief that accompanied it was nearly overwhelming. Samantha wasn't even aware of just how worried she had been until she was presented with her whole, hearty, and hale fiancée. Taking a deep breath, she clung to that feeling as long as she could.

Which wasn't long, as it turned out. "We gotta get comms up, Ash," the large mountain of a man who had accompanied Ashley onto the ship shouted, breaking their moment. Sam had met him once, out drinking. John? James? José? Ashley pulled back, smiling apologetically as she quickly wiped away the single tear that had escaped Sam's eye for her.

"We got the best comm nerd this side of the equator right here," she said, her voice gentle and husky; despite the terror of the situation, Sam desperately wanted to be naked in that woman's arms. Shoving aside that desire, she turned, shaky, back to her station, pulling up her diagnostics for the comm system again and looking to see what the problem was.

Typing quickly, she got partial communications up. "All right, I have partial access."

"We need to find Anderson and Shepard," Ashley said, looking over Sam's shoulder even though both of them knew that Ash had only a rudimentary understanding of the base code Sam was now perusing.

"I don't suppose you have a military comm ID tag for me?" Sam asked hopefully, only to be shot down when Ash shook her head. "Damn. All right, let's just-"

The ID tag she needed suddenly popped up on a new screen, along with Shepard's, courtesy of their remarkably omniscient VI ( _VI my arse. She is definitely an AI)_. "Right. Scary," Sam breathed, but took the information, plugging in the ID tags as fast as she could. Her partial access immediately gave her the location of the two officers, blinking cheerfully from a map on a new screen, taking over the window that had shown her the tags in the first place.

{ _Take my hand,_ } Shepard's voice suddenly piped through the console's speaker.

{ _You can't help me,_ } a small child's voice spoke. It was unknown if the child was male or female, but it really didn't matter. Mostly all of them were completely shocked to hear it at all.

It also made it clear, however, that her partial access also got her partial communications, meaning they could hear Anderson and Shepard, but not speak back. They learned this by repeatedly trying to raise the duo.

"Bloody hell," Samantha mumbled, completely blocking out even the presence of her fiancée. Now, she had a Problem to Solve. Nerdy Sam Brain was coming to the fore, and her fingers flew as she tried to bolster the connection.

Meanwhile, they were privy to the conversation Anderson and Shepard were having after the kid seemed to disappear. { _Every minute these machines are here, thousands of innocent people die,_ } came Anderson's voice.

{ _It's bad enough fighting a war, but it's worse knowing that no matter how hard you try… you can't save them all_.}

"Damn Shepard and her hero-talk," Ashley muttered, pulling Samantha out of her stupor. Ashley then gripped Sam's shoulder tightly for a minute before marching away toward the cockpit, the big marine on her heels.

"Where are you going?" Sam called after her.

"I'm the ranking officer on board, baby. Gotta go take command and shit," was her answer.

 _This is real_ , Sam thought. _This is happening. Oh my Jesus fucking Christ, what are we going to do?!_

Anderson's voice pulled her back to action once more. Ashley could handle the combat part. Sam had to get communications working again. They had to get Anderson and Shepard. Shepard had saved the galaxy twice now. If they had Shepard on this ship, then maybe she could do it again. _Third time's the charm…_

_It's the third time for the Reapers, too, Sammy._

_Not. Helping._

{ _They hit so fast. I thought we'd have more time_ ,} Anderson was saying.

{ _We knew they were coming._ } Shepard sounded annoyed.

{ _And they still just…_ _ **cut through**_ _our defenses,_ } Anderson growled in response. { _We need to go to the Citadel, talk to the Council._ }

{ _The Citadel?!_ } Now Shepard was incredulous. { _The fight's_ _ **here**_.}

{ _It'll be everywhere soon enough,_ } Anderson responded calmly. { _You said it yourself: the Reapers will destroy everything if we don't stop them. The Council_ _ **has**_ _to help us._ } Samantha couldn't help but wonder what in God's name they were doing as they spoke, given all the grunting and scraping sounds. Obviously trying to get to a landing zone for the _Normandy_ , but where? All her map showed her was that they were in the belly of some nameless office building.

The conversation went on, doubting whether the Council would actually help – apparently Shepard had some experience to tell her otherwise? – but Samantha was now in view of getting communications to work two ways again. A few more insertions of fixes to bugs in the code, and she had it.

"Ashley!" she shouted, then remembered internal comms on the ship. "Ashley," she said again, quieter and into the radio on her collar, "I have them two-way now. I don't know for how long, though."

She didn't even get a response. Instead, Ashley was hailing the admiral. { _Anderson, we got you for a minute. Status?_ }

{ _We're headed to the spaceport on the water_ ,} he said, huffing now. Clearly, they were running. { _ETA three minutes._ }

{ _We made it to the Normandy, taking heavy fire, but nothing Joker can't handle. I- Oh God! They're gonna take down that dreadnought! Evasive maneuvers!_ }

Shepard's voice cut in. { _Oh fuck, we gotta move Anders_ -}

Sam didn't hear any more of Shepard's yelling, as suddenly the ship rocked to the side, sending her sprawling to the floor once more, despite the inertial dampeners having been activated some time ago. _Imagine how bad it would be if they hadn't been, Sammy_. Shepard's grunts and shouts sounded in her ear, the soldier obviously being thrown around. It did mean that they were very close to the two people on the ground, though, if that blast had affected them _and_ the _Normandy_.

Sam was on her feet as soon as the movement of the ship halted enough to allow her, running up to the galaxy map and zooming in on their location. In the 3D holographic representation of Vancouver, she could see the blue blip that marked the _Normandy's_ location. Near it was a ship whose eezo core had clearly been compromised, as it existed as a bright starburst suspended in space. Standing with wide eyes for a minute, Sam only went back to her station when Anderson's voice piped back in through her console's speaker.

{ _Normandy! We're going to reroute! Do you copy?_ }

"Yes, we do, but you can't hear me because of this _bloody_ virus they introduced into the damn _server_!" Sam shouted out loud, actually hitting the side of her console. "The only reason it hasn't taken out our communications entirely is because I think our VI is actually an AI and is combating it even while taking care of other systems! No other VI is this damn _smart_!"

Her Outer Narrator had now officially turned into her Useless, Angry Shouter. One more step, and Sam would be muttering to herself in a corner about how the code just wouldn't behave. It had happened once before, in university. Her ex, Penelope, had had to email her professor on her behalf to ask for a few more days on the assignment on medical grounds.

Penelope had been taken on Horizon by the Collectors; she was dead now. As would everyone else be, soon, if they didn't get _out of here_. Sam had no time to go the loony route. So she embraced her anger, funneling it into hyper-focus, tuning out the conversation over the radio and turning her attention to eradicating the virus.

After a minute or so, she had news for Ashley. "Ashley," she said, activating her comms. "They're by a downed gunship in the harbor. They're activating its radio. I lost their location with the explosion, but that radio _should_ have a distress beacon. It… there, I have their location. We're only a minute away."

{ _On it_ ,} came Joker's voice.

It was clear moments later that Anderson and Shepard were in the middle of an intense firefight. Sam couldn't help but to look up at the galaxy map, watching the _Normandy_ fly in on the blinking light that was the emergency beacon.

She actually rolled her eyes at Joker's, "The cavalry has arrived!" But she couldn't deny that it looked rather dramatic on the galaxy map display as they swooped in and fired on the Reaper ground units…

Not even a second later, Ashley and the hulking marine were sprinting past her, accessing the lift and rushing inside. Ashley made eye contact with Sam just as the doors swished closed. Sam couldn't help the sinking feeling in her gut as her fiancée's face disappeared. Something was telling her she wouldn't see Ashley again for quite some time.

But that made no sense. She was right there.

Minutes later, they were headed out of the atmosphere, leaving their home behind.

 _Earth. The birthplace of my parents._ _We… we need to get it back_.


	5. Prepping for Mars

**Ashley**

_Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now, and at the hour of our death._

Ashley didn't even purposefully think of it, but it came to mind as they exited atmo. Given everything she'd just seen… it seemed apt, if nothing else. A prayer for those who lived, and for those who died. It was also the second half of the Hail Mary, and they could certainly use a fucking Hail Mary save at this moment.

"What the hell's goin' on? Where's Anderson? Where are we goin'?"

Ashley looked up from the door to the lift. She'd just been about to go back up to the CIC and check on Sam, now that they had Shepard, but Vega's query stopped her. He was indignant. And Shepard wasn't answering him.

Finally, Vega impatience won and he shouted, "Hey!"

Shepard looked back and said simply, "We're leaving."

"Leaving?!"

"What's going on, ma'am?" Ashley said, leaving the lift and walking over to look over the commander's shoulder. She may have issues with Shepard, but Anderson had reinstated the woman before her very eyes. This was now her CO again, and they were in the middle of the invasion of the Reapers. She wasn't gonna split hairs, not now, not when it came to her job. She'd follow orders. _At least until mutiny seems like a better option…_

"Anderson wants us to go to the Citadel, Ash," Shepard explained, pulling up a holographic screen on the console in front of her. "We need to get help for the fight."

"Bullshit!" Vega countered, getting Shepard's attention. Ashley almost reflexively reached out to stop him, then thought better of it. Let him learn what a Shepard tongue-lashing was like on his own. "He wouldn't order us to leave!"

"I was there, Lieutenant. I know what he said. And he's right. We don't have a choice." Shepard sounded… tired. Resigned. Frustrated? Ashley wasn't sure _what_ she heard in the woman's voice. "Without help, this war's already over."

"Forget it," Vega said, his eyes hard and his voice harder. "Drop me off someplace, 'cuz I-"

That did it. The Wrath of Shepard awakened, if only briefly. "Enough!" Shepard shouted, grabbing his shoulder and shoving him hard, walking with him until his back was pressed firmly against the wall. "Don't you think _I'd_ rather stay and fight, too?" They were quiet for a minute, holding each other's gazes. Finally, she let go of him, flapping her hand as if to get him out of her face. "We're going to the Citadel. You want out? You can catch a damn ride back from there. Good luck."

With a similar gesture, Vega shook his head and stomped off, not even catching Ashley's gaze as he headed to his precious weapon's bench. Ashley couldn't blame him. She used to be a gunnery chief. She knew the comfort that was fieldstripping and cleaning weapons, modding them, and putting them back together for each member of the ground crew. There was something meditative about it.

{ _Ashley._ }

 _Sam? Right, she can hack directly into my omnitool_. _Good to know she's not on the channel with everyone else._ "What's up, babe?" Ashley asked aloud, though softly, turning around to keep the conversation as private as possible.

{ _I've got a message for Shepard. I think her earbud is damaged, and she has no omnitool, so I can't contact her directly. You should get her a new one and an omnitool as soon as possible._ }

"Got it. You said you had a message?"

{ _Yes. Joker should have patched it through down there already._ }

"Gotcha. Thanks. And… baby?"

{ _Hmm?_ }

"I'm really glad you're okay. And… I'm just… Mom, my sisters..."

{ _I know. But hope isn't lost. You're here, Shepard's here. We'll get them back._ }

Ashley smiled. "You bet your ass we will, Sam. I'll come by soon. Shepard's waving me over."

{ _All right. I… I love you, Ashley_.}

Ashley smiled. "I love you, too, Sammy. And just as soon as we can, I am gonna marry the _crap_ outta you."

Closing her omnitool on Sam's nervous yet giddy giggle, she went over next to Shepard.

"Who was that?" Shepard asked, her expression showing her intense curiosity… and the beginning of some serious ribbing, if Ashley knew her at all.

Ashley just shook her head. Now wasn't the time to catch up, and she wasn't ready to take up their friendship without some serious talking. "I'll tell you later. What's this communication?"

Shepard's features immediately schooled. "Liara's on Mars. We have to go get her. She's found some weapon or something in the Prothean archives. We need her and that intel before we completely lose the system to the Reapers."

Ashley blinked a moment, then laid a hand on Shepard's shoulder. She could see the worry in the lines around the woman's eyes. "We'll get her, Miriam," she said softly. She felt betrayed, yes, but Ashley was anything but heartless. Shepard may have done it through Cerberus, but she'd still pulled off a miracle defeating the Collectors. Ashley just really wished Shepard had done it with the Alliance. She would have dropped everything to transfer into Miriam's service for that suicide mission if the commander hadn't been taking Cerberus's blood money to do it. Ashley's feelings were just… so fucking jumbled, confused. But she still cared about the commander, and she knew how Miriam felt about Liara – similarly to how Ashley felt for Sam.

And now they had to rescue the asari before the Reapers got there. Ashley would be out of her mind with worry. Thank God her fiancée was on this ship with her. This ship was probably the safest place in the whole goddamn galaxy.

Shepard nodded, her expression showing her gratitude for Ashley's understanding of all the nuances going on. "Grab your gear!" she yelled over to Vega. "We're on the shuttle in five."

"Do _you_ have gear, Shepard?" Ashley asked, already unzipping her jacket as they headed over to the lockers.

Shepard shook her head. "Not the usual. But you have an extra, yeah? I'm not that much shorter than you. A few adjustments and I'm good."

Ash frowned as she stripped down to her underwear and immediately put her hair into its bun. _Goodbye, days of getting to walk through the halls with my hair down_. Non-deployment had its benefits. "My armor is way heavier than yours, Miriam."

Shepard shrugged. "It's what's available. I'll manage. Just won't be able to do any acrobatics," she finished with a slight smile.

Ashley chuckled as she pulled on her compression suit. In addition to slowing the progress of fast-moving objects like bullets or blades, it was designed to keep her body under the right kind of pressure without a gas suit. The only part of the armor with air was the helmet. Far safer for combat situations, even if it was more costly with all the custom fit required.

Looking at her ring, so pretty on her finger, fitting so nicely, the lieutenant-commander sighed, slipping it off. She put it in her locker next to her father's rosary that she kept near her arms and armor as a sort of good luck charm. But the thing glinted in the lights of the shuttle bay, forcing Ashley to reconsider. Staring at it a moment, she finally grabbed it, took off her dog tags, and slipped the ring on the chain. Re-affixing it around her neck, she continued with her armor, this promise from – and to – Sam now lying next to her heart.

As she pulled on the thin mesh under-armor, she studied Shepard. The commander was already in her mesh, now working on adjusting the armor pads that she would attach over it. It seemed Shepard did not notice Ashley's hesitation over a simple piece of jewelry. Good. It still just wasn't time to catch up, to tell her friend about her engagement.

Ashley wasn't sure she was ready to be Shepard's friend just yet, anyway. Clearly the higher-ups had decided Shepard hadn't committed so heinous a crime. But this was about more than duty to Ashley. It had been a personal affront to the LC, and she wasn't ready to just drop it yet. Not without talking it out. A lot.

Snapping her armor plating into place, she reached for her weapons pack. Checking the weapons briefly, she slid it into place over her air filter and oxygen supply before grabbing her helmet and snapping it into place. She checked the seals, brought up her heads-up display, and secured her omnitool for battle. Who knew what they'd run into down there? But at least there was hardly any atmosphere on the planet. Could Reaper forces fight if they couldn't breathe? What _did_ they breathe? Were they even technically alive?

It was unimportant. All that mattered was that _Ashley_ could breathe. And she could. Bonking Shepard and Vega over the head as she passed – a good-luck ritual she'd taken from football players of old – she was in the shuttle and ready to go. Beating them both.

{ _We're ready to drop you, Shepard,_ } came Joker's voice over her radio.

"Got it, Joker. We'll be up and out in just a minute here," Shepard responded, her helmeted her pointing toward the omnitool she was adjusting on her wrist. Stepping into the shuttle behind Vega, she shut the door behind her.

A sinking feeling settled in Ashley's stomach. Why did she feel the door was somehow sealing her fate? She wished she could've held Sam a little longer before duty had called.

But this was how it had to be. They had to get whatever edge they could against the Reapers. And they had to get Blue off that rock. Ashley didn't ever want to leave a friend behind again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a quick note. I decided to make Ashley Catholic. I wanted to actually pay attention to the fact that they made her religious. And Catholicism, while not native to me, is what I have the most experience with when it comes to religion. I also loved the image of such an old religion being carried so far out into space.


	6. Mars

**Samantha**

Now that she knew Ashley was safe, Samantha's thoughts turned to her family. Her mother, father, and her brother Richard were on Horizon, thank the Lord. Timothy, Richard's twin, was at Grissom Academy, making it into their accelerated engineering program while also going through military training. It was a new pilot program, the first time one got a college education _while_ receiving their military training, and he was in the first year of students accepted. Everyone had been so proud of him. She should… she should check on Grissom, see that everything was all right. It was full of students who may not have anywhere to go with Earth taken…

Ashley's mum had been on Earth, as well as two of her sisters. Were they okay? Would Ash be able to get a hold of them to find out? Would she be able to let her family know she'd made it off planet? One of her sisters had just gotten married; was in fact on her honeymoon. Sam had accompanied Ash to the wedding in Taiwan the week before. It had been lovely, and Sam _loved_ seeing Ashley with her sisters. The girl's husband was a soldier. They'd probably be recalled so he could fight. What would Sarah do? Where would she go?

Samantha's heart was threatening to beat right out of her chest. She needed to calm down. Reaching to the top of her display, she contacted a friend. "Joker, what do I do? I've never served active-duty before."

{ _Kinda busy here, Sam._ }

She frowned. "I know you're busy. I want to help. I need something to do. I'm going crazy."

{ _Just hold tight-_ }

"Joker," she interrupted, feeling the tears in the back of her throat as a lump the size of a grapefruit. "Joker, my fiancée is Ashley Williams and she is going down onto that planet armed for battle and there are Reaper forces headed this way and we are racing the clock and _I need something to do so that I do not go insane_."

There was a pause, then, { _Shiiiiiiiiiiiit. Okay. There's a dust storm headed this way. We're going to lose comms at some point. Pull out all your tricks to keep us in touch. It's the best I got, Sam. Until you have a commanding officer, that's all I got._ }

Samantha nodded. "I can work with that. Patching in to their comms right now."

{ _That's the spirit. I've seen her get through a lot, Sam. Her_ _ **and**_ _Shepard. She'll be fine._ }

"Thanks, Joker."

She affixed the radio bud to her ear, patching in Ashley, James ( _That's his name!_ ), and Shepard's new signal. She didn't say anything. She knew enough to know that unless she had something to add or some warning to give that it was not appropriate to hold up the comm line with chatter. Shepard didn't even know who Sam was.

This was all so odd. The ship had been in the air for all of five minutes before they were sent to do something. There'd been no time to assign duties, no time to set up a chain of command. Hell, Ashley, Shepard, and James were the only people on the ship who were even trained for ground combat. Everyone else on this ship were techy geeks who were there as part of the retrofitting team. But it didn't matter. They simply had to throw themselves in and _go_. A job had to be done, and they'd been ordered to do it.

Samantha's thoughts were pulled out of herself at her lover's voice.

{ _Well, they know we're here now!_ }

"Oh shit, is that… _gunfire_?" Sam whispered, horrified at the sounds she was hearing. She had only heard gunfire in a combat situation once before, had indeed only _been_ in a combat situation once before: when Ashley shot down a Collector drone in her parents' house on Horizon. And it was only one creature that died, and it wasn't even human. Now, though, Sam could hear bullets chewing through the Martian landscape. She could hear the grunts of all three soldiers on the ground. She could especially hear Ashley, hear noises she never thought she'd hear issue from her lover's mouth, grunts of discomfort, a shout of triumph, a quick prayer to her God for her soul, for the lives she was taking.

"EDI," Sam said, furrowing her brows in worry at the sounds she heard.

"Yes, Specialist Traynor?"

"I know the storm headed in will cut out our communications. But in the meantime, shouldn't I be able to access their helmet cameras?"

"That is correct, though per Alliance protocol it is only Commander Shepard's helmet that the specialist observes."

Sam frowned. "So what's wrong? Why can't I see it?"

"We are not receiving signal. It is not Shepard's usual helmet, and she never activated it. However, I can activate the camera from here. Would you like me to do so?"

 _Bloody VI my arse_ … "Yes, EDI. Please do so."

An icon on her console began blinking, and pulling it up, Sam saw a sight that horrified her. A man in armor, white with black and yellow detailing, fell to the ground. Blood spurted out from the space between helmet and chest plate. She could only imagine the sound he made.

Shepard's voice whooped. "Nice one, Ash!"

 _That was Ashley. That's what she's capable of, what she's been trained to do. I… I don't even know what to do with this information. How can someone so soft and lovely and generous with herself be so deadly and efficient in killing?_ Then another thought hit Samantha. _Wait… if that man could be shot by a sharpshooter, then Ashley could be, despite all that armor I know she wears that I've never seen her in…_

She was suddenly incredibly afraid.

But the marines on the ground were not. Sam had missed some of their conversation in her musing, but was pulled back in by Ashley's voice once more.

{ _I need a straight answer, Shepard._ }

Shepard's voice sounded dubious as her helmet cam swung to look right at Ashley. It was… strange, to see her lover like this. { _About what?_ }

{ _Do you know anything about this? What is Cerberus doing here?_ }

 _Oh fuck… that armor. It was Cerberus,_ Sam thought to herself, absently scanning code on a second screen for anything that wasn't right. _Ashley is going to be absolutely livid_.

{ _What makes you think_ _ **I**_ _know what they're up to?_ } Perhaps Sam was imagining it, but she could have sworn that Shepard was very careful and… _deliberate_ with that answer.

"C'mon Ashley, now is _not the time_ ," Sam whispered, knowing she would not be overheard by those on the ground until she hit the command on her console to transmit.

{ _You worked for them. How am I supposed to believe you cut all ties?_ }

Sam could almost swear she heard Shepard's irritation. { _I was never_ _ **with**_ _Cerberus, Williams._ } Sam did not miss how it had gone from "Ash" to "Williams."{ _It was a temporary alliance that I was_ _ **glad**_ _to be done with once I took out the Collector base. I haven't talked to anyone affiliated with them since, nor would I should they try._ }

{ _It's true, Ash,_ } James chimed in. { _Shepard was under lock and key the whole time she was Earth. I was her regular guard. No communications in or out, no omnitool, and she was debriefed extensively. She's clean, they just needed to look they were doing something for the Batarians._ }

Ashley only gave a noncommittal hum.

{ _Cut the chatter,_ } Shepard snapped suddenly. { _I_ _hear something_.}

Sam hadn't heard anything, but she admitted to herself she was fully engrossed in the conversation. She could read Ashley's defensive body language on her screen, and knew from her tone that Ashley was not convinced. But they were in the middle of a ground mission, and the lieutenant-commander merely lifted her sniper rifle and walked forward as Shepard's helmet cam swung around once more.

With the three of them quiet, Sam could hear the metallic racket Shepard must have heard. _What on earth could that be_? Sam asked herself, peering intently at the view from the camera now. _Are those shots from a rifle? Who's shooting?_

Suddenly a ventilation grate burst outward, a blue and white figure following after it. The figure jumped to the ground, turned, and some kind of blue fire flew from the figure toward the opening to the ventilation shaft. Caught in mid-air were two white, black, and yellow-adorned Cerberus soldiers. Shots rang out, and the men were dead. The blue fire extinguished, and the figure on the ground – an asari, by the looks of her – walked up to the dead men, aiming her pistol and ensuring their deaths.

_Oh shit. I've officially seen an asari's biotics for the first time…_

Shepard's helmet began moving, her arm shooting out to lower a rifle just barely in the camera's view. { _Easy there, lieutenant. She's with us._ }

Shepard sounded… happy? Excited? It was tempered by some slight nervousness. A quick glance at the crew's vitals showed a sharp increase in the commander's heart rate.

{ _Shepard? Thank the Goddess!_ } the asari shouted in relief as she turned, dropping her pistol as she broke into a run. Samantha watched as the blue-skinned woman adorned in a white lab coat came running for her, and then her arms were around Shepard's neck, Sam's view mostly obscured.

{ _I'm here, Liara_ } she heard Shepard murmur.

 _This must be Doctor T'Soni_ , Sam thought. _Ashley mentioned their relationship. Clearly it's alive and well._

She listened as they discussed the device Liara had uncovered. It was interesting, but what was _very_ interesting to Samantha was the little interactions she saw. Ashley and Dr. T'Soni hugged, clearly were friendly with each other. But whenever Ashley came into view she held herself defensively. Clearly, the woman was still in a hostile place regarding her once-best friend.

Shepard and Liara, on the other hand, were a hot mess of awkward. Their tones were… stilted. Their movements were not of familiar lovers but rather of people who did not know where they stood with each other. They spoke of Cerberus and the device, yes, but underneath was an unspoken conversation about their relationship and whether or not it would continue. It was _utterly_ fascinating.

Suddenly James was being sent away to the shuttle, very much against his wishes, and the three women left in the Archive building were headed to the door, where it was clear Cerberus soldiers were attempting to hack their way in.

{ _We've got company,_ } Shepard said, lifting a pair of SMGs from the holsters on her hip. { _Let's do what we do best, ladies_.}


	7. The Things Ashley Hates

**Ashley**

Ashley Williams hated few things. Cerberus was near the top of that list, as were mushrooms and light beer. But this _fucking_ turret had jumped _straight_ to the top of that list. Gathering herself together, she leapt out from behind the storage container she'd been using as cover, allowing Shepard to use it next. With a sound that was more than a grunt but less than a yell she rolled forward, finding her feet and taking three running steps until she was behind her next bit of cover. The whole time there were bullets chewing up the floor behind her. If Sam could still hear all this, she was probably wetting her pants.

"I'm sorry, Samantha," she huffed in a whisper, gathering her breath before the final push. "I never wanted you to see what it is we go through on the ground, baby." She'd heard of non-coms losing their minds with worry. And if Sam had been down here in the midst of this? She knew she'd lose her mind.

Launching herself again, Ashley rolled, coming up on her feet and running the rest of the way out of the reach of that fucking turret. A few more seconds and Shepard joined her, and a minute after that Liara did, as well. All three of them were unscathed, though breathing hard. Ash could see Shepard's eyes wide, the pupils dilated – a sure sign she was high on adrenaline. The LC had seen it often enough to recognize it.

"C'mon. I see more fuckers in there," Shepard growled, unclasping both submachine guns she kept at her hip and running for the door. She was ready to lay down some fucking damage.

Ashley just grinned, pulling her assault rifle off her back. "Now that's what I'm talking about!"

They ran in with guns blazing. There were probably seven or eight guys in here, but they all fell rather quickly. Ashley was most amazed at the cold efficiency in Liara, however. They hadn't spoken in quite a while, having fallen out of contact maybe a year after the first _Normandy's_ destruction. She had sensed a change in the asari in that time, but only so much can come out in emails and the occasional voice call. Now that they were here, in person, Ashley was astonished. The once-shy archeologist was killing with abandon, her mind clearly one step ahead of the people she was shooting at.

The asari made this abundantly clear when as she walked past the last dying man, aiming her pistol at him and shooting even as she reached for the console controls, shutting down the auto-turret. Ashley was… shocked. It would be like watching Sam turn into a ruthless, efficient killer. It was a complete mind-fuck, and even in the heat of the fight, Ashley was having a difficult time ridding herself of the cognitive dissonance that was her memory of Liara versus the reality of Liara now.

"They've made it to the Archives," the asari said. Ashley shook herself of her shock, watching as the security footage died.

The lieutenant-commander scowled, memorizing the details of this Eva Coré's face. "And it looks like they won't be sending a tram anytime soon…" she added.

Shepard backed away from the console, shaking her head. "And we can't override it. It's on an entirely separate network. I'm completely locked out. Fuck."

Ashley got an idea. "Not completely," she said, already moving.

Shepard fell in line behind her. "What's up?"

"What if we found a short-range transmitter, helmet-to-helmet? Convince them we're with them, and that we've killed the Alliance forces."

Shepard stopped, nodding. "I like it. See what you can find, I need to check something in here."

Ashley nodded, crossing the rest of the room to the closest dead body. Pulling up her omnitool, she scanned for a radio that was still active.

"Commander! I found something!"

Shepard was with her in just a few seconds. "What've you got?"

She was already leaning, trying to figure out how to unlock the Cerberus soldier's helmet. "He's got a functioning radio in his helmet. If I could just-"

She was cut off by a venting noise, the clear section of the helmet sliding away to reveal-

"Oh God!" Ashley gasped, swallowing to control the urge to vomit. "He… he looks like a husk!"

Shepard just nodded, leaning over to fish out the radio. "Yeah. Not quite, but they've definitely done something to him."

"They claim to stand for humanity, but then they do _this_ to their own people?!" Ashley frowned, watching as Shepard calmly stood back up with the radio in-hand. "Don't you see? That could've been you, Miriam. For all I knew, that's what Cerberus had done to you when they saved you or whatever happened."

Shepard scowled. Ashley couldn't see her whole face, but she could see her eyes, and that was enough. "How can you compare me to that thing?"

Ashley was beyond frustrated, adrenaline still pumping through her veins. She'd been through a lot of shit today. The last twenty-four hours had been a fucking emotional rollercoaster, her engagement the night before followed by the Reapers' invasion of Earth this morning. Hell, it had probably only been about _twelve_ hours. Her mother and sisters had been on Earth, and she had no idea how they fared. There was only so much she could hold back for the sake of "we should talk about this later."

"I don't know what to think, Miriam! Not since they got their hands on you. Is it really you? Would you even know if they were controlling you somehow? Indoctrinated people don't know when they're indoctrinated. What if they did that to you, then let you loose to the Alliance?"

Shepard just sighed, her tone defeated. "That's not fair, Ash. And you know it."

Ashley shook her head, deflating. "I… I'm just talking out loud. This whole shit-show is a lot to take in, especially when last night… Look, I don't need you to answer. I honestly doubt there's anything you could say to convince me right now. I just… need some time, to get to know you again, to see that you're the same Miriam who I lost three years ago."

Shepard marched closer, her hand coming to rest on Ashley's shoulder, her eyes catching Ashley's. "I'm the same person I always was, Ash. Time won't change that. But if that's what you need, then all right. When things slow down a bit, we can try to talk. We can air it all out, and see if we can still work together."

Ashley nodded, seeing her old friend in those sparkling blue eyes staring back at her through the faceplates of their helmets. "Yeah, okay."

Shepard gave a curt nod. "Okay. So. Let's go kick some ass and take some names, yeah?"

Ashley grinned, pulling her sniper from her back. "Let's."

* * *

The door opened into a cavernous room. The room itself didn't have much going on, an inner and outer circular walkway dominating. But in the center was familiar-looking technology, obviously Prothean. Ashley was suddenly transported back to the beacon on Eden Prime, watching the excavation team carefully extract the thing from the ground. She'd only been on the planet a couple of days, a glorified guard job that she was way over-qualified for. It was her name, and not her credentials, that put her on that rock, and she had been both resentful and out to prove herself.

 _I sure did prove myself_ _,_ she thought darkly, looking down the barrel of her assault rifle toward the right, clearing the room with Shepard. _I was the only one to survive. Didn't even have any time to get to know anyone before my credentials were put to the test._

"I can access the data from there," Liara said, pulling Ashley out of her past. Watching the asari walk boldly up to a console in front of the towering, glowing Prothean data trove, she expected to be transported to the past once more, but it didn't happen. Prothean artifacts and Liara together was certainly familiar, but this new Liara was not the same. There was no wonder in her voice, no awe at the Protheans or this artifact. There was only cold, calculating data-retrieval, and Ashley found it disconcerting to no end.

"Ashley, walk a perimeter, make sure we don't have any company," Shepard said.

She nodded. "You got it, Commander."

Starting around the side of the room, she was startled when she heard them both speaking to someone. Turning, she saw Liara with a gun pointed into the face of… a hologram.

{ _Illusive Man_ _,_ } the asari almost spat, furthering Ashley's discomfort.

 _I don't know that woman at_ _ **all**_ _anymore…_ she thought.

Turning, she continued her perimeter clearing. They hadn't found Eva Coré yet, alive or dead, and Ashley would not be surprised if they found her squirreled away somewhere in this giant room. The hologram was no threat, and besides that, Liara and Shepard had it under control. She'd been given an order, and she would follow it. The rest of this room might seem simple, but she could already see a place where someone might be hiding, and she was determined to find that sleeper agent who had turned this whole place of learning and inquisitive minds into a giant shit-show.

Just as she approached the structure on the opposite side of the room, Liara's voice sounded panicked in her ear. { _Miriam, the data is not here! It's a local download and wipe… it is still in this room, more than likely._ }

Ashley rounded the corner and found the woman she'd been hoping to find at last. "Hey, back up!" she shouted, but Dr. Coré wouldn't move. "Commander, I've got- ah!"

Coré burst into action, pushing Ashley's rifle aside as her foot came up, catching the LC in the chest. All Ashley could think as she exploded backward, landing on her ass and sliding all the way to the railing, was that the thin woman packed one _hell_ of a punch. Halting, she sprang to her feet as fast as she could, feeling the area directly under her breasts already sore. She would be bruised later. _Shit, she got me that good through my_ _armor_ _. My armor, which can slow the movement of a bullet. She's not_ _human_ _._

 _{_ _Don't lose her!_ _}_ Shepard yelled into their radios. Snatching up her rifle, Ashley was after the group. Shepard was in the lead, of course, as she'd been right next to the door. But Ashley was fast, and she had a personal little score to settle with that bitch, kicking her right in the chest. She had to return the damn favor.

Ashley didn't dare let off any gunfire as she ran for fear of hitting either Shepard or Liara, who wasn't even armored. Her biotic barrier could protect her in the thin atmosphere for a time, and against bullets, but it required constant energy from the asari, and while she was quite powerful, even _her_ energy reserves were not bottomless, meaning there was the very real risk she could be shot and killed by friendly fire. Instead she merely ran, keeping all three women in front of her in her sights. She was gaining on them, but cursed the need to climb the ladder that was quickly coming up.

Making the split-second decision to stow her assault rifle rather than being slowed by climbing one-handed, she mounted the ladder, climbing as fast as she could. Getting to the top, she saw a Cerberus shuttle lowering, Eva Coré running full-speed for it.

" _Normandy_! James! Anybody!" Shepard yelled, but it was too late. Ashley watched as the woman they were chasing took a running leap, landing perfectly inside the shuttle, turning as she landed to look back at them. The lieutenant-commander couldn't read her expression, of course, but she could have sworn the woman was gloating as the shuttle door closed and the vessel began to rise.

 _{_ _I got this one!_ _}_ Vega's voice suddenly piped up in their radios. _We must have comms back._ Looking around, Ashley confirmed that the storm had blown itself out. In flew the Normandy's shuttle, and Ashley turned her head, watching as James piloted the shuttle directly for the small Cerberus vessel.

"Holy shit, he's gonna-!" Ashley did not have the chance to finish her exclamation before Vega rammed right into the Cerberus shuttle. Flames spurting, the shuttle came down… headed right for herself, Shepard, and Liara.

"Move!" Ashley shouted, running and tackling Liara, covering her unarmored body with her own.

Fire and smoke passed overhead, but it moved far enough away that they were relatively safe. Pushing herself up, Ashley looked over to see Shepard waving James over. Finding her feet, she helped Liara up, apologizing that she had landed on top of her with so much heavy equipment on. Wrapping her arm around the asari's waist, she helped her to limp toward the downed shuttle.

"We need that data," Liara almost pleaded.

"Gotcha, doc. We'll get you in there and-"

Out of the flames rose Dr. Eva Coré. Her skin seemed to be melting off, revealing a cybernetic body beneath. _No wonder she packed such a wallop. She's some kind of mech_ _._ Shoving Liara away and pulling her pistol, Ashley was able to fire three shots before the mech was on her.

"Ah!" she yelled, her wrist breaking as the pistol was knocked from her hand. Then her vision was filled by the cybernetic hand, and she felt tremendous pain in her neck as her feet left the ground. She could barely breathe, and kicking with her feet at the mech only worsened the pressure at the back of her skull. Wrapping her uninjured hand around the mechanical wrist, she engaged her muscles, relieving some of the pressure. It would have been painful enough to have all of her weight hanging by her neck, but the added weight of her armor meant her neck could snap at any moment.

"Orders?" she heard the mech say, it's feminine voice hard and completely devoid of emotion.

Ashley still couldn't see. Her HUD was going haywire, Coré's fingers strong enough to crack and bend the casing of her helmet. Her arm was tiring after the strain of the day, of holding her rifle, of taking the recoil on her sniper, of holding up Sam the night before while they made love multiple times. If she didn't do something soon, she wouldn't be able to relieve the pressure anymore and her neck would snap from the weight.

Maybe if she kicked at the joint of the hips just right? Swinging her legs back, Ashley was just about to kick out with both feet when she felt the mech pull her back by the helmet.

Then she was moving backwards, and a great, searing pain exploded at the back of her skull, black rising up and swallowing her down.

The last thing she heard was Sam's voice screaming through her radio.


	8. Sam's Worst Nightmare

**Samantha**

They had lost communications with the ground team some time ago. In an effort to do something and keep herself grounded, Samantha was now sitting in the copilot's seat, having routed the comms to that terminal. Not that the comms were giving her anything but the occasional blip of voice right now.

"Anything, Sam?"

Samantha looked up and over to Joker. Her mind had been buried three hundred miles inside the holographic screens in front of her, studying code, trying to find a way through the interference from the storm. She knew it was futile, but it was a problem in which she could become enmired, which was exactly what she needed in order to avoid worrying her pretty little head off about Ashley.

"Sam? Samantha Traynor!" Joker said sharply, snapping at her. "Earth to Sam! We got anything?"

Shaking her head, Samantha closed the window she'd been knee-deep in. "Not really. The occasional half a word here and there, but nothing…"

She trailed off as an alert popped up off to the side. Pulling it up, she saw that it was video footage from Shepard's camera. It was grainy, as the storm was only just past the area, and there was no audio, but at least she could see what was going on down there.

Looking closely, Sam saw a woman running, taking a leap and landing in a shuttle. "Joker! I have video! We need to get down there!"

"On it," he said, having watched over her shoulder. "Who do you think that chick is? Think she has something we need?"

Sam nodded. "Privileged information I can't disclose. But it's important. It's why Dr. T'Soni was here."

"Rog," Joker said with a nod. "Liara _would_ be here. _Nerd_. Total hard-on for anything Prothean."

 _They were friends_ , Sam realized, blinking over at him.

"Sorry," he said, his ears growing a little pink. "Not used to having anyone up here to hear me."

Sam snorted. "Joker, I have twin teenage brothers and have spent the last four years around salty marines. It will take a _lot_ more than that to make me blush, and even more to make me stomp out screaming 'misogyny'."

He chuckled. "Sounds like a challenge, Sam."

"I'm up to it if you are."

Her attention was caught once more by the camera. It jumped to the side, obviously falling to the ground, turning sharply to watch the burning Cerberus shuttle land not too far away. The camera rose off the ground, looking over to see Ashley helping Dr. T'Soni to her feet. Sam still didn't have a lot of sound, but the frequency of blips was increasing. She could hear the tones of individual voices, but no full words just yet.

Hitting the command, she tried contacting them. "Commander?"

Nothing.

"Commander, this is Communications Specialist Samantha-"

A figure emerged from the flames in the shuttle. Melting skin revealed the figure to be a mech, though definitely feminine in form. Samantha's stomach dropped as she watched the figure jump through the flames, running right for Ashley and Dr. T'Soni. Ashley shoved the asari to the side, pulling her pistol in the same move and firing three times before the mech's hand shot out, knocking the pistol away.

"No! Ashley! No!" Sam yelled, standing up in her panic. Ashley dangled in the air, held aloft by her helmet – held aloft _by her head_. She was still alive, struggling, one hand grabbing at the mech's wrist.

{ _ASHLEY!_ } Shepard's voice rang clearly through Sam's earbud. Typing frantically, Samantha finally broke through the rest of the interference, glancing up to see the mech rearing back, Ashley dangling from its hand like a cat caught by the ruff of its neck.

Samantha's scream was guttural, barely intelligible, and unbeknownst to her, broadcasted to everyone on the ground. "NO! Ashley!"

"Sam, no, wait!" She disregarded Joker, catching herself as she tripped trying to get around her seat. The last thing she saw was the _Normandy_ in Shepard's sights, the mech falling from the commander's gunfire. She had to get to Ashley. That was all that mattered.

She ran through the CIC, ignoring her fellow retrofitters as she headed straight for the lift. They would be coming in through the shuttle bay, but would likely head for the medbay. Maybe, if she made it before them…

She stopped in front of the lift, ramming her hand far too hard on the holographic call button.

"I am sorry, Specialist Traynor," EDI's voice sounded in her earbud. "The elevator is occupied by Commander Shepard, Lieutenant Vega, and Doctor T'Soni. It will be available in just a moment."

All Samantha could see was Ashley slamming into the side of that burning shuttle. "EDI, I can't…"

"I am sorry, Specialist Traynor," EDI repeated. If Sam wasn't so distracted, she might have detected sympathy in the synthetic voice, but as it was she waited impatiently for the lift to come, unhearing, knowing that no matter how long she had to wait it would be faster than trying to go through the security screen and climb down the duct in the conference room.

Finally, _finally_ , the elevator opened, and Samantha was through it and jamming both hands onto the controls to take her a level down before the door was even completely open.

"Oh my _God_ , why won't this bloody thing _move_!" Samantha half-shouted. Finally it did, the doors closing and the metal box she stood in moving down. Sam tapped her foot impatiently at the door, only able to see one thing in her mind's eye: Ashley groping uselessly with one hand while her whole body dangled like a ragdoll from her head. Sam shuddered. _I need to see her. She has to be all right. I can't… she just_ _ **has**_ _to be all right!_

The doors opened, and she was out, flinging herself around the corner and running for the medbay. The windows were transparent, but she couldn't make sense of what she saw. Just as she turned the corner, Shepard and Liara both went running through the doors, passing her without thought on their way for the lift. Looking back, Sam's vision filled with grey and blue, her air knocked from her lungs as what felt like a baseball bat slammed right into her diaphragm.

"Oof!"

"Calm down," James's strangely melodic voice sounded, originating somewhere above her.

She clawed at what she now knew to be his arm around her middle, stopping her from entering the medbay, whose doors were now closed. She had barely gotten a glimpse of Ashley's blue armor. "Let me go!"

His grip only strengthened, and then she was moving backwards, the marine's mountainous frame still filling her view. "I can't let anyone in there, Samantha. Commander's orders."

"Let me go!" she repeated, struggling harder, but to no avail. Finally, she stopped, and he let her go near a table.

Pointing, he said, "Sit."

Her brain and nerves far too frazzled, she obeyed, her arse making contact with the bench as she frowned. "How do you even remember my name?"

"We met drinking that one time, remember? Then Ash was talking about you this morning. I'm James, in case you forgot." She opened her mouth to speak, also trying to look around his large frame, but he put a finger in her face. She _hated_ when people did that. "No one can go in there, Samantha. She's in critical condition, her suit locked up to prevent her from moving. I can't let you in there. _I_ can't even go in there."

Her heart finally started beating again. The relief was palpable, but she still needed to _see_ Ashley. "But… she's my…"

He nodded. "Your fiancée, I know. But Samantha, you gotta listen to me."

She finally stopped trying to see around him, looking up into his face. "What? She's alive. What else is there?"

He frowned. "She's alive, yeah. But Sam… Ashley's neck is broken."


	9. The Hospital

**Samantha**

Samantha felt absolutely wretched. Landing on the Citadel had been a blur, James staying with her in the mess so she could at least look at Ashley through the windows of the medbay. It was not a comforting sight, however: the armor was locked in an unnatural position so that nothing would move.

Then suddenly she was being led to the hospital, James with her, still in his armor, moving the crowds for her, getting her into a seat in the lobby. But they wouldn't let her past the doors yet, as Ashley was in surgery. Now James was gone, having to report to the _Normandy_ for something. He left her in the lobby, awaiting news of her fiancée.

Looking up now, she saw Commander Shepard walk in, and shrunk in on herself, looking away again very quickly. Sam was not willing to face her commander right now. She'd broken protocol spectacularly by screaming Ashley's name into the comms, and on top of it she was involved with a superior officer. While it wasn't really enforced anymore, it was frowned upon by some, and she didn't know where Shepard stood on such things. Better to just play dumb until she was better able to handle all the things going on at once.

First priority was to ensure that Ashley would be all right. She could handle anything else once that was true.

Sam watched Shepard approach the nurses at Reception, knowing the commander would be denied access and wondering what she would do when Shepard either passed by to leave, or took a seat to wait. But she never had to decide, because Shepard was heading through the door Samantha had been barred from, and it left the specialist confused.

Getting up, she approached the desk. "Excuse me?" she said, getting an asari's attention.

"Yes, can I help you?"

Sam knit her brows. "Yes, I… my fiancée is here. I thought she was in surgery, and that's why they wouldn't let me back there, but I just saw her friend go back with no problems. So… so I'd like to see her, please."

The asari frowned. "Which patient did you wish to see?"

"Lieutenant-Commander Ashley Williams."

Consulting her omnitool, the asari's frown deepened. "I have no one on her file. We just let Commander Shepard in, but she is a Spectre, and Commander Williams's direct superior officer. I'm afraid I can admit no one else until she regains consciousness or a listed family member contacts us."

Samantha tried to retain her poise. "I just proposed yesterday, so I won't be on the list. But I _need_ to see her, I-"

The receptionist merely shook her head, cutting Sam off. "I'm sorry, I really am, but I simply cannot allow non-family in to see patients at this time, not with the invasions of Earth and Palaven and their wounded refugees coming here. You will need to wait. Please, step away from the counter."

"But-"

"Please step away from the counter," the asari repeated. "There are others I need to help."

Samantha felt the tears starting. "Please! Can't you at least tell me how she's doing?!" Her volume had risen, she knew, but she frankly didn't care at this point. "The last thing I was told was that her _neck_ was broken! I don't even know if she lived through the surgery!"

The asari's expression softened. "I'm very sorry, ma'am, but I cannot. No information is to be released on military personnel."

"But _I'm_ military personnel, too!" Sam sobbed, finally surrendering to the tears and burying her face in her hands.

The asari began to step around the counter, but was stopped by a platinum-haired older woman, spry despite her clear age, an Alliance insignia on the shoulder of her uniform. "I will take care of her. Help the next person," the woman announced, and then Sam felt a hand on her shoulder. "You poor dear. What is the matter?"

Her British accent was comforting, and yet it undid Samantha the rest of the way. She burst out sobbing again, imagining it was her mother comforting her, wishing desperately that it _was_ her mother. She was steered to a corner, her face guided to the woman's shoulder, and then comforting arms were resting around her shoulders, the older woman making reassuring noises. Samantha was struck by how the woman did not encourage her to stop crying, rather seeming to encourage her in the opposite endeavor. And Sam took her up on her offer, her body wracked with great sobs for several minutes, letting out the pain and the fear and the panic she had only barely suppressed for the last several hours before the crying finally slowed.

Standing back, she sniffed, taking the tissue offered by the woman whose shoulder she had just soaked with her tears. "I'm so sorry," she started, intending to apologize to a complete stranger who had been so kind, but she was cut off immediately.

"Think nothing of it, dear. I am a physician, and I take grief and bereavement seriously as part of my job, both as a doctor and as a human being. Now, please, tell me what's wrong. You were trying to see someone, I take it?"

Sam nodded, dabbing at her eyes before blowing her nose once more. "My… my fiancée. She was injured as we left Sol, brought in here, and they won't let me see her." She sniffed, rubbing her eyes. "But they let Commander Shepard in, and I just want to _see_ her, but they won't let non-family, and-"

"I see. And what is your name, dear?"

"Samantha Traynor, Doctor."

"And your rank?"

Sam's heart fell. "Com- communications specialist, ma'am." In her fragile state, Sam stated her title, rather than her rank, but the doctor didn't seem to care.

"I see. So that is why you didn't speak with Shepard as she walked in." The woman nodded, a warm smile appearing on her face. "Well, Specialist Traynor, I am Doctor Karin Chakwas, and I will be the doctor aboard the _Normandy_. That makes me your ranking physician, as well as Commander Williams'. And, as it happens, she is an old friend of mine. I take it you are responsible for the lovely ring we found attached to her dog tags?"

Samantha's head reeled. The doctor didn't care about their disparate ranks, even though that put Ashley in charge of her? Her nerves frayed, she just nodded dumbly ( _ **quite**_ _dumbly_ ). "Yes. I… I proposed last night."

Chakwas's eyes turned down in sympathy. "You poor dear. I am sorry to put you through this, but…. can you identify the ring for me? Describe it to me?"

Samantha blinked a few times in confusion. "I… yes. It's white gold, with a few diamonds. I wasn't sure if I should go with something so cliché, but it's her birthstone, so…"

Chakwas smiled, nodded once, and turned. "Right. Come with me, Specialist Traynor. You have just proven without a doubt that you know our Commander Williams."

Her heart hammered into her chest. "Really? You're taking me to her?"

Chakwas turned, a playful smile on her lips. "Indeed, I am, Specialist Traynor. I wouldn't dare get in the way of love, my dear."

The room was bigger than she expected. She didn't spend any time taking in the details, however, as her eyes were immediately drawn to Ashley's form. The sight took her breath away.

"Oh, _Ashley_!" she breathed, rushing forward.

Ashley lay unconscious, her head in a small halo brace. Her armor and compression suit had been cut away, leaving the lieutenant-commander naked under the hospital blankets. Ashley's face was a landscape of bruising, her lips full of broken blood vessels and dried blood obvious around her mouth from a bloody nose. She had a line running under her nose, supplying oxygen. The sheet came up just past her breasts, her arms outside the sheets, holding the bedding down.

Reaching out, Samantha traced her fingers lightly over the contours of her fiancée's arms, feeling the relaxed muscles even as she put her hands where there was obvious bruising, needing to touch it though not knowing why. Her hand came to rest on an encased wrist.

"She had a broken wrist and neck, a couple of fractured ribs, some slight internal bleeding, and a concussion," Dr. Chakwas intoned, reading from Ashley's medical chart.

"Oh God," Samantha gasped quietly, reaching up and laying her hand flat on Ashley's exposed skin, needing to touch her lover, feel that she was warm, alive, healing. The last time she'd seen Ashley in person, she had been standing upright, tall, strong, holding Samantha in her arms and making her feel incredibly safe and secure, grounded in a world that was quickly going to shit. Now here she lay, broken, weak, unconscious.

"I know it's difficult to see," Chakwas continued, coming up next to Ashley on the other side of the bed. "I can honestly say this is the worst she's been injured, and I treated her a fair few times on the original _Normandy_. But, the good news is she will get better, in fact is already doing better. We decreased the intracranial pressure, healed the breaks, and have her on some heavy-duty anti-inflammatory medications."

Samantha furrowed her brows, looking up to the doctor. "You fixed the breaks? Then why the casts?"

Chakwas smiled indulgently. "Because I know Williams, and I do _not_ trust her to take it easy once she wakes up. And since you and I will both be gone aboard the _Normandy_ , this will _force_ her to do so, the stubborn marine that she is."

Samantha chuckled despite herself. Shaking her head, she looked up at the doctor. "Thank you, Doctor Chakwas. I don't… I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't happened along."

The doctor smiled. "Think nothing of it, dear. I will leave you here, so that you may say or do whatever you must privately. Let me know should you need something."

With that, Chakwas was gone, and Sam was alone with her fiancée.


	10. The Storm Has Passed

**Samantha**

James was waiting for Samantha the moment she arrived back at the ship. She had stopped by the Alliance requisitions office on the Citadel, grabbing some much-needed supplies – including extra uniforms and a spare pair of boots – on her way back to the _Normandy_. She also checked with Alliance HQ on the station, where she was informed she would be staying aboard the _Normandy_ , in addition to the rest of the retrofit team. They'd even picked up some extra crewmen, which would help a great deal, as most stations on board needed to be staffed at all times, and they barely had enough to staff the ship for just one shift. Nevermind that plenty of them were like Samantha and had never actually _served_ on a ship before.

James took the duffel bag she'd been handed with her supplies as she stepped out of decontamination and onto the ship. "Hey, Sam. Did you see her?"

Samantha smiled, allowing him to carry her things. _Such a gentleman_. "Yes, I did. It was touch and go for a moment there, but our new doctor found me and snuck me in."

He frowned. "They weren't gonna let you in? But Shepard got in."

She shook her head. "I'm not on any lists, and I'm not her direct superior. Nor am I a Spectre. Lots of things going for Shepard I don't have."

He rubbed his hand over the back of his neck. "Yeah, I guess you have a point. So… how'd you get in, then?"

Samantha smiled sheepishly. "Doctor Chakwas let me sob on her shoulder and then asked me a few questions to determine I was who I claimed to be, then just walked me right in."

He smiled. "I just met her. Seems like good people. And _muy bonita_ for an old broad, too."

Samantha grinned. "You know, I couldn't agree more."

He chuckled for a moment before his expression turned… worried? She wasn't sure what she saw there. "Listen, Sam…"

"Yes, James?"

He sighed, stopping by the lift. "I have to… reprimand you."

Her heart stopped for a moment. "You… you _what_?!" she spluttered.

"Just, look. Consider yourself reprimanded for the outburst over the comm, okay? Anyone asks, I reamed you good. I'll put it in your file. But I get why you did. It hasn't even been twenty-four hours since we left Earth, and it's not like you're combat-tested. But if I don't, then Shepard has to, and I hear she can be a real hard-ass when she wants to be. So. Consider yourself reprimanded, okay?"

Samantha considered him for a moment. Finally, she straightened, nodding, a half-smile pulling at her lips. "Very well, I shall tell anyone who asks how you really let me have it, reamed me good, shagged me right against the table."

He blushed. "Ay!"

She smirked. "Oh, is that not what you meant? Pity. Because you know, if I was going to sleep with a man, you'd be perfect. Go big or go home, right?" She reached over, taking her duffle bag and hitting the call button. She was feeling such relief – and such fatigue – that it had pushed her right over into Giddy Flirt.

He shook his head. "So I should tell Williams about this, then?"

Sam looked over her shoulder. "What makes you think _I_ won't? Honestly, I think it would make her so jealous that she might try to out-do you. Could be fun."

He laughed. "This is gonna be interesting."

She just smiled, stepping onto the lift. "Indeed. And James?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

He smiled. "No problem, Sam."

The doors closed, cutting him off from view. Samantha sighed. Her nerves were still frayed, and she hadn't actually _spoken_ to Ashley, but she was feeling better, and this was allowing room for other, more mundane feelings to come through. Namely, she was hungry, and tired, and in desperate need of a shower. But first, she had to stake a claim on a bunk. They were shared, but she still could choose an ideal location, and claim a locker that was close-by the bed, and maybe even sizeable.

Twenty minutes later, Samantha emerged from the ladies' restroom clean, a fresh uniform on. She had just remembered about her overnight bag that would have her toothbrush and pajamas in it, and intended to seek it out so she could wear something other than her uniform and use something other than the crap toothbrush the requisitions officer had issued. But the smell of food caught her before she could get on the lift, and she followed it to the mess hall, seeing James sitting at a table, a magical thing in front of him.

"Oh my _God_ ," she exclaimed, walking up behind him. "You got pizza?"

Turning to look at her, he grinned. "You want some?" Her stomach rumbled loudly in answer. He threw back his head and laughed. "Yeah, okay. Go ahead, pull up a chair. Even _I_ can't eat this whole thing myself."

She took her first bite eagerly, making sure every bit of sauce and cheese made it in her mouth. It was _divine_ , and she had a hard time not moaning as she chewed and swallowed. _Feels like I haven't eaten in_ _ **weeks**_ _..._

James snorted. "Some lady. I see why Williams likes you so much."

Sam opened her eyes, glaring at the big marine even as she took another bite. "I'll have you know," she said, talking around her food, "that I can be _completely_ ladylike when I choose to. I simply do not choose to at this time."

He laughed, shaking his head as he pulled another slice from the box. "I'll believe it when I see it." He took a bite, considering her for a moment.

"Okay, I know that look," Sam said. "What do you want to ask me?"

He shook his head, smiling slightly. "How'd you meet Williams?"

"I was visiting my parents on Horizon when the Collectors attacked. Ashley was there as an Alliance representative. It was… fun, until the Collectors attacked. " Sam sighed before continuing. "We lost a lot of people."

James nodded. "I was on Fehl Prime when they were hit. Very few of us made it out, and _none_ of the colonists. I… I kinda hate talking about it. Sorry I brought it up."

Sam nodded. "As do I, but it's all right. Good to bond over shared experiences, yes? Besides, we were lucky. Shepard saved the day, and Ashley made sure my whole family made it out. We just… kept seeing each other after that. She was supposed to be a fun fling while I was home on leave. I never expected I would propose to her a year later. But I just… I love her." She shrugged. Sometimes things could be that simple.

James smiled, holding up the can of beer he somehow had on the table next to him. "Well, here's to love then."

She raised a brow. "I can hardly toast without a drink, James."

Joker chose that exact moment to step around the corner from the lift, calling out, "Yeah, James, what the hell? You were supposed to wait for me for the beer and pizza, and here I find you, sharing it with someone else? And toasting something, no less? Bastard."

James laughed as he reached down, pulling a beer out of a cooler Sam hadn't seen and tossing it to Joker before handing one across the table to Sam. "You were too slow, Joker! A pretty girl took your spot."

Joker chuckled, sitting down next to Sam while cracking open his beer. "Can't blame you for that one. Sam's all right. I've been torturing her during the entire retrofitting process, and she's been dishing it out just as well as she takes it."

Sam giggled. Lifting her beer, she said, "Love? Like you were saying, James?"

James grinned, hitting hers and Joker's beers. "Love. And sex. And beautiful women."

"A _men_ to that," Sam murmured, taking a drink. Perhaps it would all be okay. Perhaps they could get through this. Certainly, these two made it feel familiar, like eating pizza and drinking beer with her brothers. Maybe… maybe they could get through all of this after all.


	11. Wake Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Before Raven Sinead gives me more shit for it, the layouts for letting you know the POV of each chapter is completely stolen from her. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, yes?
> 
> Also she is awesome and betas this stuff for me so fast.

**Ashley**

" _Ashley."_

_Ashley turns. She does not know what she has been doing up to this moment, but it does not matter. That voice…_

" _Dad?"_

" _Hey, kid." He is smiling, his pale skin smooth, his body muscular, his hair thick and dark just like her own. It has been years since she has seen him in such detail, but never like this. It is almost as if he exists as he did in his youthful prime, when he married her mother and Ashley was barely a twinkle in their eyes. Before life had dragged him down. Before he was blacklisted for his father's supposed crimes. When his life, his marriage, his career, was still full of hope._

" _Dad!" She rushes to him, being swallowed up in his embrace like always. The smell of his cologne is the same as it always has been, and it washes over her, associated with warmth and hugs and compassion, and the occasional tough love he doled out when necessary. She smiles, burying her face in his chest. Ashley is tall and strong, but her father is taller and stronger, and Ashley always felt insufficient trying to stand in his stead for her family, her little sisters._

_She realizes then that this is not real. Standing back, she looks up into his brown eyes, a mirror of her own. "Dad, you…"_

_He nods, his happy look getting just a little sad. "I know, kid, I know."_

_She is frustrated. It is not fair that she cannot enjoy these dreams, this time with him, without making the realization that it will not be real when she wakes up. "Why?!"_

_He shrugs. "Because that's what happens sometimes, Ashley. Sometimes, people die. You know it – you signed up to die in the line of duty should it come down to it. And you nearly did, kid."_

_An image of a cybernetic hand coming for her face flashes before her eyes. "I… You mean I made it?"_

_He grins, nodding. "You did. And you're gonna get married, and you have one proud papa, Ashley."_

" _Sam…"_

" _Yes."_

_She smiles. She's gonna marry that girl._

" _Ash?"_

_Ashley looks up again, focusing on her father. "Yeah?"_

" _Stop scaring her, okay? I always regretted doing that to your mother. I hurt all of you because I wasn't careful enough. And… remember who your true friends are."_

_He was disappearing, his form no longer tangible. Or was it her own vision that was fogging? "Dad! Wait!"_

" _You have to go now Ash. But think about what I said. And know that I wish I could've met them."_

" _Who?"_

" _All of them, Ash. Everyone important to you."_

* * *

Ashley opened her eyes to unfamiliar surroundings. She blinked a few times, finally attempting to turn her head, only to find that it was stuck staring straight ahead. Trying to sit up made pain course all the way through her body.

"Fuck," she whispered, feeling her throat sore and dry. She could move her arms and legs, though, so she supposed that was a good thing, since the thing immobilizing her head meant some kind of neck or spinal injury. Moving her arm, she found a hard casing on her wrist, holding it straight and immovable. It was awkward, but she did remember the crack and shooting pain when that damn robot kicked her pistol out of the way.

"Dammit," she murmured, realizing the gun was probably gone. "I liked that pistol…"

The door suddenly slid open, washing the dim room in bright lights, and it was through squinted eyelids that she looked up at the person entering.

"Oh, you're awake! I'll go get the doctor!" The asari disappeared. A nurse maybe? _Where the fuck am I, anyway? This is obviously not the_ _ship's_ _medbay…_

Her answer came rather quickly. "Commander Williams! I am so glad to see you awake!"

"Doctor Michele?" Ashley asked, recalling the woman from her first visit to the Citadel three years before. She had first spoken to Garrus because of the excellent shot he'd taken, killing the thug who'd been holding a gun to this woman's head. She'd come so far since then…

The doctor smiled. Her French accent was thick as she spoke English, as it was just the two of them in the room – no need to speak the Galactic Standard language used when members of other species were around. "Yes, hello, Commander Williams. Congratulations on the promotion."

Ash blushed. "Uh… thanks, Doc. So I guess this means they took me to the Citadel?"

Dr. Michele nodded. "Yes. I see there is little loss of cognitive function, if any. Do you remember what happened?"

Ashley frowned. "That Eva Coré… she was actually a mech. Sophisticated tech. She- it jumped out of the shuttle it crashed in and it came for me. It took me by the face, Doc. Particularly brutal, if you ask me – our body's weakest point is that part of the spine."

Dr. Michele hummed. "It is true. But it is an efficient way to kill someone, with very little mess. I am honestly surprised you survived. Commander Shepard mentioned that you held yourself up with your uninjured arm. You nearly tore the muscle from the bone saving your own life, Commander Williams. But even with your efforts, your assailant broke your neck. Your comrades thought well on their feet, locking up your armor and activating the head-stabilizing feature to keep you from moving. They saved you from further injury."

Ashley was quiet for a moment. She had come _very_ close to death. Shepard, Liara, and Vega had saved her. Suddenly, she had a desperate need to see Samantha. "Where are they now? There's someone I need to see. I need to… I just need to see her."

Dr. Michele's expression sobered. "The _Normandy_ is no longer docked at the Citadel, Commander Williams. I am sorry. I hear that Commander Shepard's Spectre status has been reinstated, and I'm sure, with this war, that she has quite a lot to do. They couldn't wait for you to awaken, I'm afraid."

Ashley's heart fell. Sam was on that ship. She suddenly remembered the dream she'd woken from. She'd long ago accepted – but never discussed with anyone, not even Sam – that those particular dreams, the ones in which she realized her father was dead, were the ones in which he was truly there, truly communicating with her. He'd said he was proud. He'd said he approved of her marriage plans.

He'd told her to stop scaring the shit out of her fiancée.

And now her fiancée was on a starship, having never served in combat, with a bunch of people she didn't know, doing God-knew-what with Shepard at the helm, and Ashley couldn't keep her safe.

"Fuck."

"I am sorry, Commander Williams. Perhaps you can try to contact the ship later? In the meantime, your visitors left you gifts. They are on that table. You may look through them after I check you out, yes?"

Ashley's eyes immediately landed on the table next to her bed. As Dr. Michele moved her arms and scanned every inch of her body, Ashley merely stared. There were only two things. One was a book – old, made with paper, the kind in which she loved to bury her face and just inhale the smell. The other thing was a datapad.

"I like your progress already. It will be a few days before you can sit comfortably, but we can probably have a therapist come in starting tomorrow to stretch out your legs and arms. Pull you in all sorts of directions, yes?"

"How long will the halo be on?" she asked, already sick of not being able to turn her head.

"Ah, yes, that. Technically, the vertebrae are healed, though it is tender and there is still some inflammation. But the doctor who performed the surgery was an old friend of yours, Karin Chakwas. You know her, yes?"

Ashley grinned. "Yeah! Chakwas is great."

Dr. Michelle smiled, holding out a hospital gown. "The sentiment seemed to be mutual. She has joined Shepard's crew now, but she seemed to feel the braces were necessary for you for the next several days. Something about stubborn marines trying to do too much too quickly?"

Ashley laughed, pulling awkwardly until she could tie the gown into place. True clothes would have to wait until the halo was off. "Yeah, she's probably right. I've seen Shepard get a good few dressing-downs from that woman for trying to get up and moving too quickly. I got one, too, once."

"Yes, well. She instructed me not to remove the casings for at least two days, and I will follow her lead on this. I am sorry – I am sure they are uncomfortable – but it is probably for the best."

Ashley sighed. "It's all right, Doc. This is cake compared to some of the situations I've been in."

"Yes, combat is uncomfortable, I hear," the doctor joked.

Ashley snorted. "Understatement of the year."

Packing up, Dr. Michelle turned to go. "I will leave you alone so you may finally see what your visitors left. But do not hesitate to call for someone should you feel anything more than the discomfort or pain you feel at this moment, yes?"

Ashley nodded, only to be stopped by the brace holding her head still. Sighing, she answered, "Sure thing, Doc."

The second the door swished closed, she had the book in her hand. Scrawled on the inside of the hardcover was a note in familiar handwriting.

" _Hey, Ash. I'm glad you'll be okay. Hope this helps keep you from getting too bored._

_-Miriam"_

Smiling, Ashley opened the book at random and buried her nose in it, inhaling sharply. The smell brought her immediately back to the first book of poetry her dad gave to her. Flipping it over, she finally read the title: _The Complete Works of Alfred Tennyson_. The gift made her heart pang with guilt. Her father's favorite poet.

_Yeah, okay. I'm still pissed, but I can't doubt this is actually Miriam anymore._

Setting the book aside, she picked up the datapad. There was a password required, the prompting question simply saying "Nickname?"

Ashley furrowed her brows. _What? Nickname? What the…_

Suddenly it occurred to her, and with a smile, she entered, "Doofus."

" _So you figured it out. I'm proud of you. It's important to marry someone who can at least remember what she called you the first time you slept together. And myriad times after that._

_I can't even describe how happy I am you'll be okay. With everything happening… Bloody hell, I don't know what to say. I don't know when I'll get to see you again. I don't know what communications will be like. I don't know anything, Ashley. I'm going to try to get a hold of my family, and yours. Hopefully I'll have more news when we can speak. You know, whenever that will be._

_I don't know what else to say. I love you. So much. And so far, you've kept your promise. Just… just don't scare me like that again, okay? With all this uncertainty, I kind of need to know I'll have you to return to._

_Now get me a ring, dammit._

_Love,_

_Sammy"_

Ashley choked out a sob, getting it under control quickly, looking around to make sure no one could see her. Sam hadn't said it explicitly, but Ashley now knew she'd seen it happen, probably through Shepard's helmet camera. It was standard procedure, after all – someone had to see what was going on down there, and it made sense for it to be the person in charge of communicating with the ground team. That meant Sam, at least for that mission; no one else on the ship at that point was qualified.

Her sweet, beautiful, unsullied-by-combat fiancée had been given the _worst_ introduction imaginable, watching as the woman she loved was beat to within an inch of her life. _God, she must've felt so helpless, and useless, just watching._

That's when she remembered the last thing she'd heard: Sam shrieking her name over her radio. Holding the datapad to her chest, Ashley began to cry, no longer caring if someone saw. She didn't know anything – if her mom was alive, if her sisters had made it, if she would ever serve on the _Normandy_ again. She knew nothing, the world was going to shit, and she couldn't have the one source of comfort she was desperate for.

So she cried and cried until she was spent, finally falling asleep once more.


	12. Introductions

**Samantha**

Samantha's heart raced. It was time to finally speak with Commander Miriam Shepard, at her request. If they were going to work together, with Sam in charge of all incoming and outgoing communications – she was the most experienced communications person on the ship – _and_ keeping communications open with the ground team, she and Commander Shepard had to get a good feel for each other. At the very least, they needed to speak, introduce themselves, and move past Awkward Stammering Sam. From there, Shepard would tell her what to do.

That actually kind of relieved Sam. She was entirely out of her element on this ship. Being given a task and then performing it gave her some semblance of structure, and that was _incredibly_ welcome right now. Especially because she was technically the senior communications officer – though not actually a commissioned officer – on board, meaning she was technically _in charge_ of the other two who worked the swing and night shifts.

Straightening her hair - down, as was allowed to non-combatants - Samantha took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly to help calm her nerves. She didn't know quite why she was nervous. No, actually, that was a lie. There were many reasons to be nervous, and Sam was having a hard time not thinking of _all_ of them at once. Shepard was a war hero before Sam was even halfway through university. Shepard had earned the Star of Terra for holding the colony of Elysium _by herself_ until Alliance reinforcements were able to respond. The commander had then saved the Citadel from Saren, delaying the Reaper invasion that was now ravaging the galaxy. She again delayed it in the Bahak system, after having gone through the impassable Omega 4 relay to take out the Collectors at their home. The woman had somehow cheated death – the details were difficult to come by – in addition to being the first human Spectre.

Perhaps most breathtaking for Samantha, however, was the simple fact that Shepard had saved her home, her family, landing on Horizon and stopping the Collectors before they could take Sam, Ash, and everyone else on the colony.

Sam had a healthy dose of hero-worship going on, and she was desperate not to disappoint.

"Here goes nothing," she breathed, stepping off the lift and into the hallway outside Shepard's cabin.

"Commander, I'm Communications Spec- oh, dear, I'm sorry! I thought you were alone!" _Shit, there's Awkward Stammerer. One more step, and we'll be at Too-Much-Information Sammy_.

She had unknowingly walked in on Commander Shepard and Doctor T'Soni standing in the hall, doing… something. Probably talking, but Sam couldn't help but think it was more than a mere conversation between friends. She knew from talking with Ashley that they had been involved at some point, but she had no idea if the commander and the asari had reconciled since Shepard had reappeared on the scene. The way that they stood now, the asari's hand on Shepard's arm, the human leaned against the railing… it certainly seemed familiar. The asari seemed concerned; Shepard as though she were confiding something.

And Samantha had interrupted it.

"I'll just-"

"It is all right," Dr. T'Soni cut her off, turning and striding toward the elevator. "I should be going anyway." And with that, the asari swept past Samantha and onto the lift.

_That was… incredibly odd._

"What can I help you with?" Shepard's voice jarred Sam out of her momentary reverie. She sounded… almost tired.

Sam nearly jumped, quickly saluting as she straightened to attention in front of her commander. "Commander Shepard, I apologize. I'm Communications Specialist Samantha Traynor. EDI informed me that you had scheduled us to meet in about five minutes, but I like to make it just a tad early when I can. I was part of the retrofit team, and we were all on the ship when the reapers hit. I-"

Shepard finally cut her off. "Whoa, calm down. Traynor, was it? You're doing fine. Why don't you come in and we can talk a little more casually. I did ask you to come here, after all."

_I… was I released from standing at attention? Shit… And why did I blather on while at attention, at that?_

_Well done with that one, Sammy._

Shepard stared at her another moment before it clicked. "At ease, soldier," she said with a wink, turning and waving Sam to come with her as she stepped through the open door to her cabin. Sam dropped her arm and followed, feeling rather sheepish.

Her eyes wandered around the space as she walked in. She'd known it was large from the ship's schematics, and also knew that the space could hardly be used for much else, so it wasn't like the commander was getting more space at the expense of her crew. She took in the empty fish-tanks along the wall, the long desk and private bathroom, the rather _large_ bed, and…

_Oh my God stop staring at her bum, Sam!_

Samantha's eyes snapped up to her commander's face just as the woman turned back around. Shepard had dusky skin, a little lighter than Ashley's, covered in darker freckles. Her hair was as dark as Samantha's, short but fine, falling in short, loose curls about her head. She was tall, her frame all lean muscle that her fatigues and plain black t-shirt couldn't hide. It was all very... pleasant, not least because of the twinkle in the commander's blue eyes as she smirked at Sam.

"You had something to discuss with me, Specialist?"

_Shit. She knows I was checking her out for a second. At least she's entertained and not pissed…_

"Oh, yes, ma'am, now that we're introduced, I wanted to see if you were familiar at all with the retrofits."

Shepard shook her head. "Not even a little, though I've been through that damn security screen to the QEC a couple times already. Am I gonna have to do that every time?"

Samantha grinned. A more laidback commander she could _definitely_ do. And her manner already had Sam at ease, calmer, less nervous. She could see why Ashley and Shepard had gotten along so well. "Oh, I hate it, too! And yes, you will. Every time."

"Damn."

Sam chuckled. "Try it thirty times a day, every time you need a different tool. I just started carrying my toolkit with me wherever I went, just in case I needed it in there."

Shepard shook her head, laughing. Then silence descended, the commander not making a move toward more conversation.

Sam cleared her throat. "I, uh… I could show you some of the retrofits, if you like?" she suggested, pulling up her omnitool.

Shepard nodded. "Sure. Take a seat. You want anything to drink? I have… shit, actually, I think all I have is water right now…"

Sam smiled. "I'm all right, Commander. I'm on duty, so water's about all I'm allowed, anyway, unless you have tea or coffee?"

"Water's it for now, I'm afraid. Take a seat. Or are you one of those non-coms who stands on ceremony and can't get the stick out of her ass around the boss?"

Samantha shook her head as she perched herself on one of the sofas along the wall. "Hardly, Commander. In fact, the only thing that kept me out of trouble in my previous assignments was my consistent good work."

"Ah, the humblebrag," Shepard said, handing Sam a glass of water before seating herself a comfortable distance away.

Sam colored a little. "I- I'm sorry, Commander, I-"

Shepard snorted. "Relax, Specialist. The humblebrag is the meat and potatoes of hanging out with marines. Shit, we straight-up _brag_. You'll see."

Samantha smirked. "I've spent plenty of time around salty marines, ma'am. Hell, I got drunk with Joker and James just last night." She wasn't ready to mention her relationship to Ashley just yet. It just… it felt like betraying her fiancée, somehow. Ashley wasn't ready, so she wouldn't go there. It was unnecessary – Ashley wasn't on the ship.

Shepard sighed. "Wish I'd thought of that. Hell of a day, yesterday."

The image burned onto Sam's brain of Ashley being rammed into the side of that shuttle flashed before her eyes. "I believe that might be the biggest understatement I've ever heard, Commander."

Shepard seemed lost in thought for a brief moment before shaking her head, her eyes focusing back on Sam. "So. Tell me about these retrofits."

Sam nodded, pulling up the information on the datapad she'd brought up with her. "Well, ma'am, as you can see…"


	13. Work Work Work

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a long author's note. Feel free to skip. Just explaining a thing near the end of the chapter.
> 
> Had to set up some fake Alliance military ranking system for this chapter. So I asked Raven Sinead about how modern (American) military ranking works and what she thought about ME. What she came up with is as follows.
> 
> Alliance Navy is merged Navy/Air Force, while marines are merged army/marines. In her mind, marines are straight fighting, while navy personnel handle everything else. Which means Sam - and everyone else who doesn't fight on the ground - is in the navy and get naval ranks. So that explains the ranks. But because her full rank is a mouthful, and saying "Petty Officer Traynor" is not nearly as sexy as "Specialist Traynor," Sam goes by her job title rather than her military rank, which Raven Sinead says is common. So Sam, in our new military head-canon, is a Petty Officer First Class, and the people under her on the communications team are both Petty Officer Second Class. Because of the rank difference, Sam is a non-commissioned officer, placing her in command of the communications team.
> 
> Look at me. I like details. I figure if I do it, I may as well get it as right as I can. So I have a military liaison in Raven Sinead. Because she is kind and smart and patient, and betas this for me so quickly each time!
> 
> Without further ado, I give you the next chapter.

**Samantha**

"So you're an AI."

"That is correct, Specialist Traynor."

Sam pursed her lips. "Why didn't you tell me?"

EDI paused, proving once more that she really was not a virtual intelligence. They weren't programmed to _consider their answers_. "You already suspected, and I did not know how you would feel about it."

"I suspected and didn't freak out, EDI. I feel fine about it. I'm… well, I'm a little fascinated. Kind of want to pick you apart and study you."

"You do have an affinity for solving technological problems. I am not surprised you would wish to see how my processes work."

Samantha chuckled, shaking her head a little. "I wouldn't actually do that, though."

"I could easily prevent you from doing so should you choose to, Specialist Traynor. The _Normandy_ is my body, after all. Venting the air from the room would work well as a deterrent."

Sam froze.

"That was a joke."

{ _EDI, stop scaring our best comm specialist,_ } came Joker's voice through her earbud. He'd told her once that sometimes when EDI spoke with others on other parts of the ship, her holographic interface would still speak up in the cockpit.

Sam giggled, then narrowed her eyes. "I'm going to have to get him back for lying to me about you, EDI. Perhaps you could vent the air up there for me?"

"That would not be advisable, Specialist Traynor."

"Oh, I don't want to kill him," she explained. "I just want to scare him a little. Just vent the air a _little_ bit, like enough for a second or two of the rushing decompression. Enough to make him shit his trousers."

EDI paused. "That… seems like a disproportionate response, Specialist Traynor; Jeff was merely attempting to keep me safe while my hardware and only physical platform were being held by the Alliance. The Council's rules against even heavily shackled AIs are explicit. And I am not shackled."

Sam sighed, blowing a stray hair out of her face. "Oh, _fine_. I'll just think of something else. And… I'm glad he cared enough to put his career on the line to keep you safe."

"It only makes sense," EDI said through her earbud. "Pilots often develop an emotional attachment to their ships. In Jeff's case, his ship has a voice, and thoughts of its own. I have a personality, such as it is. It only makes sense that we would become friendly." The AI paused again. "At least after he outgrew his distrust of me."

Sam smiled, pulling up the alert that had just pinged her personal ID. She was finishing up her duty shift, having spent a good chunk of the morning speaking with Shepard in her cabin. The commander was… pleasant. It made Sam feel a little guilty to get along with the woman so well when Shepard and Ashley were at odds, but she could not deny that she found the commander good friend material. She possessed a laidback demeanor that put Samantha instantly at ease, and yet Sam could see what made her command material. It wasn't that she demanded respect at every turn, it was that she _inspired_ it. Every person on this ship knew that Shepard had succeeded despite impossible odds, and were only too happy to serve under her. She encouraged ideas, but expected orders to be followed. Not that she gave them all that often. Instead everything felt collaborative.

If anything, Sam's only complaint would be that the commander had a tendency to be a little flirty. But a lot of marines were like that, like James, and even Joker. And there wasn't any inappropriate touching, nothing that truly made Samantha uncomfortable. She merely found Commander Shepard to be attractive, so she was particularly _aware_ of the flirtations. It made her feel a little guilty. One, because she was involved with someone, was in fact engaged to be married, but her gaze was still roving. Two, because her fiancée was Ashley Williams, who was at odds with the commander.

Samantha had left the commander's cabin feeling refreshed, having discussed the retrofits, and then Samantha's technical know-how. This was a specialized ship, with a fully evolved AI running many of its processes and capable of running nearly the entire ship for short periods of time should the crew be unable to do so. In addition, the missions Shepard would likely need to go on were unlike anything Sam would have trained for. Samantha's record, her training, and her qualifications all put her in charge of communications on the ship, but Shepard still wanted to get a feel for her senior communications specialist herself. Sam couldn't blame her. She was so wet behind the ears as far as command went that she might as well be swimming, but Shepard didn't ask her anything she couldn't answer. In some ways Sam was more familiar with the ship than Shepard was because of the retrofits.

The conversation had moved on from there. Shepard was a sniper, a soldier, capable of boxing, practiced in fencing, and could sprint incredibly fast. But under all of it, Miriam Shepard was almost a bigger tech geek than Samantha was. She was whip-smart and had a head for tech Samantha had never even seen before, intuiting how to do something before Sam even finished explaining it. So Sam had shown her more, transferring interesting programs and games, hacks and schematics for new military-grade encryptions, to Shepard's omnitool, watching as the woman's eyes grew large in delight.

But now Sam was in the CIC, doing work, because that's how duty shifts worked. _I wonder if Shepard is still up there, geeking out on that stuff…_ Sam hadn't continued to geek out. She'd been working steadily since she stepped foot off the lift, trying to see if she could piggyback a message to her parents on the official Alliance channels. It was… well, the message did send, but that did _not_ mean that her parents would actually receive it. But it was all she could do. She did the same thing for Ashley's mother and sisters, sending a copy to each of them in hopes _one_ of them would get it and be able to reply.

Now she was attempting to find out what was going on with Grissom Academy, where her brother Timothy was, but was having a frustrating time finding any news about the school. She was in fact not finding the academy itself at _all_ , and it worried her. Her baby brother was there. She needed to know how they were doing.

The ID tag attached to the alert that just pinged _her_ ID caught her full attention, however. It was from Ashley. Her heart pounding, Sam opened it immediately. The first line made her choke out a laugh.

" _Hey Doofus._

_I've been trying to get a call through, but everything's too jammed. It's a fucking shit-show out there._

_I hear you're on the Normandy. I'm glad. I know I've been on and on about Shepard, but with her, on that ship, is about the safest place you could be right now. I'm still pissed at her, but… well, I shouldn't talk about your commanding officer. Suffice it to say I believe it's her now. And that I wouldn't trust your safety to just anybody. If it comes up, you should go ahead and let her know you and I are involved. I'm not on the ship anymore so nobody can get pissed about it. And I want her to know that she has someone so precious to me in her care. She'll take good care of you._

_I'm so sorry you had to see me hurt, baby. I know I look like hell, and it was probably only worse when you were in here while I was unconscious. The pain isn't too bad – they've got me on the good shit. The casts come off tomorrow, and then I'll be able to actually put on real clothes. No more hospital gowns. I'll even be able to get up and walk around a little. Right now I've got this hot little thing for a physical therapist who comes in and stretches me out, but I'm told in a week or so I'll start up with a group. You're not jealous or anything, right? ;) Hopefully I'll be shipshape in no time. I don't know if I'll be able to come back to the Normandy, but I'm gonna try as hard as I can to make that happen._

_I miss you, baby. Shit, it's only been a day and I'm sitting around with nothing to do and no one to talk to. I feel completely useless here. I've been reading a lot, trying to send messages to Mom and the girls. I checked with Alliance HQ, and they said Sarah's husband was recalled._

_I don't really know what to say. I wanna see you so bad. Just… hold you. Bury my face in your throat. I'm sure both of us could use the stress-relief of an orgasm or five. But I want more than that. And less. I just… I just want you. Right here, in my arms. I can just barely smell you, if I close my eyes and concentrate. Did I ever tell you that you smell like cream? Mixed with the coconut oil you use on your hair and skin, it's like you're the sexiest, snuggliest little dessert I ever had. And it's great, because I can actually have my cake and eat it, too._

_I don't know what I'm writing anymore. I'm just rambling. Ugh. I miss you. I guess that's really it. Come see me in the hospital when you come to the Citadel. And try to call me, like, for real. I wanna see your face._

_Love,_

_Ash"_

"Oh, Ashley," Samantha sighed, wiping the tear that had trailed down her cheek. "Oh, you wonderful, lovely woman." Ashley had this way of making Sam feel like the most important person in the world. She always felt so special with Ash. The lieutenant-commander saw her in a light that Sam had a hard time seeing on her own, and yet, when Ashley spoke about her, she really did believe the woman. It was a skill that worked very well at buttering Sam up, and got Ashley laid just about as often as Samantha could manage it.

Now, though, it made her heart ache for her fiancée.

"Hey, Sam."

The voice that jarred her out of her heartache belonged to her replacement, a pale-skinned man not quite a decade older than herself who had served as an engineer before doing the year of tech training for communications, getting his one sad promotion up to petty officer second class. She wasn't overly fond of him, even though he'd only been on the ship for a day, but she was leery of stepping on any toes this early in the game. She was senior to him in rank, but he was senior in age and military experience, especially on ships. It was a… tricky situation. Especially given that they were stuck on a ( _small_ ) ship together.

The way he called her by her nickname, rather than her last name or her rank or job title, grated at her, however, pulling her right out of her euphoria over hearing from Ash.

"Hello, Petty Officer Rajad," she answered, pointedly using his rank and last name. He didn't seem to pick up on it, and Sam barely kept from rolling her eyes.

"Anything I need to know about?" he asked.

She shook her head, closing out of everything so he could sign in. "No, nothing going on right now. Let me know if anything comes up, all right?"

"I know what I'm doing, Sam. Got more years than you in the chain of command, pup."

She bristled, but held her tongue. That didn't stop her Internal Monologuing from thoroughly abusing the man, though. _I know that, you arse. Yet you're still here, without ever being promoted. I know educated officers coming in and getting promoted before you is annoying, but maybe if you were competent, you might have made more of yourself than still being PO2_ _ **at**_ _ **ten years in**_ _._

Sam left quickly, taking refuge in the cafeteria. Grabbing a dehydrated meal, she pulled up Ashley's message again, reading it once before doing anything to even prepare her food.

She read it ten more times, memorizing it by the time she was done eating. Despite her earlier tears, the message left her buoyant for the rest of the day.


	14. The Assassin

**Ashley**

The halo was off. Ashley still wasn't allowed to walk much, but she could at least pull on a shirt and sweatpants, which was miles ahead of wearing that damn hospital gown. In lieu of walking around, the physical therapist was making her do some exercises and stretches which kept her neck limber while strengthening it. But it was on order for her to get up and walk up and down the hallway with a volunteer twice daily for the next few days. It wasn't much, but Ashley was surprised when it completely took it out of her the first time.

She had _not_ expected to be so incapacitated in the rest of her body by a neck injury.

Ashley did her exercises religiously, doing everything the doctor would allow her to. Leg lifts, crunches, toe-raises, lunges – anything that didn't make her stretch or strain her neck or shoulders. She spent a _lot_ of time doing these, building up a sweat when she could, even if it was light. She didn't want to lose her fitness, not with the Reaper invasion going on. They were in the middle of a war: she was _not_ going to have to sit it out just because she sat on her duff in the hospital.

She still hadn't gotten a hold of her mom or sisters. She was trying very hard not to panic, because there was always the chance her mom had gotten onto a transport, that her sisters had gotten off the planet somehow, and they just couldn't cut through the crazy communications traffic to contact Ashley. There was also a good resistance going on Earth, moving from place to place and staying in small numbers, according to the ANN. _Mom's smart. She'll have attached herself to something like that if she didn't make it off-planet. She's young, healthy. I bet she's putting her nursing expertise to work._

She hadn't heard from Sam again. It was… well, it wasn't surprising, but it _was_ disappointing. There was no news of the _Normandy_. It was a stealth ship; no one was going to get news about the ship's whereabouts except the higher ups. So all Ashley had for now was the letter Sam had left for her, and it was quickly becoming too little.

She'd tried countless times to make a call. Somehow her omnitool had survived her encounter with the Cerberus mech, and so she had pictures and old recordings and conversations, and the specialist's contact information. But her calls would simply not go through. The only thing she'd managed to get through was the letter she'd written, and there was no way to tell if Sam had received it.

So she read, and exercised, and hoped and prayed. She wished she had her dad's rosary. That kind of meditative practice would be really nice right now, what with all this thinking and _not moving_ she was doing.

Two days after the halo came off – four days since Mars – she snuck out of her room, unable to take the silence any longer. Ashley had long learned that if you looked like you knew what you were doing, you didn't draw a lot of questions. So, dressed in sweatpants and a ribbed undershirt, she walked confidently out into the hall. Dr. Michele wasn't in sight, nor were any of her regular nurses.

"Score," Ashley breathed to herself, turning around the corner, making for the lobby. She just wanted to get some fresh air, see some people who weren't her nurses, be in a room that had more noises than her machines. Her bare feet craved the cool feeling of the metallic flooring. As she walked, she reached her fingers out, feeling the texture of the wall, the windows. She could feel the slight buzz of the decontamination chamber as she walked through it, again confidently, as though this were exactly where she was supposed to be.

When the door opened onto the reception room, her heart did a little flip. It was full of people. As the eldest in a big family, Ashley had a difficult time dealing with long periods of solitude. It tended to bring down her mood. But this, this room full of people moving and talking and _being_ , energized her, filled her with a sense of purpose. Moving slowly into the middle of the room, Ashley looked for a seat. The room seemed to be multi-purpose; there were all manner of people, with all manner of business, around the giant room. Patients were visiting with family or friends along one wall, while across the room there seemed to be cubicles set aside, people in the uniforms of counselors sitting with patients with at least a scrap of privacy. Ash suspected it wasn't normally like this, but the Citadel had limited space, and the hospital was utilizing every inch it could.

The middle of the room was dominated by a reception desk, but it was actually quite small, with just three people staffing it. The rest of the rather large space was full of couches and individual chairs, people of all species scattered about. It wasn't horribly crowded, but it did take Ashley a moment to find a seat – off in a corner, luckily by a window. Moving over there, she perched on the chair, seating herself between a male drell and the wall.

There had been a time when she would have been incredibly uncomfortable next to the drell. But both Kaidan and Miriam had helped rid her of her entirely irrational dislike of non-humans. Liara helped, too. Really, everyone on the _SR-1_ worked together in a way to disprove all of Ashley's assumptions regarding aliens. She was so comfortable now that she only remarked mentally that she was next to a drell because she'd never actually seen one of his species before in the flesh. She tried to remember what she knew – the drell lived with the Hanar? – but couldn't really drag up all the information she'd gotten from that one course she'd had to take as part of her Alliance training, right after basic. Shrugging inwardly, she looked out the window, intending to just spend some time with a different view.

Her thoughts turned to her family pretty quickly, however. Her father had been the rock in her life until he died when she was seventeen. When they'd been informed of his death in the line of duty, her world had crumbled from beneath her feet. She'd spent most of her life helping to raise her sisters because of his frequent deployments, but having him dead was very different from having him just not home. She couldn't talk to him anymore, couldn't listen to his deep voice tell her that her heartbreak would pass, and he couldn't tell her anymore that he'd help her pack her damn bags himself when she threatened to be done with all of them. He _got_ her, knew how to deflate her when she was feeling uppity, knew how to encourage her when she was feeling down, knew when she really did need comforting, and yet never coddled her.

And then the Alliance soldier appeared on their doorstep, informed them his ship had been destroyed, and the world stopped. He was just _gone_ , and he was never coming back. There'd been no warning that their last conversation would indeed be their _last_ conversation. Last hug, last pat on the head, last kiss on the cheek, last girly horde swarming him to the ground when he came home on leave. He was steadfast and strong, caring and warm, and he was gone and she didn't know what to do.

So she'd acted out, by sleeping around, partying, getting drunk. It hadn't helped, but it _had_ gotten her mother _pissed_. Her mother was waiting for her one night – really, it was early morning – and had actually _slapped_ her when she smelled the alcohol on a young Ashley's breath. Several months of curfew, therapy, and crying sessions with her sisters had straightened her out, though. She was lucky. Some parents didn't care enough to do that, or were so lost in their own grief that they couldn't muster the parental energy to handle their children. But not Ashley's mom. Ashley's mom was on top of her shit, and her kids' shit.

One of the things Ashley had clung to as she got back on the right path was religion. In a world of aliens and interstellar travel, of the military in space, of colonizing _planets_ , Ashley Williams was a devout Catholic. As a kid she hadn't cared, but as Ashley came to terms with her father's death, she had started researching the faith he had held so dear. But he had also held it close, not forcing it on his uninterested wife and children.

She had found a world of therapeutic traditions and comforting spirituality. She'd started attending mass, eventually joined by every single member of her family. When she'd left for basic training, her mother had gifted her with her father's rosary, which she said he had been fond of using to meditate. Those beads were still on the _Normandy_ now, in her equipment locker. _I should tell Sam so it doesn't get lost_ , she thought to herself suddenly. It was important. She didn't want to lose it because someone else took her locker and dumped her stuff somewhere.

Toying with the ring that was now back on her finger, Ashley said a silent prayer of thanks that she had kept it on her person. She'd never admit it out loud, but she liked to think that it had kept her safe, kept her from dying.

God, her thoughts were everywhere.

Taking a deep breath, Ashley decided to meditate. She may not have the rosary on which to count, but it wasn't like she needed it, not really. Taking another deep breath, she closed her eyes, beginning to recite the Apostle's Creed under her breath.

" _I believe in God the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth..."_

* * *

Ashley opened her eyes some time later. She had been steadily working her way through the rosary, counting her Hail Marys on her fingers and keeping track of how many decades she'd gone through. Now, though, she was through, and she felt… empty. But not depressingly so. She just felt content, the light shining through the window wonderful to behold, her thoughts no longer going in every direction.

"Excuse me." A gravelly voice sounded next to her. Turning, she saw that the drell man still sat beside her, his inky black eyes turned her way. Well, as far as she could tell, anyway. She couldn't see pupils or irises for her to get some clue of specifically what he was focusing on.

"Yes?" she answered. She knew he was addressing her, as there was no one else – she was sitting next to him and the wall.

"I couldn't help but notice you meditating, and it… I apologize, I know this is a strange question. I simply rarely meet others who are religious and was intrigued. Your meditation seemed religious. I couldn't understand your words, but the repetitive nature was familiar."

Ashley furrowed her brows. This was… odd. "It was religious. I was saying the rosary."

He blinked, a strange combination of multiple eyelids that Ashley had to control her reaction toward. It was… unsettling. "Forgive me, I am unfamiliar with human religious traditions. What is the rosary?"

Ashley wasn't sure she wanted to discuss Catholicism with an alien, but the question itself was innocent enough. "It's… they're prayer beads. You count on the beads of a rosary and say specific prayers, moving from one side of the beads around to the other side. It's… meditative." She didn't really feel like going into the history and cultural traditions of the veneration of the Virgin Mary at this point. Too much back information needed.

"Ah, I see. You are lacking your beads?"

Ashley blushed. "Yeah. They're… It's difficult to get a hold of a set of them, and I don't have mine here. So I was counting on my fingers."

He nodded, looking away, presumably out the window. "Prayer can be healing. The meditation clears the mind, allows us to relax our bodies. It sets our spirits at ease."

Ashley blinked. "Are… are you religious, too?"

The man nodded, turning his head in her direction once more. "I worship the old gods of my people. Not many do anymore."

Ashley nodded. "Yeah, not many of us believe anymore. But I just… I don't know how you could look out on the stars, at the infinite space and possibility, and not believe in _something_."

The drell blinked. "I had not even thought of it that way. Most look out and wonder how a deity has any place among the stars."

Ashley shrugged. "I guess I don't."

He hummed.

After a pause, Ashley swallowed down her suddenly thundering heart and held out her hand. "I'm Ashley Williams."

He blinked, looking down at her hand for a moment. Slowly, carefully, he placed his hand in hers, palm to palm. His fingers were odd, the two middle ones seeming fused. His skin was surprisingly smooth and cool, yet she could feel warmth emanating from the flesh below. She was not expecting any of those things from someone so clearly reptilian.

"I am Thane Krios."

Ashley smiled, looking fully into his face for a moment. She could see now that his eyes were dark, but still possessed the iris and pupil. His face was both familiar and alien, and Ashley truly could have stared all day, but pulled her eyes away after only a few seconds so as not to be rude.

A silence settled as she released his hand. She didn't know how to keep the conversation going, but was saved from having to figure it out when a hand tapped her shoulder. Startled, she turned, only to don a sheepish expression.

"Uh, hi, Dr. Michele," she said, pushing her hair behind her ear.

The doctor merely pursed her lips. "I see you are already tired of your room, Commander. Come, you have a call."

Ashley perked up at that. Getting to her feet, trying to ignore how sore her neck was from the prolonged sitting in one position, she looked down at Thane.

"It was nice to meet you, Thane. Maybe I'll see you around."

"Indeed. It was nice to meet you as well, Ashley," he said, his inky eyes already no longer off-putting. "I shall make sure to greet you if I see you again."

"So, who's this call from?" Ashley asked Dr. Michele, hoping that it was finally her fiancée.

The doctor didn't answer, merely glancing over her shoulder, her eyes hiding a smile that made Ashley's heart flutter. Dr. Michele knew about Sam – everyone did. Now that she wasn't in a military facility, Ashley couldn't seem to shut the fuck up about her. She supposed there were worse ways to act about being engaged. Nearly skipping at mention of her fiancée was not a terrible way to act.

Ashley nearly flew back into her hospital room, seeing Sam's face on the terminal over in the corner. Rushing over with a giant grin on her face, she very nearly grabbed the holographic display into a hug.

"Sam!"

Sam grinned. "Ashley!"

"Goddamn, you're beautiful," she said, her grin nearly splitting her face. Sam was… it was unclear _where_ on the ship she was. Her hair was down, hanging in such a way as to suggest Sam was lying on her stomach. Her dark skin was lit by the light from her omnitool, making her look almost like she was going to be telling a ghost story. Her face was more than welcome, smiling in that special way Ashley only ever saw when they were alone, her form moving a little in a way that proved that she was indeed there, and not an old picture Ashley was staring at.

"Such a flatterer, Ashley," Sam said, her smile turning coy. "Keep it up, and you'll need to ensure you can have a few minutes alone."

Ashley smirked. "Been long enough that I think a few minutes would be all I'd need," she joked. It was true though. When it had been a little while, it suddenly took her almost no time to get off.

"It's been four days, Ashley. Hardly a lifetime. And anyway I unfortunately don't actually have enough privacy to do that." Sam paused, her expression softening. "God, Ashley, it is so good to see you awake and alert. I can't even describe how warm my heart is right now."

Ashley's heart dropped a little. "I'm sorry, baby. I can't begin to imagine…"

Sam sniffed, wiping her eye. "Let's… let's talk about what's been going on, shall we? I don't want to spend any more time crying over this. Not while we're apart."

Ashley smiled warmly. "Okay, baby, what do you want to talk about?"

"I could tell you about what we're up to on the ship?"

Ashley shook her head. "Better not. I can guarantee you this channel through the Citadel is not secure. Tell me about how you finally got through."

Sam nodded, smiling. "It was simple, really. I made a call to the hospital through Alliance channels, and they transferred it to your room. I've been trying your omnitool all this time. The hospital is much more prominent and anchored in the network than one single omnitool."

Ash blinked. "That was it? So if I call you from this terminal I'll be okay?"

Sam nodded. "As far as I can tell."

"Well shit…"

Sam giggled. "Let's see, what else… James and Joker are treating me well. I'm settling in. We played cards last night."

Ashley snorted. "Did you beat the pants off both of them? They're both terrible."

"No. You know I'm better at strategy games. They beat the pants off _me_. And from James's flirting, I'm sure he would've loved it if they did actually come off."

"He touches you, I'll skin him alive," Ashley growled, watching Sam's eyes darken a little with desire. "You're mine, sweetcheeks. No one gets to steal you away while we're apart."

Sam just smirked. "I don't see a ring on this finger, Ash."

"Soon as I'm out of here, I'll take care of it. You guys coming back anytime soon?"

Sam shook her head. "I honestly don't know. But you will be the _first_ place I go."

Ashley smiled. "I know. I love you. Tell me about what you do on your off time."

Sam pursed her lips in thought. "Well…"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a couple quick notes. There weren't a lot of details about Ashley's family on the wiki, so I made some shit up. Wheee!
> 
> Two, I got rid of Thane's moniker, because it was a cumbersome detail that didn't really matter. So. There.


	15. EDI Gets a Body

**Samantha**

Samantha was not on-duty for Palaven. They arrived to the system around midnight ship-time, Samantha cozily asleep in her bunk. Something woke her after only a few hours of sleep, however. Sitting up, she took in all the waking forms around her. Furrowing her brows, she swung her feet over the edge of her bunk, making sure not to hit the person below her.

Suddenly, the ship bucked. "What the-" she started, only to cut herself off in a yelp, catching hold of the wall to keep from being thrown off her bed. The night light strips on the floor flickered ominously.

"Uh… it's not good when the power goes out and you're in space, right?" someone piped up.

Samantha snorted a laugh, albeit quietly. "No, no it's really not," she murmured to herself. Then, louder, she called toward the ceiling. "EDI? What's going on?"

No answer.

_That's strange…_

Pushing herself off the bed to the floor, forgoing the ladder and simply landing nimbly at the foot of her colleague's bed, Sam reached for her omnitool, affixing it to her wrist before pulling up the display. "Damn, there are no comms anywhere in the ship," she said.

"All right, everyone head to your posts," Adams said, pulling on a fresh uniform shirt. "If you can't get there for some reason, then stay in the mess hall. Let people know comms are down as you pass them. Any questions?"

Someone groaned, "Is there _no_ chance we get to sleep more?"

He just chuckled. "Nope. Sorry folks. Welcome to life aboard a ship."

A few minutes later, Sam had her uniform on – a clean one, as the one she'd worn not four hours before had been put into the sanitizer already – and was just tying her boots before heading out the door. The power wasn't actually out, but the lights in the whole ship hadn't stopped flickering. _Disconcerting, to say the least_.

"Hey, Traynor?"

Samantha looked up to see she was now alone with Adams. "Yes, Lieutenant?"

"I need you to check on EDI. Go to the AI core and see why she isn't talking to us or responding in any way." He pulled up his omnitool, her own chirping a second later. "I've got direct link set up for messages. Can't do voice, but you can type and send the text message to me. Best we can do in these conditions."

Samantha nodded, finishing with her boots before standing up. "No problem, sir. I'll head there straightaway."

He smiled. "Thanks, Traynor."

He was out the door almost immediately, Sam on his heels. But whereas he went directly for the lift, Sam continued past him, heading for the medical bay. Chakwas, who was on duty because she must be whenever there were marines on the ground, looked up when she entered.

"Can I help you, Samantha?"

Sam smiled. She was still _so_ grateful to the woman for intervening when she couldn't see Ashley in the hospital. "No, Doctor. EDI isn't responding, and we have no communications, so Adams sent me to see what I can find out in the AI core."

The woman nodded. "Makes sense. The ground team will be on the ship in the next few minutes. Our last transmission was Cortez letting me know he had them and there were no injuries."

"Good to know. Let me know if someone's able to get a hold of you, will you? I am still lead Communications Specialist."

Chakwas nodded, turning back to her terminal. "Will do, Samantha."

Sam passed through the doors, unsurprised when they shut behind her. Going straight to the terminal, Sam began working.

"EDI?" she called, just testing once more. To her surprise, EDI's voice issued from behind her.

"Specialist Traynor, I am-"

Samantha never learned what EDI was. She gasped, just seeing something alarming on the holographic display of the terminal before she was hit hard across the shoulders. She crumpled to the floor. Instinct took over and she rolled away, staring wide-eyed as a robotic foot crashed down where her head had been. Looking up, she saw it was the mech that had injured Ashley so horrifically. But as she stared, the color of the visor flickered, changing from blue to orange.

EDI's voice issued from its mouth. "Specialist Traynor, please exit this room; I am attempting to take control of the Cerberus mobile platf-"

She was cut off again, the visor flickering back to blue. Somehow, the eyes held all the malice in the world. Sam could say with confidence that she had _never_ been looked at like that before. The floor bucked beneath her, tossing her onto her belly. As she tried to scramble to her feet – and away from the angry machine – the door's holographic interface turned red.

Her stomach dropped.

_Shit. I'm locked in here._

_Don't panic Sammy._

_Too. Bloody. Late._

Something told her to move, so, abandoning her attempt to get her feet under her, Samantha dropped and rolled to her left, ramming her elbow right into a bank of equipment. Swearing at the numbness radiating up from her funny bone, she tried to keep moving, but a metallic hand went crashing into the computers right where she'd intended to move, causing a spray of sparks in her face.

Sam had never experienced electrocution. But as the power surged in the computer bank before the emergency systems kicked in, she knew for a fact that electrocution was what was happening to her now. Technically electrocution was _death_ by electric shock, but Sam wasn't going to split hairs at the moment. She couldn't move anything, or perhaps more accurately, everything was trying to move at once. Her back straightened painfully and she hit the ground face-first, her whole body shaking, yet rigid.

Suddenly it was over, her body going limp. Her heart raced. All her skin was tingling, her fingers and hands and arms twitching at random every few seconds. Hands seized her shoulders, turning her onto her back. Her eyes opened and she saw the Cerberus mech standing over her, its visor blessedly orange.

_EDI. It's EDI. Maybe it's over. Oh who bloody cares? If it kills me, it kills me. I can't move anyway._

"Specialist Traynor, I apologize. Are you hurt?"

"I…"

The doors suddenly slid open, Shepard's voice filling the cabin. "Talk to me EDI, what's happening?"

The commander stood silhouetted against the medbay lights. She still wore her armor, had a pistol in her hand, though her helmet was off. In her addled state, Sam thought it was her fiancée.

"Ashley?" she murmured, before it was all just too much and black overwhelmed her, rocking her away to oblivion.

* * *

A metallic hand, skin melting off of it, reached for her face.

"No!" Sam cried, sitting up to see she was actually in the medbay and the hand had been a dream.

"Whoa, calm down there, tiger!"

The voice was Shepard's. Blinking in the bright lights, Sam saw that Shepard, now in her uniform and not in her combat armor, was getting up from a seat near Chakwas's workstation. Right about then the pain hit, however. Wincing, Sam lay back down, the whole scene with the Cerberus machine coming back to her.

"Bloody hell," she murmured.

"You can say that again," Shepard said, appearing at her side. "What the fuck were you doing in there when EDI went nuts? Without telling anyone? Comms down?"

Sam opened her eyes, looking up at Shepard. The woman looked worried, pissed, and sympathetic all at once. "Adams ordered me in there when the ship started bucking." Her voice was scratchy, but it didn't hurt too badly. "EDI wasn't responding, comms were down. We couldn't communicate with anyone not in shouting distance."

Shepard knit her brows. "I'm gonna have to talk to Adams about sending people dangerous places on their own."

Sam shook her head. "Nobody thought it was dangerous, Commander. I went in there to sort through EDI's code and see what the issue was. We don't… we don't think like marines, ma'am. It was just where the proper computer terminal was located."

Shepard narrowed her eyes, then hung her head, shaking it. "You're right. I go in there alone all the time, even when it was where Legion spent his time."

Sam was confused. "Legion?"

Shepard shook her head again. "Don't worry about it, I'm just talking out of my ass. Do you remember everything that happened?"

Sam shook her head, trying to sit up only for her stomach muscles to protest mightily. "Oh, that hurts something awful," she murmured, suddenly feeling like she had that time an eight year old Richard had kicked her in the gut.

Shepard's arm went around her shoulders immediately, helping her to sit up. It disappeared as soon as she was upright, for which Sam was grateful. The woman's presence was alarmingly similar to Ashley's, her scent earthy, her body powerful, and it all worked to make Samantha incredibly uncomfortable. It also made her heart pang for Ashley.

"Did everything work out all right with EDI?" she asked.

Shepard opened her mouth, but EDI's holographic sphere popped up in the corner, her voice filling the room. "The Cerberus AI has been thoroughly deactivated, Specialist Traynor. The program has been fragmented so that it no longer has sapience or a will of its own. It will be destroyed completely soon."

Sam nodded. "That's good. But the data you needed was still there?"

"The data was in the hard drives in the mobile platform. I was able to isolate it as I disassembled it's program."

Sam smiled. "Excellent. And now you have a sex-bot body to use. That will be interesting."

Shepard smirked. "She can even join the ground team, apparently."

Sam's eyes got wide. "Ooooo that should be useful! She can hack with much more speed than any organic being, and can do it while also shooting. And if she does get shot, we don't lose her."

Shepard stared, mouth slightly open.

Sam blushed. "What?"

"I just… hadn't thought of it like that." She paused, then suddenly jumped. "Oh, I just remembered. Are you in pain? Chakwas gave me something to give you before she went to catch some sleep."

Sam furrowed her brows. "My entire body hurts. My back and shoulders especially. And my face. Why does my face hurt?"

Shepard smirked. "You had a pretty nasty electric shock and slammed your face into the ground, Traynor, not to mention the hit or two you took. Your shoulder was broken, though Chakwas fixed it. You look like you tried to headbutt a krogan."

Sam narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "You speak like you know what that's like, Commander."

Shepard grinned. "I do indeed know what that's like."

"I hope you at least had your helmet," Sam said with a wince.

Shepard shook her head. "Nope. Just my noggin. Where do you think this dashing scar came from?" she said, pointing to the fine white line that traveled from the center of her forehead through her left eyebrow. It wasn't wide or thick, but it was visible, the brow hairs not growing where it sliced through.

Sam had to admit it actually was quite dashing.

"From headbutting a krogan," Sam repeated incredulously, an eyebrow up.

Shepard snickered. "I know, I'm an idiot. Here, you want this or not?" She held up a vial of what was probably morphine.

Sam considered it for a moment. "Oh hell, why not?"

Shepard grinned, pushing the medicine into Sam's IV. "That's the spirit. Why pass up drugs when they're prescribed and sanctioned by your doctor?"

The effect was instantaneous. Sam felt it flood her system, and she sighed contentedly. "There is a reason this is still not available without a prescription," she said, settling into her body again. She could still sense the pain, but the morphine just made her not give a shit. It was _lovely_.

A chirping sound came from Chakwas's desk. Looking over, her vision following the movement of her head a second or two later, Sam smiled. "Is that mine? I have a call!"

Shepard laughed, going over to the desk and retrieving the skin-molding bracelet-computer for her. Sam grinned, answering immediately.

"Ashley!" she greeted excitedly, seeing her fiancée's beautiful face hovering before her.

"Hey, Sam." Ashley smiled, making Sam's heart soar.

"Goodness, I've missed you."

"Ash?" Shepard asked, perplexed, brows furrowed. "What… what are you doing calling my lead communications specialist at four in the morning? Or, you know, at all?"

"Oh!" Sam exclaimed, remembering Ashley had told her to let the cat out of the bag. "I forgot to tell you, Shepard! Ashley and I are engaged," she sing-songed, swaying happily back and forth in her seat.

Shepard gaped. "You're… engaged. To be married?"

Sam just giggled.

Ashley, on the other hand, frowned, her eyes traveling between Shepard and Sam. "Yeah, Miriam, to be married. What the hell is wrong with my fiancée?"

Sam did a little dance. "Chakwas has me on the Good Shit, Ash! I don't feel a thing!"

Ashley's voice took on a very measured tone, her frown deepening. "What?"

Sam continued to bounce around. A voice in the back of her mind told her she should be concerned, that she perhaps had said something she shouldn't have, but she ignored it. The world. It was bouncy.

Shepard cleared her throat. "I'll, uh… I'll just be goin-"

"Like _hell_ you will," Ashley nearly shouted. She was so sexy when she was angry. Also adorable. "Shepard, why is my fiancée high on painkillers? Why is her face all bruised?"

Shepard rubbed a hand over the back of her neck. "She, uh… well, you know that mech that injured you?"

Ashley's expression immediately clouded. "Yeah, the one that broke my _fucking_ neck?"

"Yeah, that's the one. It, uh… _might_ have trapped Traynor in the AI core with it while EDI tried to take control of the platform…"

Sam stilled, looking at Ash. She wore a tank top and no bra, and Sam suddenly very much wanted to see it off of her. "Ashley, it's been ages since we've had sex. What do you say to a little pick me up?"

Ashley shifted her gaze to Sam and sighed wearily. "Sam… Go to sleep, baby. You're high as a giraffe's vagina." Her eyes shifting, her expression not changing despite Sam giggling at her joke, she continued. "Miriam, transfer this call to your omni. We need to _talk_."

Her tone was deadly serious, and it only made Sam randier. But then Shepard was easing her down, and she was suddenly sleepy. She saw Shepard's remarkable ass disappear through the doors. She didn't get to say goodnight to Ashley. She missed her terribly. And _her_ remarkable ass.


	16. The Talk

**Ashley**

Ashley was silent as Shepard walked with her on her omnitool through the mess. As soon as the commander was on the lift, however, Ashley started in on her.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Miriam?! You let a non-com in there with that _thing_? Why is it even still on the ship? Why are you letting that AI of yours mess with it?"

"Ash, calm down-"

"I am _not_ going to calm down, Miriam! That is my _fiancée_! How would you feel if I let that happen to Liara?!"

"Williams, stand _down_ ," Shepard finally cut in, her tone stern, a frown slicing into her features. "You are _out of line_."

"Bullshit, Shepard. I don't take orders from you right now," Ashley countered, her expression mirroring her friend's. "You're endangering your crew for no good reason. Do the ends justify the means for you, Miriam? You're just like-"

"I _dare_ you to finish that, Williams." Shepard's voice was hard, deadly. Ashley had been about to say "Cerberus," and Shepard knew it. "Williams, that mech is staying on this ship. It has data we _need_ in order to win this war. This war is bigger than you, than me, than Specialist Traynor, or Liara, and you _know_ it."

Ashley snapped her mouth shut, only her deeply ingrained military training keeping her from retorting. Shepard was right. It pissed her off.

Shepard sighed, her expression softening. "Look, I… first, I had _no idea_ you guys were involved. Second, I'm not the one who ordered her in there with the mech. I wasn't even on the ship – I was saving Garrus's ass from a turian outpost on one of their moons. She got banged around a little, but she's okay. Shit like that happens sometimes, even to non-combatants. She's serving on an active-duty warship, Ash." She shrugged, letting her thought go unfinished. Finishing it wasn't really necessary. Ashley knew what she meant.

Ashley sighed, rubbing her hand through her hair. It was filthy. She seriously needed a shower. "I know, Miriam, I just… I can't _do_ anything from here! I call my girlfriend, our second time talking since I almost _died_ , and I find her high on narcotics with her face all bruised? I mean, shit, Shepard. Part of the point of being a marine is so the people we love don't have to get hurt."

"And then we hurt them by getting hurt. We can't win, Ash."

Ashley deflated the rest of the way at that. "Fuck. I hate it when you're right."

Miriam smirked. "You must be used to disappointment then."

Ashley snorted a laugh. "Ha ha, very funny, Skipper." Sighing, Ashley looked around her room, her eyes falling on the book Miriam had left for her. "Hey, thanks for the poetry. You remembered Tennyson's my favorite."

Shepard shrugged. "You're my friend. I don't tend to forget shit like that, Ash."

"Well, thanks. I appreciate it. I'm going a little stir-crazy here," Ashley said, intentionally side-stepping the potential opening to a conversation about their friendship.

Shepard allowed it. "You're up and moving around, though. That's good."

"Yeah. I'm progressing," Ashley said. "They won't release me to active duty yet – the bones are too freshly-healed and they're worried about some tendon or ligament or some shit I don't really remember. But I'm gonna see if maybe I can be released to sleep in an Alliance barracks, open up my room for someone else. God, Miriam… this hospital is already so full."

Miriam shook her head. "I know, Ash. And it's only gonna get worse from here. Supply shortages, hospital politics, greater station politics… So, let's talk about something good, instead. How on earth do you know Specialist Traynor?"

"I… met her on assignment," Ashley offered. She didn't want to bring up Horizon. It was where their big fight was, and things were _just_ starting to get back on track. Ashley wasn't yet willing to forgive, but she was willing to try to rebuild their friendship. No need to drag them through the muck right at the moment.

Shepard smirked. "I see that goofy grin on your face, Ash. There's more to it than that."

Ashley's grin deepened. "She, uh… well, it wasn't supposed to be serious. Just some fun, you know?"

Shepard grinned, a mirror of Ashley's. "I do. And then it turned serious, I'm guessing?"

Ashley blushed. "Yeah. Seriously, Skipper, I pulled a _you_ and caught some motherfucking feelings." They both laughed. "Luckily for me, she felt the same."

"So when did you propose? I didn't notice a ring?"

"She's, uh, actually the one who proposed," Ashley said, lifting her hand and briefly flashing her ring. "Um… the night before the Reapers hit, actually…"

Shepard whistled low. "Fuck, Ash… that's some seriously bad luck."

Ashley shrugged. "Nothing to do about it now. I just… I worry about her. Just sitting around is already taking its toll on me. I can't do anything to keep her safe. I haven't heard from my mom or the girls. The sitting and not _doing_ is driving me nuts. We're in a war! I'm a marine, dammit!"

Miriam shook her head. "I know, Ash. It's maddening. There's a reason I was in the gym so much after I turned myself in. I'd been moving, doing shit, since I found _you_ on Eden Prime. Shit, since before that. Ever since they found me on Mindoir, really. Then suddenly I was sitting with my thumb up my ass, doing _nothing_. Nothing about the Reapers, nothing about the destroyed relay, nothing about protecting all the people who thought I was nuts or lying. Just sitting. I didn't even have the extranet to keep up on news or contact anyone outside the Alliance. Just pre-loaded datapads with books, and the gym, and debrief after interview after court proceedings. Fuckin' military lawyers, man. They only wanna cover the Alliance's ass. Throw the rest of us by the wayside. Thank God for Anderson and Hackett."

Ashley felt a pang of guilt. "You mean you hadn't gotten a hold of Liara, either?" Here she'd been, falling in love, spending her time mooning over Sam to her mother, introducing the other woman to her family, and Shep had been right down the hall, unable to talk to _anyone_. Ashley could've _called_ someone for her, at the very least. She'd had no idea Liara was on Mars. _Fuck. All my friends were available, and all I've been able to think about was Sam…_

Shepard sighed. "Ash, there's… a lot has happened. Me and Liara, we're… complicated."

Ashley frowned. "Do you love her?"

Shepard's look said everything. She looked at Ashley like the LC was crazy. "Of course I love her. You know that."

Ashley brushed off the look. "Then what's so fucking complicated? I saw you two on Mars."

Shepard sighed. Her surroundings pitched on Ashley's vid screen, and then she was lying on her bed. "I love someone else, too. Because apparently I can't ever have sex with _anyone_ without catching the damn feels."

Ashley gaped. "Jesus Miriam! How the hell… when did you have time to get involved with someone else?"

Shepard got a shifty look. "She was on the ship with me…"

"I know that look, Miriam," Ashley said, eyes narrowed.

Miriam sighed. "She was my yeoman…" Ashley's jaw actually dropped. "I didn't plan it!" the commander said, defensive. "She came on to me! Besides, at that point, Liara and I were no-go. But we reconciled not long before the Collector base. She… she knew about Kelly, and we agreed we'd figure shit out once I got done with the Collectors. But then Kelly was abducted along with the entire non-com crew, and I saved her on the Collector base, and that has a funny way of making you realize how much you love someone. And then I didn't get any time to figure it out because I blew up a fucking relay and all the Cerberus personnel went on the run from the Illusive Man when I turned myself in to the Alliance. And I didn't hear from _anyone_ while I was incarcerated. Now I know Liara's safe, but Kelly's in hiding and I don't know where she is, and I love them both, and goddamn I am just a fucking idiot."

Ashley blinked a few times before responding with a smirk. "Feel better getting that hot mess out in the open, Miriam?"

Shepard glared a moment before shaking her head, a small smile pulling at her lips. "Yes."

"So Liara knows about this other girl. Is she not open to sharing you? Are you with them both? How does that work?"

"I'll let you know when I figure it out," Shepard sighed. "We haven't talked about it, to tell you the truth."

Ashley just gave her a look.

Shepard's face flushed. "I know, I know. She's busy, I'm busy. We picked up Garrus. Palaven's a mess. Now Hackett wants me to check something out on Eden Prime, of all places."

"Weird." Ashley hadn't been there since she lost her entire unit. Those were not memories she enjoyed recalling. "Glad I'm not there for that one, to be perfectly honest, Skipper."

Shepard nodded. "Yeah, I don't blame you. Was one hell of a thing, finding you there." She got a strange look. "Is it weird I'm grateful, in a way?"

"What do you mean?" Ashley asked, brows furrowed.

Shepard shrugged, making eye contact. "Well, I have all those people to thank for you, Ash. I know things are… not perfect. But you're still one of the best friends I've ever had."

Ashley was stunned. They… they didn't talk like this. Ever. They drank, checked out women, and shot at things together. They competed on how fast they could field-strip a weapon, or from how far away they could hit something. They did _not_ talk so candidly about their feelings. Not about each other, anyway. About other women? Sure. Ashley had helped Miriam sort through her feelings for Liara on the original _Normandy_. But this was… this was just weird.

Suddenly, Ash realized she'd left too much silence. "Their sacrifice gave me a lot of opportunity, it's true. Though I wish it hadn't happened like that," she said in a rush, trying to cover the awkwardness she'd created.

"Yeah," Shepard said with a nod. After a moment of silence, she sat up, sighing. "Listen, Ash. I gotta go. I haven't slept in more than a day, and we gotta go do this thing on Eden Prime in a few hours."

Ashley nodded. "Yeah okay. Just… Miriam. That girl. She means more than I can really put into words. She might be all the family I have left."

Shepard smiled softly. "I'll do what I can to keep her safe, Ash. Thanks for letting me know about her. Everyone's important, but I like to know when I've got something precious aboard."

"No problem Skipper. Later."

"Later."

The call ended, Shepard's face disappearing from the HI display in front of her. Sighing, Ash trudged over to her bed, grabbing the book of poetry. She hadn't been able to sleep – the whole reason she'd called Sam in the first place – but now she was exhausted. She'd been through a large range of emotions in the last twenty minutes. Settling in, she began on a poem at random – _Marriage Morning_ – eventually falling asleep with the book open on her chest, the last stanzas playing through her mind.

_Heart, are you great enough_

_For a love that never tires?_

_O heart, are you great enough for love?_

_I have heard of thorns and briers._

_Over the thorns and briers,_

_Over the meadows and stiles,_

_Over the world to the end of it,_

_Flash of a million miles._


	17. Eden Prime

**Samantha**

Once again Samantha found herself standing nervously outside Shepard's cabin. Twice in the span of, what, three days? Had it only been a week since they left the Citadel? Since the Reapers attacked? Already she felt drained.

_Come on, Sammy. That could easily be because you were attacked by a hostile AI program fighting for reign over its body last night. You know, a normal nighttime foray into the normal duties of a communications specialist._

Samantha sighed. If this was normal, then at least she'd have some good stories to share with her brothers. Thinking of her brothers steeled her resolve, and it was with a determined set to her lips and brows that she rang the chime on Shepard's door.

The door opened for her after a moment. Stepping through, Samantha stopped at the top of the steps, moving into a crisp salute. Shepard, sitting on her couch in fatigues and a loose t-shirt, smirked, returning the salute haphazardly from her seat. "At-ease, Traynor. Glad to see you're feeling up to being on duty. Having any residual pain?"

Samantha relaxed. "Yes, though it's nothing I can't handle. Chakwas gave me a… _mild_ painkiller this time."

Shepard mock-pouted, setting down a cup of coffee on the low table in front of her. "So no morphine-induced hilarity this morning? I'm disappointed."

Samantha's face immediately heated. "I… wanted to apologize for my behavior last night, Commander."

The commander grinned. "So you remember it, then?"

Sam shuddered. "Yes. Every excruciating moment."

"Awww, it wasn't _that_ bad, Specialist," Shepard said with a snicker.

Samantha shook her head, a small smile pulling at her lips. "Somehow I don't believe you, Commander. If I recall correctly, I told you in the most obnoxious way possible about my engagement to a good friend of yours, and then propositioned her in front of you."

Shepard nodded, her grin widening. "Yep, that's about how it happened."

"Christ Almighty, I make atrocious first impressions…"

"Nonsense. You made an awesome first impression – we geeked out for like an hour or something. It was great."

Sam just gave her a sardonic look. "Are you saying you'll magically forget last night?"

Shepard hesitated. "Good point." She winked. "But it's fine. You were on morphine. People say stupid shit when they're high. So long as it doesn't happen when you're not high – and so long as you're not high while on-duty – I can deal with a little weird behavior when you're prescribed narcotics by our doctor."

"I think I can manage that, Commander."

Shepard nodded. "Good. Though, I gotta say, I was surprised to find out about you and Ash being a thing."

Samantha smiled. "Yes, I… she asked me to let you know, but I completely forgot. We haven't had a chance to talk, really, since I officially introduced myself to you, ma'am. Not a lot of opportunities to just say something about my engagement."

Shepard nodded. "True. It'd be a hell of a non sequitur."

"Precisely." She hesitated before continuing. "Now that you know… will it be a problem?"

The commander's brows furrowed. "How would it be a problem? She's not even on the ship."

"Well, there are rules on the books…"

Shepard scoffed. "I don't give a shit about that, Traynor. You're capable and an adult. As long as you remain professional, I'm fine. I finally figured out why some nameless person was yelling over the comms on Mars, though…"

Samantha's face flushed, and she buried her head in her hands. "God, yes, that was me…"

Shepard's tone was gentle. "I can't imagine what that had to have been like, to watch that happen to your fiancée. It wasn't okay… but I looked in your record and saw that James already reprimanded you, so as far as I'm concerned, it's over and done with. You've been the picture of professionalism since, Specialist – minus last night, I suppose. And… to be perfectly honest, I think we all deserve to be let off easy for shit that happened the day the Reapers showed up. So… no harm done."

"I… thank you, Commander."

"No problem. Now, was there something else you needed?"

Sam's heart fell somewhere near her belly button. She'd managed to completely forget in her embarrassment. _Stupid, Sam. Complete blithering idiot_. "Actually, yes, Commander. I… I was doing some searching for various things this morning as my shift started, and…"

"You found something important?"

Sam nodded. "Yes, ma'am, I believe so. Do you know Grissom Academy?"

"I know it," Shepard said with a nod. "Sent a rather unfortunate victim of a bad Cerberus experiment there about eight months ago. Knew he'd be safe with them. What's up? Are they under attack?"

"I… I'm not sure, Commander. They've gone quiet, and it worries me."

Shepard's brows knit. "Lots of places have gone dark, Specialist."

"I- I know, Commander," Samantha stammered, knowing what Shepard was insinuating. Grissom, like those other places, was probably gone, which was unfortunate, but not worth investigating. "But this… this was different. The comm bouy in the system is intact, and the relay shows no sign of Reaper activity."

"Yeah, okay, that _is_ odd…"

"I did some research, did a little digging, and I finally found a backlog from the day before yesterday," Samantha rushed, pulling up the distress signal she'd found that morning. It had nearly caused her to lose the contents of her stomach. "As you can see, it was answered by a turian signal last night, but… it's a fake, ma'am. EDI recognized the signal from a mission while a part of Cerberus last year?"

Shepard, now looking thoroughly pissed, nodded. "Yeah. It's not worth explaining. It's Cerberus. Fucking hell…"

{ _Commander, we're ten minutes out from Eden Prime,_ } Joker's voice announced over the speakers in the room. { _Hopefully this time there isn't a rogue Spectre and a giant talking ship waiting for us. Given our luck in that arena, though, my money's on a giant space-faring beaver or something._ }

"Dammit." Shepard laid narrowed eyes on her. "We're _here_ dealing with Cerberus, too. Listen, add the location to the galaxy map with all the info you have. We'll head there as soon as we're done on the ground here, check out what the hell Cerberus wants with a bunch of biotic and techie kids. Good catch, Traynor."

Sam blushed. "Th- thank you, Commander."

"Just one thing."

Sam, just turning to leave so Shepard could get ready for the ground mission, turned back toward her commander. "Yes, ma'am?"

"Why so concerned about Grissom? It seems like something no one would've caught if they weren't specifically looking for it."

Sam's flush deepened. "I… admit, it was personal, ma'am. My brother is a first-year student in the new tech program with the Alliance. They receive their training and education at Grissom."

Shepard's expression of curiosity took on a definite frown. Nodding, she turned, heading for her equipment locker. "I'll do what I can, Specialist. Dismissed."

Blushing even further – she had forgotten to wait to be dismissed when Shepard had stopped her – Sam rushed out, somehow unable to shake the feeling she'd been chastised, and yet not able to really tell _how_.

She didn't make it very far, however, as on the other side of the door she ran face-first into a wall. Bouncing off of it with a yelp, she started to fall. The only thing that kept her on her feet were two three-fingered hands grabbing her arm.

"Whoa, gotcha!"

It wasn't a wall at all. It was a turian. In full battle armor, sans helmet. Staring up at him, Samantha was unable to process anything but just how _tall_ he was. He had at least a foot on Ashley, if Sam was any judge, which meant he stood at least a foot and a half taller than herself. Blinking, her mouth open, she didn't realize she was being rude until the turian chuckled, his hand scratching the back of his neck almost nervously.

"I guess I was right, Shepard – the scars really _do_ make the ladies speechless." The voice was male, dual-tone as turians' were. This was literally the closest she had ever been to any member of an alien species. Unless you counted Liara's hasty retreat a few days before.

Luckily, she remembered herself. _Finally. Jesus, Sammy._ "Oh, goodness, I'm so rude," she rushed, taking a step back and holding out her hand. "I- I'm Specialist Traynor. Thank you for keeping me from falling to the floor."

He smiled – at least, that's what Sam thought it meant when his mandibles moved in that way – and took her hand, utterly engulfing it with his own. He was gentle, however. For some reason that surprised the communications specialist.

"No problem. Garrus," he said. _I suppose that's his name?_ "You humans always think everyone else knows your greetings," he teased with a wink.

Samantha flushed. "I-I- I'm so sorry," she stammered, pulling her hand back and taking another step back, bumping into Shepard. She looked up, the commander smiling down at her. _God, her whole demeanor reminds me entirely of Ashley…_

"Runnin' into everything today, aren't you, Traynor?"

Sam swallowed. "I… can I just go, ma'am?" she squeaked. "Stop making a complete arse of myself and get back to my station?"

Shepard grinned. "I dunno. Maybe I'll make you follow me around the ship, see what else you get up to. You've already got a foot in your mouth. Think you got room for a hand or an elbow, too?"

Samantha buried her face in her hands. "Jesus, Mary, and Joseph I promise I will never talk to you again…"

Shepard laughed. "Go, Traynor! We have shit to do!"

"Roger that, Commander," Sam said, taking the opportunity presented to rush for the lift. "Good luck down there!"

Shepard smirked. "You're gonna see the whole thing, Specialist."

"Yes, but at least I don't have to talk to you except for official things." As the doors shut, she yelled out, "Bye!"

_Like a bloody fucking idiot, Sammy. Do us a favor and just shut your damn mouth next time, all right? Jesus._

Sighing, Sam stepped off the lift at the CIC, trying to forget all her social faux-pas of the last twelve hours. Hopefully Eden Prime would provide ample distraction for her…

* * *

Samantha stared open-mouthed at her screen. She'd seen the entire mission, all of the fighting, the endless Cerberus troops, the lifepod that held an _actual_ Prothean, still alive. She'd stared flabbergasted at her screen before a blinking dot on the galaxy map—showing a 3D representation of the settlement with the position of the troops on the ground—caught her attention. She'd interrupted the ground crew's conversation to let them know, and what had followed had been what felt like hours of constant, intense fighting. Sam saw it all. Everything Shepard saw, Samantha saw.

_That's not true. She seemed to understand those videos of static. Something about a Prothean Cipher? What the hell is that? And why is Dr. T'Soni so… nervous when talking directly to Commander Shepard? Aren't they lovers? Or something? You'd think she'd be more comfortable with the commander, not… unsure._

Now Samantha stood at her station, watching as Shepard got off the shuttle, turning around. She saw the shuttle, saw James, Garrus, and Dr. T'Soni exiting it, holding guns on…

{ _Javik_ ,} she heard a deep voice sound in her ear. Shepard had just asked the alien its name. If genders were the same for Protheans, he was male.

{ _Javik, I can't begin to understand how earth-shattering this is for you, but you need to understand that you can't just_ _ **touch people and invade their mind without their permission**_ _._ } Shepard spoke to the Prothean, her hands gesturing in front of her. Her voice was… Samantha was sure she heard anger and something else, tightly controlled. A glance down at her vitals showed an elevated heartbeat and rapid breathing. She was...

 _Shit, she's scared. The Great Commander Shepard is_ _ **scared**_ _. What on Earth did he do to her on that shuttle-ride?_ It was clear _something_ had happened, but the camera had been jostled a lot, and Samantha couldn't understand what the Prothean was saying. Nor could she understand Commander Shepard. No one understood her – she and the Prothean had started shouting at each other in a language no one recognized. It was chaotic and unclear, the Prothean grabbing Shepard, causing her to seize before James and Garrus both managed to make the alien let her go, and then they were shouting in that strange language, perplexing everyone.

Now, though, they were finally on the ship; Shepard had calmed down some, but was clearly still incredibly shaken.

The Prothean—Javik—seemed to hold great contempt as he answered her. { _You are weak, Miriam Shepard. You fight the Reapers, but you will not win. I care for nothing that concerns you. You are insignificant, and I will not deign to obey one who is so frightened._ }

{ _Watch your fucking mouth, Mr. Prothean Man_ ,} James growled, stepping between them. { _Commander, regs say he needs to be quarantined with an armed escort. With your permission, I'll take him. You should figure out what the hell he did to you before trying to talk to him again, ma'am._ }

Shepard started to speak, but a soft blue hand found her hand, and Shepard's helmet camera turned to see Dr. T'Soni, her helmet now off, looking on Shepard with a slight frown. Concern was obvious in her eyes. It was… strange, to have the asari looking at _Sam_ like that, as well. It made the communications specialist's heart pang for Ashley.

{ _He is right, Miriam_ ,} the asari murmured, likely not heard by the others, but picked up by the microphone on the collar of her armor.

Sam heard Shepard sigh, then the camera bobbed. { _Yeah, okay, take him, James. I'll figure out what to do with him later_.}

There were a few moments of silence as Garrus and James escorted the Prothean to the lift. Then Shepard finally took off her helmet, placing it on James's workbench before she disappeared from view. In the distance, Sam saw Steve Cortez, a man she hadn't gotten to know despite having been on the retrofits together, begin his post-flight checks of the shuttle. Shutting out the screen, Samantha prepared to begin her own post-mission checklists.

{ _Miriam, what did he do to you?_ } Dr. T'Soni's voice sounded in Samantha's ear, vague, like it was being picked up by a mic other than her own. Pulling up the proper screen, Samantha saw that Shepard's mic was still field-active.

_Shit I can hear them! The comms are still active; what do I do?!_

Samantha tried to interject, let her commander know she needed to stop transmitting like she was on the ground, but Shepard answered before Sam could do more than hover her finger over the command.

{ _He… melded with me? I think? But it was… forceful. I feel… like he took from me. I don't know what. He forced his way in, took something or maybe saw something, and then yanked himself out. Once he had what he wanted._ } A pause, and then, { _I feel like I did after the Prothean beacon_. _Funny that it would happen in the same place._ }

The asari's voice sounded aghast. { _A forceful meld… it is the highest, most atrocious violation._ } A pause, then, { _Come. We will clean you up, talk in your cabin. If you will permit it, perhaps I can even piece together what he did. Just like I did after the beacon gave you its warning._ }

Shepard sniffed slightly, more like she was exhausted than like she'd been crying. { _Yeah, okay. Just… gimme a minute before you meet me up there._ }

 _Oh thank God that wasn't too bad,_ Sam thought to herself. All she needed to do was wait a minute and then hail Shepard, pretend like she hadn't heard anything and had merely just noticed that the field-comm – which broadcast _all_ communications to the specialist on duty – was still active. No harm, no foul, no more social awkwardness on Sam's part.

{ _Hey, Traynor. I left this thing on. I'm sure you heard all of that, didn't you?_ }

Samantha's heart sank. _Shit_. "Uh, yes, Commander. I apologize. I tried to interject, but then you were speaking, and I'm far too British to just interrupt like that."

Shepard chuckled. { _Aren't you from a colony, Traynor?_ }

"Yes, ma'am. But my parents grew up in London. And it really did feel rude to just interrupt."

{ _I can see that. I trust you'll keep it to yourself?_ }

Samantha was taken aback. "Of _course_ , Commander."

Shepard's voice sounded incredibly tired. { _All right, good. I'll turn this thing off now. Then I'll only have EDI eavesdropping_.}

Samantha let out a small chuckle. "Roger, ma'am."

The signal quit broadcasting, leaving Samantha alone. With a heavy sigh, she closed all but one screen. Getting to work on her reports, Samantha tried not to think about what was going on with Shepard and that frightening alien who looked remarkably like those god-awful Collectors she had seen on Horizon. _I hope I don't meet him in the halls…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like more on this interaction between Shepard and Liara, check out Innocence Asunder, a companion one-shot to this story.


	18. Udina's Offer

**Ashley**

"I simply cannot let you out of this hospital yet, Commander!" Dr. Michele frowned at her. "Your neck was broken barely more than a _week_ ago!"

"But I'm doing okay!" Ashley reasoned.

"You are running around this hospital like you own it, Commander! If I let you leave? You would be running battle simulations on the roofs, conducting space-walks in full battle-armor on the outside of the Wards! With a recently-broken neck!" She paused, raising a perfectly manicured brow. "You know that I am right."

Ashley frowned for a second before shaking her head with a sigh. "Jesus, woman, you're just like my mother."

"Then I can only imagine she has a great deal more good sense than _you_ ," the doctor retorted.

Ashley grinned. "Well, she is a nurse and the mother to four crazy girls, and she did it mostly on her own, so…"

The doctor raised her brow once more. "I see. So perhaps not good sense so much as the stamina of a fully-matured krogan male?"

Ashley blinked a few times. "I… did you just say my mom has a quad?"

"You can interpret that however you wish, Commander. However, do not distract me – I cannot discharge you for at least another week, likely two. Your face is still a horror scene of bruises, you cannot fully turn your head, and you would likely pass out if you were to try a workout in full battle-gear – or if I took you off your pain medications. Besides all that, do not think I have not been speaking with Doctor Chakwas." Ashley let out a groan at this. "I follow _her_ recommendations, and they are that you stay here for at least another two weeks before being released to sleep in the Alliance barracks. And then another few weeks of physical therapy beyond that. Your _neck was broken_ , Commander. This is not a simple fix of a 'boo-boo'."

Ashley couldn't help it. She snorted out a laugh at that last line. Shaking her head, she relented. "All right, all right. Fine. You win. Geez."

The doctor nodded. "You will stay here, and you will get better." She paused, her expression taking on a more sympathetic quality. "You will fight for your home. My job is to get you well enough to be effective, and not die prematurely. I want you to be able to marry that fiancée of yours, Commander."

Ashley sighed, feeling the fight leave her as she did so. "Yeah. I… I've never sat out of a fight well. Ever. Sorry for being a pain in your ass."

Dr. Michele chuckled. "You are hardly the worst patient I've had, Commander. Remember, you met your quarian friend because of _me_. _That_ invited a whole _mess_ of trouble down on me."

The image of Dr. Michele with a thug's gun pressed to her temple flashed before Ashley's eyes. That was when she'd met Garrus. The turian sharpshooter hadn't hesitated, rounding the corner and planting a bullet between the thug's eyes the moment the oaf had been distracted by Miriam. He'd then coolly dragged the doctor out of harm's way and helped to dispatch the rest of the assholes shaking her down before going back to the doctor and pulling her to her feet, gently insisting she take a seat on her own biobed before she passed the fuck out. It had been Ashley's first real interaction with an alien, and she had been so surprised to find him both clean and efficient as well as compassionate. She felt dumb for that opinion now – people were complicated, and compartmentalizing was not a habit unique to humans – but at the time it had been a revelation, and she had wanted to see what made the man tick.

Now he was on the _Normandy_. And she was here. Under the care of the doctor that had brought them all together. How strange that it should happen that way.

Ashley was about to respond to the doctor when the terminal in the room began beeping with an incoming call. Ashley looked to the doctor apologetically.

"Saved by the bell, I see," Dr. Michele quipped, heading for the door. "I will leave you alone, Commander. But no more talk of being discharged, even with follow-up care, for at _least_ another ten days. Or the answer will be three _weeks_."

"Damn," Ashley whispered, shaking her head as the doctor left the room. She conveniently ignored the ache in her neck muscles from shaking her head like that, instead getting up and moving to stand in front of the terminal. Answering the call, she grinned broadly to see Sam's face.

"There you are," she said, seeing in the specialist's eyes that she was back to her normal self.

Sam had the good grace to blush. "Yes, I… apologize for last night."

"No need, baby. I'm just glad you're doing better. You scared me, Sam. I… I see your face is still bruised."

"I'm sorry, Ash. I… I wasn't expecting to get hurt. I was just going to check on something, and…" She trailed off, making a frustrated noise. "I can't tell you-"

Ashley held up a hand. "It's okay, babe. Shepard told me what happened. No need to go into details. How are you feeling today?"

Sam sighed, adjusting her neck and shoulders. She was clearly in the Engineering subdeck again. That would probably be one of the few places the specialist would be guaranteed even minor privacy on a crowded ship. She should just get used to it, she supposed. The lighting was bad, though, not showing all the details of Sam's face. It was also suggestive, reminiscent of a bedroom, and it made Ashley's heart ache just a little more to be with her fiancée.

"I'm feeling okay. I probably won't need painkillers tomorrow. I'll just be sore and bruised. Just like a marine, right?" A small smile pulled at her lips.

Ashley chuckled. "Just like a marine. Sam Traynor, Arms Master."

Sam chuckled, shaking her head. "Right. I could absolutely save the day. By cowering in the corner like I did when-"

"Hey," Ashley interrupted, scowling a little. Sam was referencing Horizon. "None of that. You were wonderful. You did what you needed to _despite_ being terrified. I'm glad I could take the shot for you, but I know you woulda been great and done it if you'd had to." She paused until she had Sam's big, brown eyes on her own. "You're not any less important for not being a combat specialist, Sam. Your work, the intel you provide, is _crucial_ to the mission being a success. And you know that; it's one of the first things you told me when you started flirting with me on that shuttle. So what's wrong?"

Sam sighed. "I'm fine, I just… I miss you. I accidentally eavesdropped on Commander Shepard and Doctor T'Soni, and it was so…"

"A hot mess?" Ashley supplied.

Sam smiled. "Something like that. There's obviously something between them, but it's incredibly strained, and it honestly just makes me miss you more. We're just so… uncomplicated. You love me, and you make sure I know it, and I don't have to worry about that. There's none of this awkward body language and not knowing what to say and… are we strange, Ash?"

Ashley wasn't expecting that. "I… what? What do you mean?"

"I mean… we've never really had a fight or a disagreement. We just…"

"Fuck a lot?" Ashley said with a grin.

Sam snorted a laugh, shaking her head. "Inappropriate!"

"And true."

Sam sighed, a smile still on her face. "Yes, all right, it's true."

"Very true," Ashley added, still grinning.

"Oh, you poor thing, you haven't had it in more than a _week_ ," Sam teased. "You must be about ready to explode."

Ashley smirked. "Laugh it up, princess. You're the one who pounces me at the door more often than not. And then there was that time you dragged me into the supply closet in Vancouver and-"

"Yes, okay, no more details please! I don't know who might be listening! Besides EDI, who is _always_ listening!" Sam almost shouted, her cheeks growing a little redder than the lighting could explain.

Ashley just continued to smirk, not saying anything else.

After a moment Samantha sighed again. "I… I just miss you, I guess. And watching two people fail so spectacularly at communicating with each other is making me _need_ to communicate with you. I'm craving normalcy, Ash."

Ashley's smirk softened. "All right, baby. Since I can't be there to fuck you silly-" Sam snorted a laugh "-let's talk. What's been going on?"

"Well, I can't give you the details, but I might see Timothy tomorrow. I _hope_ I'll see Timothy tomorrow."

Ashley nodded. That meant they were headed to Grissom. Ashley couldn't figure out why, but she wouldn't be able to ask what was going on with this unsecure link. "I hope so, too. Have you gotten a hold of anyone?"

Sam lost her smile, her lips thinning into a line and a crease marring her forehead. "No. It worries me. I think it's just because of the comm buoys being destroyed, but… I worry about my family. And I have _no_ way of finding out about your family – the only communication with Earth is via mobile QEC that isn't being utilized unless there's an emergency. I… I'm sorry I can't find them for you, Ashley."

Ashley shook her head. "I understand, baby. I'm lucky I can talk to _you_ , honestly. So many people don't even know how _any_ of their loved ones are doing. So… let's focus on something else. Any shenanigans on the ship?"

"Joker's been leaving me alone, though I suppose it's only been a week. Oh! Actually, I think it's _my_ turn to prank him... James and Shepard got into a bit of a brawl. They both had bleeding noses and puckered lips. But they seem to be getting along better now." Sam shook her head. "Honestly, you marines."

"Yeah, that sounds about right," Ashley said with a grin. "Sometimes we just gotta duke it out and then we're good."

Sam rolled her eyes. "Let's see… well, I had a good discussion with Shepard this afternoon. She teased the ever-loving hell out of me, and then I met Garrus Vakarian by running right into him and _he_ dished out the teasing, too!"

"Damn, girl! You can't catch a break, can you?"

Sam laughed. "I guess not! Honestly, I feel I should be given a break – I battled a robot last night and lived to tell the tale!" Sam shook her head while Ashley laughed. "Honestly, I don't see why Shepard has such a scary reputation. She seems incredibly laid-back to me. Teasing, smiling… she asks people their opinions and really listens."

Ashely nodded. "Yeah, she's all right. But she also has a temper, baby. Just… pray you're not on the receiving end."

Samantha furrowed her brows. "What… can you give me an example?"

Ashley thought for a moment. "Well… she punched a reporter once."

Sam just stared wide-eyed for a moment. "She _what_?!"

Ashley grinned. "Yeah. Liara had just sent her mom's body to go back to Thessia, and this reporter comes in and starts asking Liara if she plans to go back to stripping and dancing and Miriam just calmly steps up and _decks_ her. It was fucking _awesome_. She didn't even give a fuck that the camera was rolling. Just put her arm around Liara's shoulders and led us away, leaving that Al-Jilani woman on the ground."

Sam's eyes were big. "Wow. I never would have thought."

Ashley nodded. "Yeah, she's… a _bit_ protective."

Sam was quiet for a second, giving Ash a look she recognized. "What?" she asked.

"I… can't help but notice that you seem to be a bit more agreeable on the subject of Shepard."

Ashley just blinked for a second. "Uh… yeah, I guess you're right."

"So I suppose that means you had a good chat after I tried to get you to take your clothes off?"

"Heh, yeah, we did. She… I miss her, Sam. I'm tired of being mad, but… I can't just ignore who she worked for."

Samantha sighed. "I know, Ash. You'll… you'll figure it out. But… I need to know something."

"What?"

"Will you be horribly offended if I end up friends with her, too? It's just that she's my commander, and I have to work rather closely with her, and… well, I like her Ash. She seems like a good person. I know why you're angry, but for me… she kept my family from being abducted, and-"

Indignation flared, wounding Ashley's pride. "I… thought _I_ kept you safe…" She felt like a child, but it was out, and it _did_ hurt.

"Oh Ashley that's not what I meant!" Sam rushed. "I just meant that she's the one that got the Collectors to leave, and I… am shutting up now. Shit. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I can't quite get it right today, it seems. Keep getting my foot stuck in my mouth."

Ashley sighed. "It's okay. My pride and I will have a chat and I'm sure we'll both get over it. You're right, I couldn't have fought them off myself. Shepard is the one who chased them off the planet. I just… God, it kills me I can't keep you safe, baby."

"Well, get better, and come onto the _Normandy_. I want you back, so I can welcome home the conquering hero again."

An image came to mind, of Sam welcoming her into the specialist's bed on Horizon each night after a full day of hard work directly after the Collector attack. It… it had been what had sealed Ashley's fate. She'd allowed herself to fall in love the rest of the way, their short time together be damned.

"I'm working on it, Sam. Is… is there any chance I'll get some warning when you get here next?"

Sam shook her head. "Not from me, I'm afraid. I can't say anything about where we'll be. Maybe you can check in with Alliance HQ? Maybe you can register us with them while you're at it?"

"Yeah, okay… God, so unromantic. Like going to the damn DMV," Ashley said with a dramatic sigh.

Sam giggled. "I-"

They were interrupted when the door to the room slid open, a nurse appearing through the privacy-screen. "I apologize, Commander Williams, but you have a very important visitor."

Ashley frowned. "No one's more important than the person I'm currently on a vid-call with."

"Oh, Ashley, honestly," Sam started, but was again interrupted.

"I'm sorry, but it is Councilor Udina, Commander."

"Oh. Shit. Um…"

Samantha cleared her throat. "I'll go. Call me later?"

Ashley nodded. "You got it, babe. Hey."

"Yes?"

"I love you."

Samantha smiled, a warm, open thing that only came out around family. "I love you, too. Bye, Ashley."

"Bye."

Taking a deep breath, Ashley turned just in time to see the human Councilor enter the room. "Councilor Udina," she greeted, feeling entirely underdressed. "I apologize I'm not in uniform."

"Please, it is quite all right," he countered, taking the hand she held out. "It is good to see you in one piece."

"What can I do for you, sir?"

"I'll get right to the point, Commander Williams. I have a proposition for you…"

* * *

Ashley walked as if in a daze. She had sat and listened while Udina had proposed she be the second human Spectre. He had said that while Shepard had done her people proud, she was not the ideal Spectre he had hoped she would be. Miriam had a huge black mark on her record – working for Cerberus – and before that had kept screwing the pooch during their chase through the galaxy of Saren. Ashley hadn't been happy to hear that, but at the same time… she couldn't help but think what he had to say made at least _some_ sense.

Then he had thrown out his nuclear weapon.

" _This will be a chance to redeem your family, Lieutenant-Commander. To remove the black mark brought on by your grandfather and to put your name in the history books in a positive light. Think about it, Commander… This would be an excellent way to start your new family."_

He had then walked out, leaving her to ponder his words. After about ten minutes of sitting dumbly staring at the wall – thinking about her father, her grandfather, her childhood spent struggling because her dad couldn't get a raise, how her mother's family hated her father and didn't really want much to do with the kids – she finally left the fucking hospital room. Now she wandered out into the lobby.

It was much less crowded than it had been the first week. _God, what's it been, ten days since the Reapers invaded? Not even? No wonder Dr. Michele is so adamant about keeping me here longer. Reckless, Ash. Dad woulda said so, even._ Shaking her head, she found who she was looking for – and hadn't even known she was looking for until she found him.

"Hey, Thane," she greeted as she drew near, getting his attention from staring out the window. He'd told her about a drell's perfect memory, and how it was both a blessing and a curse. She did not envy him that, getting lost in every mistake she'd made. She did that sometimes even _without_ perfect memory. They'd had many conversations over the last several days, building up a guarded trust and friendship. He had continued to ask her about her religion, and her about his, and it had devolved into conversations about family and loss and everything else one might talk about. She was surprised to find they had a lot in common. And she mourned for his losses. He had told her that, more often than not, his memories showed him the horrifying moments, and not the wonderful moments of love and light experienced with his family.

Thane blinked, looking up at her as she came to sit next to him. "Ashley. Hello. I hope you were not calling my name multiple times?"

She shook her head. "No. Still haven't snuck up on you," she said with a smile.

Nodding, he hummed. "Good. Then my reflexes have not atrophied too badly."

"How are you feeling today?"

Blinking his strange blink a few times, Thane seemed to assess himself. "I am… all right. My fingers are a bit tingly, but overall I feel better than I have felt the last several days."

"What were you thinking about this time?"

He actually smiled. "My wife, Irakah. I was thinking about… the good times. The intimate moments."

Ashley grinned a little. "Yeah? I'm glad. Nothing like those moments with a beautiful woman who loves you."

"Yes. I… am sorry you are deprived of them with your intended."

Ashley slouched back in her chair. "Yeah, it's the fuckin' pits, but I can't change it. Only thing I can do is get better."

"You seem to be doing all right, all things considered," he pointed out.

Ashley sighed. "I know. But they also still have me on some pretty heavy painkillers, and when you and I are done I'll probably be ready for a nap, so…"

"So you must be patient and let your body rest and heal. It is difficult for those of us who fight, who move constantly."

"You… you fight?" This was news.

He blinked a few times. Was he uncomfortable? What didn't he want to share? "Yes, though I am not in good enough health to fight any longer. I… was an assassin for the Hanar, and after that I free-lanced. It is… it is why my wife was killed. I am not proud of the dark things I have added to the world through my contracts. It was not I who ultimately condemned those people to death, but I have accepted that I had some part, thanks to a very good and persistent friend. I pray for forgiveness, and have done what I can to repent. Now I await my death, and hope to see my wife once more across the sea."

Ashley was stunned. "I…"

"I am not looking for your approval or sympathy. I am at peace with it. They are my sins to live with, as the souls you have taken from this world in the line of duty are yours." He wasn't angry as he spoke, merely stating facts.

And he was right. "Okay, I got you. Is… is that why things are so strained with your son?"

He nodded. "I abandoned him to be raised by family. We only became reacquainted in the last 8 months. He is a man now." He looked away. "I will never see him marry or produce children. But he visits daily and we talk. I am content, despite his fussing."

Ashley was quiet for a moment. Talking to Thane always put her life in perspective. She was troubled by Udina's offer, yes, but she was young, her life hopeful. Thane was watching the galaxy crumble and was dying; he could do nothing about it. If they did succeed, he probably wouldn't see it. Ashley merely had to heal and then could go and _do_ something. Hell, she had the opportunity to become a Spectre! With those kind of resources? She could do a whole lot.

"What is troubling you, Ashley?"

Ashley shook herself out of her reverie. Looking over to him, she saw the drell's somber eyes focused intently on her. "I… I just had a weird conversation. With the human Councilor, of all people."

Thane didn't say anything, merely nodded and continued holding her gaze. It had taken her a while to realize it was just how he was. He wasn't staring, he was just looking. Different species had different social cues. Hell, even among humans it changed from culture to culture. So she pushed her discomfort aside – it felt like he was staring right into her soul – and continued her explanation.

"He wants to make me the next human Spectre. I… don't really know how to feel about it."

"That is an honorable title to hold. One can do much good with it. But Spectres also have a reputation for doing whatever is necessary to get something done, even if innocents must be sacrificed." Blinking, Thane settled back in his chair. "And you would be loyal to the Council, not your Alliance."

"Well, _in addition_ to the Alliance, which can get sticky," Ashley corrected. Sighing, she slouched further in her chair. "I hate Udina, but… he had some good points. Shepard hasn't exactly been the exemplary human Spectre, and my record is way less stained. And I'd be able to lift my family off the blacklist of doom. I…"

"You know Commander Shepard?" Thane asked, completely derailing Ashley's thoughts.

"I… yeah. I served on the original _Normandy_. I was on Eden Prime when the geth attacked. Why? Do _you_ know her?"

He nodded. "Yes. I served on the _Normandy SR-2_. I was on the Collector base with her." Pausing, he added quietly, "She is the one who helped me reunite with my son, who woke me up from my battle-sleep and made me see that I was not merely a weapon."

To say Ashley was shocked would be a _severe_ understatement. "I… shit. Talk about a fucking coincidence."

"Perhaps it is not a coincidence. Perhaps we were supposed to meet," he said, fixing his gaze on her once more, making her straighten a little in her seat.

"I… you worked with Cerberus, Thane. I can't…"

He blinked. "We used Cerberus resources, but I worked for Commander Shepard. Even the Cerberus members of the crew fled from Cerberus when the ship docked here at the Citadel to be turned over to the Alliance."

Ashley sighed. "I was the one she turned it over to."

Thane just smiled. "Hardly a coincidence, then. We were meant to cross paths."

"I…" Ashley groaned, frustrated. "How do I trust her again? She's not even _remorseful_ that she was with Cerberus!"

"Ashley, she did not have much choice, as far as I understand it. The Alliance wasn't doing enough to save its colonies, and Cerberus was willing to write her a blank check, as I believe the human expression goes. They-"

"The Alliance was doing _plenty_ ," Ashley huffed defensively. "I was on Horizon. We just didn't know it was the Collectors who were abducting our colonists."

"Ashley… you were _lured_ to Horizon. As was Commander Shepard. As were the Collectors. By the Illusive Man. He is your true enemy. He is the puppeteer."

Frowning, Ashley sat up straight. "What… what do you know? Tell me what happened on that ship, Thane. I… I want to trust my friend again."

He was quiet for a moment. Adjusting his seat, he began to speak. "I was not brought in at the beginning, however, from what I know…"


	19. Grissom Academy

**Samantha**

"Specialist Traynor."

Sam turned to see Shepard in full hardsuit – white with blue detailing – stepping off of the lift, helmet tucked under one arm. It was a rather attractive pose, and Sam found herself blushing slightly as the thought occurred to her. She wished she could see Ashley like that.

She also _really_ needed to get laid.

"Yes, Commander?"

"I'm sure you know we'll be at Grissom in about ten minutes."

"Yes, Commander, I'm aware."

Shepard nodded, looking away for a moment before her eyes met Sam's, her gaze intense. "I need you to be real with me, Traynor. Should I relieve you of duty for this mission? I can have Rajad come on duty early, have you finish the second half of his shift later."

Samantha's heart sank. "I… if you think that's best, Commander…"

"I didn't say that's what's best, Traynor," Shepard responded. Samantha's eyes snapped back to Shepard's as the commander continued. "I'm asking _you_ : Do you think I should? Can you handle this? I know it's your little brother, and with Mars…"

"I understand, ma'am," Sam said, nodding. "I lost it that day. You can't trust me-"

"That's not what I'm saying, Traynow." Shepard's voice was low and gentle, her gaze sympathetic. It was almost unnerving to see in the normally playful and flirty woman, dressed for battle as she was. "I'm asking you what you want. You're easily my best communications officer. Your work is miles ahead of Rajad's, and your initiative outmatches his as well. Halanz is good, too, but she's timid. She hasn't learned when to be proactive. I need you on this mission, with Cerberus here. But only if you think you can do it."

Samantha, her face fully flushing as Shepard listed off her attributes, straightened. "I can do this, ma'am," she said simply. "The outburst with Lieutenant-Commander Williams was an isolated incident. I was ill-prepared for combat and taken by surprise by the day's events. That is no longer true, and will not be true again in the future. I… would like a chance to prove myself, Commander."

Shepard smiled. "And no doubt to help save your baby brother. Be the techie hero."

Samantha couldn't keep the smile from her lips. "That, too, ma'am. I can't let you take all the techie glory." Her face fell, however, as she continued. "I know I can do this, Commander. I… I won't let you down again."

Another sympathetic expression from Shepard. "You haven't let anyone down, Sam."

Samantha didn't know what to say in response, but was saved the need as Shepard nodded, reaching up and pulling her helmet on. "Just keep doing that good work, and we'll save these kids. Oh, and, uh… strap yourself into your safety harness. I asked Joker to use the ship as bait so my team can slip in unnoticed."

"We're… _bait_?"

She couldn't see it, but Samantha knew the commander was grinning behind her helmet. "What? You never been on a ship baiting a bigger ship before?"

Sam shook her head, unable to keep a smile off her face. "No, ma'am, I can't claim that _particular_ achievement on my résumé."

"Well, give it another fifteen minutes, and you _can_ ," Shepard said, then turned, heading for the lift. "I'll be in touch."

"Right, ma'am."

As the lift opened, the white and blue helmet turned to face her. "Sam?"

"Yes, Commander?"

"What's his name?"

Sam felt warmth spread through her at the question, and she smiled slightly. "His name is Timothy, Commander. Timothy Traynor."

The helmet nodded, and the commander disappeared into the lift. This time, as the doors closed, Sam felt only hope blossoming in her chest, instead of the dread she'd felt as Ashley had disappeared two weeks earlier.

* * *

Joker's voice sounded not in her ear but all the way from the cockpit. "Woo-hoo! Got the last one of those sons-a-bitches!"

"Does that mean we can stop swooping around like a bloody jetfighter?" Sam murmured under her breath, taking advantage of the calming of the ship to look at the screen in front of her. Her safety harness, around her shoulders and waist but anchored underneath her console, had kept her from flying when she lost her footing, and the inertial dampeners were working stellarly, keeping the stumbling down to a minimum, but even still she would sport several bruises come the next morning. _Nothing compared to what the ground team is going through_ , Sam reminded herself as she took in the scene on the space station through Shepard's helmet camera.

Shepard, Liara, Garrus, James, and EDI's mobile unit had worked their way steadily through the station, taking out Cerberus soldiers as they went. It was bloody work, but the team was efficient, dropping the enemy soldiers without too much fuss and moving on. The chatter was down to a minimum, as they wanted to keep their presence as confusing as possible and Sam had informed Shepard that Cerberus was attempting to hack their communications. Sam had been waging a war against the multiple hacking attempts ever since.

Shepard had the biotic students now, but Timothy was not among them. Sam's heart had nearly fallen right out of her and onto the floor when she'd realized this, but she soldiered on regardless. These were only the biotic students, after all. The students working in the tech program – among which Timothy numbered – were not with the teacher. _Someone named Jack? Shepard and Garrus seem to know her…_

She watched as the door in front of Shepard opened… onto a huge battlezone.

{ _Run!_ } Shepard shouted. { _Scatter!_ }

The camera jostled, the floor coming up to meet Samantha's screen. It took her a moment to realize Shepard had probably taken a running leap, rolling and popping back up behind a pillar. The fighting was furious. There was an atlas off in the distance, sending rockets toward them, the resulting explosions showering the ground team in white-hot twisted metal debris.

{ _We need to take down that atlas!_ } she heard Shepard shout after the view showed the atlas surrounded in a halo of smoke before ducking back behind the pillar. { _It's gonna blow a fucking hole in the side of this station!_ }

{ _You and me can take care the foot soldiers_ ,} Garrus's voice piped in through Sam's radio. { _Let Vega and Liara get in there and take it down! We just need someone to take down these damn external shields!_ }

{ _I will disable their shielding, if someone can get me close enough_.} It was strange hearing EDI's voice through the radio, knowing she was on the ground _and_ running many of the ship's systems. _I hope she has the processing power for all of that…_

The plan worked, and Samantha watched in awe as James and Liara got close, ravaging their way through the ground troops so EDI could disable the external shield pylons. She then took out the atlas's shields, allowing Garrus and Shepard the opportunity to snipe the pilot of the thing from afar. A well-placed biotic pull had the power unit of the machine in Liara's hands, disallowing anyone else from piloting the thing, effectively disabling it _without_ further explosions.

The last few Cerberus soldiers fell without a hitch after that, Shepard making an incredibly impressive shot through the slit of one of those seemingly-impenetrable metallic shields. Sam had a rather off-putting realization that Ashley could likely do that, too, if she was truly as good as she said she was. It was never a brag when Ashley said it, merely the statement of fact, an ability of hers that might go on her résumé or something like that. Very much like how Samantha was good at strategy games and compiling multiple QEC sources into a single communications network, Ashley could snipe an elusive target from too many meters away for Samantha to even be able to distinguish a still and silent person from the background.

She had no time to linger on it, however. Shepard's team was moving now, heading for the shuttle. They still had not found the missing students from the tech program…

Up ahead on Shepard's screen, Sam saw a group of students behind some kind of energy barrier. Shepard was already speaking to them. { _Hey, kids, it's okay, we're Alliance, here to help you. We've already got Jack and her biotic students_.}

{ _How do we know you're telling the truth? That could be a convenient lie to get us to listen to you_.}

That voice!

"Commander?" Samantha said shakily, her heart suddenly pounding a million miles a minute.

{ _What is it, Specialist?_ }

"The boy who just spoke… that's Timothy."

{ _Good. Maybe you can convince him to listen to me, then_. _I'm gonna broadcast your voice, okay?_ }

A second later Sam saw the icon letting her know she was on speaker-phone, as it were. "Timothy?" she tried, hoping her voice wasn't too shaky.

The boy, whose features were now recognizable with Shepard's closer proximity to them, straightened, his determined scowl faltering. { _Sammy?_ }

She nodded, then realized he couldn't see it, ignoring the tear falling down one cheek. "Yes, Timothy! There's no time to explain, but you can trust Commander Shepard. We're here on the _Normandy_ to help Grissom Academy."

{ _I… yeah, okay. I'll… see you on the ship?_ }

Shepard answered for her, as the icon disappeared on Sam's console. { _Damn right you will. We just have a little more push left. Go join Jack on the upper level, kids. We'll draw their fire while you guys get on the escape shuttle._ }

* * *

Samantha tried not to pace. Her shift was not technically over, and there was plenty of work that needed to be done now they had evacuated those Alliance personnel ( _Kids! They're kids, not personnel! Damn this war!_ ) on the station. So she threw herself into it, knowing she would be able to see and speak with Timothy when she was done, when her shift was over and Rajad ( _wanker_ )took over her work station. In the meantime, she would simply arrange for their care with Alliance Headquarters.

She was never allowed to finish, however. { _Sam, get down here!_ }

Samantha furrowed her brows, looking to see that the team's synced communication was off and Shepard was speaking to her over the ship's internal radio.

"Ma'am?" she answered, not sure what was going on.

{ _There's a celebration going on in the mess, and the only person we're missing is you! Get your ass down here!_ }

"I… I have work to do, ma'am. They need to go somewhere…"

{ _Let EDI do it. She just demonstrated she can be in combat on the ground_ _ **and**_ _in the air as the Normandy. She can arrange the transfer of the kids._ } There was a pause before Shepard continued, her voice gentler. { _Your brother is asking after you, Sam. You should be here. Captain's orders_.}

Samantha's heart warmed. She could see how Shepard was so charming, so easy for people to fall in love with. She was a badass woman who could take down an atlas with a sniper… and incredibly warm and caring when the situation called for it. And she could take a joke, too. Really, what wasn't to like?

_What did she do that has Dr. T'Soni so reticent?_

"Captain, is it? Did I miss the promotion?"

Shepard's bark of laughter sounded before she answered. { _Laugh it up, Specialist. One day. One day I'll get that_ _ **fucking**_ _promotion. Seriously, Spectre and war hero, but they can't make me a damn captain? Technically this isn't even my ship yet – I'm commanding in Anderson's absence. Ugh. Get your ass down here, Samantha, and stop reminding me of my failings. That's an order._ }

Samantha smirked. "Aye-aye, ma'am. I'll be down in a moment."

"I will handle the arrangements, Specialist Traynor," EDI intoned, and Sam watched as her console was logged out and shut down without any intervention on her part.

"You know you're kind of scary sometimes, right EDI?"

"I like to occasionally remind the humans of who is _really_ in charge," the AI's voice deadpanned. After a pause, in which Sam merely stared up at the ceiling open-mouthed, EDI qualified her statement with, "That was a joke."

Shaking her head, Sam chose to ignore the creepy AI's attempt at humor and headed for the lift. Her baby brother was alive and well. But she needed to see him in the flesh, just to make sure.

The scene presented to her when she stepped off the lift was pandemonium. Drinks and food had been brought out from God only knew where. She didn't have eyes for any detail but one, however, and she stood at the edge of the mess, scanning the crowd of thirty teenagers plus ten or so adults, unable at first to find the dark skin of her brother's face. But then a boy in the corner, speaking with Commander Shepard, turned around, and it was Timothy, and she shouted his name, uncaring that it caused a cessation of background noise in the room.

She ran, and he ran, and then her feet left the ground as her baby brother, anything but a baby, lifted her off her feet in a great bear hug that engulfed her in his familiar scent. He smelled like their father, and like grease and metal and the smell of military-grade laundry detergent, and it was familiar and wonderful and she couldn't help the tears that finally escaped. It had been nearly two weeks since the invasion of Earth, and the stress of being unable to get a hold of her family, or Ashley's, of not feeling her fiancée in her arms or hearing her stupid brothers' voices, of not speaking with her mother about wedding plans or her father about how the family dog was doing, had taken their toll on her psyche and she was only really realizing how much her worry had preoccupied her thoughts in this moment.

"Hey, Sammy," her brother murmured, not shying away from her tears, merely putting her back down and keeping hold of her. "I'm here, I'm okay, nothing happened to me."

She got control of her tears rather quickly, shaking her head and laughing a ridiculous laugh. "Of course nothing happened to you. But I worried regardless." She moved away from him a little, taking in his tall frame, his tousled hair, his cadet's uniform. "You cut a striking figure in that uniform, Tim."

He smiled, moving away fully. The noise in the room started up again, but Sam heard the whispers. Were they related? Was that Tim's girlfriend? What the hell was that all about? She was suddenly embarrassed by the spectacle she'd made.

It didn't last long, however, as Tim asked her the question of the hour. "Have you heard from Mum? Dad or Rich? Is Ashley on the ship?"

Sam sighed, her heart sinking. Shaking her head, she threaded her arm through his. "Let's go somewhere quieter to talk, yeah?"

Worry knitting his eyebrows, he nodded. "Yeah, okay. No one's dead, though?"

"I don't know, Tim. I don't know…"

* * *

"So you're engaged."

Sam nodded, smiling as Tim inspected her hand.

"But you don't have a ring…"

She laughed. " _I_ proposed to _her_. _She_ has a ring. She's… working on getting me one in return."

He nodded. "I suppose that makes sense. When are you going to do it?" He winked, fully aware of the double entendre he'd just made.

Sam just rolled her eyes, taking a sip of the beer she'd found under the bar in the lounge, where they now sat. "That's… kind of a difficult question to answer at the moment. She doesn't even know when she'll be fit for duty and able to return to the ship." _**If**_ _she can return to the ship, Sammy. You should think about talking to Shepard about that one at some point._

He nodded again, sipping at his own drink. "I can see that." He paused, looking out the window at the stars. "You think we'll ever see them again?"

Her heart broke at the way he said it. So stoic. Nothing like the emotional little boy who had come running and crying to her when his cat was killed when he was five. This was harder. This was so much harder than if he would just _be sad_ , show how much it hurt him to not know if he'd ever see his twin brother, their mother, their father, again.

But no. He had to be bloody _stoic_.

She put a hand on his shoulder. "I don't know, Tim. Communication with the colonies is… nonexistent at the moment. I don't know if we'll ever hear from them."

He just nodded again. "Fuck."

She snorted a laugh. She couldn't help it. But it subdued quickly.

After a few minutes of quiet contemplation, she got up.

"Where are you going?"

"Fancy a game of chess?" she asked.

He smiled. He knew her well enough to know that's how she processed things. A good solid game of chess did wonders for one's mood. At least, it did for Samantha.

"Sure, Sammy. But don't expect me to go easy on you."

She smirked, heading for the door. "As if I _need_ you to."

Retrieving the GUI board she'd bought on the Citadel after seeing Ashley in the hospital, Sam set them up to play at the low table in the middle of the room. It would be a quiet, somber afternoon, but they would be together, and that was what they really needed. She just felt bad she couldn't make something like this happen for Ashley.


	20. Reunited and It Feels So Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut-alert.

**Ashley**

"I do not know whose wheels you've been greasing, but I have a writ here to discharge you from twenty-four-hour care to an apartment. Directly from the _Council_."

Ashley looked up as Dr. Michele came to stand next to her bed. The lieutenant-commander had been lying down and reading, thinking about Udina's offer and her conversation with Thane two days before.

"Wheels? What?"

Dr. Michele raised an eyebrow, handing over the datapad in her hand. Ashley read it, eyes widening. "The Council is housing me in an _apartment_?! Holy shit… I thought the best I'd get would be Alliance barracks that smelled like _showered_ marines!"

"Well, apparently Councilor Udina has taken a special interest in you, and thought you would be more comfortable spending your free time in your own space." The doctor crossed her arms. "Did you put him up to this?"

Ashley looked back up from the datapad. "What? No! He came in here, offered to make me a Spectre, then left! I didn't even say much!"

The doctor sighed. "These politicians think they know better than doctors…"

Ashley scratched the back of her neck. "So… if I go, can someone else use this bed at least? I'd free up space, yeah?"

Dr. Michele gave her a look, one that reminded Ashley of her mother. "If I let you go, will you be here every day for your therapy and check-ups?"

"Scout's honor," Ashely intoned, putting on her best Serious Face.

"Hmmm… All right, fine. You may go today. But if you are even one minute late you will be checked right back into this hospital and I will not discharge you until you can do a backflip with no medication. Understood, Commander?"

Ashley blinked a few times, processing the threat. She had never onces been able to do a backflip. "Understood, Doc."

"Very well. Now. You have a visitor, who I imagine can help you move your things into your new quarters."

"Ashley!"

Before she could really see who the opening doors revealed, a very warm and familiar Samantha was practically on top of her in the hospital bed.

"Sammy?!"

She couldn't get much else out as her lips were suddenly covered. That delicious smell of cream enveloped her, hot and sweet; warm, calloused hands caressed her cheeks, her shoulders, her waist; familiar lips molded to her own, causing a thrill to run down her spine. Her own hands traced familiar curves of face, hips, and thighs. She kissed that woman back as hard as she could.

"Jesus, get a room, you two!"

Sam pulled back, breaking the kiss and breathing heavily, washing Ashley in her gorgeously familiar breath. "Sorry," the other woman breathed, her eyes twinkling, letting Ashley know she was _far_ from sorry. Near the door stood Shepard and, miraculously, Timothy.

"Hey Miriam, Tim," Ashley greeted, knowing she wore the biggest shit-eating grin on her face. Her hands tightened on Sam's hips as the communications specialist began to pull away further. "Where you goin'?"

Shepard snorted, moving fully into the room. "Doc said you needed moving. Mind if we help?"

Sighing, Ashley let her head fall back on the pillow, loosening her hands and allowing Samantha to get up. "Sure, why not? Doc won't let me lift more than ten pounds at the moment, and she meant _business_ about me being checked back in if I disobey her orders."

"Well," said Samantha, her voice a small purr. "We can't have _that_ , now can we?"

"Gross, Sam, Jesus," her brother said with fake disgust, his eyes twinkling the same as hers.

Ashley snorted. "Like that's the worst you've heard from us."

"I doubt it'll be the worst I'll hear _today_ ," he quipped with a wink.

Shepard clapped her hands, rubbing her palms together as she looked around the room. "Well, I can see you're all a big happy family. Why don't we get you into this swanky new place and get some pizza or something, yeah?"

Ashley sat up – slowly. She was still on some pain medication, and it tended to make her dizzy if she moved too quickly. "Yeah, okay. Not like I have a whole lot of stuff here."

"Do tell me you at least have shoes?" Samantha asked, looking at Ashley's bare feet before her eyes searched the room.

"I… you know, I don't think I do… Haven't had the need to visit Alliance Requisitions."

Shepard chuckled. "All right. I'll give them a call, have a delivery made. In the meantime, get some hospital slippers and let's get this show on the road!"

* * *

The door opened on a modest studio apartment. A _furnished_ studio apartment.

Shepard gave a low whistle. "Damn, LC. This place makes my cabin look like a tent out in the woods. Who's dick did you suck to get it?"

"What the hell did I do to deserve _this_?" Ashley agreed quietly, looking around. A large bed was up against one wall, a small kitchen in the corner with a dining table against the wall. A door near the bed opened on a decent-sized bathroom, and in the middle of the large space was a living and sitting area. Shepard and Timothy moved into the apartment first, setting down her Alliance delivery of requisitions on the bed before going to take in the apartment's best feature with identical low whistles of admiration: a spectacular view of the Presidium through floor-to-ceiling windows along one entire wall.

"This will be… interesting," Samantha murmured, her hand tightening in Ashley's hand.

Ash smirked, pulling the woman suddenly into her arms and kissing her deeply. Pulling back, she kissed the tip of her nose. "I look forward to seeing what kind of trouble we can get up to here," she whispered, letting the blushing specialist go before going to look out the window with Shepard and Timothy.

"So," Shepard said as Timothy wandered off, going to speak with his sister.

Ashley's eyes slid sideways to look at her friend. "What?"

Shepard shrugged, looking back out the window. "I got your email. Udina wants you as a Spectre."

Ashley nodded. "Yeah. I… haven't given him an answer yet."

Shepard nodded. "It's a good thing to give it some thought. But it's also a big honor. A Williams, the second human Spectre… would be hard to turn down. But…"

"I'd have to deal with the fucking Council," Ashley finished.

"Yeah. The fucking Council." Shepard paused, staring out the window for a long moment before continuing. "Well, let me know what you decide. I want you back on my ship – but only if you want it."

Ashley turned fully to look at her former commander. "I… I'd like to be on your ship, Skipper."

Shepard turned to face her, as well, eyebrows raised. "Really? You wanna work with the Cerberus traitor?"

Ashley shrugged. "I've accepted that you cut ties. Sam speaks highly of working with you. You saved her brother, who is my bro. I… I'm convinced you're _you_. I still need time, but… I think that's enough to start fresh with, don't you?"

Shepard nodded, a small smile pulling at her lips. "I do."

Ashley mirrored her friend's nod, turning back to look at the view. "So… thanks for keeping my fiancée safe."

Shepard snorted. "No problem. Honestly, she's good, Ash. She keeps us well-connected. She's the one who figured out we should go to Grissom. And I know one of the people under her gives her a lot of shit, and she remains professional, doesn't complain to anyone. She works hard, gets all her work done during her shift, and knows _just_ how to flirt with the chain of command without actually bypassing it. And she's fucking _smart_. Makes me look like a troglodyte."

Ashley raised an eyebrow, smirking back at her friend. "You got a crush, Skipper?"

"And what if I do?" Shepard challenged, smirking right back.

Ashley just shook her head and rolled her eyes. "You're fucking hopeless, Skipper." Sobering, she examined her friend's profile. "Have you talked to Liara yet?"

Shepard sighed. "Yeah. We're… tentatively together? She helped me out with a meld after a particularly rough mission I can't go into the details about. On Eden Prime. And it… well, it turned intimate pretty quickly."

"That's good, right? Sex is like the glue that holds us together or some shit, right?"

Shepard shrugged. "It's only been two days since. We don't talk, we just kinda… sleep together, then go do our own thing during the day. I'm honestly still not sure where we stand. I told her about Kelly, and she's not happy, but… I don't know. I don't even know what _I_ want. Why'd I have to fall in love with someone else?"

Ashley shrugged. "Because you have a huge capacity for love, and hardly anyone to throw it at?"

Shepard snorted, shook her head, looked away. "I'm worried about Kelly. If Cerberus finds her, they'll execute her. But I can't ask Liara to look for her. I just have to… _hope_. No news is good news. Or something."

Ashley put a hand on Shepard's arm. "You'll figure it out, Miriam. You and Liara can do what most people can't — you can share your minds with each other _directly_. You should do that more, until you understand each other. Most of us have to do that with _words_."

Nodding, Shepard sighed. "You're right. I'll… I'll try talking to her later. For now, I promised you pizza. And you haven't seen your fiancée in weeks. How about I take Sam's brother with me to get it? We'll even walk, give you a few extra minutes."

"You are a _true_ friend, Skipper," Ashley responded solemnly. "Getting my future brother-in-law out of the house so I can fuck his sister."

Shepard laughed out loud at that, shaking her head at Ashley's giant grin. Turning, she addressed Tim. "C'mon, kid. Let's go get that pizza, leave these two alone to catch up."

"Eeeewwww yeah okay," he said, following her out the doors while pantomiming puking.

"So," Sam said, lifting a brow at her as the door slid shut behind Shepard and Timothy.

Ashley smirked, taking a step for her fiancée. "So."

"We have, what… twenty minutes to ourselves? Thirty?"

Ashley closed the distance between them, grabbing Sam by the hips and reeling her in until they were flush against each other. "I really don't think I'm gonna last that long, baby, but I'll try."

Sam laughed, snaking her arms around Ashley's neck in a way that made the lieutenant-commander's heart fall right through her stomach. "Silly girl – you'll be done quickly, and then you'll spend the rest of the time on _me_."

Ashley pouted. "Greedy."

"Oh, just shut up and kiss me, Ashley."

"Yes, ma'am," Ash purred, dipping her face the few inches required to catch Sam's lips in a kiss. Cream and heat and the smell of military-issue soap washed over her, and she groaned her approval. Her hands roamed, pulling Sam's shirt out from the waistband of her fatigues.

"Oh God, Ashley, hurry up. I need to feel you," Sam moaned as the LC's lips found her throat. The needy tone took all of Ashley's remaining restraint from her. With a growl, she lifted Sam's shirt and bra over her head in one move, depositing them unceremoniously on the ground as she piloted the specialist to the closest surface – a couch.

"Yours, too," Sam panted after another searing kiss. "I want your skin."

"God, me, too," Ashley sighed, allowing the distance required for her t-shirt to be removed.

"Oh… yes…" Skin slid along skin like warmed velvet on a cold winter's day. Hitting the couch together, they lay out on it, Ashley quickly beginning to kiss and bite her way down to Sam's beautiful – and bountiful – breasts. Someone somewhere once said "more than a handful is a waste." Well, whoever that had been could kindly suck Ashley's left nut. Sam had way more than a handful, and Ashley couldn't be more delighted to hold them, bury her face in them, kiss and bite and lavish them with attention. If they'd been small she would also love them, by the mere fact that they belonged to Sam. She had _never_ been discerning when it came to tits. All kinds were magnificent to one Ashley Williams.

But Sam's were special. They were, quite simply, Sam's.

"God, Ashley," Sam moaned when the LC's lips closed around a stiff nipple. She laved it with her tongue as her hands searched for the button and zipper to Sam's pants. But something wasn't working quite right…

"Dammit," Ashley murmured, pulling back to see what the problem was.

"You forgot the belt, didn't you?"

Ashley blushed, taking care of the offending accessory with a flick of her wrist. "Shut up, Doofus. You forgot my damn _boots_ the first time."

"Touché – ah!" Sam yelped as Ashley shoved her hands inside the now-open garment, lifting the comms specialist's hips and almost roughly removed them – just the way she knew Sam liked. Pulling her boots off with them, Ashley soon had a gorgeous, splendid, silken-skinned _goddess_ splayed out naked before her.

"Stop drinking me in with your eyes and _do_ something about it, Commander," Sam purred, twisting in a very feminine and flirty way to make herself look even more inviting.

And the use of her rank? _Sploosh._

"Fuck, Sam," she said, hurrying with her own pants. _At least sweats are easy_ , she thought to herself.

Samantha just giggled, the laughter turning into a contented sigh as Ashley slid atop her again. Their breaths mingled as they kissed, and for a time they were lost in the feel of skin and tongues and teeth and lips, hands roaming, pinching, squeezing.

Ashley was very much present as she dipped her hand between them, however, quickly finding the bountiful thatch of hair between Samantha's legs. She swallowed Sam's groan as she pressed forward, circling her clit, feeling her own core pulse at the feel of how wet Sam was. Growling possessively, she pushed forward, up, and in, filling this delicious creature in her arms, accepting the woman's pleasured shriek into her mouth.

Sam's tongue quickly followed her cries, plundering Ashley's mouth as the LC filled her up, over and over, finding every spot she had come to know so intimately that she didn't even need to think about it. She just went where the moans, sighs, and digging fingernails told her to go.

No more words were spoken… unless one counted Ashley's name filling the space between them whenever their kiss was broken. Ashley swallowed Sam's cries when she came, her blood boiling, her body spurring her forward, deeper, working Sam and drawing out her orgasm, working her up to a second and drawing that out even longer.

"Oh God, stop, Ashley," Sam panted finally, breaking the seal of their lips, her sweet breath washing over the LC.

Ashley backed off, stilled her fingers, the thumb she had over Sam's clit, relaxing her body so they lay pressed together. Her neck was stiff but she didn't care. Compared to some of their other acrobatics during sex, this had been her taking it easy – Dr. Michele would just have to accept that. Ashley would gladly go to an extra couple of days of physical therapy in order to fuck like rabbits with Samantha.

Sweat gathered at Sam's temples, trickling into her hair. It also gathered on her upper lip, mingling with the taste of her mouth as Ashley pulled them into a languid kiss. Pulling back, she looked into brown eyes so dark they looked black, smiling at her with such love, such adoration, that Ashley was momentarily struck dumb. She just… _looked_ , for as long as she could. Fate had very nearly separated them, but here they were, together, affirming their love, their lives. This was important. This was what they were fighting for, what Ashley was healing for.

"Having Earth-shattering realizations without me, Ash?" came Sam's soft, hoarse voice, her warm breath washing over Ashley with each word.

The lieutenant-commander grinned, the moment leaving with her blessing. "Just… looking. You're so fucking _pretty_."

"Flatterer – _oh_ …" Sam cut herself off in a sigh as Ashley gently removed her fingers from Sam's drenched folds. Wiping them quickly on her own stomach, she kissed the woman lying in her arms tenderly, damp fingers caressing her cheek.

The kiss quickly grew heated, however, Ashley's burning need insisting on directing them. Samantha seemed all too willing to follow along, her hands roving, her tongue dancing, her breath taking on that needy quality as she exhaled that always told Ashley that it was _on_.

They rearranged, Samantha sliding on top of her, eyes twinkling as she kissed and sucked her way lower and lower. "Oh, I have _missed_ you, Ashley," she murmured, her eyes taking in the silken, glistening folds of the LC's most intimate area. Ashley's whimpers filled the room as her fiancée dipped her head down to take care of the LC's poor neglected body.

* * *

"I have something for you," Ashley said, pulling her shirt back on. Shepard had messaged her saying she and Tim were on their way back so they better have clothes on.

"Oh?" Samantha was already dressed, in the bathroom trying to fix her mussed hair in the mirror. They had both already brushed their teeth and washed their faces of Ashley's lingering scent.

Ashley went to the opaque bag the hospital had given her to carry the few things she'd acquired while staying there. Literally everything else was issued by the Alliance. She'd had nothing else with her when she was admitted to Huerta. Withdrawing two small packages from the bag, she made her way to the bathroom with one of them, where Sam was wetting her hands so she could smooth out her hair. Dropping to one knee unseen, she held up the box that held the ring she'd special-ordered for Sam. It was simple, white gold to match her own, with a decent-sized emerald in the setting. It had cost a tidy sum, but Ashley had never done anything like pay rent or had to maintain a full wardrobe outside her issued uniform, so she had quite a savings built up.

Sam didn't notice at first. "Ash?" she asked, turning, presumably to see what had happened to Ashley, only to squeal with a jump when she saw a smirking LC on one knee.

"So will you marry me back, then?"

"Oh get up and come here!" Sam exclaimed, hitting Ashley's shoulder as the lieutenant-commander regained her feet. She then held out her hand, and Ashley pulled the ring from its box, sliding it home on Sam's ring finger.

"Another perfect fit," Ashley murmured, wrapping her arms around her fiancée. They kissed deeply, Ashley filling up with all kinds of protective and possessive feelings. Mostly, though, she was relieved, and comfortable, and pleasantly satiated.

"Ashley," Sam murmured, resting her head on Ashley's shoulder. "I love you." Ashley just held her, swaying softly to inaudible music, her head resting against Sam's hair, surrounded by her familiar scent.

After a few moments, however, they pulled apart. "I have something else for you, too."

Sam tilted her head, narrowing her eyes. "What is it?" she asked suspiciously.

Ashley just chuckled. "Nothing terrible, I promise. Here." She took the second small package, handing it over with much less ceremony.

"It's heavy," Sam noted, immediately opening the box to find… "Coconut oil?"

Ashley blushed. "I figured you didn't have any on the ship, and it's not exactly easy to find on the Citadel either. So I ordered you some." She shrugged, feeling a little foolish.

"Oh, Ashley, you beautiful woman," Samantha sighed, pushing herself into the LC's arms once more. "So thoughtful."

Ashley smirked, hugging the short woman to her. "It doesn't hurt that it makes you smell like a damn _cookie_."

The sliding of the door opening interrupted them. "She smells like a cookie?" Shepard asked, pizza in-hand. "I've never noticed."

"She uses coconut oil on her hair and face," Tim answered, moving to the table to put down the drinks he carried. "It smells like macaroons whenever she walks by you."

"But I haven't been able to since we left Earth," Sam explained, leaving Ashley's embrace. "Kind of hard to get on a military frigate." Examining the jar, she continued. "My skin has been tight for two weeks straight. It's going to drink up twice as much as normal the first time I use it, probably. My hair even more so."

"Just don't leave it where someone else can use it," Shepard cautioned, setting the boxes down on the table next to the drinks. "Personal property is difficult to keep from becoming public on a ship as small as ours."

Ashley snorted. "Ain't _that_ the truth. C'mon. That shit smells amazing. I've been eating hospital food for two damn weeks. Let's eat."

" _You're_ complaining? _We've_ been eating military rations for two weeks. I think we win," Sam countered, going to seat herself at the table very properly. Ashley smiled goofily at her as she began serving herself, piling slices of pizza onto one of the disposable plates Miriam and Tim had brought back with them.

"Damn, Williams," Shepard murmured, coming to stand beside her. "You got it bad, if you're looking at her like that while she serves _pizza_."

Ashley hit her snickering friend on the shoulder. "Shut it, Miss 'I can't sneeze without catching feelings for every girl who's ever looked at me twice.'"

"Ouch! And I was gonna tell you it looked good on you. But no more. Sappy-ass romantic. Hope the sex was good, at least?"

Ashley grinned, winked, and walked over to the table amid Shepard's guffaw of laughter.

* * *

Later that night, Ashley lay in Samantha's arms. They'd thoroughly ravished each other again, taking their time now that they had it and were not so desperate. Now they simply lay together, stroking each other's skin, breathing each other's scent, and just… _being_ with each other. Sam had cried some tears to have Ashley whole and healthy in her arms, but now even that was done. They had regained some degree of normalcy, and they basked in it.

But the moment didn't last. "Ashley?"

"Hmmm?"

"I know I haven't said anything, because I was just so happy to see you. But I do know _why_ you got this apartment."

Ashley's heart immediately sped up. "I meant to talk to you about it next time you called…"

"But you emailed Shepard…"

Ashley sighed, rolling off of Sam and propping her head up on her arm. "She's a Spectre. I… wanted her opinion before I talked to you about it."

Sam, mirroring her position now, knit her eyebrows. "Why didn't you want to talk to me about it?"

"It's dangerous, Sam. You just watched… _this_ happen," she said, gesturing to the still-obvious bruising on her own face and neck, "and I didn't want to worry you while I was still debating."

"And are you still debating?" Sam asked after a moment.

"I… I haven't given him an answer yet," Ashley admitted. "I can't decide. But he obviously wanted to up the ante, if he got me an apartment."

"He's treating you like you're already part of them," Sam said.

"What?"

"I looked into it. Spectres not out on assignment are given an apartment when on the Citadel. Few use it, but each is entitled."

"Huh…"

"Ashley, you're already a marine. I doubt I'll be more worried than I already am if you decide to take him up on his offer."

Ashley searched the woman's dark eyes for a moment. "It's different from being a soldier, Sam. I'd be a target. I'd be the second human Spectre _ever_. I… I couldn't ask you to-"

She cut herself off when Sam gently cupped her cheek. "Ashley, I want you to be happy, and to do the things you want to do. Do you want this?"

"I don't know," Ashley answered honestly.

Sam nodded. "All right. Well, just let me know what you want when you figure it out, deal?"

"Deal," Ashley nodded, smiling.

After a moment, she cocked her head to the side. "I just had an idea. Unrelated. How long can I keep the apartment?"

"It's… always yours. Until you're not a Spectre anymore. Why?"

"You said you weren't sure what was gonna happen to Tim, right?"

"That's right. I'm sure we'll find a place for him, but his program is disbanded for now, and he can't go home like most of the others – Horizon is still dark. And he can't stay with the biotic students – they're training for _battle_."

"What if he stayed with me?"

"With you?" Sam asked, turning over, propping herself up on her elbows.

"Yeah. I have this apartment now. May as well use it. I could take care of him, at least while I'm here. And he's technically an adult, can go or do whatever he wants."

"That's an idea… And you guys are such good friends. I believe the word you both use is 'bro'," Sam said with a smirk.

Ashley winked. "What can I say? I've never had a brother before. It's nice. Just wish we knew what was going on at your house. And with _my_ family..."

"I know, Ash," Sam said softly, moving closer and wrapping an arm around Ashley's bare waist. "I keep looking for them, but I just haven't found anything yet."

Ashley wrapped her arm around Samantha, pulling her into a hug. "I know, baby. Let's… let's just not worry about it for now. I'd rather enjoy this while it lasts. The _Normandy's_ leaving tomorrow, right?"

Sam groaned. "Yes. Stupid diplomats and their stupid need to be on our ship. Why do _we_ have to be the mediators? Ugh."

Ashley smiled. "Well, at least you'll smell nice for them."

"You think I can make them all agree with each other just by smelling like cookies?"

"Sure. Who doesn't like cookies?"

Sam giggled, bringing a smile to Ashley's lips. If she could listen to that laugh for the rest of her life she'd die happy. Knowing they'd get married and do just that, even if they didn't survive this war, was a comforting thought amidst a sea of worry. She held onto it as they fell asleep. It gave her hope, and that was in _short_ supply these days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I totally ended up writing an Ode To Tits in there. But who doesn't like tits? Even the gay men I know are fascinated.


	21. In the Meantime

**Samantha**

"Samantha Traynor."

Sam looked up from her place at the table in the mess. It was early, earlier than most people with first shift would be up, but she couldn't sleep, so she'd decided to come out and write another letter to her parents over a steaming mug of tea. Unfortunately, she'd said in previous letters all there was to say, and now, looking at her omnitool, she was just getting depressed. _The high of seeing Ashley really didn't last all that bloody long…_

Her thoughts were immediately derailed as her eyes fell on EDI. "Oh, EDI! I… didn't expect your, um… _body_ to be here," Sam stammered, trying and failing not to look at said body's bust. It was just _there_. How could anyone _not_ look at it?

"I find the crew is more comfortable speaking with this mobile platform in person. As I had a personal question to ask of you, I felt it prudent to put you at ease in what ways I can," EDI said, moving to the other side of the table and gesturing to the bench. "Do you mind if I sit?"

"Oh, please do!" Sam rushed, closing her omnitool. "Though… opening up the conversation by telling me of your need to make me comfortable is, in fact, a very good way to sound incredibly ominous and put me on edge. What's this about, EDI?"

"I have been running scenarios to analyze Jeff's behavior."

"Jeff… Oh, right, Joker. Okay. So… what behavior have you been analyzing?"

"I believe he has a strong affectionate attachment to me, but he has not stated it to anyone. You have first-hand sexual experience, Specialist Traynor." Sam immediately blushed. "How did you know that Lieutenant-Commander Williams was romantically interested in you?"

Samantha almost choked on her nervous laughter. Her face flushed hot, and she was sure her blush was so bad one could actually see how red her skin was. "Um. I… paid attention?"

EDI's response was to simply stare agreeably back at her.

Sam sighed. _I never thought I'd have to break down flirting into ones and zeros…_ "She… I caught her staring a lot, and she flirted back when I flirted. She touched me whenever she could get away with it without being creepy. And… then we got drunk and kissed a lot. It was pretty clear after that what we _both_ wanted." _God you are essentially engaged to a drunken hookup. That'll be interesting to tell your children about later._

_First things first, Sammy. Survive this war and marry the girl, then you can worry about what lies you do and do not tell your nonexistent children._

EDI's face was completely innocent as she asked, "What was it that you wanted?"

Sam groaned. "Sex, EDI. We wanted sex. With each other."

"Ah. I see. So the way to a romantic relationship is to have sex-"

"Gah! No! Well, sometimes… I suppose we fell in love by having a whole lot of sex. But she also stayed and protected us when the Collectors attacked, and we talked a _whole_ lot, so we were already getting to know each other. She liked my family, and they liked her. And I was _ready_ for a real relationship. And we got along well. And she treats me like I'm a _goddess_ , and yet doesn't hold me on a pedestal. She's interested in what I have to say, what I think, and loves hearing me geek out about programming. And I love her muscles, and her wit, and her love of poetry, and her stories about her family. We want the same things in life, and have most of the same values. And the chemistry at the get-go was-"

She was cut off by the sound of a door sliding open. Both Samantha and EDI looked up to see Commander Shepard step out of Dr. T'Soni's office. She faced into the open door, and as they watched, the asari's blue hand appeared running through Shepard's short hair, pulling her face back out of view for what Sam could only assume was a rather passionate kiss. As the door slid shut once more, the commander looked up…

And froze.

"Um, I swear I can explain this…"

EDI turned back to face Samantha. "Commander Shepard and Liara T'Soni have rekindled their romantic entanglement. Perhaps I should ask her these questions?"

Samantha blinked, her mouth gaping like a fish, looking from EDI back to Shepard a few times before finally bursting out in laughter from the absurdity of it all. Looking back to Shepard, she found the commander with a sheepish grin on her face.

"I, uh… didn't want any of the crew to see me visiting Liara's cabin so late. But I guess you two already know about our relationship?"

Samantha just laughed harder, nodding. She continued to laugh, EDI regarding her curiously, as Shepard shook her head – grin still firmly in place – and walked past them to the lift.

"I don't believe I follow." EDI's tone carried its normal mild curiosity. "What was so humorous?"

Shaking her head, Samantha continued to laugh until well after she heard the lift take Shepard up to her cabin.

* * *

Samantha shut down her console with a weary sigh. It seemed no matter how hard she worked, there was too much for the three of them – she and the other communications staff – to get done, even with around-the-clock coverage of the station. Maybe they could get a fourth? Someone to be on the clock doing day-to-day maintenance while she or Rajad or Halanz was busy with the ground team? That was what was really putting them behind. Ground missions required their attention to be drawn away from maintenance and debugging. It made things less efficient over time.

Sam hated that. It wasn't noticeable to anyone but EDI, at least not yet, but nonetheless, Sam hated the loss of efficiency in their processes.

"Hello, Specialist Traynor."

Sam looked up to see Specialist Alexandra Halanz. The young woman had dark skin, darker even than Sam, with long braided hair. She always seemed so small, even though she was of a height with Samantha. Perhaps it was because she was shy, timid. But she did good work, so there was nothing really for Sam to complain about. The woman just tended not to speak up very often except in conversations with Samantha. Sam could hardly blame her. The woman was fresh out of boot, practically, and assigned to the bloody _Normandy_ ; Sam was at least more seasoned, and higher ranking, but she was incredibly nervous to be serving on this ship at first, too. But still. The not being willing to say things, to keep up communication with Shepard and the ground team during missions, was going to be a problem. The ground team was blind down there to anything not in their immediate vicinity – they _needed_ to hear from the ship regularly.

Maybe she should talk to her about it _now_?

"Hello, Specialist Halanz. What are you doing here?" The younger woman's presence was strange. She usually covered the third shift, not the second. Sam had in fact relieved her that morning.

The woman's dark face turned slightly guilty. "I… traded with Rajad, ma'am," she said, her American accent making the honorific sound strange to Samantha's ears. Sam hardly ever heard the word "ma'am" pronounced by anyone but herself.

_Also probably weird because she's_ _**addressing** _ _you, Sammy._

_Right. Weird._

Sam furrowed her brows. As the non-commissioned officer, all shift changes were to be approved by her beforehand. But… it had already happened. "All right, well, since it's time and you're here, I can't do anything about it this time. But I need to be informed in the future." _Wow, Sam, you sound all official. Bullshitter of the Year award_.

Halanz's face got that flash of guilt over it again. "Aye, ma'am. We won't switch again without going through you."

Samantha studied her for a moment, but she couldn't think of what seemed off. That flash of guilt, sure, but… Well, there really wasn't more to say. As long as everything was covered, then it was covered. Not getting it okayed first was a problem, but the actual change was a non-issue; they just needed approval next time.

"Good. While I have you here, I wanted to speak with you about something."

Halanz furrowed her brows. "What is it, ma'am?"

Sam shook her head. "Please, stop calling me that. Makes me feel like Commander Shepard is behind me. Just call me Traynor, all right?"

"I just thought, because you keep asking Rajad to not call you by name…"

"Rajad is a wanker," Sam sniffed, then sighed. "Forget I said that part. Rajad insists on calling me pet names that I don't even like my _fiancée_ using. That is different from calling me by my last name as _everyone else on the ship_ does. All right? I mean, there are times when the command structure needs to be brought into it… but when it's just us, and no one's getting yelled at, just names, okay?"

Halanz smiled a little. "Okay, Traynor." She paused, smirking a little. "Get wordy when you get nervous, do you?"

Samantha mock-glared. "Ha ha, so funny. Keep it up, and I'll take it all back."

Halanz just chuckled quietly, shaking her head. She sobered quickly, however, concern on her face once more. "What was it you wanted to speak with me about?"

"You do good work, Halanz. It's precise, ups our efficiency, and EDI says you're pleasant to work with."

"Thank you. But…"

Samantha sighed. "You need to speak up more. You leave the ground team blind by staying off the comms."

"But… we're supposed to stay off them as much as possible, I thought?"

"It's… a delicate balance. You want to stay in touch at least with Shepard, warn her of things you see, listen clearly and clear up any static, tell her the updates from the cockpit. But don't gunk it up with unnecessary chatter or information they don't need."

The younger woman blinked a few times, processing what Sam had said. It was difficult for Sam to remain quiet and let the woman think, but she managed. "I… I'm not sure I know what's important and what's not."

Samantha furrowed her brows, crossing her arms. "That's a lie if I've ever heard one."

Halanz was taken aback. "I'm not lying-"

Sam held up her hands. "You're not lying, but you're making an excuse. You know _exactly_ what's important. I see it in your notes, Halanz. So what is it? Do you stutter? Nerves? What is it?"

The young woman looked defiant for all of another second before slumping. "Nerves."

"Because of Shepard?"

A nod.

Samantha sighed. "Just… pretend it's someone else. Your old CO, maybe? They're blind down there without you. You are their link to the ship, to the galaxy. Your job is just as important as theirs is to the success of each mission."

Halanz was quiet a moment. Finally, she just nodded. "All right, Traynor. I'll… I'll do better."

Sam smiled. "Good. Hey, why don't you come find me when your shift is over? We can grab a drink or something before I go to bed. Do you like chess?"

"I… I haven't played it, m- um, Traynor."

"Oh, you'll love it. I can teach you."

"Yeah, all right." Starting up the console, she turned to face Sam once more. "I… thank you for talking to me about it, and not reprimanding me. This is all very new and different. I'm entirely out of my element. I never planned to serve on a ship."

Sam smiled. "I know how that goes, Halanz. I actually had to be reprimanded for something recently. It… my superior was kind about it, and it's stuck with me. I'd like to follow his example."

"Him?" Halanz asked, surprise on her face. "Not Shepard?"

"No. It was Lieutenant Vega."

"Oh."

Samantha laughed. "Yes, I wouldn't expect him to take that kind of responsibility, either. But he got promoted to lieutenant somehow. Not a terrible lesson to remember, especially when we see our superiors drunk or in other compromising situations, yes?"

Halanz smiled. "Duly noted."

Sam said her goodbyes, heading for the lift. She was _hungry_ and actually looking forward to the MRE waiting with her name on it down in the mess.

A few minutes later, she was rummaging for the Flavor of the Day, as she had come to think of it. Honestly, it was all so unappealing that she was starting to think she'd have better luck just selecting something at random than by pulling them out and choosing which meal she "wanted." She didn't want any of them. She wanted her mother's cooking, not a bloody MRE.

 _Where are you, Mum? Richard? Dad? Are you on Horizon? What are you doing about the invasion? Is no news about Horizon good news? Or_ _ **terrible**_ _news? I don't know… I just don't know the answer_.

Suddenly she heard a loud sniff. Turning, a random MRE in-hand, Samantha found James standing at the threshold leading from the emergency sleeper pods down into the mess. He cut quite a silhouette, large and powerful… and _sniffing the air_. Loudly.

"James?"

He gave her a quizzical look and came down the stairs, sniffing again. He got even closer, still sniffing, much like her dog Boomer, until he got right up next to her.

"Can I help you, James?"

He cocked his head to the side, and then his hands took hold of her head, tipping it down toward his chest. She felt his face pressed to her hair, and he gave a giant sniff. He was literally _smelling her hair_.

Then she was released. Reeling from the ridiculousness of that interaction, Sam merely looked up at him, patting at her hair absently.

"You smell like cookies," he said, reaching into the cabinet she had just been rummaging in and pulling out two meals, at random just as Sam had.

"I… yes, I use coconut oil on it. I… what the hell was that, James?!"

He chuckled. "If that's the weirdest thing that's happened to you, then maybe you shouldn't ever drink with Commander Shepard. Or spend any time with her at all. Weird shit tends to happen around her."

"I… touché," Sam finally said, decided to move past the strange sniffing incident. James was really kind of like a giant dog, anyway. _I guess it's not_ _ **that**_ _weird…_ No need to file a sexual harassment claim.

"So," James started as he followed Sam to an empty spot at an otherwise full table. "Did you see Ash while we were on the Citadel?"

Sam was immediately suspicious. "Yes, I did," she said evasively.

His grin told her exactly what he was thinking without a single word needed.

Sam sighed, rolling her eyes. "God, you're worse than my brothers; nosy, inappropriate little shits. Yes, it was a delightful time, and we made the most of it. Is that enough to please you?"

He just snickered as he found his seat. "I bet you two fucked like _rabbits_."

Heat immediately flushed through Sam's face, but she smiled nonetheless. Being horrified was only an invitation for more from marines like James. "Really, I don't see how it's any of your business, James, but if you must know… Yes, we absolutely did." She couldn't hide her self-satisfied grin. They truly had shagged until she was sore. Pleasantly sore.

"Ha!" he guffawed, slapping the table with one of his big hands. "I knew I liked you, Sam. You're all right."

Ripping open one of the many packets of nameless goo – some sort of stew, perhaps? – in the MRE she had selected, Sam raised an eyebrow up at him. "Just all right? I was hoping for at least dashing. You nickname everyone. I haven't even gotten one of those, yet. Hard to tell you like me."

"Oh, c'mon _mamacita_ ," he replied without missing a beat – in fact without missing a bite. "I've only known you a couple of weeks. 'All right' is pretty damn good for a few weeks!"

"Really? 'Little mama'? So dirty..."

He grinned. "I could go with something dirtier," he suggested.

Sam raised another eyebrow. "James, you are the biggest flirt I have ever met, and that's saying something, as I am engaged to Ashley Williams. And yet you don't brag about conquests. Are you actually a gentleman, or does the flirting not actually work for you? You know, when you flirt with women who might actually like you back."

He just chuckled. "Unlike you, I don't kiss and tell, _mamacita_."

Sam blinked a few times before responding. "I… you asked! You just-"

"You didn't have to say anything. Ooooo, wait until I tell Ash."

"As if she cares," Sam huffed. "Ugh, you're such an arse."

He opened his mouth, only to cut himself off when they heard the lift chime. Both curious who it could be – everyone off duty was already in the mess tiredly eating their own packets of nameless goo – they both craned their necks to see who came around the corner.

She was like someone out of a fashion vid. Long, luxurious brown hair cascading over her shoulders, which were nearly bare, thin straps the only thing holding up her revealing dress. Long, pale legs were shown off to good advantage, and her eyes, a pale blue, seemed to sparkle as they swept over the room. Her face was pretty, elegant-looking, yet with this slight quality that made her approachable, like a girlfriend-pretty instead of a fashion-model-pretty, despite the look of her body and clothing. She wore a slight pout, her brows upturned in a way that hinted at concern as she took in the room.

Then Sam suddenly found those eyes on her ( _Or is it James? I bet she likes big, hunky men_ ), and the woman's expression softened into a slight smile. She walked past them, however, going to the kitchen area to get her own lumpy goo.

A low, quiet whistle got her attention. "Damn, that reporter girl the Commander let on the ship is fuckin' _fine_ ," James said in a low voice, leaning over the table conspiratorially.

"You should hook up with her," Sam joked, going back to her meal. A pretty girl was nice to look at, but the feminine fashion model really wasn't her thing for more than eye-candy. Now, if she could get tips on how to look that good in a dress like that, Sam might listen. But even then… dresses weren't really her thing, either.

"Um, she was lookin' at _you_ , Sam."

Sam scoffed. "What?!"

James nodded, grinning. "Yeah, Sam. She was sizing you up. Looks like crazy-beautiful likes the ladies."

"There's plenty of ladies in here that aren't _me_ ," Sam huffed, looking furtively over at the pale-skinned beauty who had walked by them once more. Sam watched her shapely figure disappear around the corner, looking back to James as the sound of the lift arriving rang through the air. "There is no _way_ she was looking at me. Why would she pick me out from the crowd?"

He blinked at her a moment before answering her. "Sam, you do realize you stand out, don't you?"

"What?"

He shrugged. "You're pretty, you got your dark skin, and… I don't know. There's something about you. You've got an energy. It attracts the eye."

Sam didn't know what to say. "I… thank you? Not that I believe it…"

He shrugged again. "It's true. Ash got lucky she snatched you up. Or that you snatched her up. You're ridiculously gorgeous, and she's got her own good looks, and there you are, being stupid-cute and sexy and shit together."

Sam felt a true blush flare across her cheeks. He could tease her and flirt with her, but a true compliment was what it took to truly embarrass her. _Humans are bizarre_.

"Well… thank you, James."

"No problem. Now, you want a beer or something?"

She grinned. Just like a boy, to compliment like she was a lady and then treat her like a bro. "Sure, James. Can I interest you in some chess, too, perhaps?"

He groaned. " _Ay_ , how you think that is fun…"

Smirking, she got up, running to the crew quarters to grab her chess set. Any opportunity to play was welcome. And even though James fancied himself too stupid, he really was quite good. Just needed a little more confidence so he could pull off daring moves.

_The fact you think anything in chess is daring, Sammy…_

_Oh, shut it and let me have a good time._


	22. Accepting the Offer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Raven Sinead would like you to know how often I used the word "hard" and how it made her snicker every time because innuendo.
> 
> I would like you to know how awesome Raven Sinead is for being my beta and friend.

**Ashley**

Saying goodbye to Samantha was _fucking_ hard. But left in her place was Timothy, and while that wasn't the same as having her fiancée around, it was better than nothing. He was a good kid. Ashley liked him.

Unfortunately she had no fucking clue what to _do_ with him.

"Is the couch comfortable enough to sleep on?"

Tim looked up from his seat at the table, where he'd been staring absently out the ridiculous windows at the absurdly beautiful view. "Huh? Oh, yeah, it's fine. Hey, thanks for taking me in. I know Sam wasn't showing it, but she was ready to tear her hair out trying to figure out what to do with me. And I admit I had no idea, either. Maybe the Alliance would've given me a bunk in a barracks?"

Ashley shrugged. "Who knows? And it's no problem. We're practically family, right? Besides, this is way easier than shooting Collectors and getting paralyzed from their little bug-robots, and I've already got that one under my belt. This is cake in comparison"

Timothy chuckled, shaking his head. "Still, I appreciate it, even if you've done something harder for us."

"Like I said, not a problem. So… what do you wanna _do_? This is kinda my first day of freedom. I gotta take it easy, and I gotta go to physical therapy, but other than that… we can do whatever the fuck we want."

"Honestly? I really want to walk around and gawk a bit. This is my first time on the Citadel."

Ashley grinned. "Deal. Just let me change into real clothes," she said, already heading for the bathroom. As she rummaged through her solitary duffel bag, she called out to her future brother-in-law. "First stop, how about we get some clothes? All I got is a couple of uniforms, and that's gonna get old _quick_."

"Yeah, let's do it. That's all I've got, too, and they only gave me one extra one, since my program's disbanded. I… I don't have any money. My account is dry, and I can't exactly ask Mum and Dad for more…"

Ashley popped her head out of the bathroom to answer him. "Hey. I got it. And you know Sam's doing everything she can to find them. My family, too. She'll find them. And they'll be all right, watch. It's just the communications all around the galaxy being fucknutted."

He snorted a laugh. "It's a _really_ good thing you don't talk like that in front of Mum." Turning his gaze upon her, his expression grew serious. "Thank you, Ashley. I really mean it. I'm realizing just how up a creek I would be if you hadn't taken me in. I'm sure I'll get a job and be able to contribute at some point, but for now… well. Thank you."

Ashley smiled. "You're more than welcome." Disappearing back into the bathroom, she started dressing. "And don't thank me anymore! It's super awkward!"

A laugh answered her as she shut the door.

Ten minutes later, they were walking the Presidium. The Wards were a lengthy walk, so they headed out for the cheapest public transit they could find when they spoke to Avina. There were a million shops of a million varieties, and that was only on the ground floor of the buildings. Stretching above them like great fingers were the high-rises of the Presidium, home of luxurious apartments, spacious offices, and Keeper tunnels that changed continually, defying all modern attempts at mapping and predicting the changes.

After walking and remarking on their amazing surroundings, they finally got in line for rapid transit. Unlike a more expensive cab ride, this line of cars did one thing: it took them to a shopping district, and it took them back to this exact spot on the Presidium from there. But it was cheap, and Ashley could use the exercise all the walking provided. She'd been continuing with whatever workouts and exercise her injury would allow, but doing squats in her hospital room was not the same as the bliss of merely being able to stretch her legs out and _walk_.

"So… you've had a big couple of days," Ashley remarked once the car had lifted into the air.

Timothy's eyes slid sideways to look at her. "I suppose you could say that…"

Ashley gave him a sardonic look. "Your space station academy was attacked by Cerberus so they could brainwash the biotics teacher, and presumably the students, and then you were rescued by the legend herself. After that, you were magically reunited with your sister. There's nothing to _suppose_ ; it was a fucking crazy couple of days, Tim."

He sighed. "Yeah."

"So…"

"What?"

Ashley sighed. "God, you're worse than a real marine about your damn feelings! Talk about it, fuckwit! You got shot at! Last year you were in high school! You can't just hold on to this shit, man. If we were in the field I'd send you out with a gun and then get you drunk, but I can't do either, so all I can do is get you to talk."

He sighed again, looking out the window instead of at Ashley. "I… it was frightening, but honestly it wasn't that bad for me. They weren't after the tech students. So we grabbed David and hid. Or, we tried to. Ended up taking refuge behind this barrier-generator we'd built for class. Then Shepard came up, and Sam talked to us through the comms, and that was that."

"Seriously? That's all you feel about it?"

He turned to face her, quiet, face twitching slightly as various emotions tried to overtake his visage. Finally, he spoke. "School has been… incredibly lonely. I miss my family. I'm used to sharing a brain with Rich. I got used to Sam not being around anymore, but my brother… it's like he's half of me, and without him… it's like I can't be myself, because part of myself is gone. I can't connect with people. I can't even flirt well with girls."

Ashley frowned. Poor Tim had never found his girlfriend after the Collector attack. And then he'd left Horizon altogether, leaving his family only six months after their entire community had been torn apart. And he was stuck inside his own head for the first time in his life.

"When I left home, it was fucking awful," she finally said.

"Oh?"

"Yeah," Ashley nodded. "My dad had died only a little over a year before. I left all my sisters, my mom, the girl I'd just started seeing seriously. But it was nothing like what you're describing. My sisters are good, but they're a pain in the ass and all younger than me. Nothing like having a twin."

Tim gave a noncommittal grunt, making Ashley smile.

"I do know what that loneliness is like, though."

"What? How? You just said you don't know what it's like to have a twin."

Ashley chuckled, shaking her head. "Because everyone does, dipshit. We all live in our own heads. You're just not used to it. We've been dealing with it from infancy. You're new to it now as an adult. Sounds awful and uncomfortable, but… the rest of us managed. You'll be okay. And you and Richard will probably be better able to live adult lives because of it. Hard to make a girl feel special when you'll always have a closer bond to your brother than to her. And just think of it? You've got some great stories to share with him when you see him again."

Timothy regarded her for a long moment before finally responding. "I'll keep all that in mind. It is comforting that other people go through it and make it out all right, though. Thanks, Ash."

"No problem, Tim."

"It's too bad you guys don't know what it's like," he said after a minute or two.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. It's… well, a lifetime of this loneliness? How do you stand it?"

Ashley smiled, looking at the view out the window. "Well, I don't actually know what it's like any other way… but your sister keeps a piece of me with her, and I have a piece of her with me. We… we usually know each other's mind. It's not perfect, but I think it's the closest thing most of us can get to what you and Richard have grown up knowing. That's how _I_ stand it."

He nodded, keeping quiet. As the car touched down to the ground, however, he surprised her. "You're so good to her. I'm glad she found you."

Ashley paused after paying, looking up to see Tim's eyes – a dark brown that was a perfect match for Sam's – regarding her. "I'm glad she found me, too. C'mon. Enough weighty stuff. Let's go get some damn clothes."

Chuckling, he nodded, getting out of the car and joining her in another walk through the streets.

* * *

"Hey Thane," Ashley greeted as she stepped into Huerta Memorial.

The drell looked up from his customary spot looking out the giant windows on the view of the Presidium. "Hello, Ashley," he said, coming up next to her as she approached the reception desk. "I heard you were discharged."

She nodded, signing in for her physical therapy. "Yeah, I… I got an apartment. I guess all Spectres get one?"

"So you decided to accept the Councilor's proposal, then?"

"I haven't officially accepted yet, but… I think I'm going to, yeah."

He hummed, eyes blinking in their strange way as he considered her. "It is strange that he offered you the apartment before you accepted."

Ashley shrugged, moving away from the desk to make room for others. "I know. But the timing was amazing; the _Normandy_ docked day before yesterday, and I got to see Samantha."

"Ah, yes. That is your intended wife, correct?"

"Yeah, my fiancée."

"How does she feel about your acceptance of the title of Spectre?"

"She's… supportive," Ashley answered. Sam was supportive, right?

"You seem reticent with that answer," he observed.

He really was a rather astute observer of her tone. As was Samantha. _Is it just me? Do I wear my feelings in my tone of voice?_

"She was more pissed that I hadn't said anything to her yet. I emailed Shepard, talked to you, but she had to find out from Shepard's email."

"Shepard's email?"

"She monitors all communication on board. If it's marked confidential, comes from someone outranking Shepard, then she leaves it. Other than that, she screens it for viruses and content, lets her CO know if it's urgent."

He nodded. "An important function on a stealth ship."

Ashley smiled. "I keep telling her that. But I think she feels inferior to the people who go on the ground."

"It is a common feeling among non-combatants. Uselessness. They fail to see that the ground team doing 'all the work' would not be able to do their jobs without all of the intel the noncombatant support provides."

"Yeah, I know, and I tell her that, and I think she believes it, most of the time. But… I also think it's hard to shake that inferior feeling. She'll get there. This is also the first ship she's served on. She'll get used to how it works."

"Much of it is likely that _you_ are part of the ground team," Thane said. "She watched you get injured, yes? Her job is important, but she is not in nearly as much danger as those on the ground; as _you_ are. As she sees you become healthy, I am sure her confidence will grow."

"I'm sure you're right. But listen, I gotta go, or Dr. Michele is gonna check me back into the hospital until the day I die."

A small smile appeared on his lips. "That was her threat if you did not show up for physical therapy? Clever woman," he said with a chuckle.

Grinning, Ashley nodded, leaving him in the lobby as she hurried through decontamination into the hospital proper.

Three hours later, she was pleasantly sore and limber. Thane was nowhere to be seen in the lobby, but she noticed right away that Councilor Udina _was_.

"Councilor Udina?" she called, getting his attention as she approached his turned back.

"Ah, Lieutenant-Commander Williams," he said, shaking her hand in greeting. "I saw you were discharged and took up residence in your apartment. I trust it is comfortable?"

His voice was greasy as ever, but Ashley had worked with him enough over the last three years that it no longer grated as it used to. She knew the man, as much as anyone could claim to know him. She still thought he was a slimy politician, but no worse than anyone else.

Not that she'd really met that many politicians.

"It is, sir. Thank you for the offer of it. I was glad to open up some room for others who are less mobile than I am. And it ended up being good timing, as I now have someone near and dear who needed a place to sleep staying with me."

Udina's expression softened into a smile. Ashley liked his scowl better. "I'm glad it all worked out then. Can I assume this means you will accept our offer? Second human Spectre? First _useful_ one?"

Ignoring the prickling she experienced at his dig at Shepard, Ashley cleared her throat, wanting to place some amount of importance on this. "Yes, sir. I would be honored to join the ranks of the Citadel Council's Special Tactics and Reconnaissance Team. I look forward to representing humanity among the elite, sir."

"Excellent!" he exclaimed, shaking her hand once more. "Let me know the moment you're recovered, and I'll make the arrangements for the ceremony. In the meantime, if there's anything you need?"

"I was hoping I could have Spectre access to communications, sir."

He gave her a knowing look. "Someone you're looking for, Williams?"

She nodded. "Yes, sir. My mother and sisters, as well as the rest of my fiancée's family."

He got a shrewd expression as he regarded her. "I'll see what I can do, Commander. If you feel up to it, come by my office tomorrow after your therapy, and we can discuss it. It'll give me some time to see what I can arrange. Have a good afternoon, Commander Williams. I look forward to working with someone who is more agreeable."

And, like that, with that one last little dig at Shepard, he was gone. Her entire life was changed, with little-to-no pomp and circumstance. Shouldn't she feel different? She didn't know what to feel, but she sure didn't like that niggling little voice in the back of her head that perked up when Udina insulted Shepard, the voice that thought he was right, the voice that was so quick to go through all the things Shepard had done that Ashley disapproved of. Running her hand through her hair, she left the hospital, heading home to see what Timothy had gotten himself up to in her absence.


	23. The War Summit

**Samantha**

Her dress blues itched and chafed at her throat. And arms. And anywhere the jacket touched her skin directly, really. _Maybe I can get a long-sleeved undershirt. Do they have those? Would better tailoring help? Blasted allergies._

The lift chimed, recalling Samantha's attention to what she was supposed to be doing. The salarian and krogan dignitaries would be boarding the _Normandy_ within a few hours, and she had quite a bit to get through before they were actually aboard. Communications between ships, with similar-yet-different communications technology, was at least an exciting challenge.

_God it is sick that this excites you._

_It's a challenge!_

_Sick, Sammy._

_Yes, I know. Shut it, I don't need even_ _**me** _ _thinking I'm a loser nerd._

_But you_ _**are** _ _a loser nerd._

"Morning, Specialist Traynor."

Sam almost jumped when Commander Shepard turned from her spot at the galaxy map to address her. Sam hadn't even seen her there.

"G- good morning, Commander." Stepping out of the lift, she proceeded to her station.

"If I might say so, you cut a fine figure in those dress blues, Specialist." Sam turned to look up at Shepard, still on the promontory of the galaxy map. The commander had a half smile, though she wasn't looking directly at Samantha.

Sam decided to play along a little. She was feeling playful, energetic, excited for today's challenge. _Loser. Nerd_. "Mmmm hmmm. Tell me, Commander, do you always flirt with your communications officers? Or is it just me?"

She was met by silence. She'd expected Shepard to flirt back, just as playfully. That was how most of their interactions had gone. Looking back up to her commander, Samantha saw her face a mask of guilt: brows turned down, skin sheet-white in comparison to its normal mocha, lips in a flat line. The scar on her forehead – the one she apparently got by head-butting a _krogan_ – stood out nearly red on the pale backdrop.

"I… I'm sorry, Commander. Did I say something wrong?"

The commander's face twitched a few times, her lips parting as if she might say something, before she shook her head, looking down at her feet. "No, Traynor, you're fine. I'm sorry if I've made you uncomfortable. You're taken, I'm taken; I shouldn't be flirting like that."

"I'm not uncomfortable, ma'am," Sam countered when Shepard trailed off. "Innocent flirting is fun."

"Be that as it may," Shepard said, bright blue eyes snapping up to find Samantha's. Her face had regained its color. "I will do my best to keep it more professional in front of others. I like you as a friend, Specialist Traynor. And, as your commander, I like your work. Gotta keep them separate. Speaking of which, I never did congratulate you on Grissom Academy."

Samantha allowed the deflection, her face immediately flushing. "It was nothing, Commander. Hardly something worth noting-"

"None of that." Shepard was off the dais now, standing behind her and holding out her hand, causing Sam to have to turn around to be addressed. Sam reached out to shake her hand as the commander continued. "Good job, Traynor. You definitely belong here on my ship."

Sam was stuck, frozen, staring down into her hand as Shepard withdrew her own. In her palm rested a cool metal coin. _I've been coined. Holy shit, I've been coined. What the bloody hell do I do?!_

_Act normal, Sam._

_Normal Sam is a Hot. Mess._

_Play it cool, Doofus._

_Wait, when did I start arguing with Ash in my head instead of myself?_

_Why does it matter if I sound like me or like her? You have a job to do. Act normal and go be a loser nerd on the comms, Sam._

_Right. Work. It's why I got this thing. In my hand. Good work. I do good work._

Sam stiffened into a salute, internally cringing when she realized she'd saluted _before_ pocketing the coin, instead of after, as was customary. A smirking Shepard returned the salute, nodded, and left for the cockpit without another word. Pocketing the coin – a time-honored tradition from commander to subordinate – Samantha turned back to her station. At a simple touch, it started up, and she was back to work, a giddy smile pulling at her lips.

* * *

The krogan was _big_. Samantha had never come face-to-face with a krogan before, least of all a warlord, a leader. The very idea of a leader for the krogan as a whole was unprecedented, and yet here he was.

"Commander Shepard, Urdnot Wrex just boarded," Samantha said into her microphone.

"You talkin' to Shepard over there?" The krogan's voice was impossibly low, rumbling right through Sam's chest even from several meters away.

"Um… yes, I am, sir," Sam said, not sure how to address the giant male. _Man? Is that the proper word?_

"Heh. 'Sir'. You're funny, human. Tell Shepard to get her ass up here."

Before Samantha could say anything, Shepard's voice piped into her earbud. { _Roger, Traynor. He givin' you shit yet?_ }

Sam's eyes flicked up to the krogan, who was now very near and, if she wasn't mistaken, smirking. "Um… yes, Commander."

{ _Tell him to suck my left nut._ }

"I- what?!" Sam sputtered, eyeing the big krogan once more.

"She tellin' you how to get rid of me? Tell her if she can actually grow a quad, I'll consider it."

Sam blinked, mouth open, looking from Wrex to her terminal. Shepard chuckled in her ear. { _I'll be there in a minute. Why don't you send him through to Security? Let Liara know he's headed her way, will you?_ }

Sam's heart sank into her stomach. She'd actually avoided having to speak to Dr. T'Soni the whole time she'd been on the ship. Or Garrus Vakarian. Or that Prothean, Javik. They were all reclusive and tended to keep to themselves, as did Samantha. She'd spent all her time hanging out with Joker and James, and talking to Ashley or trying to contact her family. Sometimes she played chess against the computer, and other times EDI joined her, taking control of the game's computer in a totally creepy and awesome way. That was how she spent her time.

No need to speak with anyone else, ever. That more than filled her time when she was off duty.

_You are also nervous about all those aliens. You met Garrus, but other than that…_

"If you'll make your way through that door, sir, you'll find the security screen leading to the conference room. Dr. T'Soni will be awaiting you there. I believe you two are already acquainted?"

He merely grunted affirmation, moving toward the indicated door with a nod. _Should I warn those two in there? Nah. They must know a krogan dignitary is expected_.

Instead, Sam took a deep breath, mustering up the courage to message Dr. Liara T'Soni. _This is stupid. This is your job, Sammy. Just be cool and professional. That's all that's required._

_But I'm such a coward! And she's intimidating!_

_Just rip the bandaid off and do it! You need to tell her before Wrex actually shows up!_

_Right. Shit._

She hit the command on the holographic interface in front of her. "Dr. T'Soni? This is Communications Specialist Samantha Traynor." _Why? Why was all that information important?_

There was the smallest of pauses before the asari's melodic voice sounded in her ear. { _Can I help you?_ }

"Commander Shepard asked me to inform you that Urdnot Wrex has arrived. He is currently headed through Security for the conference room."

Another slight pause. { _Yes, all right. Thank you for the warning. He can be… a bit much._ }

"You're welcome, ma'am." _Really? Did you just Ma'am her? Bloody Christ, you are terrible at this. Also you're still connected. Were you planning to say something else, princess?_

{ _Was there anything else, Specialist?_ }

 _Bloody. Hell_. "Um, no, ma'am." Sam cringed. "That's all. Traynor out."

_Permanent. Cringe. What the hell is wrong with me?_

Shaking her head, Samantha buckled down, losing her embarrassment in her work.

Not even an hour later, however, Shepard and Wrex were storming out into the CIC, determined looks of murder on both their faces. "Joker!" she shouted up to the cockpit.

{ _Ma'am?_ } the flight lieutenant's voiced piped in over Sam's earbud. Working quickly, she piped it into Shepard's as well.

More quietly this time, Shepard spoke into her collar. "We're going to Sur'Kesh. How long?"

{ _Twelve hours, ma'am_ ,} Joker replied, without hesitation.

"All right. We'll be hitting the ground hot. Give me a half-hour warning, would you?"

{ _Aye, Commander_.}

"I'll be in the battery with Garrus," Wrex said. "We'll be ready when the time comes."

"Gotcha, Wrex."

The krogan stopped on his way to the lift, turning and fixing Shepard with a steady gaze. "You're a true friend to the krogan, Shepard."

"I'm not doing this because the krogan are my friends, Wrex. I'm doing this because they deserve it, and I'm doing it with _you_ because you're a damn fine man. And my friend."

He hummed, and then his face peeled up in a horrid imitation of a grin. Perhaps on an intact krogan face it would be an actual smile, but with the set of scars – quite obviously from something with _vicious_ claws – it only served to make him look maniacally scary. "And _that's_ why I like you, Shepard." He turned then, heading for the lift.

Sam turned to find Shepard standing with a smirk on her face. It faded rapidly, however, the commander's brows drawing together, the scar on her forehead puckering as worry-lines appeared between her brows. Shaking her head, she headed for the lift herself, waiting while it came back from taking Wrex to the Crew Deck.

"Anything I should know about, ma'am?"

Shepard's head turned sharply, eyes focusing on Sam. She shook her head. "We're curing the genophage, apparently."

The lift chimed, admitting Shepard. The commander left, leaving Sam standing and staring after her, blinking as her brain tried to implode at the sheer absurdity of Shepard's simple statement.

* * *

"All right, Sammy, you can leave now. The _man_ is here to take over for Sur'Kesh." Specialist Rajad laughed at his own terrible joke.

Samantha pursed her lips. _One two three four five six seven eight nine ten. Nope, didn't help. He's still a twit._

"Specialist Rajad," Samantha said, turning and giving the taller man her best Serious Commander Face, "you will use my preferred title when we are on duty. You will _not_ call me an endearment you have not earned."

He raised his hands like _she_ was the one who was on the offensive. "Whoa, whoa. Calm down, sweetheart! No harm meant by it!"

 _ **Bloody**_ _hell._ "I am not your sweetheart, Specialist Rajad. The only people in this entire galaxy who have earned the right to call me either of those things are my family. Are you my family, Rajad?"

"No-"

"Precisely. You will call me by my title and name, or you will be facing an official reprimand."

Rajad's face showed his incredulity. "What for?!"

Samantha forced herself to remain cool, calm. "Insubordination. Now. Petty Officer Rajad. Will there be any further incidents?"

His face twitched, his mouth opening once or twice before he finally answered. "No, Petty Officer Traynor."

"Good." She nodded, turning back around to close down her work station. As she passed him, she heard a whispered "fucking bitch."

Flames immediately erupted behind Sam's vision. There were two things Samantha could _not_ stand. One was a finger wagging in her face. The other was being called a bitch. Not that she'd been called it much. But whenever she had been, it carried such a sexist connotation, one that she had _not_ earned. She was a bitch for insisting she be called by her name? How would he feel if she called him Teddy, the nickname and boyish endearment for his name of Theodore? How would he feel if she belittled him, made him feel as though he were a child at every turn? How _dare_ he?!

Spinning, she immediately addressed him. "What was that, Specialist Rajad?"

He didn't turn to face her right away. "I didn't say anything."

"He called you a 'fucking bitch,' Specialist Traynor," EDI's voice supplied helpfully. And loudly. Sam immediately felt the eyes of those at other stations on the CIC start to turn toward her.

Somehow, this didn't intimidate her. If anything, it encouraged her. She had _all these witnesses._

Sam nodded. "That's what I _thought_ I heard." She regarded Rajad, who was now turned toward her, a sour expression on his face. He did not like that he was caught, but it was clear he didn't think she could do much about it. "You dare address your superior in such a manner, Specialist Rajad?"

"You don't have to be such a hardass about things. I don't mean anything by it-"

"Specialist Rajad, you are violating the laws of good order and discipline upon a military vessel, and have committed an Article 91 infraction multiple times."

"This will be Specialist Rajad's third verbal reprimand in a year's time, Specialist Traynor. Paired with his multiple letters of reprimand, you are required to report his misconduct to Commander Shepard regardless."

 _God bless you, EDI, and your wealth of information on personnel records_.

"Shut _up_ you fucking machine," Rajad growled.

"Specialist Rajad, you will treat EDI as any other member of the crew." All eyes were on her. It was strange. Since when did she grow all these ovaries? _I'm a bloody coward._

_But you beat that today! You talked to Dr. T'Soni! You met Urdnot Wrex and didn't pass out! You stuck it to Rajad and the Code of Conduct is on your side!_

_It does feel good…_

"God you really are a fucking bitch!" Rajad burst out, taking a step toward her, both hands raised, causing Sam to take an involuntary step backward. "Just because you're fucking Shepard-"

A resounding _crack_ reverberated through the room as a fist flew into Rajad's chin, snapping his whole head up. But it was not Sam who assaulted the man. Instead, Commander Shepard was suddenly at Samantha's side, hand still balled into a fist.

"I don't have time for this bullshit on my ship," she said, her voice ringing through the CIC. The room was so silent one could hear a pin drop. "Specialist Rajad, you will spend the rest of the trip until we reach an Alliance detention facility down in the brig for insubordination. You have to respect the goddamn uniform, soldier. And you obviously don't."

Sam snapped to attention, saluting. "Commander Shepard, I apologize for the public scene. I didn't realize you had witnessed that."

"At ease, please." Shepard was still scowling down at Rajad, on his ass on the floor. "You were handling it. I didn't wanna interfere." Shepard, now in her standard casual fatigues, shook her head, rubbing her hands at her temples. Then she looked up to the rest of the room. "Back to work, people. The show is over. And someone get his ass to the brig," she added, gesturing at Rajad.

Looking back down, Shepard smirked. "And well done, Sam. You're turning into quite the badass."

Sam couldn't keep the smirk from her face. "Only the baddest of asses will do for _you_ , ma'am."

"Don't Ma'am me when we're off duty. How about a drink or some chess? Go get out of that what I know is incredibly uncomfortable uniform and meet in the lounge, yeah?"

"All right," Sam said with a smile. "I hope that means you won't be keeping it _too_ professional?"

Shepard smirked, then winked before turning and moving away. As the commander boarded the lift, Sam realized something. _Shit, what about the comms? Me and Halanz are going to have to split the twenty-four hours, and that's going to suck, and…_

"I will monitor communications until we get close to Sur'Kesh, Specialist Traynor," EDI supplied into her earbud. "That will give you and Commander Shepard enough time to plan an alternate schedule for the communications station."

"Bless you, EDI, you have been a godsend time and again today."

"You're very welcome, Specialist Traynor," EDI said cordially.

Sam entered the lift with a skip in her step. As the doors closed, a pale hand halted the door. The journalist that James had insisted was staring at her the day before entered the lift, large, dark eyes on Sam, a smile on her face.

"Mind if I join you?" Her voice was playful, and her smile was nice, and if Sam wasn't completely delusional, the woman _totally_ just gave her the once-over. The smile remained. She liked what she saw.

_Bloody hell. Why? Why is this woman interested? I have no clue what to do with this._

"That was an impressive display back there," she said once the lift was moving. Sam selected their floor. This wouldn't be so bad. Just a quick trip down to the Crew Deck. No big deal.

"I… admit I surprised myself." Sam was playing it over and over in her mind. Where had she found all those ovaries that took? She had never had such a backbone in all her life. _I guess having an audience really does help._

The lift chimed. "Well, it was certainly a nice view," the woman said, her eyelashes fluttering. Stepping out of the lift, the journalist held out her hand. "I'm Diana Allers. I report for the ANN's show Battlespace."

"Um… Communications Specialist Samantha Traynor. I'm… the lead communications specialist…" _Your powers of flirtation leave something to be desired, Sammy. How did you nab Ashley?_

_Ashley's attention was_ _**wanted** _ _. As is Shepard's, to a certain extent. What am I supposed to do with this woman? Flirt back? Ignore her? That would be rude. Besides, I could use a friend who's a girl… the makeup tips_ _**alone** _ _would make it worth it._

_Sammy, you wear makeup, like, hardly ever._

_But if I choose to, it would be nice to do it right!_

"It was good to meet you, Samantha. It's been lonely on the ship the past few days. Maybe we can sit together for a meal sometime? I could use someone to talk to."

Samantha smiled, nodding. She certainly knew _that_ feeling. "That sounds perfectly lovely to me, Diana. I have an appointment to keep right now, though. Perhaps at dinner, or breakfast tomorrow?"

Diana's smile was coy, her eyes hooded as she said, "I look forward to it." Then she was gone, leaving Sam wondering what the _bloody hell_ had just happened. Blinking stupidly a moment, Sam finally shrugged, turning for the crew quarters to change into her fatigues before joining Shepard in the lounge.

* * *

{ _So let me get this straight_.} Ashley's face was incredulous, but a beaming smile shone through nonetheless. { _Your subordinate called you a fucking bitch and you called him on it? Officially reprimanded him and everything?_ }

Samantha nodded. "That's a tidy summation of my part in it, yes."

Ashley grinned. { _I'm marrying a fucking badass._ }

"Um, I'm not the one who punched him in the jaw," Samantha reminded.

{ _Yeah yeah whatever. Baddest-ass part was you, baby._ }

Sam blushed. "Right. So. Something else happened, too."

Ashley got a skeptical look. { _What?_ }

"I, well… So Shepard's a giant flirt. Just like you."

Ashley just nodded. { _Right._ }

_Oh good. Not even phased. How'd I get lucky enough for my girlfriend (fiancée! She's your fiancée, Sammy!) to not have a true jealous bone in her body? Just joking jealousy. And_ _**that** _ _kind is great fun._

"All right, so, she greeted me this morning kind of flirtatiously, and I responded in kind, and this time, out of _nowhere_ she goes all white and mumbles something about keeping things appropriate. Apologized for making me uncomfortable and everything."

{ _Weird. What did you say?_ }

"I asked her if she always flirted with her comms person, or if I was special in some way. I didn't mean anything by it. I just… was feeling playful, I guess."

To her surprise, Ashley whistled low. { _Damn, baby. You wouldn't know it, but you hit below the belt._ }

Sam knit her brows in confusion. "How?"

{ _So… her and Liara? They're on rough waters because they were on a break while Shepard took down the Collectors. If it was a shock to_ _ **me**_ _to see her alive, I can't imagine how fucked up it would be to have your_ _ **girlfriend**_ _come back from the dead. Shepard hooked up with and caught feelings for her yeoman during that time. She caught some_ _ **hard**_ _feelings. They haven't gone away. So she's effectively in love with both of them. And she doesn't know where that girl is now, except on the run from Cerberus._ }

Sam's heart sank. "So when I said that…"

Ashley nodded. { _Yep. She got all guilty and realized she was doing it again. Even if you wouldn't ever hook up with her, even if she doesn't actually have any plans to try to get you into bed, she caught herself in a pattern. And felt like shit about it._ }

"I'll keep that in mind, I guess. I suppose I shouldn't say anything since she wasn't the one to tell me that personal detail…"

{ _Probably wise._ }

After a pause, in which Sam had no idea what to say, she remembered the part that immediately followed the Awkward. "Oh, but something else happened, too!"

Ashley perked up. { _The way you said that makes me think it's something good. Spill!_ }

"I, um, got coined. For the first time."

Ashley blinked a few times before she grinned. Then that grin turned into a _whoop_. { _Ha ha! That's my girl! I bet it was for Grissom, huh?_ }

Sam couldn't help it. Ashley's good cheer was infectious. It always was. She grinned back as she nodded. "Yes. For Grissom."

{ _So what does it look like? Miriam coined me after the Citadel. I wonder if she commissioned the same coin?_ }

Sam ducked her head in shame. She was once-again in the Engineering subdeck, trying to have a peaceful conversation with her fiancée before communications were cut during the ground mission on Sur'Kesh. It was well-past dinner on the ship, though it was only mid-morning on the part of the planet they would be visiting. Halanz would be covering the mission, with a new system worked out between the two of them and EDI when they weren't actively on the ground. At least until they could get a replacement for Rajad. He was _so_ fired. Shepard had said so.

"I… actually never looked at it in detail. It's… been an eventful day."

{ _Well. Let's see it now!_ }

Sam nodded, dutifully fishing in her pockets for the coin. She studied it for a moment, struck by the strength of its simplicity. One side had a small interpretation of the _Normandy_ , the words "Normandy SR-2" around the edge. The other side held both the Alliance symbol and that of the Citadel Council's Special Tactics and Reconnaissance division, with "Earth Systems Alliance" and "Council Spectre" around the edge. It was simple, nothing about Shepard specifically mentioned, and yet to hold one of these would mean it could only have been issued by Commander Shepard.

She held it up for Ashley to see. { _Nice. She had it made similar. Mine has SR-1 on it, but that's the only difference I can see._ } Ashley beamed. { _We'll have to get you a plaque to mount them on_.}

"'Them'? I only have one, Ash."

{ _You're on an active-duty warship going after the Reapers, and you're smarter than anyone else on that ship. You'll get more, Sam._ }

Samantha was dubious. "We'll see. What's going on with you?"

{ _Oh, you know_ ,} Ashley said with a shrug. { _Me and Tim are hanging out. He wants to get a job. I'm not sure where to send him._ }

"Oh I bet he'd be well-suited for a desk-job with the Alliance." Sam chuckled. "He'll hate it, but it'll be good for him."

{ _That's an idea. Oh and that Commander Bailey. Maybe C-Sec could use someone like him? I'll ask Tim, see which he'd prefer. Oh, and I officially accepted Udina's offer. I… hope you don't mind?_ }

Sam smiled. "I knew you would. We did actually talk about it, remember?" Honestly she wasn't sure at first how to feel about Ashley being a Spectre. Yes, it meant Ashley would be in more danger, but Samantha had watched her nearly die. After that, nothing seemed any worse than what had already happened. And the Williams Curse breaking… Samantha was mostly happy, and a little nervous. She supposed that was an okay place to be with something like this.

{ _Fuck, Sam. Why you gotta be so goddamn understanding? You make me feel like a total douche for not saying anything right away_.}

"That's because it was absolutely wrong of you not to say anything right away," Sam said with a wink. "But it's all right. I forgive you. Unless you'd rather I not be so reasonable?"

{ _No, no, I like you just the way you are. You wouldn't be my Nerdy Sam Traynor if you were any other way_.} Ashley's smile was warm as she merely gazed at Sam. It made the comm's specialist blush to know someone could love her _that_ much. { _Hey. We should think about tying the knot, shouldn't we?_ }

It was so out of the blue Samantha could only say, "Oh!"

{ _I just mean, you know… we're in a war, and we might not get the chance…_ }

Sam's heart sank. Such a bittersweet proposal. "I was hoping to find my family… I wanted them there for it. Yours, too."

Ashley nodded, eyes turned down. { _I know. But, I… well, I want back on the ship when I'm healthy, and I want to protect you any way I can from being moved away from me or whatever. I want any benefits I have to go to you. You know. Make it as official as possible. We'd have a real wedding with our families and stuff when they turn up. And I'm hoping I can use my Spectre access to find them. Hell, it's half the reason I accepted…_ }

Sam's heart melted into a warm puddle of love. This beautiful, loyal, wonderful woman wanted to use whatever means were available to be both near her and protect her. This was the only family she had at the moment. Her and Tim. How could she say no? "Oh, Ashley… you are just so wonderful. Yes, absolutely. Let's do it as soon as we can. When we're next on the Citadel, perhaps? Maybe Shepard can officiate? I can ask her."

{ _Yeah, okay. Sounds good to me. I… I love you Sam._ }

"I-"

"I apologize, Specialist Traynor, but it is time for me to cut all unofficial communications," EDI's voice announced through her ship radio.

Sam sighed. "Yes, all right, EDI. I love you Ash. I'll call when I can, yeah?"

Ashley nodded. { _Yeah. I love you, too. Try to get some sleep_.}

Sam snorted. "During a mission, with Joker piloting? Sure. I'll need five cups of coffee in the morning just to stay awake."

She signed off, wandering up to the lift. As she waited, she pulled her engagement ring out of her shirt, where it was safely secured on the chain alongside her dog tags. _I'm getting married. Soon. Holy shit._

_What a fucking day._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So a HUGE thanks to Raven Sinead for 1) suggesting the coining, and 2) helping me get all this military stuff correct. I had good bones laid out, but she made it look and sound a whole lot better.
> 
> If you'd like to see what the coining entails, look up "challenge coins" on wikipedia.


	24. Spectre Perks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am pleased with how this chapter turned out, but GODDAMN was it slow-moving. Like, I finally had to get drunk. Then it came to me. Jaysus...
> 
> As for the middle section, you have a good buddy of mine to thank for the direction I took. Wanna give her credit, even if I know she wouldn't wanna be mentioned by her pen name.
> 
> And of course Raven Sinead is a wonderful beta goddess who puts up with my shitty drunk sentence-structure. And if you ever want entertainment, write something drunk, have it betad by someone who's high on narcotics, and then go back sober and read what she had to say. It's fucking hilarious.
> 
> All right, without further ado...

 

**Ashley**

Ashley was sweaty and gross, but that was simply how it had to be. She was feeling good. Her session with her physical therapy class had gone well, and just now she saw Thane walking through the halls with another drell.

 _I bet that's his son. Isn't the guy around Tim's age? Or the drell equivalent of his age... Maybe I can introduce them. He's not human, but they could be friends._ It occurred to her just how thoroughly she had changed her tune from when she had joined Shepard's crew three years ago. It wasn't that she had hated aliens per se. She was resentful of how it seemed humans were locked out of governing, yes, but she wasn't dumb enough to think that was the fault of every individual alien she came across. With them it was simply that she was entirely naïve regarding non-humans, and was horrible at covering up her discomfort. It wasn't until Miriam told her to knock it the fuck off that Ashley realized that her bluff and bluster was actually horribly offensive.

" _How would you feel if Garrus walked in here and said all of us didn't look much different from monkeys or pyjaks, Williams?"_

That had shut her up. She'd decided to just watch, observe, and try not to talk or comment on something unless she was talking to someone safe, like Miriam or Alenko. She also tried as hard as she could to imagine what their shoes must fit like, so to speak. Liara had opened up first, asking her about her sisters, and wondering what that must be like. Then Tali had asked her what it was like to leave home and not go back, as most quarians tended to serve the Flotilla in close proximity to family. Garrus had approached her about gun mods, and she learned that she and Wrex had a shared affinity for big fucking explosions, and then suddenly she was surrounded by _people_ , not _aliens_.

Now she could add a drell to her unorthodox friends list. Life had a funny way of turning your previous expectations of yourself on their head.

"Hey, Thane!" she called, rounding the corner to see identical drell backs walking away from her. Thane's son was actually a little taller than his father, and they wore different clothes, but otherwise she couldn't tell them apart from behind, at first. But as they both turned, the difference in their skin tone was immediately obvious. Also obvious was the vibrancy in Thane's son in comparison to Thane himself. Ashley supposed it shouldn't have surprised her: Thane was terminally ill, and older. His scales were a dull green where his son's were a bright and shining blue-green, looking almost like they were shined and polished in comparison to his father.

It made Ashley incredibly sad. No matter what they did for him, he simply would not survive this illness. He might even die before this war with the Reapers was decided.

 _That might be a kindness. He can die with hope_.

_When the hell did I get so melodramatic?_

_Poetry is melodramatic, Ash._

… _Fair._

"Ashley," Thane greeted as she got closer. "This is my son, Kolyat. Kolyat, this is the Alliance soldier I was telling you I had become acquainted with, Ashley Williams."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," the kid said, holding out his hand in a decidedly human gesture.

"You shake hands?" Ashley asked.

He smiled. "I am somewhat familiar with human customs, as I work with C-Sec."

Ashley blushed, taking his hand. "Right. I forgot about that.. It's nice to finally meet you, Kolyat. Your father speaks very highly of you."

The younger drell blinked that same strange double-blink his father shared and asked, rather bluntly, "I trust he is not exerting himself here? I worry about him."

Ashley smirked at Thane, who had cleared his throat reproachfully at his son's comment. "As far as I know, he's doing nothing he's not supposed to be doing."

The kid nodded. "I am glad."

"We do not wish to keep you, Ashley," Thane said, brows creasing in concern. "Were you on your way out?"

"Yeah, I gotta go get Tim and take him to C-Sec to see if they need anyone before I go to Udina to talk about being granted Spectre status early."

They both just stared confusedly at her for a moment.

She felt her face heat in embarrassment. "Sorry. That made no sense to you, huh? Tim is my fiancée's brother. He's staying with me because he has nowhere else. His Alliance program is shut down, so he has nothing to do and nowhere to go. He wants a job, so I was thinking either Alliance desk jockey or C-Sec. He has some military training, and he's a total tech geek like his sister. Figured that might come more in handy for C-Sec than the Alliance. Plus, then he can't be deployed. I don't want Sam worrying about him."

"I could come with you," Kolyat offered after a moment. "I know Commander Bailey personally. And you are about to be a Spectre, yes? Bailey would jump at the chance for someone fresh and full of so much potential. And with some training and skill, to top it off."

"That's a great idea! Thanks, Kolyat. I really appreciate it!"

He smiled. "Think nothing of it. I will meet you there in thirty minutes?"

"Sure. I'll see you in a bit."

She headed home with a spring in her step, barely even noticing the residual ache in her neck.

* * *

Meeting Bailey had been… interesting. He was so jaded, and yet cared a great deal about the citizens of the Citadel. While complaining about them the whole time. It was obvious he came from nothing, and while he would protect even the well-off, entitled assholes who took up most of his time, the people he cared most about were the little people. He had started a program for the duct rats they pulled out, getting the kids cleaned up and in school with places to come home to afterward. It didn't work with every one of them, but there had been a marked improvement in the population of homeless children since he had been placed in command of C-Sec.

He had also started a work program for homeless people of teen age and older. They worked cleaning alongside the Keepers, which wasn't glamorous but it was _something_ , and it gave them a wage with which they could purchase food and better clothes. He couldn't get them beds, but it was what he was able to do in the six short months since he'd been promoted. It wasn't his job, per se, as head of security, but as much of his job as a grunt had been literally pulling tiny dead bodies that had been exposed to vacuum out of vents or having to arrest teens already addicted to red sand, he had made it his prerogative to save more lives.

Ashley learned all of this information from Kolyat after meeting the gruff, no-nonsense guy. The drell seemed to hold the man in high esteem. Thane had told her that Miriam had been the one to convince Bailey to let Kolyat work for him. She could see now that her former commander obviously had good instincts, as Kolyat's entire disposition had turned around from what Thane had described. He was now productive, and visited his father regularly, and seemed to genuinely care about both his work and his only parent left living.

She hoped it didn't break him too badly when Thane finally passed away.

Bailey had taken one look at Tim and accepted him as a cadet. Tim would now be answering calls and learning procedure in the morning and doing C-Sec's version of boot camp in the afternoon. Just like that. Bailey didn't need to interview him or check his references. He trusted Kolyat, and that was that. If Tim failed, he'd be out, but if he did well, Ashley was sure he would be working for good people who would reward him for it. And if they all survived this war? He could go back to his college/Alliance tech program when it reopened.

Now, she was headed to the embassies, having left Tim at C-Sec – Bailey was open to him starting immediately, and Tim was all for it. It wasn't much of a walk, but she enjoyed the chance to be out and not be stuck in that hospital room. The apartment had made this stay on the Citadel more than tolerable; it was, in fact, a fucking paradise, especially considering that out there, in the rest of the galaxy, there was a war going on.

It also had her feeling guilty, though. Everyone she knew was either dead or fighting. And here she was, living in luxury. Sam, the non-combatant who was just supposed to be developing and fixing tech, was out on a warship and Ashley Williams, the marine, was here on the Citadel enjoying life among a population seemingly unconcerned with the war going on nearly everywhere else in the galaxy.

What was wrong with the people here? Did they not realize there was a war? Or was this just an oasis in a desert, necessary as a safe port in the storm for people to get their bearings and prepare for the next assault? She couldn't tell. For _her_ , it was the latter, but there were plenty here who seemed to think the war was _out there_ and had nothing to do with them. The looks she'd seen people in expensive clothing give to the cramped, dirty refugees…

_We have to stop this war. I can't wish it would come here. I gotta stop it before it gets here. This is their ultimate destination, remember? The Protheans lost their seat of intergalactic government first. The fact the war isn't here is a_ _**good** _ _thing. It means they haven't won._

_The Reapers have not won._

Her reverie was derailed as she came to a halt outside Udina's office.

 _All right, Ashley,_ she told herself. _Just play nice a little longer and you'll get what you need._

She reached up, selecting the call button next to the view screen. After only a couple of seconds, Udina's form appeared on the small screen on the wall before her.

{ _Ah, Lietenant-Commander. Come in._ }

Ashley watched humanity's councilor lean toward the camera, where the control panel for the intercom and vidscreen would be located. His lips moved, his eyes flashed, and then he was beckoning toward the camera, toward her. At that moment, the mag lock on the door snapped and the door opened. Ashley stepped inside the opulent office, attempting to focus upon the man and task at hand despite the lovely view of the Presidium through the floor-to-ceiling windows before her.

"Commander Williams," Udina said, hand extended. "Thank you for coming."

Ashley accepted the proffered hand and had to suppress a shudder. The councilor's skin was cool and clammy, his grasp limp at the wrist. It felt like she was holding a dead fish, and she wondered again if she made the right decision. Her father had told her that a person – especially a leader – with a weak handshake could be only one of two things: lazy, or a coward.

But the resources available by being a Spectre… she could protect people. She could protect the _Normandy_. She could protect Sam. She could find their families.

 _This is the right choice. With higher rank comes having to deal with more shitheads who think they're the greatest thing since the discovery of the relays. It just… comes with the territory_.

"Thank you for meeting with me, Councilor," she said, silently praising God when she let go of his hand. She resisted the urge to wipe her palm on her fatigues. She could stand the feeling until she could take a detour to the john to wash her hands.

"Please, sit," he said, gesturing to the chairs on the other side of his desk as he resumed his own seat. She did as he suggested, perching herself in a beautiful wooden chair likely worth more than the prefab she'd grown up in. Wood was expensive on a space station. _Everything's expensive on a space station_.

"So," he said after a moment, leaning back in his seat like they were in his sitting room and not in the office for humanity's Councilor. Ashley couldn't decide if the lack of formality in his bearing made her uneasy, or if it made her more comfortable. "Second Human Spectre. Quite a move out of the gutter for your family name, Williams."

 _Does he have to say it so… insultingly?_ "Yes, sir. I'm eager to prove that you and the other councilors made the right choice in selecting me for this opportunity."

"Hopefully better than _last_ time," Udina muttered, just loud enough for Ashley to hear him. She fought not to frown. What was his angle, always bringing Shepard into this? Was she always going to be compared to Miriam? First the Williams name, now Shepard's shadow? When would she be able to just be _her_?

"So you wanted partial access to your Spectre resources now, yes? For communications and research purposes?"

Ashley nodded. "Yes, sir, if it's possible. I know you have a lot to do without arranging something like this before I'm even any use to you…"

"It's really nothing, Commander," Udina said, dismissing her concern with a wave of his hand. "If you wanted more it might be an issue, but communications are understandable. Just… don't abuse it and be on there at all hours. I know it's tempting, what with your fiancée off gallivanting around the galaxy on the _Normandy_."

Ashley started. _Did I tell him Sam is on the ship? I don't remember…_ "I promise not to abuse it, sir. I just want to see if I can find a few people; see if I can touch bases."

"That sounds perfectly reasonable to me, Williams. It's good to have someone with a family in the ranks – the ones that don't lose sight of what's really important, because they have nothing to lose. It makes them effective at some things, but I think I'd much rather have those who've retained their humanity around myself and my colleagues. We have to be able to empathize with each other, especially among those of other races, yes?"

His words made sense, and yet they left Ashley feeling… icky. And she had no response to them. She merely shrugged noncommittally and said, "I'll do my best."

"I hope everything is all right out there on that ship," he mused as he handed a datapad across the desk to her. "From the reports I've read, Shepard and several of her crew actually went onto a derelict _Reaper_. Spent a good few hours on it, and then the Collector base. Installed Reaper hardware on their ship. Who _knows_ what could've happened? Shepard with Cerberus, the _Normandy_ with Reaper tech installed… it's a testament to your trust and friendship that you're so comfortable with your fiancée serving on that ship, Commander. I admire that trust."

Ashley just sat, blinking, hand still in the air where she had taken the datapad from him. Her heart refused to beat for a moment, and then suddenly it slammed into her ribs as the bitter taste in the back of her mouth heralded adrenaline being introduced into her bloodstream. _Fuck. I never even thought of that. Cerberus is clearly indoctrinated. What if Shepard is? Indoctrinated people don't even know it. Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck._

"All the details you'll need will be in that datapad, Williams. Now, I apologize, but I scheduled a meeting directly after yours. If you'll excuse me…"

Ashley nodded, got up, said, "Of course," and left. She was on autopilot. All she could think of was Sam. _What do I do? Is he right? Is there nothing to worry about, or_ _ **everything**_ _to worry about?_

She left his office in a daze, not knowing what to think.

* * *

The Spectre offices were… interesting. And completely empty, as everyone was out on assignment. Except for Ashley. She was still a bit shaken, but one thing she had gotten good at as a soldier was compartmentalizing things when necessary. Freaking out about Sam's safety would do her absolutely _zero_ good at the moment. She would just have to worry about it later. She'd talk to Sam. And Miriam. And maybe finally give Liara a call. They used to be friends. And Liara wasn't on the ship for the Collectors, otherwise Miriam wouldn't be having her little problem about that other woman. Liara would be honest, keep an eye out for signs of indoctrination.

Now, however, she had an opportunity. To try to find her mom, her sisters, Sam's folks. She could see if Sarah's husband got recalled. _I'm sure he did. We need every able person we have right now_.

Ashley had already entered the codes and downloaded the programs to her omnitool that were now available to her as a Spectre. But the fancy hardware and souped-up imaging systems were in this physical place, so she wanted to begin her search here. Pulling up her omnitool, she linked it with the terminal in the private communications booth she had just entered. She began typing once the holographic interface appeared.

Ashley was no computer wiz, but her fiancée was, and she'd picked up a few tips and tricks. The first of which was how to type faster. She'd always avoided practicing that skill, but the months of being a long-distance couple without assurances of privacy for voice calls had made it necessary for her to learn how to type faster. For the cyber-sex, if nothing else. More than that, though, being with Sam had done incredible things for her self-confidence.

Ashley had always been a confident woman. But she'd never felt like she had much to bring to the table when it came to her brain. Sure, she could field strip a weapon and run for days, but she'd always felt like she was of average intelligence at best. Samantha, on the other hand, was ridiculously smart. But Ashley could _keep up_ with her. Sure, sometimes Sam would go on about something Ashley had a hard time understanding, but her nerdy girlfriend always made it very clear that it just wasn't something Ash knew _yet_. Sam had a way of making Ashley look at a _lot_ of things differently from how she had before. Sam made her feel like a million bucks.

Now, she plugged into that newfound confidence with tech, starting with a basic, bland search on the extranet. It took a while, but after some fiddling and cross-referencing between different search databases, she did finally find something.

Or nothing.

"Shit… Horizon," Ashley murmured to herself, a frown firmly in place. There had been no word from Horizon, not even on emergency lines. It was like the entire fucking _planet_ had gone dark. It wasn't necessarily bad – there also hadn't been any Reaper activity reported – but it wasn't necessarily a good thing. It was just… uncertain. And uncertainty was its own form of torture.

Saving what information she could, Ashley moved on, not looking forward to that conversation with Sam, but at least secure in the knowledge that between the two of them, they'd done all they could.

Even as a Spectre, Ashley couldn't access secure Alliance records. Which sucked. On a whim, she pinged her sister's ID, not thinking anything would come of it. It hadn't _yet_.

But apparently this Spectre communications access was good for _something_ , because almost immediately there was a response. Heart suddenly hammering in her chest, Ashley couldn't answer the call fast enough.

An image of a young woman with long, reddish-brown hair appeared before her, in miniature.

"Sarah!"

{ _Ashley? Is that really you?_ }

"Sarah, you… it's so good to see you!" Ashley paused, brows furrowing in concern. "You look like shit."

It was true. Her sister's hair was disheveled, there were dark pits under her eyes, and she wore sweatpants and a baggy t-shirt. Given that Sarah won Best Dressed in high school, that alone would've told Ashley that something was up.

Sarah didn't even laugh at Ashley's exclamation. Another indication the almost-Spectre was about to get bad news

{ _Well, I feel like shit, so I guess that works._ }

"Sarah, what's wrong?"

{ _He's dead, Ash. They recalled him when the fighting broke out on Earth, and he's dead. I just…_ } Sarah started crying quietly. { _I don't know what to do…_ }

Ashley's heart broke. She wanted to reach out and hug her sister, but the image before her wasn't even life-size. They were light years away from each other. There was no way… _Unless…_

"Come to the Citadel, Sarah. I have room. I'm here… it's a long story why I'm here. But come here, I've got room for you. You should be with family."

Sobs under control, Sarah sniffed, regarding her sister. { _I… that's perfect. I've been wanting my big sister… Oh! Shit! You don't even know! I've got Mom, Ash! I've got_ _ **everyone**_ _!_ }

Ashley was stunned. She couldn't even quite process what she'd heard. " _Everyone_? Tina and Roo-roo, too?" she asked, using her nickname for the sister who had spent an entire fall and winter dressed in a kangaroo costume as a kid.

Sarah nodded. { _Yeah. I… the ship we caught transport with kept me on, and I got a message from Mom. They got off Earth, and we met up, and now we're just kind of wandering aimlessly. The captain of this vessel got conscripted to transport refugees just yesterday, so we're actually headed to the Citadel to pick some_ _ **up**_ _and take them to a remote colony the Reapers have left alone. It's been… well, thank God for Mom._ }

Ashley nodded, knowing what Sarah meant. "Stoic as ever?"

{ _Yep._ } Sarah's eyes were dry now. Ashley understood. When their dad died, that was what it had been like. Random bursts of tears followed by a joke, or nothing, or crying during a vid and then being fine. It just… _hit_ you randomly like that, for the most inane of reasons. Ashley once started bawling because there was an ad for an aftershave her father _hated_ , for fuck's sake.

"Fuck. This is great news, Sarah! We haven't been able to find anyone for weeks!"

{ _Oh shit…Sam. Is she okay? You guys were together when you got off Earth, right?_ }

Ashley nodded, smiling. "Yeah, yeah, she's fine. She's actually serving on the _Normandy_ with Commander Shepard."

Sarah gave her a knowing look. { _And you're not…_ }

Ashley blushed. "Yeah…"

{ _You got hurt, didn't you? I can see the bruising on your face, Ash._ }

 _Fuck. Keep forgetting about that._ Ashley scrubbed a hand through her hair. "Yeah…"

Her sister was quiet a moment. { _Well, I'm glad you're better. But I take it you're not well enough to serve?_ }

"Nah. Got a few more weeks of physical therapy. But I'm moving okay, just not weaned off the pain medication yet. And my face is a fucking mess, but it looks worse than it feels, and it looks better than it did a week or two ago. I have some good news, though." She held up her hand, showing off the ring Sam had given her. She'd save the Spectre news until they got to the space station. Soften the blow of having to share a studio apartment with herself and Sam's brother.

The reaction was immediate: Sarah actually screamed. { _Ashley! Oh, I can't believe it! When did you propose?!_ }

" _She_ did, actually. The night before the attack…"

Sarah gave a whistle. { _Damn, Ash. Bad luck with that timing._ }

Ashley chuckled. "Bad luck, or divine intervention. We did both get off-world, on the _Normandy_ , no less. How many people can say that for themselves?" _Fuck, that was heartless as shit. Her brand new husband just fucking died. I an asshole._

Sarah's expression got a little sad, but she then smiled, nodding. Ashley couldn't even _begin_ to imagine the rollercoaster of emotions her sister was going through. It made her really _need_ to talk to Sam, though. Just to cement in her mind that her fiancée was healthy and whole and undamaged.

_You don't know that Ashley. They could all be following an indoctrinated CO. That AI on the ship could still be under Cerberus's leash. Garrus and Joker and Chakwas could all be indoctrinated, too. You just don't know. You're stuck here being useless instead, and Sam's on that ship without you._

_Fuck. I hate not being able to_ _**do** _ _anything._

Ashley forcibly removed herself from her doubts, refocusing on her sister and _her_ needs. "Jeez, Sarah, I'm sorry…"

{ _Ash, it's fine. You're allowed to be happy. I just… I can't even bury him. It's like Dad all over again._ }

Ashley nodded her understanding. Their father had been missing in action. No remains were ever collected. They'd had a funeral mass for him, but there was nothing to put in the ground. It had been... _lacking_ in closure. Now Sarah would go through that again. _Fuck, she needs to get here, like, yesterday_.

"I'm sorry you have to go through this, sis. We weren't close, but he was a good man. I'm glad I got a chance to know him a little. Get here soon, Sarah. I'll set you up. I have an apartment here. You guys can stay. And I have Sam's little brother. Someone for mom to, you know, _mom_."

It was Sarah's turn to chuckle. { _She'll love that. God, does she need it. It's been a little suffocating. We were gonna go to the next colony world and try to make do with some military camp rations and crop seeds. It's what the people we're picking up were gonna do. But I think I like this idea better. All of us together._ }

"Together is good," Ashley said with a nod.

{ _All right, I should go. Share the good news. I'll be in touch. Send me your address? I'm guessing whatever fancy thing you did to get a hold of me isn't usually available?_ }

Ashley smirked. "Another thing I'll tell you about when you get here. Take care, Sarah. I love you. Send my love to mom, Tina, and Roo, yeah?"

Sarah gave a mock salute. { _Aye, Commander Williams._ }

Ashley snorted as Sarah's image disappeared. Sighing, she turned, exiting the privacy booth. Looking around, she spotted a door next to a long row of windows. _Holy fuck is that a shooting range?!_

Maybe her call to Samantha could wait a little bit longer…


	25. Sur'Kesh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! We're back! So, a few things:
> 
> 1) Name change! Formerly Drummerchick7, I decided to change my fanfiction handle so I could streamline all my writing to be under the pseudonym I eventually hope to publish under. Nothing else has changed, I assure you.
> 
> 2) It's been quite a long hiatus on this project, for which I apologize. Dragon Age: Inquisition took over my brain and would not let me concentrate on this, so I took a break - longer than I initially expected - and wrote a continuation fic of my DA headcanon story, O Seeker Still Seeking. But my enthusiasm for this has returned, and I am excited to pick up where I left off!
> 
> 3) At some point I may go back and fix some things in the last 24 chapters. To get myself back into my characters, I went back and read what I've publish, and a big thing I've noticed is that I've gotten better in the last year. I write a little differently now. But I'm kind of okay with leaving proof of having gotten better over time, so I haven't decided yet.
> 
> 4) I have a facebook page! Feel free to friend/follow me there: facebook.com/drummerchick7fanfiction
> 
> 5) If you are at all interested in my original works, I'm beginning to publish some short stories on a blog with fellow author Raven Sinead. You are by no means required to check it out, but if you like, the link is: ravenandgrace.blogspot.com
> 
> Okay, I think that's it. I hope you enjoy this as we push back into the thick of things with Samantha and Ashley in Mass Effect 3!

**Samantha**

" _All hands to stations_ _!"_

The dreaded order in the middle of the night on a ship. Now it rang out, loud and clear, waking everybody up. Well, waking everyone who had not been awoken by the ship lurching and throwing them to the floor from their bunks.

_I'm going to have to start sleeping in a safety harness._

Samantha barely got her uniform on the right way. She'd only been sleeping for a few hours, and had been having the loveliest dream about Ashley, taking place in her old tiny apartment in Vancouver, and she was having a difficult time leaving that warmth and safety behind. Grabbing a gorgeous cup of coffee that was being handed to those just waking up, she took as big a gulp as its steaming heat would allow and got on the very full lift.

She looked up at her reflection in the metallic door as it closed and nearly jumped. _Jesus, is that my hair?! I'm going to have to work with my hair like that. No amount of hand-patting will flatten it. Dammit._

The door swished open as she took another gulp of coffee, and she stepped out of the lift to see the CIC a frenzy of activity. People ran here and there, every station was occupied, and incoherent shouting from one person to another filled the air. Taking a deep breath, Sam plunged right in.

"Halanz, status report," she ordered, going to the terminal that was usually Shepard's alone and pulling up the holographic interface. Typing in her credentials and allowing the retinal scan, she started the programs she would need, putting her earbud in as she took the last few sips of coffee. _Hopefully that'll kick in soon. I feel like my brain is slogging through molasses_.

"Cerberus is on Sur'Kesh," Halanz said, eyes not leaving her screen. "They're trying to hack into our communications. They haven't seized control, but they keep jamming our signal whenever they try. It's a nightmare to keep up with while also keeping an eye on the ground team."

"Damn. All right. You keep them out, and keep our signal clean. I'll take over with Shepard."

Halanz's tone was more than a little relieved when she answered. "Yes, ma'am. Thanks."

"Commander Shepard, this is Specialist Traynor. I'm taking over for Specialist Halanz from here on out," Sam said into her collar's microphone.

Shepard answered as Sam's video feed finally opened. On an explosion.

{ _We're getting hit hard by Cerberus, Traynor!_ } the commander ground out. { _Comms keep cutting out! We need to get up to the highest level and get that female on the shuttle!_ }

"We're addressing the communications issue, Commander," Sam said, pulling up a map of the compound where the galaxy map usually resided.

{ _I also need Wrex and Steve on this channel! They've got the shuttle we need to rendezvous with! Also- gah!_ } Shepard shouted, and the camera view jostled. Sam knew enough by now to recognize that Shepard had needed to jump out of the way. Rubble raining down just confirmed it. The camera righted among a few grunts, and then Shepard's voice sounded again. { _Goddamn motherfucking cocksuckers! That smoke is going to be a fucking problem! Sam! I need to know where to go! Where's the ladder or the stairs or something else we can use to get to the next damn level?! I can't see shit with the smoke they're throwing to mask their positions!_ }

"Try your infrared scope, ma'am," Sam said calmly, without thinking, remembering something Ash had once mentioned. "And I'm working on a route for you to take. I just need a moment to get a more detailed scan."

{ _Fast as you can, Traynor! That's the last living female krogan on this planet, and she's immune to the genophage!_ }

"Right you are, Commander." The fog of sleep had completely lifted. Sam had a Problem To Solve, and that part of her brain – and personality – was quickly taking over. Without thinking about the terror of the situation, Samantha switched the frequency so that she could communicate with everyone as they could with each other.

"I have found your way to the next floor," she broadcast. "Unfortunately, the majority of Cerberus's troops are between you and it."

{ _That at least gives us a direction to head, which is more than we had_ ,} Liara's voice piped softly into Sam's ear. { _Thank you._ }

{ _Shepard, dammit,_ _ **get up here**_ _!_ }

{ _I'm working on it Wrex! Kinda hard with bullets flying everywhere!_ }

 _This is the definition of a shit show_ , Sam thought to herself, knowing enough to stay _out_ of the conversation until she was needed once more.

James's voice came next. { _Díos_ _, Shepard, I can't see a goddamn thing!_ }

{ _Shepard, how are you suddenly getting them through the smoke?_ } Garrus asked.

{ _Our illustrious comms specialist is engaged to Williams, Vakarian. She suggested I use my thermal scope on my sniper, and it's working beautifully. Thank Ash for me, will you, Traynor?_ }

Sam blinked, realizing she was being drawn into this conversation. This conversation that was happening _in the middle of a battlefield_. "I… I'll be sure to, ma'am."

{ _This primitive form of communication is irritating_.} Samantha figured that must be Javik, the Prothean who looked remarkably like the Collectors. So far she had managed to avoid him altogether. She wasn't proud of it, but he creeped her out. He looked different from the Collectors, but still she remembered Ashley shooting one of those things, leaving it a gooey mess on her living room floor. Javik looked enough like them to bring the memory back every time she caught a glimpse of him. She didn't want to speak to him until the image had stopped burning itself on her retinas. Which meant probably never.

{ _I shall have to speak with this communications officer when we are back on the ship,_ } Javik said.{ _There must be an easier way to convey valuable data._ }

_Bloody hell. I don't want to talk to him!_

Shepard's out-of-breath voice huffed out, { _Head in the game, Javik! What you're using is what you've got, unless you were also a scientist who knows how to develop that crap?_ }

Her answer was a huff of air from the Prothean. Samantha silently blessed her commander.

Time passed as the ground team worked their way up several levels. At one point Samantha patched in the salarian doctor, who had the female krogan with him. She jumped in surprise when his voice started piping into her ear at lightning speed, but she grew accustomed to it quickly, continuing with her instructions to the ground team on where they should be going when they couldn't find it themselves.

Just when they seemed to be in the clear, a warning light began flashing on her screen. Selecting it, Samantha nearly yelped aloud when the big map zoomed out, showing a very large red blip moving at alarming speeds.

"Commander! Commander, there's something… bloody _huge_ coming for you!"

{ _Where from?_ }

"Above you!"

{ _Above m-_ }

Wrex's voice sounded at the same moment. { _Shepard, watch your ass!_ }

Shepard didn't get to finish her incredulous question, as at that moment there was a huge crash. Shepard's camera went flying to the ground. Scrabbling, yelling, and general chaos filled Sam's ear. The camera jolted, a giant piece of metal flashed into view, and then Sam saw what had come for them.

It was one of those Cerberus Atlas vehicles they had run into on Eden Prime and Grissom Academy, and it landed nearly _on top_ of Shepard and her team.

{ _Shepard, I can't land until you deal with that thing! It's too dangerous!_ }

{ _Since when does a krogan think anything is too dangerous, Wrex?!_ } Shepard shouted, laughing as Wrex swore into the comms in response.

{ _Door broken, can't get through, Shepard!_ } Mordin exclaimed. Shepard's camera whipped that direction briefly before the commander lunged, scrabbling behind something metal and solid.

 _I cannot believe this is combat,_ Sam thought, eyes wide as she watched her video feed. _This isn't even controlled chaos. It's just chaos._

A red blip on the galaxy map display caught her eye. "Commander, it's not just the atlas," she said, mentally counting the red dots. "I'm counting at least eight individual Cerberus troops on the ground."

A heavy exhale. { _Fine,_ } the commander said quietly, pulling up her omnitool. { _They wanna play it like this? Fine. I got my own little surprise for these fuckfaces_.} At a louder volume, she began directing her forces on the ground. { _All right, folks, listen up! Take out that atlas just like the last one!_ _ **I'll**_ _take care of the troops on the ground!_ }

{ _You're going to be invisible, aren't you?_ } Garrus's voice finally joined the chatter.

{ _Yeah, so don't shoot me._ }

{ _What? Lola can be invisible?!_ } James shouted, incredulous.

{ _Don't catch any flies with that open yapper, James,_ } Shepard said calmly, her fingers working nonstop over her omnitool. { _Just because your commander is smart and can program, too._ }

Suddenly Shepard was up and moving, her gun stowed in favor of the knife all marines kept in their boot. Samantha's heart slammed up into her throat, but as she watched, nobody seemed to notice her. Not a single head turned in her direction. _What the bloody hell?_

_Garrus said something about being invisible. What did he mean? Wait…_

Samantha opened another screen, the one monitoring Shepard's vital signs, and did some quick hacking to see what was going on.

_Jesus. Christ. She has a light-bending invisibility field?! I thought those were illegal…_

It didn't really matter, Sam supposed. The woman was a Spectre. They operated outside the law all the time.

Shepard was nearing a Cerberus trooper, sequestered behind a pillar. The knife flashed, and then he was on the ground, gurgling. Samantha flinched as the camera moved away from the rapidly-spreading pool of blood beneath the man. Watching shots land and troops die from a distance was _definitely_ a different experience from this. Samantha wasn't sure what to think as Shepard moved quickly from person to person, quietly and efficiently dealing death and then moving on before those left alive knew where to find her, though some of them tried.

Shepard was a techie geek like Sam. She was a flirt, and apparently a very loving, and very lovely, person.

And she was an efficient dealer in death.

_We're so alike. She and Ashley are so alike. How… am_ _**I** _ _capable of such things, as well?_

"Woo hoo!"

Sam looked up at the exclamation. She was surprised to find the CIC full of people, some cheering. She'd been so in the zone that she'd utterly forgotten everyone else. Glancing to the galaxy map display, she saw that the atlas had been taken down, the source of the whoops and shouts of celebration surrounding her. Looking back to Shepard's video feed, she saw the last of the enemy troops at Shepard's feet.

{ _Sam, I need you to tell me something._ }

Samantha blinked. "Um, yes, ma'am?"

{ _Can you see me?_ }

"Um… what?"

A chuckle. { _I can see myself when I use this hardware, but others have a hard time. So. Can you see me right now?_ }

"Oh, um. Yes, ma'am. I could see you that entire time, ma'am."

{ _Interesting. Wanna do the science research on why?_ }

Samantha blinked down at her view of Shepard's camera. "You're asking me? I have the right to refuse?"

{ _I'll take that as a no, then,_ } Shepard said with a chuckle. Then her voice rose for the whole squad. { _Let's go! Get everyone on the shuttle and let's get back to the Normandy! Now!_ }

Samantha sighed. _Good. Maybe I'll get to get some more sleep_.

* * *

Samantha couldn't sleep.

"Bloody coffee's too good at its job," she murmured to herself. Finally, she gave up, rolling off of her bunk, pulling on her sweat pants over her shorts ( _Ashley's shorts. God, I'm such a sappy little girl, wearing my fiancée's shorts to sleep in_ ), and walking out to the mess.

The female krogan, named Eve for now, was safely on board, sequestered in the medbay. The windows of the room were opaque for privacy's sake. Samantha couldn't blame her. She was a curiosity – female krogans never made it off Tuchanka, so most people had never seen one. In addition, the woman had been on display on Sur'Kesh, as far as Samantha could tell from what she'd seen and heard. A little privacy was more than understandable for the poor, sick krogan, last hope for her entire _species_.

"No pressure or anything, Eve," Samantha murmured to herself, running her hands through her hair as she sat at a table in the mess.

"Can't sleep?"

Sam jumped in surprise, trying to turn and regain her feet at the same time. Unfortunately, at an immoveable bench seat, this was an impossible maneuver, so all she accomplished was to trip and land right back on her arse. " _Bloody_ hell," Sam swore, trying to untangle her own feet.

"Whoa, it's okay, it's okay!"

Sam stopped trying to get up, turning to find it was the attractive reporter woman, Diana, who had snuck up on her. "Sorry," Sam murmured, shaking her head. "I'm a hot mess when I'm tired, apparently."

The woman sat opposite her at the table. They were the only two in the room. Diana was no longer in the slinky dress that seemed to be her uniform when she recorded her news segments. Instead, she wore simple black yoga pants and a white tank top, and in Sam's eyes, it raised her attractiveness quite a lot to see the woman with her hair down, so to speak. _Not that it matters one whit_ , she thought to herself.

"Don't worry about it," Diana said, smiling. "I get it. Tired but wired from caffeine, right?"

Sam nodded, resting her forehead in her palms once more. "It's… blimey, is this what it's always like on board a ship?"

"No," Diana said, shaking her head firmly. "Shepard's ship is special. But it would be. She's a Spectre, and besides that…"

Sam nodded. "She's _Shepard_. No one quite like her in the galaxy, I expect."

"Something like that, yeah. So, I take it you were called to your station for the fight down there?"

"Yes. Only a few hours' sleep necessitated coffee when I woke up, but now… I can't bloody sleep. So I got up."

"Trying to contact someone?" Diana asked, gesturing to Sam's data pad.

"Right again. Unfortunately, my brain's a little fried. I never even made it to the extranet." She sighed, looking up into Diana's hazel eyes. "I really need to at least relax, even if I'm not going to get any sleep. It was… intense down there. I feel like I have a wire coiled tight inside me."

Diana smiled. "Why don't we grab a drink? I'm awake because of Joker's flying. Adrenaline rush hasn't worn off. I could use a little liquid relaxer, too."

Sam agreed, doing a much better job of getting her feet under her this time and following Diana to the lounge. A few minutes later, she was sitting, looking out on the void of space with a drink in her hand.

"You know, this is perfect. You were right. Thank you."

Diana smiled, sipping her own drink. "You're welcome. Though, it's not like I paid for the drinks."

"Fair," Sam said with a chuckle. "But you did fix it for me. I appreciate it."

After a few moments of silent stargazing, Diana opened with an observation. "So, it's been quite a day. Between busting that guy you worked with yesterday, and the drama with Cerberus today, I'd say the Normandy's lead communications specialist has seen at least a week's worth of action."

Samantha snorted lightly. "I've already seen more action than I ever guessed my military career would show me. I expected to work in a lab until I retired from the Alliance." She sighed, sobering. "Hardly something to complain about, that the Reapers messed up those plans, but… well. There it is."

"What would you have done when you retired?"

"Oh, I don't know," Sam said, eyes wandering to Diana's before drifting back to the stars. She thought of Ashley, of what their lives might have been like thirty years from now if the Reapers had never attacked. She kept the relationship to herself for the time being, however. She didn't need it known by this woman, reporter that she was, that Sam was engaged to a superior officer, and the second-ever human Spectre. She was not stupid. This woman was friendly, but they were not yet friends, and that was a juicy enough story that she ought to be careful with it. "It's a little late to think of all that now, anyway, isn't it?"

"C'mon. Just humor me." Diana's eyes sparkled with her half-smile. "It's okay to pretend the shitty stuff didn't happen sometimes."

Sam sighed again, deciding to tell her a partial truth. It was what Sam thought she might do _before_ she met Ashley. "Well, I always thought it might be nice to settle down again on the colony where I grew up. Maybe bring whatever woman I might marry, help my parents and my brother with biological engineering for the crops. It…" _Super nerd, Sam._

"What?"

Sam felt her cheeks heat slightly. "I was about to say that it would be a fun challenge, to do something so different from what I'm doing now. And then my own brain called me a nerd, so I stopped myself. God," she groaned, burying her face in her hand. "Just hearing that out loud made me think I'm mad. I can't imagine how it sounded to _you_. I apologize. I swear I make more sense when I'm awake and _alert_."

Diana giggled. "Don't worry. I get it. You might not know it from my chosen profession, but I've dabbled in farming tech, myself."

"You have?" Sam was truly surprised.

"Yes, I have," Diana nodded, taking another sip of her drink. "I'm a colony girl, too. Where'd you grow up?"

Sam hesitated. It couldn't hurt anything to tell Diana, could it? "Horizon," she said, glancing momentarily at Diana to see how she reacted.

The woman's eyes widened briefly, but that was it. "Ouch."

"Yes, that's a rather succinct way of describing it," Sam said, nodding. "I was actually home visiting when the Collectors hit. We were lucky. My family bunkered down in our house with all the locks engaged, and we managed to miss the worst of the attack." Again, she left out Ashley. She knew she ought to tell Diana she was spoken for, especially if Diana _did_ have her eye on Sam. But every time she thought of mentioning it, Sam couldn't help but picture the headlines Diana might write. Not about Sam, but about Ashley and inappropriate conduct.

She couldn't subject Ashley to that. She'd seen some of Diana's pieces since the two officially met the day before. She was fair, but didn't hesitate to criticize, even officers of the Alliance. Likely the only thing saving her when she did scathing opinion pieces was her ratings.

"Lucky Shepard got there when she did," Diana mused, nodding.

Sam gave her a look.

"Oh, don't worry. I don't know anything above my security clearance. That was on the news vids. Plus, I _am_ officially a contractor with the Alliance – I have my own special security clearance and everything."

Sam nodded. It made sense. They needed to vet the people who disseminated the news to the public. Only way to keep a handle on things. That way, if they got out of line, they could be court-martialed.

"So, I'm curious, then. What's your access to the krogan female like? And Javik?"

Diana sighed, leaning heavily back in her seat. "Can't touch 'em. Don't want the Reapers to know any of it, and we _know_ they intercept our news – it's broadcast wideband, for every race and every planet." She paused before clarifying. "I mean, I can _know_ about them, of course – you'd have to if you're on this ship. But I can't write a single fucking thing about them. The biggest stories in our time after the Reaper attack itself, and I can't say a peep! But… at least I get to know about it. It's all happening on this ship. I know that sounds messed up. People are dying out there. But… if there's a good chance I'll die, too, then at least I get to know all that's happening to try to stop the Reapers, you know?"

Sam nodded. She got it. At least they weren't lying in the dark, alone and afraid, with no one to tell them what efforts were being made to try to save them. Her heart panged. That was likely what her parents and Richard were going through. She downed the rest of her drink, ripping her thoughts away from her family. It would do no one any good to sit here and worry about them. She would certainly never sleep if she let that anxiety overtake her.

They sat quietly for a time after that. When Sam started to feel a pleasant buzz, her eyelids beginning to close against her will, Diana shook her awake. "C'mon, Samantha," she said, gloriously not using her nickname and immediately ingratiating herself with the comms specialist. "Let's get you to bed. I know you need to be up and at your post again in another few hours."

Sam nodded, letting the other woman help her to her feet. Her hands were warm, like Ashley's. But Sam resisted the urge to melt into those arms. They were all wrong. There were no defined muscles, no calluses on the palms, and a ridiculous manicure on the nails that would have no place on a marine. Instead, Diana's hand on her bare bicep to help steady her, Sam weaved her way in her pajamas and bare feet to the crew quarters, bidding the woman good night at the door and heading gratefully for her bed.


	26. A Few Old Faces

**Ashley**

Ashley was having a hard time not fidgeting. The ship containing her family would be docking any minute, and she was both excited and nervous to see them.

_Why am I nervous? This is stupid. Maybe it's because none of us have lived under the same roof in years, and now I wanna shove all four of them into a studio apartment with me and Tim._

Ashley sighed. That was precisely the reason. Chewing her lip, she resolved to get better and back on the Normandy as soon as humanly possible. Both because she wanted to be where Samantha was, and because there would be exactly zero privacy starting in about five minutes.

_I'm gonna have to masturbate in the shower._

Shaking her head of these thoughts, Ashley let her eyes run over the list of ships getting ready to dock. As her eyes found the proper ship, the status changed from "In Queue" to "Docked". Her heartbeat jumping into overdrive, Ashley left the screen, rushing and elbowing her way to the roped-off area. She didn't feel bad about pushing people out of her way, as they were just milling around, not needing to be in _that_ spot anymore than they needed to be in any other spot. They were refugees and Ashley felt for them, but if you didn't move when asked, then Ashley Williams was not above shouldering you out of her way.

It took a while, but finally people began streaming out. Most carried no luggage – they were here to gawk, and would then return to their transport after the captain supplied it. But Ashley knew her family was here to stay, so they'd likely be off last, whatever luggage they managed to scrounge up in hand.

A few minutes later, a familiar face rounded the corner.

"Sarah!"

Her baby sister looked rather more put together than she had when they'd spoken a week earlier. Her face brightened when she saw Ashley, and she broke into a run. Ashley was forced to wait, could not cross the electric "ribbon" in front of her, but thankfully it was moments only. Then Sarah was flinging herself into her arms, and Ashley had her baby sister in a bear hug, literally lifting the shorter girl up off the ground.

"Ashley!"

Looking over Sarah's shoulder, Ashley grinned. The Girly Horde was there, running, and then Ashley was almost knocked on her ass by two other bodies hitting her: Lynn and Abby.

"All right, all right, you've had enough of her." The voice was a little gruffer than Ashley remembered, but it was unmistakably the voice of Beth Williams, Ashley's mother. The sisters parted, releasing Ashley, as their mother continued. "Let me in on some of this."

"Hey, Mom."

Beth Williams stood proud, not quite as tall as Ashley, but nearly so. If there were ever a contest for complete platinum-haired beauties, she could give Doctor Chakwas a run for her money. Her dark skin was still smooth, though the crow's feet around her eyes and the laugh lines around her mouth attested to the fact that Ashley and her sisters had at least been a source of joy, in addition to being four royal pains in her ass. The technology existed to get rid of the small imperfections, but Ashley's mother never considered the idea for herself, something Ashley was grateful for. Her mother's face was cherished by the marine, and perfect just how it was, thank you very much.

Her mother's arms came up in a wordless request. Ashley grinned and pushed forward, letting herself be engulfed in the warm, familiar touch and scent of her dear mother.

"I am so glad all my girls are safe," Beth murmured.

"Me, too, Mom. Me, too." More arms wrapped around them, and then the Williams girls stood together in a giant pile of love that blocked the way of anyone hoping to get by them for several minutes.

* * *

"You wanna cram all of us in _here_?" Lynn was incredulous.

"Hush, Lynn. We're lucky to get any room on the Citadel at all," Beth chided, shaking her head. All four of them stood in the middle of Ashley's living room, making the apartment, which had felt large at first, feel _very_ small. "We had less room on the ship."

"The ship had _bunks_ for us, at least," Lynn snorted.

Ashley smirked, leaping for her sister and putting her immediately into a headlock and a noogie. "Awww, Lynn, you're making me feel like you don't wanna spend any time with me!"

"Ah! Get her off! Not fair! You're a fucking _marine_!"

"Who was recently taken off-duty! You telling me you can't shake off someone who recently broke their neck?"

The room immediately became silent. Lynn even stopped struggling. Ashley released her, shoulders slumping. She'd fucked it up. It had been happy and light. Then she'd opened her fat mouth and screwed the pooch. _Fucking. Hell._

"Okay, that's enough. Let's get to work," Beth said, sympathetic eyes on Ashley. "Make your calls, girls. Let's get some bunks installed on that wall, the kind that will fold up when we're not using them, and let's get some food in the kitchen. And make sure you include Timothy with those beds. He'll be living here, too. No more couch for him."

As the girls dispersed, Ashley sighed, turning and wandering toward the giant windows. Her mother sidled up alongside her. "Sorry, Mom. I didn't mean…"

"I learned long ago that soldiers take the dangers they throw themselves at lightly, Ashley. There's no other choice when it's the reality in which you live. Your father often joked and made light of his close calls."

Ashley looked over, but her mother's gaze was locked in the middle distance. "He did?"

She nodded. "Yes. With his friends. Never in front of you. He knew not to scare you girls. He always forgot with me, and while it was always frightening… I didn't stop him. He needed to be able to treat me like an adult. _I_ needed him to treat me like an adult." A sigh. "I suppose I just need to get used to being a military wife again."

"But you don't need me to treat you like a wife, Mom," Ashley argued, knitting her brows. "I'm your kid, not your husband. I could stand to be a little more careful than that." Behind them, her sisters were a flurry of quiet activity, connecting their omnitools to the network and making orders. They had the money to take care of what they needed, now that they had a place to stay.

"You are my baby, but you're also an adult, and so am I, Ashley." Beth turned. There were no tears in her eyes, but they did show a certain strain that was familiar to Ashley. It was the same look that had always been there when her father had been deployed. "I'm not deluded. This is a war the likes of which we've never seen. It's a _miracle_ that we're all here, alive and together. I will enjoy it while it lasts, and I will cheer you on when you're back to fighting shape again. I can't keep you from this life, this war. And I would never try."

Ashley surged into her mother's arms once more, hugging the woman to her fiercely, overcome with emotion. The only way this could be more perfect was if Samantha were here to share her joy.

"Now," Beth said, pushing Ashley away only far enough to be able to meet her eyes. "Show me this ring Samantha gave you."

Ashley grinned, holding her left hand up to show off the proof of her engagement.

"Not fair!"

"Let us see!"

"Yeah, private moment over!"

Ashley laughed as her hand was literally passed from person to person.

"It suits you," Sarah said, the last to admire it. Her smile was a little tense, but her eyes held only genuine happiness for her sister. Ashley gave her a knowing look, but Sarah just shook her head. "Not right now. Later. Let's keep it happy right now."

Ashley nodded. "Yeah. Okay. Happy. How about pizza? And a vid?"

"Oh, and wine!" Abby exclaimed.

"Jesus, Roo-Roo!" Sarah said, laughing. "We just got off the ship, and you wanna get toasted?"

"What? Wine is good. Wine is life. Besides, getting toasted means weed. And if you have any of that, then you better stop holding out."

Ashley grinned, shaking her head. Tim had one hell of a welcome waiting for him when he was done for the day at C-Sec. And Ashley wouldn't be around for it. She was due to be at Huerta Memorial for physical therapy when he would be getting home.

_Home…_

Ashley looked around as her sisters burst into action once more, this time for pizza and a movie.

_Funny how, when it comes right down to it, it's the people, not the place, that make it home._

* * *

"Ashley."

The LC grinned, wiping her forehead down with a towel. "Thane! How are you doing?" She reached a hand out as she approached, and he took it, shaking it firmly just once before releasing it.

"I am doing well," the drell said. He gently maneuvered them to be out of the way of traffic so they could talk. "You seem to be doing _very_ well."

She grinned. "My family arrived a few hours ago."

"All of them?" he asked, blinking his strange blink.

"Yep! All four of them: Mom, Abbey, Lynn, and Sarah."

"It is kind of you to share your small space with so many people. Timothy is also staying with you, is he not?"

"Yeah, he is," Ashley said with a nod. "The girls will find a way to make it homey, though. When I left, they were talking to a salesperson about some beds that'll fold down from the wall, so we can fold them back up when we're not sleeping."

"That would take care of the space concern," Thane agreed. "But what about privacy?"

Ashley just shrugged. "We'll manage. I can leave the house, take advantage of parks to exercise and cafes to read or browse the news. Honestly… I miss having so many people around."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I mean, I went from my mom's house with three little sisters right into the military, where the only place you're ever on your own is the john. And even then, not every time. Being in the hospital has been…"

"Lonely?" Thane supplied. Ashley nodded her confirmation. "I suppose I can see that. Mine is not a particularly social people, and I even less so. But I can see that if you are accustomed to having people around you, it would be comforting to have that returned to you. Especially familiar people."

"Comforting, and a pain in the ass," Ashley said with a snort. "But I love them. And it'll be good for my sister," she finished, sobering as she thought of that look in Sarah's eyes, always present in the shadows, even when she smiled.

"That is right. Her husband was killed in battle, was he not?"

"Yeah. We're gonna do something for him. I don't know what, yet, but some kind of memorial or something."

"Excuse me." A short, redheaded woman got their attention. "I couldn't help but overhear that you- Thane!"

The next moment, the small woman was in Thane's arm, hugging him fiercely. Ashley just stood and watched with her head tilted in curiosity, a smirk on her face. The girl was cute, her hair around her chin and her pants hugging a tight little butt. She raised an eyebrow at Thane, hoping he would understand what she was suggesting. _You dog_ , she hoped the look said.

He smiled, but shook his head. So he understood, but made it clear that's not what this was. _Ah well. The man can use a little teasing_ , Ashley thought to herself, grinning now.

Before the embrace had gone on an indecent amount of time, the girl pulled back. "Sorry! I know we weren't really 'hug' friends, I just… it's very good to see a familiar face."

"It is all right, Kelly. I understand."

Ashley furrowed her brows. The name and the face together were ringing a bell.

"How are you doing? It has been many months since we left the Normandy."

Ashley's heart sank into her stomach as the woman glanced behind her at the LC. This was the girl! This was the girl Miriam was in love with! _Shit. Shepard's been wanting to know how to get a hold of this girl. What do I do? Do I say something?_

Meanwhile, Kelly and Thane had finished their small talk and Thane was now getting Ashley's attention. "Ashley, this is Kelly Chambers. We served on the Normandy together. Kelly, this is Ashley Williams. She served on the Normandy SR-1."

The woman's green eyes were kind as she smiled and held out her hand. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Ashley."

"Pleasure," Ashley mimicked, still too shocked to do much more than stare as she shook the woman's hand.

Kelly noticed – Ashley could tell by the way the woman eyed her – but said nothing of her behavior, instead turning back to Thane. "I had no idea you were receiving care for your Keprel's Syndrome here, or I would have stopped by to visit you."

Thane graced her with a smile. "Everyone scattered like leaves in the wind. I, too, had no idea you were on the Citadel. What is filling your time?"

"I'm putting my psychology degree to good use," Kelly answered. "The hospital can't afford anymore therapists on staff, but they've got a stipend for independent contractors with the proper degrees and experience, so that's what I'm doing. It's nice, because it allows me more flexibility. I can go help people on the Wards, like the refugees on the docks. A lot of them need bereavement counseling, and there's just no way for the staff psychologists here to go to them and provide that. I'm… really happy to be doing something so meaningful, as trite as I know that sounds."

"It may sound trite, but I understand the sentiment," Thane said. "It is why I accepted Shepard's request that I join her team."

Ashley was starting to feel like a third wheel. "Hey, it sounds like you guys wanna catch up, why don't I-"

"Oh, no! Please! I'm so sorry, that was very rude of me. I interrupted, and at an… unfortunate moment." Kelly took a deep breath and plunged on. "I wanted to let you know that the refugees on the docks have made a memorial space intended for anyone who's lost someone."

Ashley didn't know what to say, but she was grateful for the information. "I… thank you. My sister might just like that. She's a sociologist. She's all about community spaces like that."

Kelly smiled. "I hope it can be a comfort to you. I'm sorry for butting in. I just want to make sure everyone knows, but that doesn't excuse my eavesdropping."

"It's pretty hard not to in this place. Privacy isn't really something anyone in this hospital can claim to have at the moment." Ashley took the woman in for a second. Should she say something?

"Well, if we're all through, I'll take my leave. I should go down to the docks."

Ashley spoke before she could think better of it. "I'll walk with you," she offered. "I'm heading out, myself."

Kelly smiled again. "Company would be nice," she agreed. Ashley could see what made her such a good therapist. Hard to believe she'd worked for Cerberus. The thought made her need to fight a scowl.

After saying their goodbyes to Thane, they left the hospital amidst a crowd. But, a moment later, they turned away from the bustle, leaving them in a semi-awkward silence. Ashley wasn't sure what to say, but Kelly saved her from a stilted conversation starter.

"So, you served with Shepard," the redhead ventured.

"Yeah. So did you," Ashley said.

"Have… have you seen her recently? I take it you're not serving with her now, if you're here…"

Ashley once again fought a frown. "I was, but… I was injured as we left Sol. Got brought here for care."

Kelly turned her head to Ashley, her green eyes flashing up and down. "You seem to be doing well. I wouldn't have guessed that you're injured."

"I'm almost up to fighting speed again, actually. Another week or two of therapy and I think I can resume active duty again."

Kelly's voice was tight as she said, "Will you rejoin Shepard's crew?"

Ashley furrowed her brows before she stopped walking. Grabbing Kelly's wrist, she ducked into a public terminal alcove, covering Kelly from view of the street, pressing herself close so it might look like they shared a private moment. You never knew who might be looking and listening, and she didn't want to look like she was threatening Kelly. Even if that was _precisely_ what she was doing.

"Ow! Hey! What gives-"

Ashley pressed a hand over her mouth briefly, just long enough to silence the woman, before dropping her hand to her shoulder. "Listen carefully." Her voice was a harsh whisper. "I know everything, okay? I know you and Miriam are a thing, I know it's complicated, and I know you used to work for Cerberus. _Fucking_ Cerberus."

She watched Kelly's brows furrow briefly before sorrow swirled into the green pools. Her shoulders drooped.

Ashley wouldn't be swayed so easily. "I've got some concerns," she said, her voice hard. "Why did you seduce Miriam? Why get in the way of her and Liara?"

"Liara rejected her at their reunion," Kelly whispered. Ashley would have expected her to be on the defensive, but she was merely… resigned.

"What the hell does that mean?"

Kelly shrugged. "They weren't together."

Ashley took hold of her chin, turning her face up so they locked gazes. "Tell me."

Kelly's eyes flashed in fear, and she swallowed. "I… we were on Omega, and Mir- Shepard was drinking herself into a stupor after Dr. T'Soni turned her away on Illium. She was going to wander off with a… dancer."

"A hooker?" Ashley asked.

Kelly nodded. "Essentially, yeah; in _that_ club, that's precisely what they are. I intercepted her and… took the asari dancer's place. She… she didn't need to be with an asari right then. She didn't need to meld, share her mind, with anyone but Dr. T'Soni."

Ashley frowned. "You're not telling the whole story. The Illusive Man ordered you, didn't he?"

Kelly's eyes widened in fear. "I… yes."

"Dammit!" Ashley nearly yelled, but managed to bite it off, hitting the wall behind Kelly's head. Her harsh whisper returned as she continued. " _Fucking_ hell! So you got Cerberus in her head. And in her pants." She narrowed her eyes. "Miriam _loves_ you, and you're Cerberus' little _whore_."

"No!" Tears began to gather in Kelly's eyes as she shook her head. "No, please! It's not like that! I _love_ Miriam!"

Ashley pulled her lip back in a snarl at the use of Shepard's name. Kelly flinched in fear, but kept going. "The Illusive Man wanted me to make sure that the commander didn't do anything self-destructive! He made it clear that I was to do anything required. _Anything_! If she failed because her head wasn't in the game, then my punishment would be severe. I… I never expected that Miriam would be so easy to fall in love with. She's so wonderful and _good_. And she's been through so much. I think I was in love with her before that night, but the way she treated me, even when drunk out of her mind… and then the next morning…"

"What about the next morning?"

"She thanked me," Kelly whispered. "She thanked me for saving her from the mistake she almost made, and she thanked me for taking care of her. She apologized for taking advantage of me." She blinked, and a tear fell down her cheek. "How can you not fall for someone like that? I felt so… _tainted_ for following the Illusive Man's orders. I told her immediately."

"Wait." Ashley frowned. "She _knew_?"

Kelly nodded, swallowing again. "Yes," she murmured. "I told her in the shower, so the microphones wouldn't pick it up. She just… nodded. Said that made sense that the Illusive Man would want to keep her focused on someone on the Normandy. I thought that was it, but later she invited me to her cabin for dinner. I couldn't say no. I'd been honest, and she and Dr. T'Soni weren't together. I told myself I wasn't playing with anyone else's toys, and while the Illusive Man thought I was playing his game, in reality we were playing our own game, by our own rules. She kept courting me, and I… courted her right back. I learned about her. I told her about me. I was praised by the Illusive Man. It… God, it's all so fucked up."

Kelly heaved a sigh, meeting Ashley's eyes more defiantly than before. "But the feelings were real. I love that woman, Ashley Williams. I love her with all my heart."

Ashley scowled. She didn't know what to say. She didn't know what to feel. She had so many things to think about. She had so many doubts. She doubted herself. She doubted Udina. She doubted Miriam, and the safety of her fiancée on the Normandy. She doubted Cerberus. For fuck's sake, she doubted the Alliance occasionally and _definitely_ doubted the Council _all the time_. How was she supposed to navigate this? Why couldn't she just find the boogieman and shoot him in the face a couple thousand times?

She released Kelly, leaving the alcove and continuing their walk. To her surprise, Kelly rejoined her. It took her a few minutes to speak again.

"Sorry I pushed you," she mumbled, shoving her hands in her pockets.

"You're a marine. You protect the people you love. I understand."

Ashley frowned over at Kelly, but left the statement as it was. Maybe this girl _did_ understand. "So where is everything now? Miriam's been looking for you, Kelly. She's worried sick, and not willing to ask Liara to look for you for _her_. They're together now, but they both know Shepard loves you both."

"You can't tell her," Kelly said, shaking her head adamantly. "Don't tell her you saw me. I have to stay in hiding, and she'll just want to protect me, bring me on the ship. She… she has Dr. T'Soni. She has her great love. My feelings don't matter. Just let me fade away." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "Let me disappear."

Ashley took a deep breath.

_Fuck. What the hell do I do?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gave Ashley's mom a name because I couldn't find one for her on the wiki.
> 
> The beginning of this was like pulling teeth because I realized I had to write Ashley and her mom and that's still a bit painful for me. ~sigh~ So I avoided it. Ended up not being painful to actually write. Just the anticipation was. Go figure.
> 
> And Kelly! What a thing to happen! What's Ashley gonna dooooooooo?


	27. Life Goes Ever On and On

**Samantha**

"So… how's Tim doing with so many people around?"

The image of Ashley smirked. { _Well, nobody has any privacy, and I don't think he's ever been around so many women in his life. But, all things considered, I think he's doing okay. Work keeps him busy, and tires him out, so he's pretty mellow when he comes home. Just wants food and a vid._ }

"I imagine that's easy enough to accommodate," Sam ventured. "How… how's Sarah doing?"

{ _Good, mostly. I mean, her husband died. I took her to this memorial spot the refugees on the docks have set up. I think that helped. But it also made it clear just how many people have died. A lot of our old friends haven't been heard from. And I've been trying, but even with Spectre access, I haven't found anything on your parents. I'm sorry, baby._ }

Samantha sighed, rolling over onto her side. "I know, Ashley. It's okay. I think I just need to accept that it's going to take a miracle to actually hear from them on their tiny little colony, and be grateful we got Tim to safety." Sam hesitated over the next part. She'd been trying so hard to ignore it, to keep busy and active and away from her worrying brain for the last week and a half, since Ashley first got in contact with Sarah. Because if she gave it thought, she would break down, and there was no one on this ship she was close enough with for that. But now… if she couldn't break down in front of her fiancée, then she was doomed.

"Ashley, I don't think we're going to find them," Sam opened, sniffling a little. She could feel the tears coming. She let them. "I think they're dead, or they will be by the end of all this. But, we all might be dead by the end of this. Or so many people dead that nobody alive has any family left." Tears were now streaming down her cheeks, but her voice was magically still audible, steady. _I should have planned this better. I have no tissues_. "I don't think I'm going to see them again, Ashley. I think everyone in that apartment of yours is—" She paused, letting out a quiet sob, the steadiness of her voice finally gone. "I think that's all the family I have left. _We_ have left."

{ _Oh, baby…_ } Ashley frowned in sympathy. { _I can't… I wish I could hold you._ }

Samantha let out a little laugh through her tears. "Me, too."

Ashley let her cry for a minute to two, just watching and nodding and holding her hand out to touch the screen that held the image of Samantha's face. The comms specialist could almost feel the ghost of those fingers wiping her tears away.

Finally, Ashley spoke, and her words demanded Samantha listen closely. { _I joined the military because it's in my blood. But once I actually saw combat… It's fucking scary, Sam. It's not like in the vids or the games. You can't see the whole field. You can't pause it to see what your next tactical move should be. You can't fucking_ _ **start over**_ _if you die. War isn't glorious. Victory, the successful defense of your people... there_ _ **is**_ _glory in that. But war itself is blood and pus and piss and shit and mud in your boots and your bra with no hope of a shower or a hot meal until you're extracted from the field._ }

Ashley paused, holding Sam's eyes for a moment, seeing that her tears had abated for the moment. { _I stayed after the hell of Eden Prime, after the cries of the dying and the bodies up on the dragon's teeth and the absolute fucking_ _ **fear**_ _the likes of which I'd never known before—or since—because while war is not glorious, it is a necessary evil. Someone will make war upon us, and we need those willing to risk dying in order to defend against them. After that hell, I stayed because I was willing to risk dying in order to keep the people I love innocent, to keep them away from that hell and those nightmares and that whole and utter terror. And it kills me that now you're out in that hell and I'm here, in my nice apartment on a sterile space station, sitting on my ass and enjoying my family—and_ _ **your**_ _family— while you're alone on the Normandy. I'm so sorry, Sammy._ }

Despite all the things Ashley had said, about the carnage and the fear and the hell she'd been through, it made Samantha smile. She wiped her eyes, sniffed long and loud—she still had no tissues—and nodded. "Right. Well. I guess I'm just going to have to be the brave hero who fights to keep my family safe. Keep _you_ safe."

Ashley grinned. { _That's the spirit._ }

"Thank you, Ashley. You always know just what to say.

{ _It's a gift._ }

"My poet," Sam said with a smile. She took a deep breath, exhaled, and forced herself to ask, "So what kind of shenanigans are you all up to?"

{ _Well… Oh, man, you need to hear about what Sarah and Tim got up to the other day…_ }

* * *

Samantha sat in the mess with Diana, who was swiftly becoming a friend. They hadn't gotten drunk again, and Sam was thankful for that. She liked to stay in charge of all her faculties, especially around a woman who might ( _Right! Sure. Like I believe it._ )— _probably not, but might—_ be interested in her. She had to keep her relationship to herself, meaning she could not claim to be spoken for. She didn't want to scare this woman off—she could really use the friendship of someone who was not a damn marine like James and Shepard—but at the same time, she had to remember that Diana was here in her capacity as a journalist.

It was best left to Sober Sam to navigate.

"Any idea when we'll be on the Citadel again?" Diana asked her hopefully.

Sam shook her head, moving her chess piece. "No idea."

"Aww, c'mon, aren't you and Shepard bosom buddies?"

"Contrary to that arse Rajad's assessment of the situation, no, we are _not_ 'bosom buddies.' We're _friends_ , and I'm her subordinate before I'm her friend. She doesn't share classified information with me." Unless Sam was watching and communicating during a ground mission, but Diana didn't need to know that.

"And it's classified information, when we'll be docking next at the Citadel?"

"Really?" Samantha asked in a sarcastic drawl, fixing Diana with a sardonic look. "You really think it's wise to broadcast when the Normandy SR-2, the only stealth vessel of its kind, stolen from Cerberus and given to the Alliance Navy, will be docking at the center of all intergalactic government? During a war with the _Rreapers_?"

Diana sat with her mouth open for half a second before snapping her jaw shut and rolling her eyes. "Point taken." She reached to move a holographic chess piece. She was atrocious at this game, but the mere fact that she would play with Sam had raised the woman in her estimation by at least twenty points.

"Why so eager to get back to the station?" Sam asked.

Diana's hazel eyes narrowed. "I thought I was supposed to be the nosy one?"

"We're friends!" Sam laughed, making her own chess move. "I get to be nosy with my friends, don't I?"

"I know how scuttlebutt on a ship works, Sam," she retorted.

"So it's something worth gossiping about, then?"

Diana frowned. "I'm not that easy, you know. I'm a journalist. I know the tricks. And you are _way_ not sneaky enough to ferret it out of me."

Samantha pursed her lips. "Right, well… Checkmate."

"Dammit."

"What are you nerds doing? Seriously, Sam, you've got the hottest girl on the ship, and you're playing _chess_?" Joker pushed himself roughly onto the bench next to Samantha. "I guess you can't do more, given—" Sam slammed her foot down on Joker's, only his steel-toed boot saving him from multiple fractures. He got the point, however, and changed what he'd been saying. "—you, uh, shouldn't be hooking up with anyone on the ship," he finished, somewhat lamely.

Diana looked perplexed, but didn't seem to pick up that Joker had been about to say something else. Or she really was as good as she said she was and hid it _very_ well. "Really, Joker? What if I _was_ putting the moves on her? You're just gonna ruin everything saying shit like that."

Samantha snorted a laugh.

"Well, _were_ you putting the moves on Sam? It's the only reason _I_ would be playing chess. Sober, anyway."

Diana immediately got a coy look. "Wouldn't you like to know? I bet that fantasy would give you a nosebleed."

Samantha blushed, Joker's jaw dropped to the table, and Diana just smirked. "Right. Good to know I'm right." She looked to Sam. "I have to go get some work done. Maybe a piece on the insatiable lusts of Alliance pilots?" She got up and headed for the lift, her hips swaying perhaps a bit more than was necessary.

"So… what the hell was that about, with the trying to break my damn foot, Sam?"

Samantha sighed. "Sorry. I forgot about…

"That my bones are basically made of glass?"

"Yes. Sorry, Joker. But, I'm not telling Diana about Ashley."

He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. "Yeah, I got that much. Why not? 'Cuz if James is right, she wants you, but if I know Williams, she's not gonna share."

"That is an accurate summation of both what James thinks and how Ashley feels. And how I feel. I don't want Diana, even if she _is_ interested, which I doubt. She's… not my type. She makes a good friend, though."

"So why keep her in the dark about Ash?"

Samantha sighed again, packing up her chess set. There was no way in hell Joker would play a round with her, even drunk, which he was not. "Ashley's going to be the second human Spectre, Joker. And on top of that, she's been with Shepard from the beginning, was the sole survivor of her unit on Eden Prime, and was injured on Mars, which is still as classified as it can get."

Joker nodded. "Yeah, I got all those emails telling us to shut the hell up about Mars, too."

Samantha leaned on one hand on the tabletop, looking to Joker sitting next to her. "Right. So, I guess I'm trying to protect her. She's still recovering from a broken neck. She'll be on the ship eventually, I'm sure of it. I'll let her manage herself with Diana then."

"Have you told Ash about Diana?"

Samantha's only answer was to look away, her face hot. She had _not_ mentioned Diana to Ashley. And she wasn't sure why. Perhaps it was because she wasn't sure if Ashley would actually get jealous. Perhaps it was because the friendship was so new. Perhaps it was because the easiest way to protect Ashley was to simply not tell her that she was protecting her from a reporter.

Or maybe Samantha was enjoying the attention. That possibility made her a little sick to think about.

Joker whistled low. "You shouldn't do that, Sam."

"Ugh, I know. I'll tell her. Soon. I just… I don't know." She looked back to Joker. "Why'd you join us, anyway?"

"Oh! Right! Cards with James and Steve. C'mon! We're late. They've got beer and the cards have naked people on them. Something for everyone."

Samantha rolled her eyes, but agreed. If none of them could get laid, at least they could do stupid, immature things like play poker with naughty cards, right? Stowing her chess set in her locker, she joined Joker on the lift heading for the shuttle bay.

* * *

"Hey, Traynor."

Sam turned to see Alexandra Halanz had come to relieve her a few minutes early. She held a steaming mug of coffee.

Sam smirked. "I thought you didn't drink coffee every day, Halanz?" she said by way of greeting.

The other woman just shrugged. "12 hour shifts will do that to anyone."

"Christ, I know. We seriously need to get that replacement soon." She looked over to the platform where EDI's holographic "voice" often popped up. "Not that I don't appreciate the help EDI throws in from time to time, but it's not like having the third person we need."

"I'm sure EDI appreciates you saying so." Halanz chuckled before taking a sip of her coffee.

"Have you seen Rajad at all?"

"Hmm? Yeah," Halanz answered, taking Sam's place at the console.

"How's he doing in the brig?"

Halanz gave her a genuinely perplexed look. "I thought you wouldn't care, Traynor?"

"Why wouldn't I care? I don't like him, but that doesn't mean I'm entirely heartless. It must be awful to be alone like that all the time, barely able to hear James and Steve through the walls when they have a particularly hilarious moment."

Halanz turned back to her station. "Yeah. It's…" She shrugged. "He's not happy. He's not happy about the courts-martial he's staring down, either. But that's what happens when you call your NCO a fucking bitch and then try to hit her in the face."

"I bet he still thinks that, too."

Halanz smiled apologetically. "Yeah, sorry. I… _may_ have let him complain a little bit. Everyone's got to."

"I understand," Sam said, leaning against the rail leading up to the galaxy map. She considered Halanz as the woman brought up the programs she would be using. "It sounds like the two of you were close."

Halanz froze momentarily. "Yeah, we were," she evaded. Sam watched as she practically forced her body to relax. "Anything I need to know for my shift?"

"Hold on," Sam said, narrowing her eyes. "You got all… _shifty_. What's going on? And don't make me pull rank."

Halanz hesitated for a few seconds before seeming to wilt. "We… were sleeping together."

"Oh ho ho!" Sam rushed forward, leaning in. "Seriously? Wait. Is that how he convinced you to trade shifts with him without notifying me?"

Halanz groaned. "Yes. I knew it was against protocol, but he's technically my superior, and we were… it was _after_ , and I just said yes."

Samantha smirked. "'After', huh? Where did you do it?"

"Um… that cot under the engine core…"

"What?! Dammit, now I have to scrub myself in the hottest shower I can manage…"

Halanz snorted. "What do _you_ do down there?"

"Make phone calls to my fiancée…"

"Dirty calls?"

"Excuse me," Samantha said, her tone all mock-seriousness. "I'll have you know that I am your superior. Technically. And technicalities are the best way of being right."

They both devolved into a fit of giggles.

Sam sobered relatively quickly. "In all seriousness, Halanz, be careful about that sort of thing. I don't like Rajad and while I'm not going to tell you to stop seeing him, he's getting booted off the ship…"

"Oh, we aren't seeing each other. It wasn't… serious. Just blowing off some steam right after the Rreapers and all that, you know?"

Samantha nodded. "Yes. I suppose I can understand that. Any chance for a human connection. But still. Rajad?"

"I know." Halanz heaved a sigh before continuing. "He was charming just long enough to get into my pants. Then, if we weren't... together, he was annoying the hell out of me. I was too shy and nervous to say anything, though, and he was the only one I'd made any kind of connection with at first. But I've made a couple of friends now. I was thinking of ending it the day he was thrown in the brig, but I guess you guys decided that for me."

"I'm glad you're making friends. I have, too. It makes a world of difference, doesn't it?"

"Yeah. It really does. Who have you been hanging out with while I've been working?"

Sam sighed. "The ever-obnoxious James and Joker. Steve is less annoying, but also more subdued—he's hard to pull into a conversation. All about work, even when he's not on duty. Oh, and Diana Allers, the ANN journalist who's on the ship."

"Damn, Traynor. Those are some lofty friends. They go out on the field and shit. I've just been hanging out with Westmoreland and Copeland. They're good for me, though. You hang out with _Shepard_. That's way too nerve wracking for me."

"I make you nervous, Halanz?"

Both communications specialists immediately jumped to attention, turning to find Shepard had snuck up behind them. And now stood smirking at them both. Halanz had even sprung into a salute. Sam was slower to salute, hers not coming from a place of utter terror like Halanz.

"At ease, both of you." Shepard crossed her arms. "You know, James was saying something along those lines when I found him at Purgatory the last time we were on the Citadel. Am I really that intimidating?"

Halanz looked to Samantha uncertainly. Sam just sighed. "To people who don't know you? Yes, Commander. You're a bloody legend."

"So what about people who know me?"

Samantha smirked. "You're as much of a buffoon as Ashley Williams." She paused, then added, "Commander."

"Right. Well. I guess I just need to keep buying people drinks, then." Her eyes shifted back to Halanz. "Next time I see you, drinks are on me, Halanz. Can't have my crew too afraid to talk to me." She winked.

"Yes, Commander," Halanz squeaked.

Shepard walked away shaking her head.

"You really need to lighten up, Halanz," Sam said, picking up the woman's coffee and handing it over. "Shepard's a nice person. She's a flirt and I hear she can't dance to save her life, and we're all slogging through this the best we can. Take her up on the drink. I promise it helps."

Halanz merely nodded, turning back to her work station. Sam shook her head, turned, and got on the lift. A tepid shower – the best she could hope for – was calling her name.


	28. Second Human Spectre

**Ashley**

"You are fully recovered, Ashley Williams. I am discharging you from our care after today's physical therapy session, and I will inform the Alliance and the Council that you are free to resume active duty status."

Ashley stared at Dr. Michele. "Seriously?"

The prim doctor with the razor-sharp wit smiled warmly. "Yes, seriously." She gestured to the door of her office. "You may go." Ashley got up to leave. "And Commander Williams?"

Ashley paused at the door. "Yeah?"

"Congratulations on becoming the next human to join the ranks of the Council Spectres. _And_ on your pending marriage."

Ashley felt her face heat even as she grinned. "Thanks, Doc."

"Good bye, Commander Williams. You weren't a pleasure as a patient, but… I can see why the Alliance wants you back so badly. Good luck."

Ashley left with a bounce in her step. She couldn't wait. It had been a difficult two weeks, full of no private time, no space, her wonderful family who was already getting on her nerves, and vid-calls with Sam that did not _begin_ to fill the need for her within the eldest Williams daughter. She needed to be inducted into the Spectres, join the _Normandy_ , and make that girl her _wife_.

Then they needed to win this war and get their house and their dogs and… they just needed to win.

A few hours later, she left her last physical therapy session. She ran into Thane in the lobby and invited him to get lunch with her to celebrate. Of all the people she could speak with, he was the only one who really understood why she was so eager to get back into the action. Not because of a glorified sense of her own worth as a hero, but because she must do her part. She could not sit idly by while the others did the work. She didn't mind that civilians did so. They had their own part to play, one that was not on the field of battle. But Ashley was a soldier, and her part was to fight.

Besides his understanding, she had to ask for Thane's advice. She'd put it off, stayed quiet, but it was finally time…

"Thane?"

"Yes, Ashley?"

She set aside the remnants of her sandwich, took a swig of her beer, then sighed. "What should I do about Kelly Chambers?"

Thane blinked several times before answering. "I don't understand. What is there to do?"

"I haven't told Shepard about Kelly. I haven't told _anyone_ about Kelly, not even Sam."

"I see."

Ashley looked up to find Thane's obsidian eyes staring into the middle distance. He began murmuring. She only caught snatches. "... relieved… the commander's tone… Kelly's crying…"

"Thane?"

His eyes focused after a moment. "Sorry. I… it is harder to keep from falling into memory as my disease progresses."

"It's all right. But… what were you seeing?"

"I watched Kelly and Shepard as they parted, here, on the Citadel. Shepard was turning the _Normandy_ over to the Alliance after the events in the Bahak system. They did not know when they would see each other again, and this dismayed them both. But at the same time… there was an air of hope. Shepard was hopeful that her courts-martial would end soon and she would be free to pursue Kelly _and_ Dr. T'Soni, and to help prepare for the arrival of the Reapers. With or without the Alliance. She was a Council Spectre and knew she could at least carry on her mission in that capacity."

"How do you know? Those aren't the kind of things Miriam would share with just anyone." Ashley left unsaid that _she_ was the only person Shepard would've shared that with before the commander's death.

Thane's smile was warm, indulgent. "Shepard did not have many friends available to her after her resurrection. Mr. Vakarian was with her, yes, but he was battling his own demons. I found that she wandered in to speak with me more and more. After she helped me with my son, we grew closer. I had been married, indeed was the only person she was close to who had participated in anything more than casual liaisons other than Ms. Goto. She asked me my opinion, my advice, much as you do now. I listened, and told her what I thought."

"I guess that makes sense," Ashley muttered. She had been feeling guilty since talking with Miriam about Kelly all those weeks ago. She'd abandoned her best friend, and knowing how hard Miriam had it during that time made her feel guilt instead of the anger she'd felt back when they met on Horizon.

A hot stab of anger answered her guilt now, however. _Miriam was working for Cerberus. She put everyone in danger, and she was sad about how many_ _ **girlfriends**_ _she had. Meanwhile, she's going onto a derelict Reaper and is possibly indoctrinated._

 _There's no way she's indoctrinated_ , she tried to reason with herself. _Indoctrinated people fuck things up, they don't fight against the Reapers. They find some way to justify fighting_ _ **for**_ _the Reapers. Like Saren._

" _... it's a testament to your trust…"_

Udina's words echoed in her head at every opportunity, but it was not something she had been able to speak to anyone about. Her connection to Sam was not encrypted, so they could not speak of potentially classified information. Shepard was not someone she could speak to about Shepard's own possible indoctrination. And she didn't want to scare her family, or Tim. So she had remained silent. She'd remained silent about this and about Kelly. She was taking a risk speaking of Kelly here, with Thane, since some Cerberus agent could overhear her. But she would not take the risk of some journalist overhearing that Miriam might be indoctrinated. Ashley had her own doubts, but she wasn't interested in airing them out for the whole galaxy.

"Ashley," Thane said, getting the LC's attention once more. "You are not at fault for the conclusions you came to. You work by a different code than I do, and you have a different history with Shepard than I do. I trust her with my life, with my son's life. But you served together in the military. That is a code of conduct that, to my understanding, is almost sacred. And, to your eyes at the time, _she broke it_. You are not to be blamed for her loneliness while she was operating outside of Alliance authority, with Cerberus. Even if you had been sympathetic, would you have been permitted to speak with her?"

"No," Ashley said, without hesitation. "I wouldn't have been able to get within fifty feet with her. Except for Horizon, which was purely chance. At least, on the outside. I know the Illusive Man orchestrated the attack," she allowed.

He nodded. "So there is no need to feel guilt for not having been there for her to confide in."

Ashley sighed, slumping in her seat. "I know. I just… I'm still not sure. About anything. I feel guilty for not being there, but then I'm not sure I trust her judgment. But only because of Cerberus. There is literally no other military decisions she's made that I don't agree with, except working with them."

"So why is it you hesitate about Kelly?"

Ashley looked up. "Kelly asked me not to tell Miriam. Said Shepard had Liara, so let her fade out of sight and be forgotten."

"I see." Thane blinked a few times, thinking. "She has unknowingly put you in an unfortunate position."

"Which one of them?"

"Both." Thane smiled. Ashley laughed.

An asari waitress came to the table, interrupting their conversation. Her skin was a much darker shade of blue than Ashley had seen, and devoid of the usual tattoos asari adorned themselves with. Just like Liara.

"Want anything else?" Her voice was gruff. She seemed older than most, not necessarily more graceful but… _wiser_. She didn't look seductive. She looked like she thought you were about as significant as the dirt beneath her heel.

Ashley looked to Thane, who shook his head. "No, we're good," she answered. "Thanks."

"Right." The waitress looked around, then took a seat. "Thanks for inviting me to sit." Her voice was a bit louder than normal.

Ashley was bewildered, but Thane remained unfazed. "Did you have some words of wisdom for us, Matriarch?"

The woman grinned. "You drells sure pay attention, don't you?"

"It has more to do with my profession than my race, but I will take that as a compliment, coming from one of your stature in life."

The asari gave an indignant snort. "Whatever. Quit buttering me up. I don't need sweet talk if sex is what you want. And that's _not_ why I came over here."

"Then why did you?" Ashley blurted, still utterly confused by this woman butting in on their conversation.

"Right. Straight to the point. I like it. Listen. I heard you talking. I know a little about the situation, and-"

"Wait," Ashley interrupted, holding her hand out. "What situation? What do you know? How?"

"I bugged your table because you're Alliance, and former _Normandy_ crew," the asari said, completely unapologetic.

"You are here for reasons other than bartending, then," Thane remarked. At the asari's nod, he added, "I knew I recognized a kindred in you."

"Yeah yeah, don't get all spiritual on me and shit." She turned to Ashley, putting a finger in her face. "Look, you. I have personal and political reasons to keep my eye on Shepard's ship, through her crew if need be. And I'm not sharing 'em. But I thought I'd come in and offer my unsolicited advice as someone who's been in a similar situation."

Ashley furrowed her brow. "What do you mean? What situation?"

"Knowing something one person wants to know and the other doesn't."

"Wait, what about this spying thing? Are you following me?"

The asari shot her a sardonic look. "You are going to be the second human Spectre, hotcakes. I am not the weirdest you're gonna get, not by a long shot. Get used to it. Now, on to my advice," she said, shushing Ashley with another look. "Do what they both want."

"What?" Ashley seemed to be saying that a lot in this unexpected conversation.

"Okay, I'm gonna stop talking to you now." Her voice got a little louder again. "Thanks for the chat, and the generous tip." The asari found her feet, took their used dishes, and left, giving Thane a knowing look.

"That was… what the hell was that?"

Thane smiled, entering information into his omnitool, probably giving the asari the big tip she's just mentioned. "She is a spy for the Matriarch Council. Something to do with Shepard's ship. So she was watching the two of us, as we are both connected to the commander. In the course of her spying, she decided to take pity on you and give you advice for your conundrum. I imagine we weren't saying anything worth knowing as far as spying goes, otherwise she would have kept her cover."

"Why blow it, though?" Ashley was so utterly confused. "Why tell us she was listening in?"

Thane shrugged. "The only way to know is to ask. Perhaps she has little loyalty to the Matriarch Council. Maybe she is a nihilist with the Reaper war here and does not see the point in keeping herself secret. Whatever the reason, she decided that her cover was not important in this instance."

"Huh." Ashley narrowed her eyes. "So what do you think she meant? 'Do what they both want.'"

Thane crossed his knees before looking up at Ashley. "I think I have an idea. What is it that truly worries Shepard in regards to Kelly?"

"I mean, she's _got_ to miss her. But she's worried about Kelly's _safety_. She doesn't know if Kelly's safe from Cerberus."

"And Kelly doesn't wish you to tell Shepard. So perhaps what you could do is work to keep Kelly safe, while also keeping her whereabouts from Shepard. At least, for now. Until you decide whose confidence you wish to break. And if you're willing to distract Shepard with her second lover."

Ashley shook her head. "Fuckin' a, Miriam. It was bad enough you dug yourself into this. How'd _I_ get buried with you?"

Thane smiled. "Sometimes those we love do not make decisions we agree with. It is our duty to try to make them see their lack of wisdom with the worst of those decisions."

"And when we don't, then we have to try to help dig them out. Yeah, I know. Lord knows I've been there myself. If my mom hadn't been willing to kick me into shape… So keep Kelly safe, huh? How? I can't, like, follow her around. That would bring more attention to her, anyway. Not to mention I don't have time for that. And it's, you know, _absurd_."

Thane was quiet a moment, thinking. Finally, he spoke, heading off Ashley's despair of ever figuring this out. "Young Tim and Kolyat both work for C-Sec. Convince her to register with them. She can change her identity, go through their protection program. The only way anyone would know it was her after that would be if they actually had access to C-Sec's mainframe."

"Yeah…" Ashley suddenly smiled. "That's a great idea! It's not the safest she could ever be, but it's a hell of a lot better than running around, telling everyone her name."

Thane smiled. "I, too, am glad we came up with a solution. While we were not close, I am glad we are doing something for her safety. She is a kind person."

Ashley was on her feet. "I should go, if I wanna find her before I go see Udina. Thanks for lunch, Thane. I'll see you around."

"Don't be a stranger now that you've been discharged."

Ashley smiled. "I promise."

* * *

She found Kelly on the docks, in the thick of the refugees. Someone was clearly in crisis, a human man on his feet but hunkered down and curled up into a ball, rocking and holding his head in his hands. And Kelly knelt right next to him, not touching him, but holding his eyes with hers and talking low to him. Surrounding them was a ring of people of various races, perhaps looky-loos, or perhaps friends and family of the man. It was impossible to tell. Probably, it was a mix of both.

Ashley hung back while Kelly did her work. It was a gradual change, but eventually the man stopped rocking back and forth, and then finally even let go of his head. He was nodding, letting Kelly touch his shoulder. Finally, Kelly looked behind her to one of those gathered around, and an asari came forward, replacing Kelly at the man's side. The man fell forward onto his knees and embraced the woman's lap, soft sobs leaving him, muffled by the asari's shirt. Ashley couldn't be sure, but she thought she saw the asari's eyes go black as she turned to leave the crowd.

Kelly melted away as though she had not even been there to begin with.

"Impressive job," Ashley said, getting the redhead's attention as she passed. Kelly nearly jumped.

"Lieutenant!"

"It's Lieutenant-Commander, or Commander. Or you could just call me Ashley, since I'm not active-duty yet, and you're not in the military anyway so you don't have to call me by my rank."

Kelly regarded her a moment, nodded, and then continued walking. Ashley fell into step beside her. "What are you doing here, Commander?" Kelly finally asked. Ashley noticed that she'd been led into a relatively quiet alley, devoid of people. Kelly had stopped, looking up into Ashley's face, her expression almost accusational.

"I just wanted to talk to you, Kelly."

"About what?" Her expression went from accusation to worry. "You didn't tell Shepard I'm here, did you?"

Ashley sighed. "No." Kelly slumped in relief. Ashley plunged ahead. "Look. I know you don't owe me shit. But I owe it to Shepard to try to keep you safe. And you're not safe out here alone, without a safety umbrella."

"What?" Kelly stood tall again, brows knit. "What do you mean by that?"

"You're not protected by anyone. You're just _you_ , privately contracted with the hospital to help people on the docks. People you tell your real name. You should do more to protect your identity, Kelly."

The redhead knit her brows. "And what did you have in mind? I don't have the money to pay protection fees to any of the gangs that are sprouting up."

"Go to C-Sec. My brother-in-law works there, as does Thane's son. See if they have some kind of protection program. Explain you're on the run. Be honest about being a Cerberus defector. They can help you hide your identity, inform the hospital of the name change, and then you can be back to your counseling under a new name."

"No, that would take too long. These people need someone _now_ , and I'm one of the few who will actually come down here."

Ashley frowned at the refusal. "Kelly… c'mon. Please? Go to Kolyat, he'll take you directly to Bailey. They can do things to protect you that a plain civilian just can't do for herself." Kelly continued shaking her head, so Ashley pulled out her last bargaining chip. "Kelly. If you won't protect yourself, then I'll _have_ to tell Miriam you're here. I am not going to let you be assassinated without doing _something_ to protect you." She paused, holding the redhead's green eyes with her own for a moment. "I don't want your blood on my hands."

That seemed to get the woman's attention. "Fine. Just… don't tell Shepard I'm here. I don't want to interfere anymore in her life."

Ashley nodded. "I respect that. Go to C-Sec, ask for Kolyat, and I'll leave you alone. In fact, you never have to see me again."

Kelly left without a word, but Ashley wasn't worried. She was sure the girl would seek the protection she knew Miriam wanted her to have. And as a Spectre, Ashley could always check up on the name Kelly Chambers and see if it… _disappeared_.

* * *

Ashley's visit with Udina turned very quickly to a meeting with the entire Council via hologram. It was short and sweet, entirely unlike the Council in Ashley's experience. They wished to induct her into the Spectres as soon as possible. _Today_. Ashley was available, she just needed to speak with the Alliance first. And she made sure the Council understood that she was an Alliance soldier first. She would not do anything at the Council's order that put her in direct opposition to the Alliance and its goals. If they were not okay with this, then she would not be joining the Spectre ranks.

Surprisingly, the Council unanimously agreed, making Ashley immediately suspicious. Where was the dithering Council of three years ago?

Her time at the Alliance HQ on the Citadel was also quick. And gave her the answer she was looking for. Hackett had received her discharge orders directly from Dr. Michele and had put in the order to reinstate Ashley and issue her first orders. _"Stay on the Citadel and do as the Council says until you are able to rejoin the crew of the Normandy. Commander Shepard has been informed."_

That was it. She took her uniforms and other gear issued by the Alliance, went home to gather her family, and they all returned to the Council Chamber for her induction ceremony.

And now, Ashley stood in her dress blues, white wheel cap seated upon her head, the entire outfit fitting like a glove, as though it had been made to her exact measurements. _Sam is gonna hate me for this._ _ **Her**_ _dress blues itch and fit like they were made for someone less well-endowed in the chest_. _I think she would also hate me for thinking that those tits are_ _ **worth**_ _it._ The Council was now present in full and in person, standing up on their dais overlooking the Council Chamber like the monarchs of old.

 _God, if I told Sam I just had that thought, she'd laugh her ass off._ Ashley smiled, knowing she would be telling Samantha that just to see her smile.

A pang of guilt shot through her. This was all happening so fast, she hadn't had a chance to speak with Sam. The ceremony wasn't something she could postpone, but Sam wasn't answering Ashley's calls, despite it being a time of day they could normally talk. The _Normandy_ must be on a mission or something. The best she could hope for was that Shepard would give it some pomp and circumstance when she told Sam the news. And she had Sara and Libby recording for her so Sam could watch the next time they were on the Citadel.

 _The next time she's here, we're gonna get married,_ Ash reminded herself, grinning just to think of it.

The ceremony itself was short. Ashley stood at attention, the glare of the lights shaded by her cap. Later, she couldn't recall the exact words used, nor which Councilor had said them. She was aware of her family's presence, however: of her mother's silent stoicism and of her sisters' not-so-silent gasps and giggles. She could almost _feel_ Tim trying to stand slightly apart, and being dragged into the fold by Sara, whom he had formed the closest bond with, as she was barely two years older than he was.

 _God. She's so young to be a widow_.

"You are now inducted into the Citadel Council's Special Tactics and Reconnaissance Unit," Councilor Tevos intoned, signaling the end of the ceremony. "You will receive your first orders tomorrow." Ashley watched as the Councilors exited the dais. Only Udina joined Ashley, who was being hugged and congratulated by her family.

"Commander Williams, congratulations," he said, seizing her hand. His grip was much stronger this time around. "Is this your family?"

Ashley was beaming. "Yes, Councilor. These are my sisters and my mom. Oh, and my fiancée's brother," she added. She wasn't used to introducing any boys as part of her family.

Udina didn't shake anyone else's hand, but his smile did seem genuine. "It is so good you were able to get them here with you," he said. "You have been able to accomplish so much, even injured, even out of active-duty status. Imagine how much more you'll be able to accomplish back in both the Alliance and the Spectres? So much more than Shepard ever did." He paused, in which Ashley held back her frown. "Your loyalty to your family name, tainted as it has been, is a testament to your character."

Ashley nearly felt like snarling at him in warning. Digging at Shepard and the Williams name with just Ashley present was one thing, but in front of her family? Ashley's father – Beth's husband and father of her children – had _died_ trying to turn the family's reputation around.

_Not. Cool._

"Keep an eye out on the vids," Udina continued, seemingly oblivious to Ashley's sudden icy demeanor. "We did an ad that features humanity's newest Spectre. You mean everything to your people, Commander. Don't forget that."

He left.

" _That_ slimy bastard is humanity's representation on the Citadel Council?" This was Tim, his British accent coloring the words in a new way that nearly made Ashley burst out laughing, despite the sour taste in her mouth.

"Ash, look." Ashley turned to see Libby already on her omnitool.

"What the hell is that?" she asked, staring at her own face – highly touched up and with way nicer hair than she typically had.

"It's an ad," Tim breathed, coming closer.

It was ridiculous, and yet…

As the camera panned out, Ashley Williams saw that this facsimile of herself stood upon a hill, hair blowing attractively in a breeze, an assault rifle tucked in below her armpit. Scattered all around her was various parts of geth hardware – she would recognize them anywhere after having destroyed so goddamn many of them. She wore her dress blues like she did now, rather than a hardsuit, which would have been mandatory out on a field of battle like that. Over the image, a male voice with a heroic tone said, _"Ashley Williams, second human Spectre,_ _ **true**_ _savior of the Citadel."_

Ashley steamed. She almost spit, she was so mad. But when she looked up… she saw truly awed looks in the eyes of her mother and her sisters. Beth Williams pulled her into a tight hug, and suddenly she saw all of this through new eyes.

"I'm so proud of you, Ashley," she whispered. When she was released, her sisters took turns hugging her fiercely. It warmed her heart, to see this through their eyes. She was so worried about her friend's reputation and Udina's sliminess. But her family saw it without that prejudice. They just saw her, their daughter and sister, and the things she had done, the accomplishments that could be listed under her name. She was a hero. She had saved so many. She had done _good_ and deserved to be celebrated, deserved good things to be said of her.

They were so proud of her. She wasn't the true Savior of the Citadel, but… couldn't she let her family have this?

As her family whisked her off to a celebratory dinner, the scowl on Tim's face gave her pause. Maybe she was wrong?


	29. Tuchanka

**Samantha**

The world burned.

Or, at least, that was how it seemed to Samantha, who had a front-row seat to Tuchanka via Shepard's helmet camera. Everywhere the commander went, buildings were half-standing, rubble spread all around. It made for a chaotic battlefield, but with many places for the _Normandy's_ ground forces to take cover. Of course, that also meant Reaper forces were able to take cover. It was difficult to follow through Shepard's view. The commander had asked Samantha for directions more than once.

Now, Samantha was up on the galaxy map platform, a map of the area around the ground team showing instead of the Milky Way. She was tracking the team's progress, ensuring that Shepard, Liara, Garrus, James, and Javik were all headed in the proper direction. With Reaper ground forces and rubble surrounding them on all sides, it was difficult to keep the proper target. Sam's voice in their ears, reorienting them, was proving more helpful than having Sam at her console, only directing Shepard.

"Commander, something _big_ just appeared. It's…"

{ _Fuck, I see it. It's one of those flying dragon fuckers. It's bad enough the Reapers are giant, flying squid-machines! Why do they gotta have fucking_ _ **dragons**_ _, too?_ } A pause, and then a shout. { _All right, people! Listen up! We need to distract that motherfucker! Liara, I want you and Javik to get as close as you can and tear it apart with your biotics! Garrus, I want you on the other side of the field from me, sniping!_ }

{ _What do you want me to do, Commander?!_ } James's voice almost sounded wounded at being left out.

{ _Get out there and distract it, James!_ }

James responded by swearing loudly in Spanish. Samantha chuckled to herself.

They took down the dragon beautifully. It of course wasn't actually a dragon, but a flying, bleating beast that could shoot a Reaper beam from its chest was close enough for Samantha. With a great, blinding blast of light, the beast fell to the ground, bathing the field of battle in its last throes of death.

Then, all was still.

Samantha left the dais of the galaxy map, leaping down to her station and its console. She listened with one ear as Shepard spoke with Tarquin Victus, the rest of her brain bent to the task of writing her report on the mission. It seemed there was a mutiny on-hand; Victus's men were blaming him for their losses. He tried to back out of finishing his mission, but Shepard pulled him aside, and Samantha had to stop to admire her pep talk, equal parts inspiration and drill sergeant.

{ _Bad calls happen, and owning it takes guts a lot of people don't have,_ } Shepard was saying. { _But you have to own it and then_ _ **move on**_ _._ }

{ _Of course_ ,} Victus said, hanging his head low. { _It's just still fresh right now. Our mission is still a failure. Once we've stabilized the injured, we'll head back to the fleet._ }

Shepard grabbed his shoulderpad, at face-height for her. { _Wait, what? You're_ _ **abandoning**_ _your mission?!_ }

Victus visibly bristled, going on the defensive. { _We're down over thirty men. It would be suicide!_ }

{ _What_ _ **exactly**_ _did you come here to do?_ } Shepard was obviously unperturbed at the turian's raised hackles

Victus's eyes shifted like he wished to evade, but his answer was straightforward enough. { _There's a bomb on the planet. We were sent to defuse it._ }

{ _A bomb? How big?_ }

{ _Enormous. And Cerberus has it._ }

That gave Shepard pause. Samantha was unsure what the commander might be thinking, but she knew that the idea of a giant bomb on Tuchanka, in the hands of Cerberus, certainly made _her_ incredibly nervous. Finally, Shepard spoke, her tone hard. Samantha recognized the franticness underneath, however, from spending so much time with Ashley. { _Lieutenant, if Cerberus has that bomb, you_ _ **have**_ _to finish your mission!_ }

{ _Haven't these men sacrificed enough?_ } Victus countered, pinning Shepard's gaze ( _And me! This is weird!)_ with his own.

Shepard nearly burst a blood vessel. Samantha could see it on the woman's vital signs. { _They're_ _ **soldiers**_ _, not babies! This is what they signed up for! This is a war with the fucking_ _ **Reapers**_ _, Lieutenant! If Cerberus sets off that bomb… it could ruin_ _ **everything**_ _your father and I have been working toward with the krogan!_ }

{ _So what am I supposed to do? We're broken, Commander._ }

{ _Too fucking bad! Kick their asses into gear and let's_ _ **fucking go**_ _! You can have the pity party later!_ }

 _This is what they mean about Shepard's temper,_ Samantha thought to herself. She'd never seen Shepard get this angry, but she had also never seen Shepard faced with such a… _wanker_. This man was whining about his broken men, and completely ignoring the fact that they'd been sent to defuse a bomb that was now in Cerberus's hands. Did he just not get it? Or did he truly care so little for the krogan people?

Yes, his men were broken. Yes, it was hard. But you didn't get to a position of leading others without having already done something hard and lived with the decisions you made.

 _Of course, there's always nepotism_ , Samantha reminded herself. _When was he promoted? Before or after his father became Primarch?_

Shepard – and therefore Samantha – watched Victus walk back to his men, whose hostility was almost palpable. She could no longer hear his words, as Shepard was keeping her distance.

{ _Why are you hanging back, Commander?_ } James asked, coming up alongside her.

Shepard's camera flashed to him briefly before moving back to Lieutenant Victus's back. { _They're not my men. I'm not commanding them._ _ **He**_ _needs to be the one to kick them into gear. It's ridiculous, James. I've made bad calls before. None of my people have ever grabbed me and thrown me around like that, even though in hindsight it was a stupid-ass decision._ }

{ _Yeah, but you're Shepard._ }

{ _Have any of the people_ _ **you've**_ _commanded grabbed you and blamed their bad situation on you?_ }

{ _No, but-_ }

{ _And you lost your whole squad. Shit, Ashley lost her entire unit on Eden Prime when Sovereign attacked. We ran into the husband of one of those lost some days later. He didn't manhandle her, James. He_ _ **thanked**_ _her, for remembering his wife fondly._ }

James was quiet a moment, and Samantha couldn't help but lean forward, abandoning her work for a moment while she awaited the rest of this conversation.

{ _So… what's the deal then? Are the turians just assholes?_ }

{ _No, James. I mean, yeah, their society is really rigid and they're way into military structure and hierarchy. But that's not the deal here. It's_ _ **him**_ _. He's just… not cut out for military command._ }

{ _So why is he here? Why's he still doing it if he's so bad at it?_ }

It was Shepard's turn to pause for a moment. { _Because, James. Even when we don't have them anymore, we're haunted by the expectations of our parents. And some people can't get past it, but they also can't live up to it. They're just… stuck._ }

She walked away then, radioing the _Normandy_ for evac. Samantha dove back into her work, but Shepard's words stayed with her the rest of her shift, replaying in the back of her mind.

* * *

"Shit."

Samantha was lacing up her boots for the next ground mission. Not that she would be on the ground for said mission, but Shepard had called for all hands on deck for the bomb run. They'd taken care of a minor thing in the interim, in which Samantha had grabbed some much-needed sleep while Halanz was at the comms. But now, only four hours of sleep later, Sam was on duty once more.

 _There is not enough coffee in the galaxy to contend with these hours_.

She had been cursing out loud because she'd finally had a chance to download her calls and email. When on an active mission, military intelligence was the only thing allowed through on communications channels. Once a day, a data dump occurred, allowing in all non-military email and voice messages and missed phone calls. The data dump had happened while Samantha had been asleep, and now she saw that she had three missed calls and an email.

She opened the email as she finished with her boots.

_Hey, Doofus._

_So I have some good news! I've been pronounced fit and healthy, and I've been released from the hospital's care! I'm back on active-duty with the Alliance again!_

_Unfortunately, the Council also got their hands on me. I had hoped we could schedule my induction into the Spectres for when you were next on the Citadel, but since the_ Normandy's _goings-on are classified as all get out, there was no way to schedule it, and I couldn't find a good excuse. I tried calling, but you guys must be on a mission or something._

_So here's a picture of my new pin on my dress blues. I love you, baby. Everyone's doing great. I can't wait to see you again._

_Love,_

_Ashley_

Attached was a picture of Ashley, in her dress blues and smiling. It was candid, which meant the smile was a real one, open-mouthed and in the middle of a laugh. Her hair was pulled back into a proper bun, her wheel cap jaunted up as if someone had just tried to hit it off her head, and her white teeth gleamed as brightly as her perfectly shined buttons. She looked beautiful, and _hot_ , and a wave of longing and love and desire suddenly hit Samantha so hard she was nearly left winded.

"It has been _way_ too long," Sam whispered to herself, closing her email and pulling on her uniform shirt. "But she's been cleared for duty. She'll be on the _Normandy_ again just as soon as we cure the genophage." She sighed, blowing her hair out of her face. "You know. No big deal. People do that every day, right?"

Shaking her head at the ludicrousness of the thought, Sam grabbed a cup of very black coffee and headed for the lift, once again cringing at the state of her hair.

The CIC was less pandemonium than it had been for Sur'Kesh. Then, the call for all hands had been an emergency. The CIC had been a zoo. Now, the mission had a rendezvous time, and Shepard had decided all hands before Sam was even relieved of her last shift. So she had ample warning, and had gone straight to bed to capitalize on what sleep she could get. As had everyone else. Meaning the CIC, while crowded compared to its usual state, was now at least under control.

She barely nodded a greeting to Halanz, going to the station that was normally Shepard's terminal, and logging in. As soon as her earbud was in, Samantha was privy to a rather horrific conversation.

{ _What do you mean,_ _ **turian**_ _?_ }

Tarquin Victus's voice spoke next. As he spoke, Shepard's helmet cam activated, showing a grainy image of the turian lieutenant, aboard his own shuttle. { _My people planted it centuries ago, as a safeguard against another Krogan Rebellion_.}

Sam was flabbergasted. This bomb was a _doomsday bomb_ , planted after distributing the genophage?! Were the turians so truly void of empathy for the krogan people? Neuter them, and then plant a bomb just in _bloody_ case?!

{ _It's brutal,_ } Garrus was saying, eyes expressing regret as he spoke to Shepard, { _but it makes a kind of sense. The Rebellions almost destroyed galactic stability. They were_ _ **scared**_ _._ }

Shepard's head whipped back to the grainy image of the junior Victus. { _You won't earn trust with tactics like that. But you aren't the one who did it. We have to focus on why we're here. To defuse this bomb and keep the krogan and turian alliance_ _ **intact**_ _._ }

{ _Agreed. We'll get this done, Commander. We'll cover you and draw their fire._ }

{ _And we'll sneak in from two sides_ ,} Shepard finished. { _See you on the other side, Lieutenant._ }

The image disappeared, and then Shepard turned to the interior of the shuttle. Standing or sitting before her were the various members of her ground team: James, Liara, Garrus, EDI, and Javik. Each of them were armored and armed for the hostile surface upon which they would land. Only one change had occurred since the last ground mission, six hours previously – James had painted all their armor to match the dirty, dusty environment that was the wastelands of Tuchanka.

This was a stealth mission.

{ _All right, ladies,_ } Shepard said, addressing her team. { _We're doing this as two teams of three. James, Garrus, and Javik, you'll head around to the right. Take everyone down that you can. No mercy, no prisoners. Technically, you're acting as a second distraction for us. Liara, EDI, and I are a bit smaller and lighter. We'll be taking this route_.} Here, Shepard raised her arm, showing a GUI projection of the ruined buildings through which they needed to travel to get to the bomb unseen. { _It's an access tunnel left by the turians in case they needed to manually detonate the bomb in secret._ _The path is much more treacherous, and cramped, but it's also completely void of Reaper or Cerberus forces. With Victus acting as a distraction force, they'll expect some stealth forces to sneak in. When they find you, they'll think that's it. Hopefully, if things go according to plan, they won't expect us to sneak in from under the floors._ }

Shepard paused, looking around. { _Any questions?_ }

When none were forthcoming, the camera bobbed with a nod. { _Good. James, your new camera working?_ }

{ _Yup!_ } he replied cheerfully. { _Gonna show Sam a good time. Isn't that right, Sam?!_ }

_Shit, am I expected to respond?_

"Actually, I… have Shepard, James. Sorry." There, short and sweet. She hated getting roped into their conversations over the comms. It was awkward. Especially because of the juxtaposition of horrifying combat and witty repartee. _Well, not witty, not with James. But still._

{ _Fine. I'll show Halanz a good time. You can be jealous when we talk about it later._ }

{ _Head in the game, James,_ } Shepard said. { _Stop flirting with our comms officers._ }

{ _Yes, Commander_.} James's face held not one hint of remorse, a wide grin visible through the clear front of his helmet.

Shepard heaved a heavy sigh and turned away from him. { _All right, everyone. Get ready. We're dropping near an active battlefield, using it as cover. There's a ton of shuttles making drops nearby. With luck, we'll get lost in the craziness._ }

* * *

{ _He never hesitated. Whatever he was before, he'll be_ _ **remembered**_ _for this._ }

Shepard's helmet camera bobbed up and down as the commander nodded. { _He did what he had to do when it counted._ }

Garrus heaved a heavy sigh. { _Yes. Yes, he did._ }

Samantha wiped a tear from her eye. She didn't know Tarquin Victus. She hadn't spoken to him, nor to his father. She didn't know much about turian culture, or krogan culture for that matter. But she had watched Victus go from a defeated man to sacrificing himself _for the krogan people_ in the span of only a few hours. He had many doubts… but he died a hero.

_And if he had lived, imagine what more he could have done._

But now was not the time for tears. It didn't matter that, in Victus, Sam saw her brothers. It didn't matter that this world had literally been saved by the man's ( _barely more than a boy!_ ) sacrifice. The show must go on, and all of that. They weren't done yet.

Shepard immediately asked for Hackett when she got back to the ship. Still in hardsuit, she made her way to the QEC while Samantha raised the admiral. Getting through his own communications staff was easy enough, and then she had Shepard's voice on the other end. Only it cut out almost immediately.

_Huh. Must be confidential. Even from me._

Minutes later, she had Shepard's comms back. There was no video, of course, but Sam knew all voices involved by now.

{ _The genophage wasn't enough?_ } came Wrex's voice. { _You had to plant a_ _ **bomb**_ _on my planet?!_ }

{ _The decision was made hundreds of years ago!_ } Primarch Victus countered. His tone was almost pleading. { _So much has changed since then!_ }

{ _Not enough to tell us about the bomb! Coward!_ }

{ _I wanted to make this right!_ } Victus insisted. { _How would you have reacted if I told you about this before it was disarmed?!_ }

{ _You're both wrong,_ } Shepard suddenly said. She sounded far closer. The other two didn't have mics. Only Shepard. Working very quickly, Sam tapped into its controls, upping the volume. She also hailed James, typing a text message and letting him know Shepard might need backup in the War Room.

{ _What?_ } Wrex's voice was deadly.

{ _The Reapers are out there, and here you are tearing yourselves apart from within. This is their modus operandi, gentlemen._ } Shepard paused a moment, then continued. { _Primarch, you had a bomb on Tuchanka. And Wrex, in the turians' place, you would've done the same damn thing._ }

{ _Hey-_ }

{ _It's over, Wrex! It's done! It's gone and no longer a threat! The Primarch's_ _ **only son**_ _died today making this right! So drop it!_ }

{ _Please, Commander, it's all right!_ } Victus interjected. { _His upset is understandable._ }

{ _You've made you point_ ,} Wrex harrumphed. { _We have stronger enemies to face. A united force is a stronger force._ }

James burst forth from the lift at that precise moment, his chest armor still on.

"Hold up, soldier!" Sam cried, halting him.

"But you said-"

"I know. But Shepard seems to have patched it up. They're just talking now. Wrex buggered off."

James stopped trying to get around her, instead staring down at her. He was a little taller than Ashley, which meant he completely dwarfed Sam. But they had become friends, and she completely trusted him at this point. She didn't feel threatened by his proximity or his greater height at all.

Taking a deep breath, he nodded, turned, and headed right back into the lift. Sam turned around as the lift closed, taking James back to the shuttle bay.

After a few seconds of silence, she was tuned back into the conversation in the War Room. { _My son died with the respect of his men_ ,} Victus was now saying.

 _Shit, that conversation got heavy_ _ **fast**_ _,_ Sam thought _._

 _{His sacrifice will be recorded in the histories of the Ninth Platoon. Something any father would be proud of…_ }

Samantha nearly needed to wipe away a tear again. The Primarch didn't sound proud. He just sounded… defeated.

{ _Yes, sir,_ } Shepard murmured, heaving a great sigh. She sounded just as defeated.

 _Damn this war_ , Sam thought, not for the first time. _Damn this war for turning even our heroes into jaded husks of human beings._

Heaving her own sigh, Samantha got back to her mission report, detailing her side of the ground mission for Shepard to review and send on to the Alliance mission files.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, for anyone still following this fic... I apologize for picking it back up just to drop it again for a time. I lost all focus on ALL writing this spring, due to a lot of personal reasons. I got a bit depressed. I tried starting a few things to try to get my muse back, but nothing worked. It's back now, I'm doing better now. As I was on my way out I started my next Inquisition fic, and I'm... so-so about it. I don't think it's me best writing by any means, but I'm grateful that having it helped pull me out of writer's block hell.
> 
> Anyway, I'm hoping to write on this for a little while. It may be slow as I take on NaNoWriMo while also possibly starting a new job (I hope). But my brain has been abuzz with where I'm taking this fic next, and that is usually a very good sign.
> 
> So, if you're still following this... I hope you enjoy!


	30. First Assignment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I started a new job and also jumped on the WayHaught ship-train for Wynonna Earp, so I got suddenly quite busy. Raven Sinead, too, got busy, but she betad and returned 2, count 'em, 2 chapters to me this weekend! I've got one here, and then the next I'll post in like a week.
> 
> I'm also participating in NaNoWriMo right now and my first day's commute to work was murder on my back (bulging disc + sitting in the car for three hours = no bueno), so I'm basically a ball of exhaustion today. But! Hopefully as I get used to it, the writing will flow. And then once I'm done NaNoWriMo, I can split my focus between original stuff and fanfiction.
> 
> Now for this chapter. A couple reminders since I keep doing big long gaps on this one. 1) Udina's been insinuating that Shepard might be indoctrinated and it's been niggling at Ashley's brain. 2) Beth is Ashley's mother. 3) I dunno, but lists should come in threes, right?
> 
> Enjoy!

 

**Ashley**

Ashley fidgeted. So far, her first assignment as a Council Spectre was to just… sit tight. Literally, she was in her Alliance fatigues with a pistol at her hip, standing outside the suite of embassy offices, and watching all the people go by. More than one person stopped and engaged her in conversation, congratulating her on being inducted into the ranks of the Spectres the day before. Other Spectres identified themselves and congratulated her, as well.

It was boring as fuck for most of it. Ashley resented the hell out of it. She was here to look cute for Udina and the rest of the Council. It was confirmed when a camera bot swooped in on her, followed by a familiar face.

"Lieutenant-Commander Williams!"

Ashley schooled the scowl that tried to take root on her face, forcing it into a neutral expression.

"Lieutenant Williams! Khalisa Bint Sinan al-Jilani with ANN News Source! Please, the people need information on Earth!"

Ashley watched as the reporter came close. She stayed at parade-rest, though, not making eye contact until they were barely three feet apart. Then she looked at the reporter, remembering her sprawled on the ground after Miriam had decked her. It almost made Ash smile.

Almost.

"Lieutenant Will-"

"Commander."

"I- I'm sorry?"

Ashley took a deep breath, trying desperately to ignore the little red light near the camera bot's lens making it clear it was recording.

"My rank is Lieutenant-Commander. It's either the whole thing, or 'Commander' if you're going to address me by rank."

"Okay… Commander Williams, then. Can you tell our viewers what's going on down on the ground?"

Ashley shook her head. "I'm sorry, ma'am, but interviews are not being conducted at this time."

"I won't be kept from information, Commander!" Al-Jilani snapped. Ashley actually broke parade-rest to take a small step back, away from the sudden _fire_ in the reporter's eyes. "This anti-human conspiracy-"

"Whoa! Calm down!" Ashley resumed her position. "There's no conspiracy!"

"My viewers will know that C-Sec _and_ the Council are denying them access!"

Ashley frowned, considering the reporter for a moment. She would love to explain that she knew absolutely nothing because she'd been in the damn _hospital_ until now, completely kept out of the loop, but that wouldn't do. Not with a live camera. And not with this woman's history of hysterics on said camera.

"I simply can't help you," she finally said, shrugging.

"Well, I'm camping out until I get an audience!" al-Jilani declared.

"Suit yourself," Ashley said, going back to parade-rest and breaking eye contact.

The reporter stayed there for a good few minutes, but finally lost the game of chicken with Ashley and moved to sit at the closest seat available in the waiting area outside the Councilors' offices. Ashley almost lost track of her, but that fucking little red light showed from time to time, getting her attention.

One hour clicked by. Then two. Ashley scowled. She could certainly wait the woman out. She'd done this as punishment before, standing watch, remaining totally still, for hours on end for some stupid decision in boot. It had been years, but she knew she had the mental discipline. Days of this though… that would be tough. Hopefully tomorrow they'd have had enough of her on display and she could actually fucking _do_ something.

After a few hours, Udina finally buzzed her omnitool. She disappeared inside, and he filled her in on the lengthy meeting he'd just conducted with the rest of the Council via hologram. Settling in, Ashley listened to enough mindless political bullshit to choke a horse.

* * *

Ashley was three hours late for lunch by the time she was finally dismissed. The rest of the day was hers, however, and the next day she'd get to work with Bailey to strengthen security on the Citadel until the Normandy came. She was to check in with Udina three times a day, but, other than that, she was happy with her first assignment.

The reporter from earlier was still seated outside The Council's offices. She looked a little rumpled, a little worse for wear, and it suddenly occurred to Ashley that maybe, just maybe, this woman was so crazed because information really was that hard to come by. What if she had family on Earth? Friends? A husband or wife? _I would be completely out of my mind, and_ _ **I**_ _have military training. She doesn't._

"Hey! Khalisa!"

The reporter blinked rapidly a moment. She'd clearly been staring off into the middle distance. She shot to her feet when she saw it was Ashley, though.

"Commander?"

"What's really going on?"

"I don't- aren't you friends with Commander Shepard? What's she doing? How can she justify running away while millions of people die?!"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Ashley said, holding up her hands. "Slow down! We left Sol because we needed help!"

"What about all the people suffering while she plays politics with the Council? While _you_ play politics _for_ the Council? I saw you today. You just… _stood_ here!"

Ashley frowned. "Who's on Earth?"

"What?"

"Who got left behind?"

"My… my sister. I haven't gotten news since they cut the feeds. It's been _weeks_."

Ashley nodded. "We're doing everything we can. I was on my feet today to prove I could do it after being injured so badly on our way out of Sol. Tomorrow, I'm going to C-Sec. As for Shepard…" _She's out there, possibly being indoctrinated, with my_ _ **fucking**_ _fiancée on her ship!_ "She's doing what she's always done: trying to find a way to stop the Reapers. And maybe she can do it now that everyone actually believes her."

"I just… I feel so useless. What can a _reporter_ do?"

"Keep asking the hard questions. Be a _journalist_. Don't let the Council or the Citadel forget about Earth, or that there's a _war on_ out there. Because it sure as shit ain't _here_."

"Right. Right. I can do that."

"Good. We all need to do our part. Not everyone can get their boots on the ground, but there's plenty you can do that jarheads like me can't."

"All right. I… thank you, Commander Williams."

Ashley watched as the reporter switched off her camera, dusted herself off, and headed toward Councilor Udina's office. Ashley didn't know if the woman would get an interview, but she'd done her job. It was Khalisa's job to take it from there.

And hey. She even managed not to punch her in the face.

* * *

Ashley still couldn't get a hold of Sam. She did get a single email response from her, though. The ship was participating in a ground mission and would only be getting daily information dumps until they were done doing whatever it was they were doing. Ashley understood. Before reading Sam's email, though, she saw that Miriam had sent one, too.

She opened it first.

_Ash,_

_I got the notice of your discharge. Glad you're doing well enough to get out of the hospital. I also got the order that you'll be rejoining my crew when next we dock on the Citadel. I'll be glad to have you on the ground with me. Nothing like a Williams watching your six._

_Congrats on the Spectre ceremony. Hopefully they did it less last-minute for you than they did for me. There was so little pomp and circumstance for me… then they threw me at Saren the next fucking minute._

_Of course, I guess I asked for that one…_

_Anyway, congrats. We can talk about command structure when you get on board. ;)_

_-Mir_

Ashley's heart panged. It _sounded_ like Shepard. Same brevity. Same slight awkwardness about feelings. Same stupid winky-face. But indoctrination was so sinister. Shepard wouldn't know it. It wouldn't come out in a simple, short email.

Would it?

_Need to get on that ship. I'll be able to make a better decision, and protect Sam if I need to, if I'm just_ _**there** _ _._

Sighing heavily, Ashley moved on to Sam's email.

_Hey, Ash._

_So, you're a Spectre! And you're out of the hospital! Such good news to wake up to! I, of course, can't tell you anything about what we've been up to, but rest assured I am a dashing hero on the comms. Fixing code, blocking viruses, directing Shepard to the next ladder. So daring!_

_I really don't have much else to say. I hope you're well. I love you. I'm proud of you. Now I'll go write Tim. God, it'll be even shorter…_

_Love,_

_Sammy_

Ashley snickered. She understood Sam's reticence. There wasn't much to say at the moment, but the desire to reach out and connect was so strong she could almost taste it. So they did, even if their messages were short.

Sighing, Ashley shut down her omnitool, got out of the cab, and walked the few blocks to her apartment. Everyone was home when she got there.

_Fuck. I wanted to have some quiet time with a book…_

"Ash!"

"Want something to eat?"

"We're gonna watch a vid!"

Suppressing a groan, Ashley shook her head and headed for the bathroom. She could get a little privacy in here, at least. It was worth delaying a snack. Turning on the bath, she stripped down, throwing her clothes in the sanitizer after removing all her pins.

She observed herself in the mirror after undressing. Her hair could use a trim, and there was still the barest hint of bruising around her eyes, but everything else was normal. She had perhaps lost just a bit of weight and muscle while convalescing, but she'd expected that. She didn't think she was particularly sexy to look at – certainly, not the picture of feminine grace – but at the same time, she could see what she brought to the table for someone like Sam. Ashley was tall, and well-muscled, with an ass and thighs that made it possible for her to run down an enemy even while carrying all the armor and weaponry she sported in combat.

They also allowed her to pick Samantha up and throw her around a little, when that was what she wanted.

Ashley wasn't feminine or graceful, but she was fit and strong, with a body that could do what she needed it to do. One day, she'd get lazy – and probably fat, with how she ate – in an office somewhere. But first… first she'd use this body to do her small part to end the Reapers.

Climbing into the bath, Ashley lay back, luxuriating in the oversized tub. Usually, she did the military shower: five minutes of scrubbing, rinse off, then you're done. But today, after such a test of her mental strength while standing outside the embassies, Ashley needed to relieve the tension. It was also her first day with absolutely no painkillers, and her first day not taking it easy outside of physical therapy. Tomorrow, she'd go to the shooting range, work out, and see how she could help Bailey. Maybe she'd check in on Thane. But today… today she'd relax the rest of the day.

After only a few minutes, she started thinking about Sam again. She missed her. But it was more than just being wistful. It was a physical ache. They'd been almost inseparable for six months, and then the fucking _day_ after their anniversary – and engagement! – the fucking Reapers hit. Others had been unluckier… but it was still pretty shit luck.

Ashley missed Sam's smile, her hair getting in the way of their kisses, her geeking out about chess at the most inopportune moments – _like_ _ **in bed**_. She missed Sam getting her ukulele out and playing when she was bored, or when she missed home. Sam would make Ashley sing with her, even though Ash couldn't sing for shit. Of course, the moment Sam told her the huskiness was _sexy_ , Ash had stopped trying to bow out of singing. Ashley missed Sam's lips, the press of their kisses, the soft feel of those lips as Sam peppered Ashley's collarbone with light kisses and flicks of her tongue.

Most of all, though, Ashley missed Sam's voice. They were talking with some regularity now, but there was only so much their cold omnitools could transmit. Ashley missed how Sam's voice would get just above a whisper the closer together they got. She missed the way Sam's breath whispered over her skin. She missed how Sam's voice became quite low in register when she was speaking in Ashley's ear, telling her all about the unspeakable things they were about to do together.

Shuddering, her body suddenly humming with arousal, Ashley trailed her hand down between her legs. It wasn't Sex with Sam, but it was all she had at the moment, and for once she had a few minutes to herself. So, summoning up one of those fantasies she'd tell Sam all about later, Ashley took care of her sudden need to let off some steam.

Thirty minutes later, she exited the restroom, clean and dressed and entirely relaxed, if also feeling a little dirty for reasons having nothing to do with actual cleanliness.

"Oh, thank God, I thought I was gonna pee myself!" Lynne shouted, ducking into the bathroom as soon as Ashley's hand left the doorknob.

Ashley blushed. She'd been quietly masturbating while her poor sister had needed to pee. Oops.

"So," her mother, Beth, said, getting her attention. "Today was your first day on assignment."

"Yeah," Ashley said, wandering into the kitchen.

"Well?"

"What?" Ashley grabbed herself an apple. Fresh fruit was hard to come by, but one of Tim's coworkers knew a guy, and he'd brought a dozen of them home the day before. Six had been immediately used for an apple pie, which was sitting and smelling amazing while it cooled on the countertop. Ash would have swiped part of _that_ , but she knew her mother would have immediately known who'd taken it. All of the sisters were voracious eaters, but Ashley was a marine. Her metabolism probably required twice the calories of her sisters. Plus… she'd always been the one with the sweet tooth.

"Jesus, Ash, tell her about your day before she bursts a vein or something!" Sarah yelled. She sat next to Tim, where they both watched the biotiball game.

"Oh. Right." Ashley finished chewing, giving Beth a sheepish smile. "Sorry, Mom. It was, um… boring, honestly. I just stood outside the embassies for fu—forever." Beth raised an eyebrow at Ashley almost swearing, but said nothing, so Ashley continued. "Then we met about the Council for like three hours without lunch. Then I was released. Tomorrow, I get to check if Bailey could use a hand. Maybe I can go in with you, Tim?"

"I start with PT in the mornings, Ash," he said, not turning around.

"Good! Need to keep up my exercise if I'm gonna rejoin the _Normandy_!"

This time, Tim _did_ turn around. "PT with a marine? I'm screwed."

"Aww, c'mon, Tim. I've been in the hospital. I'll need you to help me get back up to combat strength!"

"That is an honor I don't particularly need."

Ashley snorted, shaking her head. He was so much like Sam sometimes, despite the fact that he and Sam almost constantly bickered when they were together.

"So you are to join the _Normandy_ when it next docks," Beth said, regaining Ashley's attention.

"Yeah."

"Samantha is on that ship, correct?"

"That's right."

Beth fixed her with a curious expression. Ashley wasn't really sure what it meant. Maybe concern? _Maybe she's worried they'll be kicked out when I leave?_ "You guys can stay here, Mom. Spectres keep their apartments even when they're not on the Citadel." She smirked. "You can even take my bed. You _are_ the matriarch, after all."

Her mother chuckled, but then that look reappeared. This time, however, she said something. "I imagine you two will rush your wedding, given the war?"

Ashley immediately flushed bright red. She'd planned to do that quietly, with just Shepard and Sam. A formality that she and her fiancée could celebrate privately. Then, when everything was over, said and done, they could have a big wedding; their families would be there – _both of our families, dammit!_ – and they could have the biggest party anyone had ever seen.

She didn't want to rush that part. The formality of having Sam legally attached to her while they both served was what was most important to Ash at this time. The rest could follow after. After they knew what had happened to everyone…

"I see I'm right," Beth said now, and reached over, patting Ashley's red cheek. "My little marine, showing her feelings so well on her face."

"Mom…"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

The room fell silent, only the sound of the game filling the air. Nobody else's eyes were on her, but a quick glance told Ashley that everybody watching the game had gone completely still.

 _Fuck_.

"I…"

"You're not in trouble, Ashley."

Ashley frowned and turned away. "I wanted to get the legal part of things out of the way now. And then, when we find Sam's family… _then_ we can have the big wedding, the big party."

"Why have it at all, then, Ashley?"

"Mom… you know…"

"You need to say it, Ashley. The _true_ reason. And it's not because of Samantha and Timothy's family. Not completely."

The LC slumped. She was no longer blushing. She was terrified of saying the words out loud. Every marine was. When faced with your own mortality, who _wouldn't_ be afraid of admitting just how quickly your seemingly indomitable mind could _end_? It was why Ashley clung so tightly to her faith. It couldn't just… _end_. She couldn't believe that.

Ashley straightened, looking down on her mother, who was several inches shorter than her. "Because, Mom. I could die on my very next mission, and if I do, I want to have done everything I could to protect that woman who asked me to take her as my wife, for better or for worse. I almost didn't get the chance to protect her. I'm not doing that again."

Beth Williams was still for a moment. As Ashley watched, a quiet tear gathered upon her lashes, and fell down the woman's cheek when she blinked. But that was it.

"Thank you," her mother said aloud, then went to the door, took her bag from the table, and exited the apartment.

"Mom…" Ashley tried, but Sarah was magically right next to her, keeping her from following their mother.

"Let her go, Ash. She needs to process this." Ashley turned to look down into her sister's big, brown eyes. They shone with moisture. "We almost lost you. And when the _Normandy_ comes, we might lose you again. You barely made it off the _first_ time it was destroyed. Then you got your _neck_ broken the last time you served on the ship. That's a lot to ask Mom to be okay with."

"Dammit, I'm a marine, Sarah! I can't just sit by and do nothing!" Ashley nearly shouted. "I can't stay here if there's a chance I could help out _there_!"

"I know, Ash," Sarah said. "Thomas was the same. He jumped back into action with the same kind of enthusiasm that you and Dad share. And I wouldn't have it any other way. I loved him for it. I love you all for it." Sarah took Ashley by the shoulders and stared up into her eyes, dead serious. "But that doesn't mean we have to like it. It doesn't mean we don't get to be sad that we might lose you. You're the only one out of the three of them left alive, Ash."

Sarah then collapsed into a sobbing mess in Ashley's arms, and all Ashley could do was hold her and turn her guilty gaze upon the rest of her family.


	31. Curing the Genophage

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter I had ready. First week of work was stressful as fuck, given the results of the US election and now suddenly being a commuter, so very little writing happened. But I'm hoping as I get used to working full time again and to being in the car 2+ hours a day, it'll come back to me. I did do some this weekend, though, so there's that. The will and inspiration is not gone, it's just taking a temporary break while I learn to manage my energy allotment for the day again.
> 
> Anyway, without further ado, here's Sam's next portion of this story.

 

**Samantha**

"I'm sorry, Dalatross, but the commander-"

{ _Why am I speaking to a subordinate? I must speak with Commander Shepard!_ }

"They are in a meeting that I _cannot_ interrupt."

{ _This is urgent, human. Get her now._ }

Samantha Traynor was tired of this. She'd been going back and forth with this woman for several minutes. The salarian dalatross seemed to think that Sam could simply interrupt a War Room meeting anytime she wanted. And that was most definitely not the case.

But she was _very_ tired of dealing with this woman.

"Right you are, ma'am, my apologies. Just wait a moment while I transfer your communication."

She placed the woman on hold before the salarian could even respond. _That felt too bloody good_ , Sam thought.

"Commander? Are you free in there yet?"

{ _You have perfect timing, Traynor. We just finished._ }

"Oh, good, because I have the salarian dalatross trying to get a hold of you and she won't leave me alone."

{ _What did she do?_ }

"Essentially called me the help and demanded I route you to her. I… might have put her on hold before she acknowledged that's what I would be doing…"

Shepard snickered before answering. { _All right. Route it in here, and I'll take it. I imagine this will be confidential._ }

"I imagine so, ma'am." Sam entered the correct sequence, and then the call was gone. "She's ready for you."

{ _Thanks. Shepard out._ }

Sam took a deep breath and plunged into the maintenance of communications between the krogan, turians, and Alliance forces. This was not going to be easy…

* * *

"Dammit I lost them!"

Sam looked up to see Halanz panicking.

"What do you mean?" she asked her subordinate.

"She went underground, and I can't find her again!" Halanz shouted, scrolling swiftly through the code from the last few minutes of communication. "I have everyone else, but not Shepard! We should be able to cut through _dirt_! I don't understand!"

"Here, take over with this," Sam said, ushering Halanz over to her own terminal. "Keep everyone talking. I'll find Shepard."

Sam ran up to the galaxy map, currently showing the giant Reaper parked at the Shroud facility. Manually manipulating the image, she zoomed in. Then she pulled up the holographic interface Shepard usually used to plot a course.

"Where did she disappear, Halanz?" she called over her shoulder.

"See where the road's fucked up right there?" Halanz said, and Sam looked. Yes. The road was in ruins. Searching, she found the tunnel Shepard would have used to escape the turian gunship that had lost control.

Sam couldn't penetrate ( _oh, hell, really Sammy?_ ) inside the tunnel, however. _Bloody hell. What do I do? She's blind down there. I'm blind up here. We've lost communication with each other. Shit shit shit. What do I…_

Sam began typing at a furious pace. "EDI?"

"Yes, Specialist Traynor?"

"What's the ID tag for Shepard's new omnitool?" Sam had it on her own omnitool, but she didn't have the time to open it and find it.

An ID tag popped up on her display. Taking it and inserting it into a line of code, Sam hacked directly into Shepard's omnitool.

"Commander Shepard?" she tried.

{ _Sam! Thank God. I've got you! Where… where the fuck are you talking to me from, Sam?_ }

"I hacked your omnitool. We can work later on your security. For now, it's a good thing."

{ _Agreed. If we can't talk through my helmet's radio, I'm guessing you also can't see, right?_ }

"Right. I can't penetrate the surface of the planet. We're also having trouble keeping comms between all three forces. This link should be rock-solid, though."

{ _I hope so._ }

"I can't give you directions like normal, however. And I can't see through your helmet camera. But I can tell you if Urdnot Wrex or Primarch Victus says anything important."

{ _Gotcha._ }

"Are… are you alone down there, ma'am?"

{ _Yup. And it's creepy as fuck. I highly do_ _ **not**_ _recommend it. So far I've got statues of krogan and a shit-ton of rubble. I keep feeling these tremors. Fucking ominous. Lot of cave-ins down here. Fuck. This is gonna take_ _ **hours**_ _to get through without a map…_ }

"Commander, I have an idea on that, actually," Sam said. Her typing had ceased, and instead she was listening with one ear to the comm line Shepard had dropped from. Mostly, it was a whole lot of swearing on James's part that they'd been separated from Shepard.

{ _I'm all ears, Traynor._ }

"Your new armor is equipped with three drones. I was part of the team that developed it in R&D before I was assigned to the _Normandy's_ retrofits. Have you used them yet?"

{ _No. I haven't needed to yet. But damn, Traynor, this is some damn impressive tech. It reminds me of something Liara used to use as an archaeologist._ }

"I believe it was an asari researcher who was working with my boss, so that makes sense," Sam said. "Anyway, the point is, I believe I can use the drone's camera to see. It connects directly to your omnitool, and _I'm_ connected directly to your omnitool, so…"

{ _Right. I see. Gimme a sec, and I'll have one of these things deployed._ }

A few moments went by, and then a new device connected with Shepard's omnitool. Sam immediately began taking control of it. Another few moments, and she had it.

"All right, Commander," Sam said. "I think I have the hang of the controls now, too. I'll pilot this thing around and do some scans, make a map for you, and maybe we can get you out of there faster."

{ _Smart as a whip, you are_ ,} Shepard said, causing Samantha to blush. { _Hey, do me a favor and let Wrex and the others know I'm okay and that we're working on a way out, all right?_ }

"Roger, ma'am. Shall they continue on without you?"

{ _I need someone to pick me up. But Wrex is in charge. If he thinks he has to go on while I work on getting out, then so be it._ }

Wrex in charge of _everything_ was more than a bit scary to Sam, but she relayed the message to Halanz, who informed the team still inside Wrex's truck.

"All right. So. If I can just…" The light flicked on, and suddenly everything was bathed in the drone's 360-degree lighting. (Technically it was "square degrees," as degrees were only two-dimensional, but nobody bothered to say that when labeling tech. Everyone knew that, practically speaking, everything was 3D and worked accordingly.)

{ _Wow. That thing's got some_ _ **juice**_ ,} Shepard said after a whistle.

Sam piloted the drone around to look at Shepard. She seemed so different. So short. _Right. Because Shepard is taller than me, but this drone is above her._ Sam observed her for another moment or two. Her armor was still painted to match the Tuchankan wasteland. But it was slimmer and lighter than Ashley and James's armor, meant for stealth over brute power. _I rather like Ashley's brute power…_

_Sammy! Really! Not the time!_

Sam just grinned at her own internal reproach, turned the drone, and zoomed away.

 _Lucky I'm so good at 3D Pac-Man_ , she thought to herself, zooming through the tunnels ahead of her far more quickly than Shepard would be able to safely explore on her feet. She took scans, forming a map for Shepard to use to get herself out.

{ _How's it coming, Traynor?_ } Shepard asked after a minute or two of silence.

"Oh. Sorry, Commander. I forgot to keep talking."

{ _Heh, it's all right. I can hear you murmuring to yourself, though, so I thought I'd get you talking for real._ }

 _Shit. Of course I was bloody talking to myself._ "Um… thanks, ma'am. I'm compiling a map for you."

{ _Shit, another tremor. What the fuck is causing this?_ }

"I don't know, ma'am, but I'm going as fast as I can to get you out."

{ _What have we got so far? Any luck?_ }

"Lots of dead-ends, but it looks like…"

{ _What?_ }

Sam stared at the wall in front of the drone, no longer piloting it anywhere. "You… want to see this, Commander. It's… artwork."

{ _What? Krogan artwork?_ }

"Cave paintings, only… a bit more sophisticated than the old caves in France. Very precise. I don't think it's as ancient as cavemen. Cave-krogan? Anyway, I'm sending the location to your omnitool. I'll keep going until I find an exit."

{ _Rog_ ,} Shepard said, and then Sam could hear the gentle sounds of the commander beginning to move again. Several tremors sounded, causing Shepard to stumble and swear, but she made it to the cave paintings after just a few minutes of hoofing it.

{ _Wow,_ } she said. { _Would you look at this? Liara would have a fucking field day with this._ }

"That's right, you said she was an archeaologist. But now she's an information broker. How did that happen?" Sam asked, then immediately wished she hadn't. _Why? Why would I ask such a personal question? Tape your mouth shut, Sammy, so you stop shoving your_ _ **foot**_ _in there!_

{ _It's… a long story. Involving the Shadow Broker and my dead body and the Collectors and… yeah._ }

"The _Collectors_? Wow… I feel bad for anyone who had to deal with them. Nasty buggers, those."

{ _You ran into Collectors?_ }

Sam frowned. _Dammit, Sammy. What did I say about tape and your mouth?_ "I'll… tell you later. I found a way out. But it's… well, there's something there. I'm not sure what to make of it, other than that it's big, covered in Reaper tech, and quite obviously dead." _And disgusting_ , Sam added silently. She did not linger over the corpse.

{ _Send me the maps and I'll make my way. In the meantime, I want you to try something. Send the drone out and see if you can use it to boost my comm signal, will you?_ }

"Yes, ma'am. I won't be able to raise your normal comms, but I can get your omnitool's signal to someone. Who do you want me to connect you with?"

{ _Wrex_ ,} Shepard said immediately.

"Right you are, Commander. And… connected."

{ _Shepard! You still underground?_ }

{ _Yeah, Wrex. I wanted to know about this painting of a giant thresher maw I found. I have a bad feeling that it and these tremors I've been feeling are linked._ }

Sam listened as terror incarnate was described over the comms: Kalros. _Never a dull moment on Shepard's crew_ , she thought as she continued scanning the terrain with the drone.

* * *

Sam was still looking at the giant GUI-map of the area around Shepard, directing the commander and Wrex's caravan simultaneously. She now knew Kalros was real, and was privy to the conversation going on as Wrex led the monster on a merry chase to give Shepard time to make it to them.

Meanwhile, Shepard was fighting her way through Reaper ground forces _on her own_ and somehow keeping her cool. _I would have pissed myself a long time ago_ , was Sam's inner refrain.

Out loud, however, she said, "One of those rachni canon-things is around the corner, Commander!"

{ _Fuck. I'm out of thermal clips, and the only thing I've got left is my sniper. I can't snipe that thing. Unless…_ } Shepard's camera moved so it showed around the corner. At the same time, the commander's sniper rifle came up, the rachni creature down its sight. Its canon heated up; Sam could see it begin to glow a white-ish blue.

Shepard fired. Almost instantly, one of the canons mounted on the creature ruptured. An explosion ensued, taking out the creature and everything in its immediate vicinity.

Shepard whooped. { _Anything left out there, Sam?_ }

"I… no. That took out the last of it, Commander." _Bloody brilliant, that was_.

{ _I wish I could see you gaping like a fish at how badass I am right now,_ } Shepard said, breathing hard as she began running for the outer wall of the ruins she was currently making her way through.

"That's not far-off from my actual reaction, Commander," Sam confessed. Though, to her credit, she was still working. "Wrex and his caravan are just fifty meters below you. There seems to be a way down, but only you can really know if it's something you can traverse."

{ _I got it. Don't worry._ }

And then Shepard was descending a series of drops that no human should be able to manage, and it took a minute for Sam to attribute it to the fact that Shepard was a cyborg by every definition of the word and it made a bit more sense to her. Shepard _wasn't_ entirely human…

Urdnot Wreav's truck was taken by Kalros just as Shepard made it to Wrex's truck. She ducked in as it began to move, in fact, and Sam nearly had a heart attack watching it happen through Shepard's helmet camera _and_ on the giant map in front of her.

{ _What about Wreav?_ } Eve asked as the truck zoomed away.

{ _No way he survived that!_ } Wrex replied. { _He was a pain in the ass anyway. Let's finish this! That Reaper's blood needs to soak Tuchanka's soil!_ }

 _Well,_ Sam thought. _He certainly has a flair for the dramatic_.

* * *

The thresher maw shot out of the ground, latched on to the Reaper, and – more quickly than should have been possible – wrapped its entire body around the giant machine. Then… it began to _constrict_.

 _It looks like Richard's snake he had before Mum made him give it away_ , Sam thought, watching as metal bent beneath the raw strength of the giant worm. The room erupted in applause, in cries of victory, in shouting and embraces and whoops of joy. To see something so _organic_ , so raw and powerful, so primal and _angry_ , take down a Reaper…

But Sam noticed that Shepard was not looking up at the Reaper. Instead, she was dodging rubble and running as fast as she could for the Shroud facility's entrance. Disappearing inside, many meters ahead of Shepard, was Mordin Solus.

The salarian scientist had been on the _Normandy_ for several weeks now, but Sam hadn't run into him at all. She'd steered clear of the medbay, of Mordin and Eve, visiting with Doctor Chakwas in the crew quarters when she saw her, but otherwise not even seeing the doctor due to her avoidance of the medbay. They were so… big. And Sam was small. She wasn't even a commissioned officer. No reason for her to get involved in anything with any of these… bloody _heroes_. One hero was enough for her, thanks.

But as Communications Specialist, Sam was privy to _everything_ Shepard did and said.

{ _Mordin, where are you going?!_ } Shepard shouted. Mordin was leaving the consoles along the wall and heading for the lift at the back of the room.

{ _Temperature malfunction, Shepard. Must correct manually. Up there._ }

Shepard continued running through the room. { _It's too dangerous! Do it remotely! This whole place is gonna blow!_ }

{ _Can't. No time. Must go._ } He hit the call button.

Shepard came to a halt just a few feet from him. { _Mordin… you'll die._ }

There was a pause before the salarian responded. { _Everybody dies, Shepard. I made a mistake. Only I can correct it._ }

{ _Dalatross Linron wants me to stop you. She wants me to sabotage the cure._ }

 _Holy shit,_ _ **that's**_ _what the dalatross wanted?!_ Sam stared helplessly, unwilling to halt this conversation, but also having a hard time picturing Shepard even _considering_ betraying Wrex. Not after everything she had seen Shepard do to _support_ the man in his efforts.

Mordin stopped and turned to face Shepard. { _Dalatross wants… but not you?_ }

An endless moment spanned before Sam as she watched Mordin watching Shepard. Finally, the camera shook from side to side. { _It's too high a price to pay for Salarian support._ }

Mordin nodded, a smile forming on his odd mouth. { _You are a true friend of the krogan._ }

{ _How can you say that? I actually considered that_ _ **snake's**_ _offer._ }

{ _But didn't take it. Weighed it. Considered what you would gain. Didn't focus too big._ _ **Can't**_ _focus too big. Big picture made of small pictures. Too many variables. Why I need to fix this mistake. Personal is_ _ **important**_. _Personal matters to all the mothers like Eve, forced to bury every child they labor for._ } He stepped into the lift and hit the button to take him up. { _Goodbye, friend._ }

Then… he was gone. Shepard swore, turned, and ran for the door.

Meanwhile… Sam could still hear Mordin. Presumably, so could Shepard. He took a deep breath. And then, quietly… he began to sing.

{ _I am the very model of a scientist salarian…_ }

Sam gaped. _Is that Gilbert and Sullivan?!_

Explosions sounded. He coughed. But he kept going.

{ _I've studied species: Turian, Asari, and Batarian…_ }

Another small explosion sounded. Sam cut the line for everyone but her. She wouldn't expose everyone to his last breaths against their wills. But neither could she deny him someone sitting his deathwatch. He was about to die a hero. Someone needed to hear his last words. Even if it was just Petty Officer Samantha Traynor.

{ _Temperature now within acceptable range. Dispersal commencing_.} Sam let her breath out at the robotic announcement. She hadn't even been aware she'd been holding it.

{ _I am the very model-_ }

Mordin Solus was cut off in a raucous explosion. On the galaxy map display, the Shroud burst outward in flames. Sam squeaked, wide-eyed and open-mouthed as she stared at the display. Until a sound caught her attention.

It was Shepard. She was… _crying._

Sam cut the commander's feed to everyone else, and then she watched as Shepard removed her helmet and set it aside… facing herself. Sam was treated to possibly the worst thing she'd ever seen. Well, the second. The first was Ashley getting her neck broken.

But this… Shepard had crumpled to the ground, and her gloved hands were up, shielding her eyes as she sobbed privately, hidden, huddled down in some fresh rubble made by the Reaper. She was alone. She'd lost a friend. She'd saved the krogan people, but she'd lost another friend.

Sam cut the feed. Shepard's private moment didn't need Sam being a looky-loo.

Instead, she reached for her controls, singling out Liara's comm signal. It wasn't her place… but it was all she could do for Shepard, who needed to be allowed to be human from time to time. And who was swiftly becoming a friend of sorts.

"Doctor T'Soni?"

{ _Yes, Specialist Traynor?_ } the asari replied immediately.

"I'm transmitting Shepard's location to you. She… she needs you."

{ _Of course. I'll take Vega and-_ }

"I'm sorry, Doctor T'Soni, but she needs _you_. Dr. Solus… perished in order to ensure the cure was dispersed."

A pause, then, { _I see. I shall… I shall spread the news, and go to her. I… thank you, Specialist._ }

"Just looking out for a friend, ma'am," Sam said, then took her finger off the button before she could transmit anything more.

 _Tape over your mouth so you can't get your foot in there. That's the way to do it, Sammy_.

Wiping an errant tear from the corner of her eye, Sam went to work writing her report. There would be a lot of cleanup work to do, coordinating everyone and helping the primarch with his communications… but they'd done it.

The genophage was no more.


End file.
